Potty Training - 20 Months?

Updated on June 28, 2011
J.S. asks from Saint Paul, MN
24 answers

Ok, I know you all might think I'm nuts (my husband does), but I am curious if any of you have tried to potty train a second child (boy) as early as 19 or 20 months? I have two boys and a new baby coming in Nov. My older son is 3, and we didn't even try to potty train until he was nearly 3 (it went great and was pretty easy once we mastered pooping).

Now, my younger son has been very interested in the potty since we trained his brother. Starting around 15 months he would pretend to sit on the potty, tell me when he was pooping, and talk about the potty. As I write this he is playing cars with his brother and I heard him say "go potty over there - car go potty". So, obviously it is something he is thinking about. His verbal skills are pretty good for 19 months, so I am sure I can communicate with him about the potty.

My question is, those of you that attempted training at this age, how did you approach it? Did you put them in underwear or cloth diapers with plastic cover to start so they could feel when they are wet? What kind of rewards worked at this age? We used M&M's with my older son, but I'm not sure I want to do that so young.

Am I totally nuts for thinking about trying it? One of the factors is that he has started having reactions to most diapers and we've had to switch to the 7th Generation diapers which are pretty spendy. Also, having had 2 in diapers at the same time, I'd love not to have to do that again if possible.

As always, your thoughts are greatly appreciated!

THank you,
J.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

OK. Now I am encouraged. THANK YOU LADIES! I do think I'll wait till mid August... we have a mini vacation planned and the boys will be with their aunt for 4 days and then a weekend at my parents... but after that, we'll be home, so I am going to try it!

Jess

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Davenport on

you are absolutely not nuts! My first son wanted to start at about that time. We, on the other had, wanted him to wait since we were in process of moving from Germany, back to the states. there was no holding him back and I'm glad we let him because he was mostly potty trained when my nine month old was born. Get him a footstool, and to have him aim, have him lean forward an hold on to the lid (yes, antibacterial wipes are a must, but as the legs get longer you can transition him.) We didn't really do rewards, just high fives, and an "I DID it" dance like Dora and Boots do. And he thought it was loads of fun peeing with Daddy. Daddy on the side, him at the front. I walked in on them one day and just shook my head, but it worked! We use GAD (Green acre diapers) Which are a cloth diaper that is fleece lined, and has an opening at the back to slide in a liner. They have elastic waistbands, are very comfy, and if you buckle them on the looser settings, they can be pulled up and down like undies, with the leak protection.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have no answer to this, but along these lines, what are some recs for ages/methods to potty training a boy? I have a 21 month old boy-first baby...

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi J.. I just recently started potty training my 18 month old boy. I read a book called Early Start Potty Training by Linda Sonna before we started. What I do is put him on his potty first thing when he wakes up, 10 mins after eating or drinking and every 30-40 mins. I would say about half the time he wears a pull up and the other half he is naked. The book I read suggested that because diapers are made so well that they have a hard time knowing the difference between wet and dry. I do not give him any "rewards" when he goes potty on the toliet, just a ton of praise. I also bought new books that are only for the bathroom so he loves to sit on his potty and just read. I tell people that I am starting to potty train him and they think I am nuts too. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Omaha on

J.... good for you for listening to your child on this issue! I am working on potty training with my 19 month-old son. So many people have been nothing but discouraging on this issue making remarks such as "don't even bother until he's 3." Like your son, mine has taken up quite an interest in the potty, so we are just going with it!

Right now we are reading lots of books about the potty... his favorite is "Once Upon a Potty." When we are home for long periods of time, we'll let him run around in underwear and bring him to the potty every 30-60 minutes. We offer "potty treats" as a reward (M&M's). One for sitting on the potty, one for going "wee wee" and another for going poo poo.

We don't expect him to be out of diapers before Christmas, but I believe keeping his interest in using the potty, being consistent, and PATIENT (sometimes difficult) will all pay off!

I wish you luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Bismarck on

Hi, I am kind of old to be trying to tell the young mothers anything since I am 60 but my son was totally potty trained by 18 months. We started with pooping when he was around 10 months but he was very regular and would always go at a certain time of the morning so I just put him on the potty when I was getting dressed, etc. in the bathroom and he would go in his chair. I'd empty it later when he wasn't watching.
As for peeing, when he was dry at night, on the pot he'd go in the morning and he would pee. I had to use cloth diapers on him as he was allegic to Pampers and that may be what helped with that. They realize they are wet and don't like it.
Anyway, to keep his interest in peeing in the big potty or just to not go in his pants, I'd have him sink little pieces of toilet paper, pee outside, (we lived in the country) or even pee in a little can. Anything to keep his interst up. It was so cute that at 18 months, he'd grab his crotch and holler "ottie" and head for the bathroom. He walked at 10 months so was pretty mobile. As I said, the pooping was just a matter of knowing when he would go and put him on the pot. I didn't ask him if he had to go, I just took him.
Hope this helps.
By the way, my daughter was almost 3 and didn't show much of an interest in going on the pot. Finally had to put her in cloth diapers and then she was trained in a very short time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Iowa City on

I do not think you are nuts for trying every child is ready at a different age just like for walking or talking. My son was comopletely potty trained at 23 mos & was far easier than my daughter.
Brekka

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from St. Cloud on

J., I'm here to say it CAN be done! My son started potty training at 18 months and was completely (day & night) out of diapers by 19 1/2 months. I actually started "training" him by accident when he was about 13 months old. I would make him sit on the toilet every night while his bath water was running and the sound of the running water would usually make him go. I did this because I was sick of him peeing in the tub, not because I held any delusions of potty training. One morning when he was 18 months, I was changing his diaper and he refused to let me put a new one on, instead he ran to the bathroom. I put cloth training pants on and the vinyl covers when we had to leave the house. Within 2 weeks he was wearing big boy undies even during nap time. And a month later he wasn't even wearing diapers to bed at night. The key is to be consistent. Ask him about every hour if he has to go, make it easy for him with elastic waist pants. Make it a habit that you always go at certain times, like before bath, nap, bedtime and meals, even if he says he doesn't need to. My son is now 3 and still is in the habit of sitting on the potty before all of these times.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.I.

answers from Duluth on

i would totally go for it. my son was interested at like 9 months, so we started to put him on the potty. even if he didnt go, he was a good boy for sitting there. surprisingly, he would go a majority of the times he sat there, (especially if we would run water in the sink or tub).

just follow your kid's lead. he knows his body signals. its much easier (i think) to train a kid when hes realizing he doesnt like wet or poopy diapers than after he gets used to it. i had a kid in my day care who LIKED being in his wet and poopy diapers. :( no good.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi J.! Both my boys were trained early. My oldest was trained at 22 months ,and my youngest at 15 months. We used Elimination Communication (www.diaperfreebaby.org) and we started late with my oldest... about 20 months, but he picked up on it right away. We put him in big boy undies and took him ot the potty every 1/2 hour or so. When we were playing outside we did naked time, and when he'd pee we'd make a big deal out of it so he'd stop and look. He had two big accidents his first day, and one the 2nd day, and after that it was just dribbles adn he'd rush to the potty. He was totally independent in the bathroom by his 2nd b-day.

My youngest we started EC alot earlier. We used cloth diapers for both boys, and I learned more about EC when I was pregnant. By the time my youngest was 5 months old he was pooping regularily on the toilet, and by 8 months he could sign potty, and by a year would say potty and head to hte bathroom. He went into undies full time at 15 months (Gymboree makes 18mo size that is teeny tiny!) He'll be 3 in September and been out of diapers for almost 2yrs with no problems at all.

You have plenty of time to get started right now, since you aren't due until November. Its summer so you can do naked time outside, and pay attention to him, if you see him peeing get his attention and make him look. A time or two of that and he'll want to start aiming at trees.... LOL! Inside put him in undies, and if he wets have him take them off nad help you wipe up the spot, and get new undies, but if he does wet make him sit on teh potty anyway. It will take him some time to get the feeling back. Disposable diapers are so absorbant tha many kids don't evne realize they are peeing.

But you are in the perfect 'window' right now, so go with it. THere will be setbacks and accidents, but there are goign to be if you train now or at 4.... its just the way it is. Lots of praise and patience and you'll have a potty trained little one by 2.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Definitely not nuts. :) Many people start this at birth. My friend from Belarus says most babies there are potty trained by 1 year. Here is another website resource for you: www.tribalbaby.org. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

You're not nuts at all. I started potty training both of my kid's at 19-20 months and both were fully (through the night) potty trained by 2ys 4 months:) One was a girl and one a boy, I didn't make any excuses for my son that "oh he's a boy it will be later for him" (although that's all I heard from lots of moms).
All you need is time, patience and only positive rewards, you know your kids better than anyone else, if he's showing signs of interest run with it:)
Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I started training my daughter at 18 months and it worked great. I do not recommend starting as late as what most peds and books say as you are then "negoiating" with a toddler instead of instructing at a time when they are much more adpt to be open to it.

What I did is I chose my day to start and got rid of ALL diapers (so I couldn't chicken out) Then I followed what another mom had written. I put her on first thing in the morning on the first day. While on the toilet we got a sippy full of water, books and toys and we sat in the bathroom together for 1/2 hour to 45 mins. FINALLY, she went. I did this because I did not want her to think that it was ok just to sit there when on the potty and do nothing.... At that point from the her VERY first time on the chair, she knew what it was for.

Then we went first thing in the am every day, and about 10 mins after any drink or every 30-40 mins. It was hit and miss at first, but she got the hang of it quite quickly. Within 6 months she was in regular panties full time and overnight and has been trained ever since.

I am due with a boy in about 6 weeks and come the time, I will start early and do the same thing with him.

GOOD LUCK!!! YOU CAN DO IT and SO CAN HE!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.J.

answers from La Crosse on

You're not crazy....you are reading your child's cues. My biggest suggestion is to give him chances to learn to toilet without pushing or putting too much pressure on him. As far as reinforcements, see if your praises and hugs will do before resorting to other outside sources, but I would steer clear of food as reinforcements. Stickers worked for my son. A story book or time playing with you or something else he likes to do would probably work. I'd wait on the underwear until his potty trips are predictable and you can anticipate him going and be prepared.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

You are not crazy - haha. My oldest daughter would bring me diapers at 15 months because she hated to be dirty or wet. Her dr said her bladder wouldn't be large enough to go a while inbetween so we waited until 18 months and she trained in a week not problem. Her little sister came along and we tried at 18 months (she was very interested in the potty) but she was hit and miss, we ended up getting the Potty Elmo and she loved it. We also took away the sippy cup (just took the sippy part out of the lid) - a little in all the time, means a littl out all the time - can't really catch anything. So she would drink a lot at one time out of the cup, then 30 minutes later, put her on the potty and she'd go. I also don't use pull ups as they are a glorified diaper - I used the training pants (and rubber pants if we left the house). Hope that helps!!

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

your not nuts, expectally if he is showing intrest in going. my cousin married a lady from china and over there they potty train very early. she had both of her girls 100% potty trained by 15 months. while they were here for the summer she also trained their nephew and he was potty trained by 13 months. my aunt said that they believe while babies are learning all of the other mile stones (sitting up, rolling over, crawling, walking) they need to learn how to use the potty at the same time as their brains are taking in everything. my cousin's wife was shocked to see 2-3 yr olds still in diapers the first time she came to the states. i would go for it, if it works great! if he looses intrest atleast you know you tried and can try again later. good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I think its a great idea...just don't be upset if it doesn't work out. I think cloth diapers are a great idea too...especially with his sensitive skin. You can find charlies soap online..www.charliesoap.com. It doesn't have anyting in it that would irritate his bum. I use it on all our laundry now.
I just wanted to mention that a couple friends of mine have had kids totally potty trained and then the new baby comes...and they start having a lot of 'accidents'. If you want to start before the new baby, just be prepared for the sudden need for attention when baby comes.

A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.V.

answers from Lincoln on

I have four boys, and we tried getting the older two used to the potty chair around 18-20 months, but we kept them in diapers. We would take them in when we went and let them sit on the chair, but we didn't push them on it. Every child is different yours might be ready to give it an honest try. I have 2 in diapers now, so I feel your pain on that. Luckily mine wear the same size now. Good luck to you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Rapid City on

GO FOR IT J.! All 3 of my children were completely potty trained by the time they were 2 yrs old. Consistency is always the key to success. My middle child is a boy and he wanted to potty just like daddy did - he wanted to be a big boy! My children are all grown now (in their 30s & 20s) and back in those days I used ONLY cloth diapers so I was probably more ready than they were but I started each child when they were just 15/16 months of age. Some days were harder than others but we all survived. By the way, my mother had all 6 of us kids potty trained by the time we were 2 yrs old also so it can be done successfully.

Good Luck!
D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

No, you are not nuts. A generation or two ago, children started potty training at 18 months to 2 years, not 3 to 4 years and beyond like they do today.

Disposable diapers are made so well these days, that children never feel wet. The "incentive" for potty training used to be not wanting to sit in your wet underpants or cloth diapers, but with Pull-ups and disposables, we've lost that.

You will speed things up if you put him in either cloth diapers, or you could even do underpants with a cloth diaper cover. He might get excited about "big boy underpants", especially if you let him pick them out, and/or you get him some that are just like Daddy's or his older brother's.

He sounds interested; I'd roll with it! Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I followed my daughters cues and she was potty trained at 20 months. It was completely her idea. I put her in underwear and we had accidents for about 24 hours and then she was perfect. We had stickers and a little book to put them in and she loved that. We still have an accident here or there when she is too busy having fun she may forget, but really they are rare. Good luck and run with it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Waterloo on

hope this helps since my situation isn't exactly the same. i have one child and she's a girl but she communicated by 15 months that she was understanding the concept of going potty. i jumped at that chance and she was totally potty trained by 18 mos. everyone thought i was crazy too! what really worked for me, tho, may not be realistic for everyone. i had the potty chair in the living room and it was summer so i let her run in the house naked. it saved all the time-consuming steps of getting to another room and pulling down pants and all those things that little ones can't think of all at once and hold it til they get it all done. i obviously worked on that so the potty chair wasn't a permanent fixture in the living room for long! i think seeing brother succeed and his interest makes this a good time to start. good luck!

S. m

K.B.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My daughter is 20 months and potty trained! YAY

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Our little girl showed signs of being ready to potty train at around 21 months so we decided to give it a try. We did the potty training in a day method...gave her lots to drink and had her "teach" her doll how to use the potty. We celebrated when her doll was successful (I snuck in and put a little water in the potty while she wasn't looking). We stayed in or near the bathroom almost all morning. When our daughter went in the potty we had a big celebration and she called her grandmas, grandpas, etc. We gave her some big girl underwear (the smallest ones I could find were still too big!) and told her that the potty is where poop and pee go and that she should keep her new underwear clean and dry. She was trained. She had a few accidents in the first few weeks - all when we were away from home but after that, she didn't have any. Our son was trained at 2 and a half. He was completely disinterested in the potty until then. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hello J.,
This all sounds very familiar to me. My 3 1/2 year old son is potty trained, we joked that he took the initiative himself, that we weren't even pushing the issue. Once he started showing interest, when he was just under 3, my daughter (now 2 1/2) started becoming increasingly interested in what was going on. She is still wearing pull-ups but has been "training" since she was just about 20 months also. I am really pretty laid back about the whole thing, reacting very positively when she goes now. I have a 9 month old also, which is maybe why I am mellow about them learning, and was very pregnant when they started. It is definitely possible he's starting at 20 mos., I have heard they often "regress" with a new baby at home, so I would recommend not having too high of expectations, but keep encouraging it, and you never know. Congratulations!!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches