Postpartum Depression - Dearborn,MI

Hi A.,

What city are you in? I can direct you to a Postpartum depression support group. It is great that you recognize this and are asking for help. Many new moms suffer with this but are afraid to ask for help. Being a new moms is stressful enough but it sounds like you have alot of additional factors adding on to that.

J.

Hi A.-
I'm a postpartum doula, and I think that it's wonderful and very self-aware that you're reaching out. Postpartum depression is very real, and very easy to cure. Please seek out some sort of therapist that focuses on the postpartum period. I'd be more than happy to give you names of therapists, but I don't know specifically where you're located. Please send me a private message if you need help finding one.

Just in case you're located in the Metro Detroit area, here are some great resources:

There is an organization out of St. Clair Shores called Tree of Hope that has 5 postpartum depression support groups that meet in Rochester Hills, Clawson, West Bloomfield, Commerce Twp., and St. Clair Shores. You can contact them at (877) HOPE 311, or at www.treeofhopefoundation.org.

Also, located in downtown Rochester is the Mental Fitness Center ###-###-####. It is a beautiful office that caters specifically to women, and provides support to families during all stages of life. I don't know if they have any postpartum support groups right now, but they will definitely be able to provide you counseling and point you in the right direction toward more support.

Again, please contact me if you're having trouble finding help. I have lots of ways to find any sort of postpartum help!

Edited to add:
I looked at your profile and noticed you are located in Dearborn, so here are a few more resources:

Lifestart Counseling in Farmington Hills ###-###-#### or ###-###-#### or ____@____.com

Melisa Schuster is a therapist based out of Ann Arbor. Her number is ###-###-####. I've met her and she's a wonderful therapist and will have more resources if you need them.

Also, go to www.center4cby.com, click on the "For Parents" page, and down at the bottom left is a HUGE PDF file containing resources for postpartum depression all over SE Michigan. There are many many options in Wayne County that I haven't listed here that are available in the PDF file. The Center for the Childbearing Year is located in Ann Arbor, and if you're still not having luck finding someone, contact them and they will be able to help! Good luck!

First off, this is a serious deal for you. If you have not called your doctor.. you need to do so. Your doctor will be able to get you into the support groups in your area, too. Also depending on the severity, if you need to go onto a medication...he/she will know.

Secondly, stress is a killer in our lives and it affects everyone...even the tiniest baby in their own way! I do know the only natural way through massage and there are some oils that help to elevate the hormone levels and your mood. This would also help you with your exam coming up. I know you mentioned not working... I know for myself I offer some great discounts and sometimes I look for volunteers for my sessions. I would be happy to help you out if you contact me off the board for one of my sessions I am working on. If it can help you feel any better, I would feel better as PPD is pretty serious in my book. We could always work something out if you are uncomfortable with the free deal...

Most importantly... breathe! Just be. Remember you may not perfect, even if you want to be. You will get there and you will be a Superhero to your daughter no matter what you are going through at any time in your life!

A.,

First let me say how truly sorry I am about the loss of your parents. I couldn't imagine how hard this must be for you to go through this without them. Somehow, you get by. I'll be praying for you.

Second, I do understand about postpardom depression. It's HORRIBLE. I went through it all. About 3 months into my pregancy I lost my job. Started adjusting to a new job and 5 months into my pregnancy, my husband and I woke up and realized we were in bad credit card debt. I wont get into how bad thing got between us, because that could be a whole nother post on here, but I'll say that our marriage suffered a blow. I was stressed beyond comprehention knowing all that we were going through and we were having our first child.

After he was born, things just got harder. He was extremely colicky baby. He cried day and night. He had horrible allergies to formula and we ended up having to put him on a special kind that cost us 26$ every 2 days to feed him this formula. we were BROKE. It was supposed to be a happy time, but the overwhelming stress of money, motherhood, and marital problems did not help a bit.

big mistake I made was that i never told my doctor. I never thought I had postpardom depression. And I certainly did not want to be put on meds because I didn't want a "fake sense of happiness" is what i called it. Gosh, if I could turn back time I would've taken the meds in a heartbeat. It took me almost 2 1/2 years after he was born to finally concince myself I needed help. I went on zoloft and was on them for 8 months and now I'm fine.

Infact everything is pretty good now. We hit our rough patch like all married couples do. But like you, my husband and I had a fantastic relationship. People would always comment on how happy we were and wish they had that. But we hit a rock. We chipped away at the rock little by little and now it's better.

If i were you though, I would tell your doctor how you've been feeling lately. To either up the meds, or go talk to a therapist. You are dealing with a very hard situation with the loss of your mom and dad. Hang in there A.. god gets us through somehow.

A.,
I am so glad that you reached out as I can only imagine that was difficult. I can certainly relate in many ways. I have a 2 1/2 yr old son and almost 9 yr old daughter and just finished grad school in May after going for two years. I just started working about 5 weeks ago after being on one income for the better part of ten years.

By the time I finished school we had used pretty much every resource we had and were horribly (and still are)in debt. I did not suffer depression after my son but did after my daughter.

But I do understand the financial fears and the pressures of school and new baby. (I was in under grad school full-time when I had my daughter). I am definetly a supporter of medication and suggest you increase it with your doctor as well as try to see a therapist as some others suggested.

Another suggestion would be to utilize all the help you can get from family and try to "swap" kids with friends so that you can have a break sometimes.

As far as balancing school, you can and WILL manage it. Some things that helped me get through were:
1. let go of my perfectionism and accept that I did not have to get an A on every paper, test etc.-that I just had to pass my classes or get a B in my degree specific ones and that I would earn my degree. In the end, I did well anyways, but taking that pressure off myself helped me to not be so stressed.
2. Also, I did all my homework when the kids went to bed and took a library day when I really needed to while my husband stayed home with the kids. Your schedule may vary becuase your daughter is so young, but you will find the time to study.
3. Do what you can and forget about the rest. I really had to work on accepting that life was going to be busy and the house wouldn't be up to par but that I could only do so much. Family and school were the priorities.
4. Talk to friends who will listen and support you. I did lots of crying and talking along the way in school and survived it even though there were rough patches.

I don't know what your faith is but personally, I prayed a lot for the strength to get through and feel that God took care of me and helped me through and am stronger becasue of it.

Lastly, FORGIVE yourself for being impatient with your husband and just know that having a child is a very wonderul but stressful experience and even the strongest couples will have to adjust and there will be a strain for a little while. It sounds like you have a strong realtionship and will work through it. Work together and communicate your feelings and fears and it will work out fine.

I would be happy to talk with you via phone or e-mail if you are open to that. If you are interested, email me personally and I will respond.

Take care,
M.

HI A.
I'm hoping you feel better just by the act of reaching out, and receiving validation. I had ppd for 3 long years. My request for help was shot down, and I crashed big time after that. I wish I had used herbal tea, natural foods,and exercise to help balance my body, it's such a chemical roller coaster. Exercise helps boost happy brain chemicals. 15 min of sunlight converts into vit D in the body. Omega 3,6,9 are needed for good brain function. Try to be gentile with your thoughts of yourself, by changing negative thought patterns for positive ones. Even if you need to make a happy mama mantra, you can do it silently :) Play music that makes you feel happy, dance. Tell your new baby stories of when you were little, all the fun stuff. Maybe write them down and make a book later! Babies learn verbal patterns and truly benefit from being spoken to early. My daughter is always asking, Tell me a story when you were little. Yoga is great for calming the mind, you can use your baby as a weight. And be more able to tote her along for the ride. And really focus on good foods while your stressed. Lots of veggies, greens and more greens. I make a drink for breakfast in the blender.

1/4 c raw cashews
1 c water
blend up
1/2 bag organic spinach (high pesticide crop)
blend smooth
1/2 c frozen blue berries
1/2 c frozen organic strawberries (high pesticide crop)
1 banana
a bit of rice milk, organic soy milk, or more water to thin as needed in blending.

You get a great start w/ antioxidants, potassium, calcium, healthy fat & protine, and more than I can remember.

Good luck! A. H

Okay, I nearly cried reading that. If you aren't already seeing a counselor, you should consider someone so you can get your thoughts out of your head and into the world with a person that's educated in mental health. Your husband and baby need you to have that, too. It sounds to me like anxiety, not just depression. I'm 48 and have dealt with these issues my whole adult life. Not just mine, but my dad and brothers, too. My mantra is: This too shall pass. I have to repeat that to myself constantly. History has proven me right. No sadness, anger or happiness lasts forever. Life is truly about what's in between those emotions, and about being able to create what you need. I want more of the joy, but thats life. Your hormones are in control right now and you'll feel better if you study that fact and understand it. There is no "getting better" at least not forever. The circumstances in your life influence you, but you are you, and you have emotional challenges, like some people have red hair or athletic abilities. Sounds to me like you're very self aware and I believe thats going to keep you on the right path to self-love. I'm sure there are support groups and a psychologist will be able to get you in the right one. I should tell you, I've never been able to get myself to a counselor, so my advise may be weakened by that fact. I read and self analyze, and did some seminars on self awareness when I was about your age. Those were really the most effective thing I ever did and I've never forgotten what I learned there. Lastly, if you can find a good Yoga instructor, I highly recommend it. The connection between mind and body is so powerful. Here's a cyber hug from me... just one of many, many people who suffer like you. You're never lonely when you love yourself.