Potty Training 4 Yr Old Boy

My son, for the longest time, was afraid of falling in the toilet so he would not sit down to go poo poo. I finally bought him a small seat that fits over the toilet and his little butt does not fall in the toilet. He now uses it all the time and goes poo poo where he should not in his pants.

I had this problem with my Daughter, she wanted NOTHING to do with using the potty for that.

I finally had to do something (Preschool would not take her unless fully potty trained.) So, I did a reverse reward system. I knew she loved to play on the computer. (I had bought a reader rabbit game and Blues Clues for her) I sat her down and told her that she could no longer use the computer, because only Big Girls are allowed to play those games. She knew that Big Girls also used the potty all the time, everytime.

We had 3 days of rough going, she would wait to long to go, or be busy and forget etc. But after ONLY 3 days it worked, she has not had an accident (at least with Poop) since.

Good luck and hope this help's

At 4 years of age he has control- give him the control by letting him clean up the mess. This is actually a very common problem but its usually resolved by 4 years of age. I would reward good behavior and take away something if this happens. ITs one thing if he has a chronic problem its another if he is still fighting the poopy on the potty. Good luck!

I must confess my son finally pooped on the potty when he was naked and I wasnt around to put the diaper on for him to poop. I was sneaking a cigarette outside (Its been 2 years since I last smoked!) I could hear him crying in the house asking for a diaper and I just took my time to come in and during that time he had pooped on the potty! He was crying and crying but we clapped and yelled hooray and even let him have dessert even though he didnt finish his dinne. lol. as traumatic as it was he never asked ofr a diaper again to poop.

I am dealing with the same issue! My son will be 5 in 2 months and won't poop on the potty! We have tried it all and I can't get him to do it. At this rate, his baby sister will be fully trained before he is. He even stays dry at night. I too, am interested in what others have to say about this. I am new to this site so I haven't posted before. Please help!

She should take the boy to the doctor ASAP to rule out encromesis. It's very common but most parents are clueless and continue to pressure and punish. If it is this, he has absolutely no control over it - the poo just leaks out and he honestly can't feel it or control it. It's a very real medical reason and it can greatly affect the child's self-confidence.

The worst thing to do is punish or even do a reward chart type thing because he probably won't do very well and that will just reinforce that he has problems. The doc will tell you what medicine and will work closely with the parent over a period of a few weeks to determine the correct dose for that child. My son has been on Miralax for about 4 months now and it's the best thing ever for him. He's just now getting better (yes, you're in the for long haul -- usually 6-8 months).

I am 50 something too. I'm not a nurse. We had a similar
problem with one of our sons. He finally grew out of it, but
it was frustrating. I just read an article about this very
thing by John Rosemond. He had some very practical solutions....one of them being making the boy sit on the potty
the same time every morning till he does his thing. Tell him
the doctor said he must do this. No rewards for doing it...
and staying calm. I may still have the article in my car.
I hope I do for your and your daughter's sake. I know that
we did put our son on the toilet the same time each day and
that it did help. John Rosemond said that we parents are
waiting too long to start potty training and that is why we're
having this problem. I don't remember having the problem
with my second son...just my first one....and they both waited
till about 2 1/2 years to start the potty training. Anyway
I will look for this article. Hope I still have it.
I don't remember everything he said.

As I said, I'm in my 50's...not a grandmother yet. And
certainly no expert. But I do sympathize. And of course I
was listening to the "experts" at that time regarding potty
training and they all said to wait.

I found the article!!! It was in "The Herald Bulletin"
an Anderson, Indiana newspaper and is dated Monday, January
21, 2008. The title of his article is "Postponing toilet
training can cause stool refusal". If you're not familiar,
he is a family psychologist and he has a web site at
www.rosemond.com. It's a long article. I don't know if
I'm legally allowed to type it verbatim without his permission. I'm going to see if I can find this on Herald
Bulletin's web site or John Rosemond's. I will get back to
you.

Well I wasn't successful with the Herald Bulletin web site,
but I FOUND IT ON John Rosemond's web site.

Here's how to get to it. Go to www.rosemond.com.
The first screen will say "John Rosemond's Traditional Parenting". Look to the left side of the screen. Scroll
down and click onto "Weekly Column". The screen will now
display his weekly column. Again, look to the left and
scroll down till you see a listing of dates for his weekly
column. To get the article on potty training, click onto
"1-15-2008". It's titled a little differently, but I checked
and it is the very same article, word for word, that was
in the "Herald Bulletin".

I was right about needing his permission before using any
of his articles, so you can at least read this article online.

Hope it helps! Love, J. :)

After he has a BM. Let him gently know that is not where he is supposed to go. Then put him on the potty.Watch daily what time he has his BM. Let' say it's noon. After a week of this then you can estimate to put him on the potty @ about 11:40am. Make sure he has a good breakfast (some fiber, like apple in there)and tell him to bear down by grunting. If he goes in the potty then sing a congratulatory song and make a big deal about how proud you are of him, include the family on this part. You can even reward him with stickers or something equivalent. Go all out at this point. Be patient, this will work.Good Luck.

I don't know why poop is harder for kids. With my girls I never used pull up because they are just glorified diapers. If he's doing well with the other then why use the pull-ups. It is an unnecessary expense and he may be more prone to be a big boy if he's wearing big boy pants or underware. Have him and dad go get them and make a big deal out of daddy wears these too and daddy neverrrrr poops in his big boy pants.

Also try to figure out when he goes and get him on the potty at regular 15 minute intervals around that time...it has worked with the 19 month old girl that I've potty trained recently.

And if an accident happens you need to really rienforce that you are disappointed and keep telling the little guy that big boys don't poop in their pants. I know it sounds terrible to some but a few tears is not going to damage them or give them dowm kind of Freudian issue. (Freud was an idiot..and speaking of idiots..I'm probably spelling his name wrong) Anyway, he won't be traumatized and he will get over it. Both my girls are very well adjusted and happy little ones and both have been potty trained since they were 2 1/2...night and day. And the 19 month old I babysit is doing a great job and cheers for herself when she goes potty.

I also used a chocolate chip for a reward when it came to the poops. Who cares about a little reward....don't understand the big issue with it. Both my girls forgot about the chip after awhile and it didn't make them think they have to be rewarded every time they do something good. One little chip for a poop on the potty is not going to hurt anyone and sometimes it does the trick.

Also constantly remind them not to potty in their pants. Over and over all day long. I do it about every 15 minutes or so and then sit them on the potty at regular intervals until they can get the hang of telling me they need to go. It only takes a week or two of vigilance and they are pretty trained at that point.

Good luck!!!

I have to agree with the other comment. With my boy, now 5, I put him on the toilet backwards.. that seem to ease the comfort issue, and then I used toys that he liked, almost as bribery, if you would like to think... but it worked. I also put him on a schedule and every hour or so I made him go to the bathroom and try to do both. It worked! I didn't have any problems. =) Good luck!

I think everyone trains at their own stage. Until he decides that its uncomfortable in his pants, he probably wont make the effort. Do you have a reward system? I would put one in place. When I trained my son we did the sticker chart and at the end of the week a treat (something small) but stil worth it. Although, my son did #1 train by 3 but it did take another 6 mos to be fully trained on #2

Heard about this technique through the grapevine...originally from a country "hick" from Kentucky, I think. :-) (Obviously a city slicker wouldn't think of this.) Cheerfully explain to your son that now he's just too big to clean up with wipes in the house. Explain that now that he's so big you have to clean him outside with the hose. When he's done a BM, cheerfully take him outside (important not to make him feel guilty about it any more that he may already feel), undress him, and hose him off. The idea is that he's just too used to the comfort of having mom comfort him and talk sweet to him and so it's too inconvenient to use the cold potty. Obviously in winter this wouldn't work quite the same way, but perhaps you could use a cool shower to clean him off instead. The discomfort of the cool water will make him realize the potty is not such a bad idea. Supposedly if you make it just sound like a fact (he's too big to clean up with wipes) and not a punishment, he'll just associate the discomfort with growing up, not with you. Just an idea I heard...a little wacky but thought I'd pass it on. My own boy is only 11 months so haven't had to tackle this issue yet.

Maybe he isn't ready for the pooping part. Maybe he can't feel the poop coming until it is too late. You could try a simple bribe system like neat little toys in a grab bag. For every poop he does in the toliet, he gets to dip in the bag. Or for every time he feels the urge to go and runs to the toliet to do the poop, reward him. Sometimes it is the child just learning to read his own body signals. Keep a chart to show his progress. Then stagger it: for every 5 poops, a slightly bigger toy. It gets expensive but it works....Someone once told me to let the child clean himself after doing it in his pants, but I think that is a little drastic.

We used a male doll to help potty train our 2 1/2 yr old (now 3). We named him Max and we had our son help 'teach' Max how & when to use the potty. We put a few raisins in the toilet when our son wasn't looking and with his little eyes bugged out of his head and in total shock he was excited and WANTED to try.

We used a lot of encouragment and asked to see what he made every time. We rewarded him with one mini m&m. I know some mom's are against this form of reward but it wroked for us like a charm. Before long (2 months?) he would go on his own.

He still yells for us to come see what he did but I don't mind. We are diaper free! Tell your daughter to be patient and consistent. Lots of luck to her!

It can take boys a lot longer to fully "potty" train, I would just try to see if he is going at a fairly regular time, and try to get him on the potty at those times. It could also be a vie for attention as well. Try putting him on the pot and reading a few books to him, or have him read to you, he'll get it eventually...:) I wouldn't be concerned at this point...

Mom of three...

When I started to train my son who was 3 years and 2 months at the time, we initially had some issues with the BMs (i.e. him holding it in and refusing to use the potty). Coincidentally, I was going to the pediatrician for my daughter's 15 month visit. I asked the pediatrician about this and she said that this is not uncommon, but that you don't want your child to get constipated. She suggested telling him that if he was not comfortable using the potty, that he should request a diaper for this purpose (to only be used in the bathroom). She also suggested that after a period of time (and since your child is already 4), you should have him sit on the potty with the diaper. Eventually, the idea is to lose the diaper. With my son, as soon as I told him he could use the diaper, he just decided to use the potty ... he realized that I wasn't going to make a power struggle out of this. As someone once said to me, they control what goes in and what goes out. Good luck to you.

i was told when potty training my little boy that sometimes the bm's last for a while because they associate it with something they "created" and because of that they fear watching it flush into the unknown waters of the potty. my friend encouraged me to have my son "help" me empty his pull-up into the potty and then watch as it goes down. we even waved goodbye. as strange as that sounds (trust me, i thought it was crazy) it worked for us.

My sister and many of my friends have had this same issue w/ their 3 year olds (most of them boys) - Some may not agree - but it worked w/ my sis - She found a currency for him - Thomas Engines - When he went he got one - When he went in his pants she took one away - She did this for about 2 weeks and then changed to nickels - Now 3 weeks later - No payment plan is needed -

My oldest son was 4 1/2 before we finally got him to have BM's on the potty. If he pooped in his pants, we made him stand at the toilet and dunk his underwear until they were clean. We also made him clean himself up. He screamed and cried the whole time. Finally, we bribed him. We gave him a dollar every time he used the potty (BM only). One day, we were out $9.00 but he started using the potty. We told him that he couldn't go to school until he started using the potty. That was heartbreaking for him. He is in now in Headstart. Bribery is not bad all the time. We had even talked to our pediatrician about it.
Good luck!!! LOL

I am having the same problem with my 3 1/2 yr. old son.
I have went to the DR. to check him out-just in case it was medical. His BM were a little hard, so the DR. suggested a high fiber diet to help him pass his BM without so much pain. He is now having movements on a regular basis (YEAH). That has helped, but he still waits toooo long and gets a little poop in his underware. I have read books and books about this. I try to reward him for good BM's. But we still go through 2-3 pairs of underware a day. So we are stuck there. The books suggest that a change in the childs life could of effected him/her (divorce-newborn-school). I am expecting another child, so I have tried to involve him in a positive way for this change. I hope this has helped. If youhave any other helpful info - please pass it along. (____@____.com)
M.

As long as you know there is no medical issues - he should easily be able to do this by now. (talk to your ped to be sure). To be in pre-school you have to be potty trained so I wonder how you've worked around that?? There are several things you can try: a reward system: make a bathroom chart & add stickers. Once he has so many stickers - he'll get something (whatever he loves & have a picture of that with the sticker chart). You've got to get him to go at least once on the potty though to get this system started. (this worked well with our daughter - didn't try this on our son)

We also tried 1 m&m for pee & 2 m&m's for pooping on the potty. We started this between 2 & 2&1/2 with our kids & it also worked great. We had a "special jar" of m&m's in each bathroom that were strictly for going potty - he never got them for anything else....(even when he begged....) He would want to go potty just to get an m&m - that was fine with us as long as he was going on the potty :)

Lastly - You can also try withholding things he wants/likes (shows, snacks, candy, etc...) until he goes on the potty. At 4 he has some reasoning skills & you may need to get tough on this. During the day - you can reason with a 4 year old regarding the potty. (I think nighttime accidents are a different story).

Your child is not having "accidents" during the day - he's just choosing not to do it. I'm sure there are many books out there on this issue - but these are some of the practical things we've tried & they have worked. Our kids have been potty trained by 2.5 (boy & girl)

I'm sure the reason we were all potty trained so young is because our mom's were using cloth diapers....... I think if we had to use them today too - many parents would train completely different.

Good Luck.

Try purchasing the new potty chair that
plays music, or use musical toys for
entertainment.

Punishment definitely isn't the way to persuede a kid to use the potty. It sounds like maybe your daughter hasn't learned his cues and how to anticipate that he's about to poop. Getting the book "Potty Training in One Day" can help her learn when he needs to poop.