I worked with preschooler for many years, before I became an au pair coordinator. This is what I gave my families when they began potty training. I hope it helps you.
Congratulations on entering the wonderful world of potty training! Before you begin, it is important to be committed to the process. Switching back and forth between diapers and underwear because it is convenient for the parents can be confusing for the child. Children are able to sense when their parents are not ready for them to move on to the next stage of development. It is natural for parents to feel a little sad to see their little one growing up, and children are often apprehensive or scared about leaving the baby stage. During this time, it is essential that parents communicate regularly with their child. It is important to reassure the child that they are loved and cherished as a “big kid” just as much as when they were a baby.
Before you begin the potty training process, there are some preliminary actions that you can take which will help the process go more smoothly. First, it is helpful to begin phasing out “baby” items. This means replacing the crib with a “big kid” bed, transitioning away from all baby bottles or nursing, and giving away baby clothes. As much as possible, treat your child like a “big boy or girl”. Let him/her walk instead of being carried, encourage chores, such as setting the table, making their bed, putting away laundry, and anything else that makes the child feel like he/she is being a helper or “big kid”. It can be difficult to potty train a child when there are mixed messages from the parents. Children understand that potty training is for big kids, and if the child is still being treated like a baby, they will become confused or fearful to move on.
Next, you are ready to begin the process of potty training. The first task is to master independent dressing. If a child is unable to pull up their own pants, they are unable to be potty trained independently. Begin by working on the names of clothing items. Direct your child to help in the process of gathering items needed to dress each day from the dresser/closet. Name the items of clothing as you lay them out and the child dresses. Begin teaching the child how to pull pants up and down, how to put on a shirt, etc. If it is difficult for your child, help them by putting the clothing item on part of the way and then encourage them to complete the process. Be sure to stay calm and let your child know that you know they can do it and you are proud of them for their efforts. When he/she is able to successfully put on clothes independently, step back and allow them to dress themselves. Praise them for their success!
It is essential that you buy appropriate clothing. This means no baby rompers, no onsies that button at the crotch or in the back, and no overalls. Although these look cute, they are too difficult for your child to take on and off and will make the process of potty training more frustrating. Elastic pull-on shorts, pants, bike shorts, or dresses, make the process much easier for your child. It is also important to provide cute/cool underwear. Let your child be part of the process of buying their underwear. Let them choose underwear printed with their favorite characters, such as: Spiderman, Belle, Dora, Batman, whatever they like. Purchase a big stack of underwear – the cuter, the better. This process will help generate pride in their underwear and they will be less likely to want to soil their favorite character.
Once you have decided the time is right, transition to underwear. The most effective and quickest road to complete potty training is to eliminate diapers. If the parent assures the child they are “big” one day and puts them in diapers the next, this creates confusion for the child. Take a deep breath, assure your child, and just do it. Be sure to take your child to the bathroom regularly. They have not formed the habit yet, so you need to remind them. Some parents find it easier to set a timer to help them remember to use the bathroom. As your child has success, you can lengthen the time between sittings.
If you have any questions, just ask and I would be happy to help you!
Happy training!