Potty Trainiing: Successfully Trained 3, Why Can't I Train My 4Th?

As a mom of ten, I would certainly say you are right, there is no power struggle, your little daughter is the boss, pure and simple. She calls all the shots. You are the servant running around behind her cleaning up after her.
The first thing I would do is take back the authority as a parent, and tell her she has to wear clothes. Period. Simply do not allow her to take her clothes off. I don't know what kind of discipline you use, personally, she would get a swat for taking her clothes off if she were mine. This would not be optional. Even if her shirt had to go on backwards so she couldn't unbutton it, she would wear clothes. That's what decent people do. You want to train her to be decent, right?
Then, decide whether you want to fight the potty training battle now, or wait until she is a bit older. Either way, she wears what you tell her to wear - be it panties or diapers or pull ups. Then, tell her you will not get her up at night or in public to go to the restroom unless she proves she can do it by going at home. If she has gone in her pants all day, then she may not get up at night to go the potty. Sorry. She has not earned the priviledge of using that excuse to get out of bed if she has not pottied in the potty chair all day.
You have a lot of very young children, I know exactly how that is. Sometimes your brain can get a little foggy and you don't see things as they really are. This little lady of yours is holding all the cards. Imagine, she is running around naked, making terrible messes on the floor, laughing and smiling at you while refusing to go to the potty, and you are allowing it. Not only allowing it, but cleaning up her messes. Be the parent. Stop this today. Take back the power. Again, maybe you should just forget potty training for a month or two while you reteach her and yourself who is the authority in your home. This is a God given authority, and you are supposed to be the one who makes decisions like this. She's only two, teach her NOW, or you will have a world of trouble in about ten years.

Hi J.--

sounds to me like your little one just wants attention and has figured out the best way to get it! I would keep ignoring her. forget about potty training for now. I would tape her diaper to her and let her sit in soiled for a few minutes. Just enough to make her uncomfortable. and try some reverse pychology. Put away her training potty and tell her babies wear diaper-which is what she is-and when she grows into a big girl she'll get to use the big girl potty. I'm sure she'll try to prove you wrong. Enlist the help of your older girls and set up a chart with all their names, except hers, and add stickers to the chart. when they reach a certain # of stickers treat them with something your 2 YO would love and let her watch. It may sound mean, but remind her when she grows into a big girl, she can do the same thing. When she's ready to prove you wrong, give her the same treatment. But, if she does succeed in removing her taped diaper and goes on the floor, I'd put her in time out (or use whatever discipline method you deem appropriate), then have her clean up. When you are out in public and she wants to go the bathroom, remind her she's a baby and babies go in their diapers; same for bedtime.

Good luck!

I would have her help clean up the mess. Maybe if she has to clean up her own urine or poop, she won't continue this behavior.

What is it about 4th kids?? Mine is only 16 months and I can tell, she is going to be a fire cracker!It sounds like she wants more control...dont they all!! But, I agree with making her clean up every time. And, what if you did those little potty seats. Quite frankly, I have always said no to those chairs..I dont want my kids peeing in the living room, or having to deal with a real toilet in public! Tha said, however, maybe if you had a few in more accessible places, and told her that she could go when she wanted, put a treat bucket out for her to see (My sister just did a gimball machine filled with m&m's and her son LOVES it!!), and then make her clean up any messes. Also, one thing that helps me alot of times, is if I cant get one of my youngest to do something..I send in my oldest daughter. She is 8, so a bit older than yours, but she can get to the kids in a way that I cant sometimes! Enlist everyone's help! And, if all that fails..duct tape may be in order! Maybe if you tape her diapers on her, she will hate that more than going in the potty!! Ahh, good luck to you, I feel your pain! And, I am due with number 5, so I will have 5 under 9 (no twins for me:) ~A.~

I've heard of some people making their kids clean up those kind of messes, but she is a bit younger than their kiddos so that probably won't fly. Have you tried taking away toys/privileges when she strips down or potties on the floor?? You need to find her currency. She doesn't sound ready to train just yet as she won't sit on the potty. It seems like she may just be trying to control the situation. Maybe give her a choice of potties to use (little one versus the normal one with a potty ring??) Just some thoughts. Best of luck to you!