M.K.
Hi V.! Your daughter sounds completely normal! They are all so different when it comes to potty training....I've got 7 and the last one is a 23 month old boy who is just starting to show interest in the potty to be like his 4 yr. old sister. Without a role model in the house, you might want to get a tape for guidance....we always used the "It's Potty Time" Super Dooper Potty Pooper tape by Duke University....it's really subtle but a fantastic tape and it might help her relax more about giving up her poop to the potty and get more excited about not having an accident. I think the most important thing is not to instill the "bad girl" feeling when the accidents happen.....if she is a very busy little girl, she honestly may get so involved in her activity that she forgets until it's too late. My 4 yr old was like that and it was aggravating as all get out because she DID have a lot of accidents and she was/is so smart, we "expected more from her," lol! I stay at home so spend a lot of time doing arts and crafts with them which they love.....when she would have the accidents, I would make a big deal out of the time it took to clean it up and do the laundry and explain to her that we wouldn't be able to do "X" activity because Mommy didn't have time since I had to use it cleaning from the accident....she caught on pretty quick and we got past that.....we did try making her stay in the wet panties a while, sending her to time out, giving her jelly beans when she did go in the potty, I could go on and on....we tried many different things with each child but always came back to the fact that patience and consistency without major negativity ended up working best in the end. They will all "get it" when they're finally ready and it's a pain to have someone tell you that, especially when you're at your wits end and ready to try anything....but I think it's truly a control issue with them and they are learning they are in charge of something and based on what they do, different things will happen, so you've just gotta go slow and figure out what works for her. My now 17 yr old son, Matthew, was a little over 3 1/2 and we had gone through everything with him and he still wouldn't go potty consistently....one afternoon he told me he wanted to be called Matt.....his Dad and I told him that Matt was a big boy name and that since he didn't go potty, we couldn't call him that......he started going potty the next day and NEVER had an accident afterward, lol! It gets frustrating but it's one of the first things that we as parents can't make happen on our own....hang in there....she'll get there! That potty pooper tape really is cute and I looked it up on ebay and googled it if you're interested.....
http://www.itspottytime.com/pottytrainingprogram-1.aspx
http://desc.shop.ebay.com/i.html?LH_TitleDesc=1&_kw=i...
http://www.itspottytime.com/pottytrainingprogram-1.aspx
Take care and good luck:) M.