Potty Frustration

My daughter did the same thing. I had to completely back off and she didn't take long to use the potty for poop shortly thereafter. She went when she was ready and not for me. It will happen.

B., this is a really common problem. The urgency you feel to get your daughter fully trained is backfiring. Emotionally and physically, this is a big step for your little girl. She legitimately needs the emotional space to decide for herself when she's ready, but there's no way she can tell you that. She will do it when the time is right for her, and that could be next month or next year.

I agree with the moms who suggest you back off on the pressure. Scolding and punishment will only make things worse. If you create anxiety and resistance in your daughter, the very serious condition called encopresis can result. Then it becomes a medical problem.

Pooping in a toilet is the 2nd stage of toilet "training."
The 1st being peeing in a toilet,
And the last "stage" being night-time dryness... which can take until even 7 years old to fully attain ability.

Pooping is OFTEN like this. She will do it when she is ready.
If forced...the child can get a hang-up about it, and then Constipation can occur. You do NOT want that to happen... it can cause bowel problems and the harder the poop gets, from constipation, the more difficult it will be for the child to expel it... and it will hurt. Then they won't want to poop at all, and they will withhold it. NOT good.

When my daughter was that age, although we did not 'force' her to poop in a toilet, she got bad constipation. We had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist. HE said, that kids at this age, OFTEN have this problem... that pooping in a toilet should not be forced. They will do it when ready. My daughter, had pain as a result, which caused a vicious cycle in her not wanting to poop, then the BM gets harder and harder... and it can cause problems internally. So we had to treat her with things the Doctor prescribed. HE said that pooping in a toilet is 2 fold- biological and emotional. If emotionally the child finds pooping to be painful or uncomfortable or a stress.... it will not help matters. Even if "biologically" they need to poop. HE said children can start to withhold their BM... and then this causes a host of other problems. ie: Encopresis.

Moral is: she will do it when ready. Once the vicious cycle of Constipation begins, it is hard to the child to overcome it. Pressuring the child will not help, nor rewards.

All the best,
Susan

I am going through the same thing with my almost 4 year old son. He's been peeing in the potty for 6 months. But he goes and puts on a pull up when he has to poop. I keep the pullups for night time use. We tried taking the pull ups away from him and so he held his poop for days-he refused to go on the toilet(we kept putting him on the toilet for long periods of time hoping he would poop! We felt that we were only making it worse so we let him have the pull ups back. We figure that when he is ready, he will go on his own. Forcing and threatning doesn't work! I just keep talking to him about it and telling him someday he'll be a "big boy" and go poopy in the potty but I'm not forcing the issue. Good luck!

I say she's not ready and don't force it, she'll come around. My daughter was the same way and I gave up and one day miraculously she was potty-trained. Or maybe it hurts when she does poop. Give her foods that will soften it so it won't hurt as much.

she is just not ready. talk to her (no frustration, not even a sign of it) tell her that you understand and that there is no hurry and that in meantime she can wear pull-ups. leave it at that. she will want to be potty trained when she is ready. if she has experienced any signs of frustration which has caused her to get constipated then i say leave it be for next 6 months. she needs to completely forget the 'now' for her to be able to go back to it eventually.

My son was a poop holder. He had learned to pee in the potty at 25 months but would not poop. He held it for 2 days if that is what it took to get a pull up. At one point he did not go in the pull up because he knew it was not the right place but still did not go in the potty when he took off the pull up. This was absolutely frustrating. We kept telling him that if he did he would get 2 m & ms as oppossed to one when he peed. We kept reminding him that poop goes in the potty. One day we took the poop from the pull up and put in the grown up potty. Told him to tell it bye bye and flush. The next day he sat on the potty and pooped and said bye bye poop...
So i think she will go when she is ready. Just have to keep reminding her.

my daughter is 3 & 1/2. will NOT poop on the potty. PeePee trained for 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good luck. I've tried everything.
Look for my other post titled " 3 & 1/2 yr old will not poop on the potty" a few days ago. I got alot of good suggestions.
nothing has worked yet.

I'm sorry. I know this can be so frustrating! But, showing your daughter ANY signs of this frustration just sets a power struggle into place. Remain neutral and matter-of-fact. Keep dressing her in underwear and have her change herself and help clean the mess when it happens. It's important to give her responsibility, rather than forcing shame upon her. Also, pay attention to her diet and really focus on providing non-constipating food for a month or so. Extra water will help too! You can find more tips <a href="http://www.childperspective.com/2009/02/toilet-training-r....

Have her do as many steps of the cleanup as is at all possible. Have her dump the poop in the commode and then proceed to clean herself, her panties, clothes, etc -- whatever YOU would do. Make it HER responsibility. She's trying to keep it YOUR responsibility, and it's demeaning to both of you. Enable her to be self-sufficient in this matter!