Potty Training !

My son (who is almost three) was doing that. He would wear underwear all day, then when he knew he need to go #2 he would tell me he wanted a diaper. I did something and it did seem to work. I let him know that if he went on the potty he would get a treat. I put skittles in a jar and when he did #2 on the potty I would cheer for him and let hime get a few skittles. Bribery, I know, but it worked. You might try something like that.

I have a home day care and I find this to be normal. Most of the kids do #2 after they leave me but parents all have the same complaints. G. W

My son had the problem of not wanting to poop on the potty and requesting a diaper. I gave him more time and didn't push it. During the interim we talked about where poop belonged and that one day he would do it on the potty like a big kid when he was ready. I got him a book called "Where's the Poop" and he thought that was fun to read. When he pooped in the diaper we would go together to dump it in the potty and flush it. He even said bye-bye poop. This was a 6 month process. Then I decided I would give it another try to see if he was ready to let go of the diaper for poop. I bought him a video called "Potty Power" and he watched it for 2 weeks straight and loved it. Then I said no more diapers and we counted them down together to the very last one. We did a Chuck E Cheese sticker chart and told him we would take him there if he filled up the chart for 2 weeks. Well it worked and he pooped on the potty the first day. I think he was finally ready to do it and felt like we gave him the control he needed. That's what worked for us!

This is very, very normal and he will eventually get over it. I would let him continue doing it in the diaper, only give him an option. Maybe as part of your bed time routine, or even earlier in the day if it works better, tell him to let you know when he needs to poop and you'll help him get a diaper on, and that you'll change him when he's done. If there's no battle to fight, the thrill of the fight will be gone. Once you get past the battle part, start asking hime if he'd like to try the potty or stick with the diaper. Be very non-chalant about it, and don't say anything negative about using the diaper instead of the potty. As far as rewards, there can be an immediate reward system (stickers, M&Ms, etc.) or delayed reward. Delayed reward might look something like this: go to the store without him and get something awesome for the reward. Something with a lot of parts will be best. Maybe a train set with lots of pieces of track and several engines/cars. Put the box somewhere visible -- on top of the fridge, a bookshelf, entertainment center, etc. Don't say a word until he notices it. When he asks about it, leave it up there and stand with him while you gaze at it in awe. Agree with him that it's great, and tell him that when he's "ready", it can be his. He may say he's ready, or he may throw a fit for it, or (if you're lucky) he may ask if he's ready. Make sure he knows that "being ready" is the goal. You might ask him if he'd like to know what needs to happen for him to be "ready." You can tell him that you'll know he's ready when he's "done with diapers." Ask if he knows what Done With Diapers means, let him know that it's when he chooses to poop in the potty and not a diaper. And, rather than give him the whole thing at once, maybe every time he goes in the potty he can get a piece of the track.

Don't panic! This happens quite frequently but also can be concerning. I would try not asking him if he needs to potty, but make it a normal routine that 15 or 20 minutes after a meal, you place him on the potty for a "sit down" and let him get used to the way his body feels after a meal. We all have a natural reflex to "potty" after we eat, even though we can ignore it. This might be a fight at first, but don't force him to stay on the potty, but be consistent to return there after the next meal. One thing about potty training, little people can control it and not you. Be patient and persistent and consistent! Hang in there! Try allowing him to take a special book or toy with him to the bathroom during this "sit down". Good luck!
S.
Pediatric Nurse Practitioner

Hi, S.. Well, it's not just boys...my daughter was the same way... she was "pee-pee trained" but would refuse to go poop on the potty. I asked her pediatrician about it, and he said it was completely normal and not to worry. My daughter would never poop in her panties. She would simply ask us for a diaper because she had to go poop. We tried the motivation charts, the rewards with little gifts, etc., but nothing would motivate her to poop anywhere but in her diaper. We allowed her to poop in the diaper, so she wouldn't hold her poop and get "backed up". :) I will tell you that she was "pee-pee trained" about 6 months before she went poop on the potty, but once she did and got over whatever it was in her mind that was keeping her from doing it, she's been doing it ever since. She was so proud of herself. We never forced her to sit on the potty until she pooped nor did we ever deny her a diaper when she asked for one. Allowing her to do it when she was ready and using the diapers until she was ready worked for us, and it kept it from being a negative experience for her. Good luck!

Hi S.. I have 4 children and they all responded to a different technique. You could try putting him on the toilet every 30 minutes all day until you get the desired end result, which will get old for him and you very quickly, but it has worked well for other children I keep. You might try sitting him on the toilet 10 min. after he eats; every time he eats. That's when the urge to go most often occurs. If there is one thing that he likes to play with or eat the most, use that as the incentive and only allow it if he goes. Hope this helps. S. W.

My now 6 1/2 year old son had similar issues. I bought the toys, had the incentives, etc. What I found worked was money! He got a dollar every time he pooped in the potty and he saved his money and bought a wii!! However, if incentives don't work, my pediatrician had suggested letting him use the diaper to poop but he had to sit on the potty with the diaper on. This way he will get the idea of sitting and doing it and once he does it a few times, you can show him that there is no difference between sitting and pooping in the diaper or letting it fall into the potty. Good luck! My heart goes out to you!

I struggled and struggled and bribed and pushed and did everything. Then I gave up, put the stupid diaper on whenever my 3 1/2 year old boy asked for it, changed it immediately after, and one day a couple of months after I gave up, he wanted to try on his own. He has been doing it 100% ever since. When he is ready to, he will. I think when you are not invested in his success, it takes the pressure off, and eventually they want to do it. Good luck, I know it is hard!!

My nephew went throught this exact thing. He waited to go no.2 until well after he was 4. Sometimes it just takes boys a lot longer. The doctor told us that it was an "internal fear" that they have about doing that. I don't know. But also he will go on his own when he is "ready" to let it be released in the toilet. My son did that also only it wasn't as bad as with my nephew. My nephew would hold it in until his tummy would start hurting. When he told us he had to go, we'd put a diaper on and he'd run and find him a spot to go do his business, then we'd clean him up, put his underwear back on and he'd be fine. I still don't understand it, but he's 8 now and it's something we look back at and laugh about.

My son would hold it for a day or two. I used treats and I had him help clean up the mess. Somehow we got through it. Good luck!!

my guy did this too. After bath and before bed we had naked hour. He would play in the bathroom without clothes. I had his favorite toys and videos and read books. He didn't have to sit on the pot, he just had to stay in the bathroom for one hour. He was so sneaky. He tried to tiptoe into his room for a pullup but I was standing guard so he finally resorted to to poop in the pot. We had a parade and called Mimi. Good luck

This sounds like he is your first child. Our first was also a boy, and I soon realized that this potty training business was something in HIS control. I could help, encourage, but I could not control his potty 'exercises'. My wise mother-in-law helped meby stating that he wouldn't always want to mess his diaper/pants. He would see that it wasn't his desire, and soon conform. Sometimes the pressure to conform, causes the child to dig in their heels. Not much for advise, but I hope you might relax a bit about this. It won't go on forever.

My son had the same problem. He is two and has been potty trained for about two months. I would take him to the bathroom when I knew he had to do #2 and would just sit in there with him. And finally he started going in the potty because I was there with him. It took a couple of times doing this before he got it. Now he goes by him self!

I have a 3 year old girl and was going through the same thing until we just had a breakthrough a couple weeks ago. If he tells you when he needs to go (my daughter would go get a pull up and bring it to me!) instead of saying lets go to the potty chair, or do you want to go to the potty (because of course the answer was always no) I changed the pace. I had her choose a book and I picked her up and took her to the potty and had her sit down on it..she was so distracted by the fact that we were going to read the book that she just started to go the bathroom...so my advice is to distract him from the #2!

I found out that this is very common for boys...my son did the same thing. It just takes time an patience...the more we pushed the more he resisted. He will be 4 in less than a month and we still have issues at times.
We just let him go in his underwear but make him wash them out in the toilet and he has to get new clothes himself...if you continue to use diapers it makes it easy for them to continue this behavior. If he is trained for pee pee, then you should not have to use a diaper at night. You may have a couple of nights where you have to get up and help him change clothes, but he will learn soon enough that he must use the toilet...he will get used to it.
I hope this helps.

Hello S.!
Try cheerios! Sounds crazy huh, but place a few cheerios in the toilet and have him aim when he needs to potty. It will turn this chore into a fun game and of course a prize at the end! Let me know how it goes. Good Luck!
C.
Office Manager and mommy of two

If he has a certain time of day he usually goes, set him on the pot with a book to read or someting, and he may accidently go, and then see it wasn't no big deal after all, or you may try a potty chair. I know sitting on the big pot is grat, no clean up, but maybe he is scared of the big one, and the flush. so after he goes a few times in a little potty chair, he may see it is fine to go in the big one. You may be able to find a potty chair at a good will or somewhere, so you don't have to pay for a new one, if you think this may help.

Have you tried a "Potty Party"?
Get some party hats, silly noise makers, etc. Tell your son that when he goes in the "big boy" potty, (not in his pants or diaper), then he'll get a big boy celebration. You can go all out the first time but then throddle back once he gets it and the potential apprehension of the potty has subsided.
Also a "Potty Chart" might work. Say one star for going "#2" in the potty. When he gets 2 or maybe even 3 stars then reward him with a trip for ice cream or something cool at his age he can appeciate and then ramp it up. (It should take more stars the next time, but perhaps the same level reward.) You will want to eliminate the reward once you know he "gets it" and explain his reward then is that he is growing up and becoming a big boy with new big boy privelages...

You got a lot of good suggestions.

If you decide to stick with the diaper route, buy diaper liners. They keep the poop away from the diaper and you might be able to use the diaper again, since it didn't get wet or poopy/filthy.

Maybe you could figure out how much each diaper costs and put that amount of money in a jar he can see and it can be money toward something he wants - trip to Chuck E Cheese/ some toy... I don't know if this would be a valid idea/approach but it might work!

Good luck!

Hi S.,
I feel for you. This same thing happened with my daughter, it's called withholding. They can get so paniced about going on the potty that they actually get consiptated and start having stomach cramps that cans send you running to the Drs. office. Here's all you need to do: Stay calm and kind, (they're scared not naughty), go get the book "Everyone Poops" by Tara Gomi. Read it and talk, talk, talk about how many people poop in the potty! Daddy poops in the potty, mommy poops in the potty, jacob, nana etc. etc. etc. You've done a great job already thinking of what's best for you son. I wish I could say I understood my daughter and her needs when this was happening to me. You're not silly for using the diaper, you were using your mommy instincts. Lay on the encouragement and offer either choice. Poop in the potty, poop in the diaper? You could offer an incentive for pooping like "Daddy." Here's the good news.......... Your son has great control of his bowels! When he is potty trained he's never going to give you trouble with accidents! Good job and God Bless, J.