Potting Training My Stubborn 3 Year Old

Updated on January 10, 2009
A.C. asks from Milwaukee, WI
5 answers

My daughter just turned 3 a few weeks ago and potty training has really been frustrating me. About 10 months ago, she was actually doing really well and going poop and pee in the potty...but then she just stopped (she wasn't wearing underwear yet)...and then had no interest for quite a while...well then about 7 months ago, we made another attempt and just flat out put her in underwear, and she went potty a few times in the potty but mostly in her underwear and she just didn't seem to be getting it...she ended up refusing to go on the potty at all and was screaming at us...so we decided to just stop because forcing her wasn't going to get us anywhere...and she went back to diapers. Well now...she will occassionally ask to go on the potty and we ask her every day a few times...and try to at times when she'll be able to go but she never ends up going...we try to bribe her with treats she likes, which seem to work for getting her to sit on the potty, but only for awhile and then just doesn't seem to care. So I really don't know what to do...her doctor says not to push her and I'm trying not to...but she alot of times tells us when she's wet or peeing or pooping in her diaper, and I tell her she should tells us when she needs to so she can go on the potty next time. She's even been potty training one of her stuffed animals to go on the potty and then after he's gone a bunch of times he gets to wear underwear and she knows that's true for her too...she just doesn't seem motivated enough. So any advice would be helpful...thanks.

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T.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

With my son, we had this too. he would go in the potty for a while and then start wetting again but could tell us when he was having an accident.

I finally took some advice from my coworkers. My husband went to Poland for 2 weeks so we had him out of daycare for that time and at home. We put him in underwear with plastic pants over top of them for the whole 2 weeks except we used pull ups at bed and nap. He would get a sticker every time he went potty and we would make a BIG BIG deal over how many stickers he would get. We wouldn't 'punish' him by taking any away if he had an accident but would tell him accidents happen please tell mommy/ granny/ or grandpa next time you have to go.

I had A LOT of underwear to wash for those 2 weeks. He wasn't good at peeing in the potty with the grandparents but when I was home with him he did better. Then on easter it finally 'clicked' and he was potty trained.

We have had some regression and accidents but it seemed to work. We had a lot of time put in with him before this also but it seemed since he was home for 2 weeks it was the perfect time to work on it. If you have the time and energy to do this it may work. We really didn't take him out anywhere during htis time either.

Here's another one- don't know if it works or not- never tried

My aunt's MIL who runs a daycare trained her daughter in one day. She puts the child in underwear and on a bare floor (no carpet or rugs- usually in the kitchen). The child 'practices' all day going in the potty (on the floor by them). It seemed to work for her but I didn't think this would work for my son.

Everyone has a different way to do it and you have to see waht works for your child. Don't push too hard but it sounds like she is getting close. You are just waiting for the 'click' stickers worked for us and making a HUGE deal out of it every time he went and trying not to react when he had an accident.

Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

Our son also went back and forth with the training at first. The two most important things are 1:be consistant. I would get rid of the diapers (except at bedtime). She will have accidents at first, but once it clicks (and it will), I think she will be potty trained. It sounds like she is ready. #2:Don't get angry or frustrated when she has an accident. They pick up on our emotions more than we realize and it will set her back. Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm sorry to say that I don't have any advice for you, but I am right there with you :( My daughter also turned 3 a couple of weeks ago and is refusing to train. She was doing great about 6 months ago and then we started having trouble with constipation so the ped. put her on Miralax and we went back to diapers. I just had her 3 month appt. a couple of days ago and the dr. recommended just letting her decide when she was ready to potty train. She said that her bowel health was more important than if she was still in diapers. I'm sort of frustrated, but willing to keep her in diapers if that is what needs to happen to help the constipation. I'm looking forward to the other responses that you get.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think often we (myself included) are frustrated because of what we want and our expectations. In addition to physical readiness, our kids also need to be emotionally ready. As hard as it is to do this, I've decided not to push. It's one area our kids who are physically ready have control...and forcing our control on them isn't going to help them. So, I guess I agree with the pediatrician saying not to push. There will come a day when they will want it.

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C.M.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

I feel your pain. My son is at the same point. He turned 3 December 1 and we had been doing reasonably well potty training a few months ago. He started to refuse so we stopped all together. Now we can't get him to go at all on the potty. He shows no interest. Plus, he's growing out of his #6 diapers and we had to buy the expensive #7's for bedtime!
I know it's frustrating and I am glad to know we aren't the only ones. Good luck.

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