Potty Training - Chugiak,AK

the only thing I've heard that worked in 2 days for my friend, is that she had her son wash his own poopy underwear in the sink for 2 days and then he said, "I want to go poop in the toilet now" :) It might work for you!

Okay, I am no expert, but my 2 1/2 year old has finally started going #2. We would empty his diaper into the toilet every time he would have a messy one. We would wave goodbye to it and flush the toilet. He also flushes the toilet after we go. I think that this has helped him understand that he is not going to loose a part of him if he does it on the toilet instead of his diaper. That is what I have read, that they don't understand where it is disappearing to. If the little dogs make a mess we flush that too, and say how yucky it is that they didn't go where they are supposed to go. However, the first time he went, he was telling me that he wanted me to leave him alone, so I hid around the corner. When I peeked into the bathroom, he was standing up on the toilet watching himself go number two in the mirror. When it splashed from up high he yelled I pooped!!! I then let him see me and we celebrated, and then talked about the dangers of standing up on the toilet. I also let him go without undies and he seems to remember to go every time, unlike when he is in undies. Good luck to you.

Good morning E.,

I have a 3 yr old daughter who is now potty trained and let me tell you, it took a couple of months for her to go #2 in the potty. What I did was just took the pull-ups away completely, even at night so that she wasn't confused. The first time she went #2 it scared her. I am still not sure why, so we just had her go #2 on her little potty chair and #1 on the big potty. It took a couple of messes for her to realize that she needed to go #2 on the potty and A LOT of talking to. I just kept explaining to her that it was gross to go in her pants and after about the 3rd time of that, she started going on the potty.

hope this helps.
Teresa

Have you tried a training toilet or just the regular sized toilet? For my son, we used a training toilet. Then, he could see the poop right after he went and it didn't make a splash/sound when it dropped in the water. That worked for him. Does your son go to daycare or preschool? The peer pressure there may help, too. It helped with our son. He would watch other kids go poop in the big toilet and want to go too.

A friend of mine told her son that #2 was going to go to a "poop party" in the toilet, so he had to let it out so it could go to the party. Silly? Yes. But it worked. Her son liked having his poop go to the party in the toilet. It was a happy thing for him.

Good luck!

My oldest was potty trained forever except for pooping. I talked to my pediatrician about it and she suggested that my girl might be constipated and it hurts to sit on the potty to go. It was easier to stand. We started her on a children's laxative and she was potty trained within a couple of weeks. It was prescribed by the pediatrician, so you should talk to your family doctor before doing this.

My son is 4 1/2 going on 5. I just recently got him potty trained. It wasn't easy. It takes a lot of time. One thing I did learn, don't use pull ups when you are at home. I know it gets messy, but it's part of the territory. (I have OCD...I can't stand messes!) Try regular undies...get the cheap kind if you have to. If it's in the summer, let him run around with nothing but his undies in the house. Also, watch his signs. I noticed my son usually had to go within 15 min to 1/2 hr after he ate/drink. Just keep praising. Start having a routine, that might help to. (I.E. Go potty when you get up, after you eat breakfast, leave the house...etc.) My son relapsed SEVERAL times since he was 2. I think you'll do fine. All moms have a knack for making it out of these situation alive and walk away with great stories to tell their kids when they get older. ;)

E.,
First and for most let me say this....You are a brave woman!!!! I only have one and goodness gracious, let's just say I'm done :O) NO MORE LOL but then again I am a single mom so that has a lot to do with me not wanting anymore. Ok so back to you :O)
Mine is also 3 about to turn 4 in May. I have a friend whom has been a childcare provider for over 12 years and she gave me some advice....At first it seem a little harsh for me, but it made sense AND it worked with my son.
Ok, so it goes a little like this. So I assume that you get majorly frustrated when you do all that you as a mommy can do to help him with this new going potty on the toilet adventure. And get extremely annoyed when he just doesn’t go or goes on his underwear. Well you can’t get mad at him for soiling his pants. However, you need to take the benefit away from him going on his pants. Just like when he goes pee on the toilet. You make a HUGE deal and congratulate him and applaud and just make it a big deal…..Well just the same when he soils himself. You should say something like “Oh (his name) you smell bad, phee ewww. Yuck you smell really bad. Oh my……..that’s bad. You know mommy doesn’t go on her pants there for she doesn’t smell, but you did and yuck” You know he’ll probably get mad and scream and say he doesn’t smell, but you keep it up and simply pick him up, put him in the tub and bathe him……..Now this is where it may seem harsh, make sure the water is luck warm…Not freezing cold, but defenatly not comfortable…Don’t make conversation with him except to tell him how bad his smells. No water play time, just in and out……You just simply clean him and out of there.
At first my friend told me this was going to be an ongoing thing for a period of two weeks. However, I added a little bit to it by not putting a towel around him right before taking him out of the bath, but actually let him stand there for a bit like a min or two…..I know, I know, I felt horrible but pretty much what you’re doing is having him experience and dealing with the consequence of his action.
Now, he knows you want him to go in the potty, yet he CHOOSES not to. It took a lot for me to understand that my son is actually smarter than what I was giving him credit for…..He was doing sort of like what your son is doing right now…The way it was explained to me is that my son was being lazy, he wouldn’t go because he didn’t want to stop playing and it was too inconvenient for him to have to walk “all the way” to the bathroom down the hall to pee…..And get this, he started peeing IN HIS ROOM just because he did not feel like going to the restroom.
Needless to say, I only did our “routine” twice and that was it!!!!!!! He started going on his own, by himself….He even tells me that he’s going. He ask me to take him, he just lets me know and runs to the restroom.
You have to be consistent and it may take a lot of your time and it will be a complete pain in the neck, but it gets better... You can add or take away from “the routine” as you feel comfortable with. Again, you have to be consistent with the routine, if he goes to daycare. Kids usually do better, behavioral wise, at other houses than at home with the parent. So just ask the provider to remind him every 45 mins or so if he has to go.
I know my provider HELP ME a lot.
Sorry for the “Novel” Hope my experience helps!!!!

I had a musical potty for my boy and would take him into the potty with me every time I went and make him sit on his potty. I assured him that it was natural and this is how big kids go potty. Just keep up consistent encouragement when he uses the potty. Let him wear underwear and experience the whole ordeal of soiling in his pants and "the clean up". Pack extra pants and undies and keep at it. It will come sooner than you think.
Good Luck

Hi! I had the exact same problem with my 3 year old daughter! I found that at that age the "fear" is also a control issue. I ended up staying home as much as possible for 2-3 weeks and she had to be bear bottomed. She wore dresses due to the fact that she has an older brother but, there was no way she would poop into mid air! After some struggle and only two incidents of having to pick it up and put it in the potty herself. She had done it! I know it sounds crazy but it was truly the ONLY thing that would work for her. Even though they may throw a fit about being naked...in the end it worked great! So it's something to think about! Every child is so different! Sometimes it's just hard to pin down what works for who!! Good Luck! And by the end of three boys...you'll be a pro!

One of our boys had Encopresis. The doctor told me that sometime during his early years, for whatever reasons, he felt he had to control his bowel movements. So he would hold them in. The doctor also told me that it is fairly common, usually in boys. It is really unhealthy for their bowels, so I would suggest a doctor visit. There are treatments.

Awesome advice from folks! One other thing (my boy is now eight) that really helped the potty training process was the flushable wipes. It didn't matter wich brand, we tried several, and found that cottonelle or pampers were the best in size and durability. Anyway, I don't know if it will help him to go on the toilet or potty, but once he is going, it sure helps w/ the clean up! And it made our son feel good, because he felt cleaner. He still asks us to buy them once in a while, as wiping after can often be difficult for small hands.

Hi E.,
Potty training can be very traumatic for kids. My first son was the same way. My second was the opposite. He would poop on the toilet but not pee. I remember what a struggle it was and how frustrated I felt. At five yrs old he would hold it all day and wait until he came home from school which was a 6 hr day. He would get so constipated that I had to get medical assistance which was painful for him and tearful for me. (laxatives & sopositories) My suggestion for you is to try a child potty chair that doesn't have water. The splash might be part of the problem. Another suggestion is a childs toilet seat that plays music and sits on the adult seat. We have purchased several at Lowe's, Target, Fred Meyer & Babys R Us.(Let him pick it out) The final suggestion is to place a layer of toilet paper on top of the water in the bowl so that when the poop does come out there isn't much noise and no splashing. If all else fails and you are too frustrated, go with a pull-up, let him poop in it, flush the poop and throw the pull-up away. He just may not be ready yet. Please, don't push him or it will get worse like with my older son. Constipation with a child is the worst thing you could possibly deal with.

E. --

There was a similar question a few days ago, with a lot of responses. Scroll down on the requests list and see if you can find it; some of those responses might help.

At least he is actually going #2 every day and hasn't progressed to the point of severe constipation. It sounds like his problem is with the potty, not actually going? You do have to be careful because if he starts holding it in in order to avoid the potty, this can lead to constipation, which will make him even more reluctant to go, because it hurts coming out. I have heard of lots of boys who prefer to go #2 in a diaper up to age 5. I thought it was a little overly indulgent that their mothers were giving them diapers specifically for pooping, but now they are in their teens and they aren't doing that any more! So somehow eventually they do make the transition. Pressuring children in this area, even unwittingly through reward systems, can really be emotionally traumatizing if they start to perceive that your love for them is contingent upon their performing adequately. I have some regrets about imposing my own timetable on my son. He is 8 and was still having problems earlier this year regarding his habit of holding and the ensuring constipation. So, you might want to consider backing off. Take a break of 3 months and then see how he feels about it. This is what I did with my daughter and it worked MUCH better. But each child is different.

put cherrios in the toilet and tell him to try and hit them.

Hey!
I think diapers are a big security blanket for kids, he obviously know when he has to go, he'll probably squat or disapear into another room, right? I would put him in undies and deal with the mess for 2 or 3 days, that is all it usually takes. Watch for the hints he gives out as well ie "pinching" holding his bum. He needs to know that it is ok to go poop as well as pee on the potty and that it is not ok to go anywhere else. If he has an accident in his drawers let him sit in it for 5 or 10 minutes before you put him the the bath, it should stop pretty quick. Be consistent, good luck!!

Hi - I dont know if this will help but I think they really have to be ready to do it on their own and make that decision to use the potty. I think that you should continue to do the rewards for using it. I have a 4 year old son and I am not sure how old he was when he started using the potty for poop but I still have struggles with him..he will use the potty but then not wipe, stuff like that. I would just try and relax about it a little and keep reinforcing that he needs to try using the potty for poop. You never know, maybe he is afraid he will get "flushed down the potty"...Good Luck!

I am in the same boat as you. My son has actually held it for 5 days and finally i gave in and put him in a diaper only for pooping. But he has to be in the bathroom to go. If you find something that works please let me know. I've tried the bribing thing too. My son will just cry on the potty or scream at the top of his lungs that he doesn't have to go. Everyting i've read on the subject says not to push the issue they'll go when their ready. But i know the wait is hard on us. Good luck.

Hi E. - you are not alone! I think the best thing right now is to take a bit of pressure off of him -- it seems like it is such a big deal....Honestly, this too shall pass...What I did with my lil guy who was afraid to go #2 in the potty he could go #2 in a diaper but he ahd to be in the bathroom, then after a few weeks he had to be sitting on the potty (with diaper on) after a few months (not days or weeks) he chose to go with the diaper (I think I probably used pull ups) He is in school now - all potty trained....

I have heard that some children are very sensitive to going potty as they are afraid that it is part of them that they are "losing." Perhaps a talk with your son about what poop is (something that bodies don't need and have to get rid of etc...) might help.

My boys hated to be dirty. So they always came to me with dirty dipers. Then when potty training came along it was big boy time. I had them clean themselves up after a dirty diaper and they quickly decided that the toilet was much cleaner and easier to wipe that the smeared up diaper mess. The new i can do it wipes are great.

My son is 7 and still waits too long to go poop. I think he is just interested in what he is doing and doesn't want to go. But when he was little (2 or 3, I forget) he didn't want to be potty trained for #2 either. I finally figured out that he would go off and hide to do it, so I watched for when he was quiet then took him and put him on the toilet. He finally got the idea, but, like I said, now he waits too long, almost every day. I don't get it either, except that I was that way with peeing when I was little. I didn't want to stop playing to go potty, so would have accidents.

I want to know how you get them to wipe themselves. At 7, we are still wiping him. We bought him some wipes to use, but he gets so grossed out over it, gagging, and I'm afraid he's actually going to throw up. So I'm right there in the poop boat with you!!

Hi E.,

I have a 4 year old whowillhold it for days, used to hold it for a week. I'mnot sure what he's afraid of,but a lot of people have told me it just takes longer with boys.Our doctor says we have to be really careful because our actions can make it worse. The advice we were given was to let him have a "brave toy," something he gets to hold while he's on the potty trying to go. Two, maybe offer a pillow to squeeze while he's going. Third, get really excited when he goes (even in a diaper- that's better than holding it, right?). ANd don't be worried about going backwards, back to diapers. Forcing it or scaring them will only make the behavior increase. You can give him magnesium citrate, this is a stool softener, if he starts holding it for days. Good luck!