Potty Training - Dover, DE

You have so much great advice. My son's issue was he didn't want to sit long enough to poop. I am lucky enough that my son can see the TV in the living room from the potty. That is the only time he gets to watch TV is to go poop. He will wake me up at 5 in the morning to watch TV if he has to poop. I know not everyone can do that but most folks have portable DVD players for their cars these days, that may work.
Good luck,
S.

L.- My daughter (who is now 10) had the exact same problem. Was doing great but would NEVER poop on the toilet. I would have to put a diaper on her but it was a major ordeal. She would get so constipated since she would hold it. Once I put a diaper or pull up on her, she would go stand next to the toilet or even behind the couch and strain and cry until she would finally go. I eventually had to put her on a special fiber juice that I ordered to help her go. After what seemed like a really long time, we had a breakthrough. I was at my moms house and she took my daughter to the bathroom and told her to try to "go poo poo on the potty like Pa Pa" and that was all it took. After she saw that she could do it once, she was fine after that and never needed a diaper again. Maybe you could have someone else like a grandparent or aunt or someone close to her (other than you) try it and maybe it will help! Good luck!

My daughter was the same way. She is now almost 16. Potty training was more of a struggle with her than my son. She would never poop in the toilet. She was about 21/2 or 3 and we finally had to bribe her. I know that sounds terrible but we tried many things unsuccessfully. She had a collection of Winnie the Pooh stuffed animals and she wanted to buy Rabbit. We told her that as soon as she was a big girl and pooped regularly on the toilet she could go to the disney store. It worked. She really wanted that stuffed animal.
If you don't want to bribe, yet, we did try to get her to relax on the toilet. While she sat there, she can read a book or sing songs. There is also the old adage, when she is ready she will, she won't always poop in her diaper. I know that doesn't help the frustration you are experiencing now. I can still vividly remember those times. It will get better.

My daughter was very afraid of pooping on the toilet.

I have a potty in the bathroom and one day when I KNEW she needed to go, I ran her to the bathroom and sat on the toilet while she sat on the potty. She was VERY upset and crying and telling me NOOOOO! So, I told her that we were going to both push the poopie out together. Then I made all sort of over exaggerated noises as I "pushed the poopie out." Next thing I knew she was yelling and grunting and making a bunch a noise too as we both pushed it out. Once she did it, she immediately jumped up and congratulated herself and I did the same w/ lots of horray's and good jobs, etc.

After that first hurdle, she was okay w/ the potty and bowel movements. To this day she still grunts and tells me that she is pushing the poopie out.

One other thing, I told her to tell that poopie to "Get out of there!" That's one of the things I used to encourage her to push it out.

I think all the noise etc. that I made distracted her from her fear a little which allowed her to relax just a little to make the bowel movement imminent whether she wanted to release or not.

I'm really big on the princess saving herself!

try rewarding her with a favorite candy if she goes pooop on the potty....like m&m's.....and if you get her on the potty once and she does it...clap and cheer for her

Just a funny potty story...
A couple was trying to potty-train their little boy and whenever he finally went potty on the toilet, they got SO excited and praised him and they called the the boy's grandparents to tell them about it. The next time that the boy saw the mom go to the bathroom, he said "Great Job, Mommy! Let's call Grandma and Grandpa!!"
TOO CUTE!!

WOW my daughter (now 5) had the same issue. I would make sure she is eating well enough to not be able to hold it, also look into getting a book that explains why you have to go to the bathroom. Explain that you eat food and your body absorbs the good stuff and then lets out the bad stuff. Make her feel comfortable as possible. Maybe even you can take her into the bathroom with you, when you go and show her its completely normal and that everyone does it. She may be embarrassed about it like mine was. My daughter when she goes now, she will come find me and be proud and she will want me to look at it and say "I went poopy, come see" with a big smile on her face. i know kinda gross but it works.

My eldest did this too- she's all the way potty trained (minus bedtime) and she still will occasionally have poopy accidents. This is what worked for us to have her poop in the potty more often. First of all, I realized for Bridgette it was a privacy issue- she wanted me to leave the room for her to poop. Another thing is that she had to relax- so I left a few books about using the potty for "inspiration". Thirdly, I had to immediately praise her for pooping in the potty- I give her a sticker and a small Reese's peanut butter cup for her reward. And fourth, when poop does happen, have them help clean up. Whether it is them helping wipe their bumms or helping wash out clothes if it leaks. The only time Bridgette has poopy accidents now is during nap/bedtime; but it's pretty rare (one maybe every other week). Good luck!

L.

Mommy of Bridgette 3.5 yrs; Anya 2.5 yrs; and Leilani 5 months old

When she is ready, she'll do it. It sounds like you have beend doing great. Consistancy is key, so keep it up. There will be one defining moment when she gets it, it will click, and then that will be that. But be patient, and just enjoy this whole process. Kids grow up so fast, and sometimes we wish the days, weeks, months, and years away wanting them to get through the next step in their growing up. Take time to enjoy this part of your childs life, and it will happen in due time. God Bless!

Hi L.,
With my first we talked about pushing the poop out of her body. One day she told me that was what she was going to do and she did it. Trained before she was three. My second was a little more challenging. I had to buy her a couple of reward toys that she really wanted (she was 3). She would get the small one when she went poop the first time then after going poop in the potty a week (or several days) she would get the more coveted toy. A stuffed Care bear worked for us. We also watch the video "The Potty Book". Fun song.
Good luck.

My son, Justin, was great at going pee starting at 2 years, but refused to go poo for the longest. I didn't pressure him because I didn't want to give him a complex. He wore pull-ups, so could pull them down himself to go pee. Finally, when he was 3 he just started going poo in the potty on his own. He started wearing underwear during the day & it was great for about a month & then he regressed & wouldn't do it anymore. A couple of months later he started going poo in the potty again & has been doing it consistently for a few months. Although we still put pull-ups on him at night, he rarely needs them. He wakes up and goes to the bathroom on his own & gets back in bed to sleep. Every child is so different. We were so worried, but when he was ready he did it. My recommendation is to continue to praise her for going pee in the potty & continue to encourage her to go poo, but don't stress yourself out about it. It will happen!

Unfortunately this is VERY common. Try getting a potty seat that fits over the regular toilet, that has handles. Sometimes its just a matter of that they are perched on the toilet to go, worried about falling in, etc. and that tenses things up back there and then its hard or painful to go. When they have the diaper on, they are usually sitting or laying down on the ground and playing so they are relaxed.
Just a thought.

Rest assured, she will do it when she is ready...which is very frustrating for a mom. Our Pediatrician told me, when my 3 year old would sit on the toilet for 30 first thing in teh morning and NOT PEE!, to not bring it up for an entire month. I suppose it relieves the child of the pressure. She obviously is kind of learning how to control her bowel movements otherwise, she wouldn't know how to hold it til bedtime/diaper time. She is only 2 1/2, relax, and don't let the pressure of other moms saying how old their child was when they were potty trained get to you. You're doing a great job and being a stay-at-home mom, I know your children are well loved. Good luck and hang in there.

Hello L.-
Don't put her in a diaper! If she waits for the diaper to poop, simply take that out of the equation. She sounds fully ready to be out of the diapers, so let her do it.

Or, do you have a potty seat that she could use temporarily again for pooping?

Don't force her about the toilet, just make it so she doesn't have the diaper choice and then you won't get into a power struggle with her over the toilet.

My daughter did this, too. I finally had a meltdown in the bathroom one day, yelling she knew what the potty was for, I wasn't going to change poopy pants anymore and she could stay in them until she got out of college, and why, why, wouldn't she poop in the potty???? She very calmly looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said,"Because I don't want to." My pediatrician gave me a pamphlet on toilet training resistance, you might ask yours for tips. I finally had her help change her baby brother's diaper and she thought it was 'scustin' (disgusting)and she didn't want to be a baby anymore. And I think she thought she won the battle when I lost it, so there was no reason to keep holding out and went nice as you please ever after. It's a control thing.

Congrats on her being successful w/going on the potty...I have 5 kids...and you are going through a normal process. The second step is the hardest.

I use to give my daughter 1 m and m for going pee pee in the potty and 2 if she went poop (pick her fave of course-lolipops work good too)

Dont force the issue...and it isnt that bad to go into a diaper...have you tried to put the poop in the potty and have her flush it (sounds weird), and say bye bye poopie?

Just a thought. And just be patient...it will come eventually all together for her.

R.

I had the same problem with my daughter, my solution was once I got her to go once she would go again, so in the morning I would give her oatmeal because I knew it would just be a short time before she had a bowel movement, so after she ate, I put her on the potty, entertained her and told her if she booboo's in the potty she could have a skittle [just one, no more then 2) so after that the ONLY time she could get a skittle would be if she booboo in the potty, no booboo, no skittle. It worked.

L. B, Get rid of the diapers. Pad the bed with an oil cloth or get mattress covers. Tell her she is a big girl and diapers are for babies. Do not give in and she will eventually use the pot. Do not fight with her, show her the pot and tell her no more diapers. C. H , RN.

Are you using a little potty? Some kids are afraid to push if sitting on the bit potty or perhaps uncomfortable. Just a thought. You could just put a pee-pee pad on the bed, take the diaper away and nap with her/ follow until the big moments and cheer her through it. A treat might help. Once the hurdle is over over, all may improve.

Best wishes.
S.

There's a great book, Once Upon a Potty, it might help. The most important part is to have a "party" when she does what you want...give her a big reward (like a call from Elmo or Santa Claus or whatever...lots of hugs and kisses)...most kids figure it out eventually...think about how little they get to control in their life, we tell them what to DO all the time...so sometimes I think it's just about holding onto some control....giving kids choices rather than direction is very helpful for the 2-3 year old stage (rather than, put on your shoes, do you want to wear your blue shoes or your red shoes?)

Good luck!

our daughter is now 4 1/2 and we had a similar issue. Pooping seems to be a much bigger psychological and physiological issue than peeing. Our daughter did poop on a frairly regular schedule in the evening, and she'd request a diaper. ( peeing no problem-already out of a diaper at night). She refused to sit down while pooping. So what we did, on the pediatricians advice, was to take the power struggle/control out of it. We did require that she poop in her diaper in the bathroom (door slightly ajar)-to get her used to this being the room for this and this being a private function. We would be near but not in the bathroom. We would praise her for using the potty for peeing.

Eventually, when our daughter was 3 1/2, ( could have done sooner, but waited for a preschool break )we made a plan for a week when we did not give her the diaper. We were very relaxed and did not fight about it, we just told her that it was time for her to use the potty. We asked her to pick what speical reward she would like for using the potty, and she picked a Belle princess doll.

We then went about 4 days with no poop. Yikes!!! We called our pediatrician for advice on a laxitive, and on the fifth day I was getting it ready when she went to the potty and pooped! We praised her and had a little celebration, and the next morning she received the doll. The potty has not been an issue since-with the exception a week this winter when she was constipated and it hurt to go-but this led to lots of good talks about nutrition and too much Christmas junk food. And of course lots of talk about just letting your body tell when its ready, and sitting on the potty and giving it a chance to see if its ready.

Good luck!

First, I agree with the other posters who say to take the diaper away. Don't lose your cool if she does poop in her pants at least once - she might test you, instead concentrate on how icky that must feel for her (and talk to her about how it makes her smell, etc.)

Second, I'll tell you what we did with my first DD who is now 4. It sounds ridiculous, but I saw it suggested on another board and it worked, so we used it - it might work for you.

The first time she pooped on the potty we congratulated her and let her flush the toilet (with help when needed). We told her that the poop was going to join the 'poopy party' and said Yay, etc as the poop swirled around and went down the drain. We did a bit of a jig too, lots of laughing going on as we 'celebrated' too. Because we made it fun/silly she was looking forward to pooping on the potty each time - she never had any fear of the process like I've seen and heard so many kids do. She also liked having the control of doing the flushing herself - we only let her flush if she actually did something in the potty.

Good luck!

Don't put a diaper on her. Throw them away and she can't rely on them. I had the same problem with my two oldest children and once I "got brave" they figured out that they had to go to the toilet.

My daughter took a while too to do poop in the bowl. Keep trying but don't force her, you certainly don't want this to be a bad thing for her. I bought some potty books for kids and sat in the bathroom and just read to her until she went. My daughter's BM's came like clockwork everyday so I basically put her on the bowl around the same time each morning and night. After just a few weeks, she was going on her own. Good luck!