Potty Training - House Springs,MO

Updated on March 12, 2007
C.R. asks from House Springs, MO
25 answers

My son is 2 1/2 and simply refuses to use the potty. We've been trying to potty train him, and there are days he simply refuses to even get on the potty. I am pretty sure he is ready, but I don't know what to do anymore. Our daughter was so easy to potty train. it only took a month or so, and she did great. I'm so frustrated!

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So What Happened?

Well, within a couple days of my post, he suddenly started wanted to go potty. I can tell it's going to take some time, but we are making progress.

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K.N.

answers from Lawton on

Have you tried putting fruit loops in the potty and telling him to see if he can hit them. My grandmother had a daycare for years and this is how she potty trained her boys. My mother-in-law said to put a sticker in the bottom of the potty and see if they can hit it. My son will be two in April and he came to me and said "he poop in potty" and is doing good boys are a lot harder than girls. My daughter was 10 mos when she was potty trained.

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C.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I know exactly how you feel. I have a son the same age, and he does the same thing. Anytime you ask him if he needs to go potty,he says no, and I don't want to make him sit on the potty, because it might make the situation worse. Maybe boys really are harder to train than girls...If you find any good advice, let me know.

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My son wasn't potty trained until 3 1/2. Some kids just aren't ready that young. I would back off for awhile to see if he shows interest on his own.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hello! I have 2 1/2 year old twin boys, and we started potty training them about 3 months ago. We picked the day we were going to begin, and when that day came, we made a big party of it - horns, hats, prizes - you name it. They were very enthusiastic. We took them to the potty about every half hour for the first day. Of course, we had some accidents, but half the battle was just keeping them interested. Every time they would attempt it, we would get so excited and cheer like they had just won the Olympics! They would get a little "prize" just for attempting(goldfish, raisins, etc), a pee got a bigger prize (sticker, piece of candy, etc...) and a poop got a big prize (little car, truck, toy, ). I know some people would disagree with this reward/bribery method. But, we only did that for a few days, then it became a habit. I would say they were fully trained within a week - aside from nights and naps. That was three months ago, and they have done great ever since.

I know that every child is different, so there are never guarantees. I think that the child definitely has to be somewhat interested, but sometimes if you can keep them excited about it, that's half the battle!

Good luck!

A.

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T.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know that this is not what you want to hear, but I have a 3 1/2 year old little boy who refuses to use the potty at all. Have tried everything, bribes, rewards, big celebrations but nothing has worked. He is just completely un-interested in going on the potty. Have tried buying cool underwear and putting that on but he just goes in the underwear and doesn't care. A friend told me that her son was 4 1/2 before he was trained (it was really easy at that age she said). But that if they don't want to use the potty there isn't a whole lot you can do. She said it will come with time. I am not holding by breath at this point. I think my 2 year old son will be trained before his big brother

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

hi C., first i will say i have to boys and 2 girls. the girls are easier and a little younger the boys are older but if its the right time it will happen quickly. if he is rufusing he's not ready. there is no reason to push this it will only back fire on you. i would wait till at least a couple months before he is three.
my daughter is going to be 3 years old in may we have dabbled in the potty thing but got real serious about it last week. in the first day we had about 6 accidents since then we've had one or none and been in the same panties all daywe only use pull ups at night now since thats the last thing to come with potty training.
with potty training it takes the right time, right age for each child, patience and consistency. if you are lacking in any of these areas i wouldnt even try. i amn a home child care provider as well of mother of 4 and each time the boys have been over 3 years old (even my own boys) and the girls have been getting ready to turn 3 years old by the time they were potty trained. i have potty trained 6 kids in all. i have a friend and her little girl is 3 all ready and doesnt want anything to do with it. i have another friend her son just turned 3 at the end of feb and its not going very good. one more thing each time ive started potty training ive never used the potty chair, we just went straight to the big potty. kids see adults doing things as in this and when you start to get them to do the same going on a little potty chair doesnt seem right as with my daughter. good luck W.

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M.V.

answers from St. Louis on

Boys take longer than girls. I would wait until the summer and work with him. Then, he can run around in just underwear and he will feel the need to go to the bathroom.
Don't rush this. He will do this in his own time.

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J.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I bought a stool for my son to stand on, and he got a huge kick out of being able to stand up and use the big potty like his daddy. It's worth a shot. You just have to remind him to watch where he's aiming. Once you have the pee down, the other should come pretty easily with some rewards for going. Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Kansas City on

My Son did not want to go into the bathroom to potty. So, I put a candy jar in there. When he went, he got a treat. I also made it fun. We can up with a potty song. I stop forcing it, and just had fun with it. He potty train with in weeks. Also, try to take him underwear shopping. Make a big deal about it. How big boys get to wear cool underwear.

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C.E.

answers from Oklahoma City on

*C.
LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE HAD A LOT OF ADVISE ALREADY. BUT HERE'S ONE MORE FOR YA:) I JUST POTTY TRAINED MY SON AT 2 1/2 YRS OLD AND THIS WORKED FOR ME. I HAD THE POTTY CHAIR IN THE BATHROOM AND HAD HIM SET ON IT AND THEN I SAT IN FRONT OF HIM AND USED THE BATHROOM. (#2) I KNOW THIS SOUNDS WEIRD BUT IT WORKED. ANYWAYS I MAD THE PUSH FACE LIKE YOU HAVE TO PUSH YOUR BUSINESS OUT AND SAID THE WORD "MAMMA'S PUSHING" AFTERWARDS I GOT UP AND HE SAW WHAT I DID AND WANTED TO FLUSH THE TOILET FOR ME AND THEN I SAID "YEA MOMMIE, MOMMIE GO POOPOO IN THE TOILET AND NOT IN HER UNDIES" THEN I STATED TO HIM THAT "KODA DO THAT TOO OKAY?" "KODA CAN BE A BIG BOY TOO, OKAY?" WELL HE DIDN'T GO RIGHT THEN AND THERE BUT WHEN IT CAME TO PUTTING UNDIES ON HIM I SAID THAT HE HAD UNDIES LIKE HIS DADDY. HE IS A BIG BOY LIKE DADDY AND WEARS UNDIES. KODA LOVES TO WEAR COWBOY BOOTS. HE FIGHTS ME EVERYDAY WANTING TO WEAR THEM WITH EVERY OUTFIT. HE HAS BOOTS LIKE HIS DADDY. HE CALLS THEM BOOCS. BUT ANYWHO WHEN HE WAS WEARING HIS UNDIES I WOULD SAY DO YOU NEED TO GO PEE PEE? AND HE WOULD GO AND SIT ON THE POTY CHAIR AND TRY IT AND THE 1ST TIME HE DID IT I JUMPED UP AND DOWN AND MADE HIS SISTERS COME LOOK AND AND WE ALL CLAPPED AND SAID YEA!!!!!!! KIDA IS A BIG BOY NOW. SO EVERYTIME HE WENT THAT FOLLOWING DAY IT WAS ALL A BIG PARTY OF ALL OF US HOOTING AND HOLLERING. IT WORKED. ALSO HE WANTS TO BE SO INDEPENDENT AND EMPTY IT INTO THE TOILET TOO. IT CAN GET MESSY SOMETIMES BUT IT WORKED FOR HIM THAT WAY. HE LIKES TO FLUSH THE TOILET. ALSO NOW HE WON'T DO #2 IN HIS POTTY CHAIR ONLY #1 AND THINKS THE BIG TOILET IS FOR #2. THAT WORKED OUT REAL WELL. NOW HE HAS BEEN USING THE POTTY FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS AND THE OTHER DAY I HEARD HIM USING THE BATHROOM AND IT SOUNDED RATHER LOUD. I WALKED IN ON HIM AND HE WAS STANDING AT THE TOILET USING IT STANDING UP ON HIS OWN. OF COURSE I HAD TO CLAPP AND SAY YEA YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW LIKE DADDY DOES HUH? HE SAID YUP I BIG BOY! IT TOTALLY SHOCKED ME:)

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K.W.

answers from Kansas City on

The daycare where I take my son suggested that we just take diapers away completely (except at night) because we were having the same issues. It only took a few accidents for him to figure out that it didn't feel good to go in his pants. The key is don't give in, it may be a pain to clean up a few accidents (maybe even more), but it is worth it because it didn't take us long...maybe a week to have him fully potty trained. Good luck!!

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C.K.

answers from Tulsa on

Good Morning C.. My son turned 2 in January.I started getting him introduced to the potty about Oct of last year. He started telling when he pottied in his diaper so I thought that meant he was getting ready. I was wrong. I got him the potty chair and the ring for for the big tiolet and a stool to stand on. He would go in there sit for about 1 seconds say he was done wipe himself and off the potty. About a week before his 2nd Birthday I told him no more diapers that we were wearing big boy undies now and he loved the idea. 1st day we went through 3 pairs of undies in less than an hour and nothing in the potty. I was obsessed with taking him to the potty. Everyone I spoke with said that I needed to make him stay on the potty till he went, but nobody explained how to do that. So I tried making him stay on the potty by telling him stories, telling him to push like he is going to fart (which he loves to do )and finally my telling him he can't get up until he went peepee. Worst mistake of motherhood to date.(and there has been alot of those)Now my son wants nothing to do with the potty except to give me paper when I go. So take my advice (not that I have been sucessful yet) don't pressure him or make him feel like he is being punished. Listen to what advice YOU think will work for HIM! We are going to wait until he starts showing interest again.

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T.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN HE IS READY, EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT. BELIEVE ME I WORK AT A HEADSTART AND ALSO HAVE 6 OF MY OWN. WHEN HE IS READY YOU'LL KNOW. USE POSITIVE REINFORSEMENT AND WAIT. JUST HAVE LOTS OF PATIENCE & SHOW HIM HOW HAPPY YOU ARE WHEN SISTER GOES POTTY. BUT DONT MAKE HIM FEEL BAD WHEN HE DOESNT.

LOTS OF LUCK,
TAB

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J.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

As hard as it is you have to just back off for a while. It's not that he isn't ready, it is a power struggle right now and that is the one thing that he can control. My little boy was the same way at 2 1/2 so i backed off for a little while. Then I tried again when he was about to turn 3 (about 2 months before) and he was potty trained in 3 days.

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R.S.

answers from Tulsa on

My son is turning 3 in 2 weeks. I have been stuggling as well with him going. I started when he was 2 1/2 years old. (that is when I started my daughter, she did it in a week.. She is now 10) My son not so much....
He uses the potty all day long.. only to pee... poops in the pull-up about 10-15 minutes after we get home from daycare, then will bring me the wipes and ask me to clean his butt. (He knows that what he is doing, he is just stubborn and likes to do it his way).
I would say take a potty training break for a few weeks. Then take him to the store and have him help you to pick out some undies... that have to stay dry so that he can wear them again and start with putting them on while you are at home. (If he is in daycare, talk to your lady and have her help you.)

My son is better now on the peeing part, and we work on the poop... It will get better...

Thanks,
R.

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F.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi C.,

According to Child Experts; they will tell parents that a child will go when he/she is ready to go. I have heard that boys usually do it around three or so. I don't know that to be a hard fact.

Just act excited when your daughter goes and or someone else, eventually, he will have an interest in it. That is how I did it with my kiddos'

I know after awhile, diapers, are something you want to get rid of.

I know how frustrating it is... but it will happen in time.

Take Care
F. M.
Olathe, KS

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J.J.

answers from Springfield on

I know this is going to sound stupid but I told my daughter that there was a potty monster and he was hungry. Whenever she went peepee, the potty monster drank it. He was a very nice monster that lived really far underground. You could not see him but when he heard the toilet flush, he would sing a happy song because he knew he was going to get something to eat and drink. His song went something like, "I am a happy potty monster, I get my yummy food from the girls and boys pottying in the potty." She is now ten and uses the potty monster story to help at her sitters with other kids that are training.

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S.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We started working with our son around 2 1/2 because the other kids in daycare were going to the potty. It has taken a year of encouragement, but he's now a "big boy". We bought a couple of potty books (one even made a flushing sound), tried rewards (go somewhere only big boys - not babies - can go), showed a lot of excitement... seems like we tried everything! Although it's now a year later, he's finally potty-trained. However, there's still resistance going pee-potty in the morning.

My advice, be patient yet persistent. Back off a little but not completely. When he's ready, he'll do fine.

Good luck!

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T.L.

answers from Peoria on

If he is refusing, my guess is that he isn't ready. I heard they regress a little sometimes. I have also heard if you push them too much it'll take even longer to get them trained. I think girls are just easier to potty train. If I were you I'd wait until he was really ready and then go for it. It's better than him being much older. Good luck!

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T.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I had the same problem with my son. He was completely ready to use the potty, he would tell me when he had to go, but he would refuse to use the potty. I kept asking the doctor what to do and buying all the potty training books, but unfortunantly nothing helped. A few months after turning 3yo he finally decided to use the potty and was potty trained right then and there. Which mad me happy and mad all at once because it proved that he knew how to use the potty but just didn't want to. Sometimes you just have to try to be patient and let them decide when they want to start using the potty. I know that doesn't help out your frustrations though, Sorry.

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G.N.

answers from St. Louis on

I just know every kid is different and of course girls are more mature than boys so they do things quicker. Just be patient and he will go in time, try to reward him for going when he goes, my cousin left candy or whatever your son likes put it on the back of the toilet and let him flush after he goes make if fun make games out of it, put cheerios in the toilet bowl and tell him to aim for them. I just know if you force them it will take longer. Be patient and consistent bring him in there every 1/2 hr. I have seen books on potty training maybe buy him a book on it let him see that its what your suppose to do. That big boys go on the potty not in there pants, and tell him you are a big boy. Give him lots of hugs and praise when he does go on the potty

Hope that helps

G.

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P.S.

answers from St. Louis on

ok here is my tip that worked on my son... I know alot of people will not agree but it worked
ok i would put the potty chair in the living room with a towel under it.. b/c wit alot of kids they can't get relaxed so i would throw on a show he loves and now let him get up for a lil bit and once he would relaxe he would go. And it was a Party
Then he would get a reward.
Well to start daddy has tattos and he always wanted them so I told him if he would go he would get 1. well it worked.. I belive you have to find something the child JUST LOVES... for Anthony it was tattos...and by the end of a week or so we were running out of room to put new tattos.. he looked like a lil biker boy.

oh and after about2 weeks in the living room when we got more ok with going i moved it to the bathroom.

but you will make it through and so will your son.just try to be remain CALM... that was the hard part for me.. GOOD LUCK

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L.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I share your pain. My daughter is 2 1/2 and she says yes to everything except using the potty. I don't think she is ready bc I will put panties on her and she will pee in them and doesn't care at all. I hope someone posts something that worked for them.

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J.O.

answers from Kansas City on

why are you sure he is ready? refusing to go is a big sign that he is not ready. don't make this a battle of wills--the child always wins. You cannot MAKE him go on the potty--all you can do is provide the right conditions and the encouragement. consider waiting 6 months and then giving it another try.

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S.K.

answers from Joplin on

Our son is 3 1/2 now; we did not even begin to potty train until he was about a month before his 3rd birthday. It was amazingly easy. I've heard that boys aren't necessarily 'harder' but that they are just not ready as soon. IMO, it's a battle that is not worth fighting unless kids are like 6 years old and not potty trained (LOL). It's stressful on the kids, it's stressful on the parents. His pediatrician recommended for us to wait until summer---when our son would be wearing less clothes (or none at all) and claimed that would help...and I guess it did.

Anyhow, good luck!1

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