Possibly Odd Question Concerning My Ex Husband

Ah Facebook. So cool, and yet can be so terrible at the same time! You are probably more emotional because of the pregnancy, so chalk it up to that and un-friend her. She probably won't even notice you did.

I agree with some posters that some people have absolutely NO tact about who they friend on Facebook. It's so weird to me that people I had nothing to do with in High School keep wanting to be my "friend" on Facebook. I have ignored so many requests it makes me feel like a snob, but I really don't want to share my life with many of those people.

Un-friend her. Try not to think about it and go shop for baby clothes :) Make a little list of baby and kid related projects and get busy. It's totally normal to have emotions, so have them, release them and be happy. You deserve it.

J.

DELETE her now and forget it all happened you are happy and have two wonderful kids so just look at that and go forward don't look or dwell in the past or what could have been!!

I think that you might be assuming to much? You said she friended you a year ago...and that is when you asked her about your ex....then 2 days ago you saw her new pic w/him....maybe you asking about him is what led to her re-connecting to him and she didn't lie to you at all? Just a thought. She might not have thought about him in a long while til you asked and then she had him on her mind and went and searched him out and things progressed from there? You never know...

I think your feelings are valid, but no need to wallow in them. First loves are always special and I am sure there will always be a place in your heart for him...even if it is hurt and angry.

Wishing you all the best

1.Un-friend her immediately from FB, showing her that you could care less.
2.And give your husband a big kiss tonight when he gets home!!! :)
3.And remember all of the reasons your not with your ex, and breathe a sigh of relief that you're life is better now.

I'm sorry, that sucks. Maybe it wasn't intentional, though, since she friended you a year ago on FB. Who knows what's going on with that situation, but you could always "hide" her on FB so you don't see her posts, or just go ahead and "unfriend" her. I've done it, and no notice is sent to the person you deleted, just an fyi.

On to your feelings ... hey, most of us have them for former loves, especially the first. The heart always remembers, even though the mind may not want to. If it were me, I'd delete her on FB and immerse yourself in your family. Schedule a romantic date night with your husband and move the past back to the corner of your mind. Very best of luck to you.

I think there will always be bitterness, anger, etc. it'll just get very small and not matter much. Maybe write a letter to him/her/them and get it ALL out. then shred or burn the letter once you've purged yourself of all that stuff.

re. the Facebook thing, people tend to connect with everyone they know that they didn't have a negative relationship with. So it's possible she friended you because she found you. Then hooked up with him after that (obviously showing a lack of judgement LOL). It's been so long, there's no reason to "rub it in your face." It's a sensitive issue for you but I wouldn't take it personally at all. Just unfriend her if you don't want to deal with it.

You're perfectly normal - we don't have emotional amnesia after breakups, so the feelings don't disappear; they just don't matter after a while.

Ummmm, if he said he'd love you forever and then he left you, then he's a piece of scum and never deserved you in the first place. This should be all you need to know. Since you don't have any kids with him, let this concept turn your leftover feelings for him into contempt and move on. Obviously unfriend the girl. You have to sever all possible ties if you're ever going to manage to sever the heartstrings. You sound like you have a fantastic life, you have nothing to regret, especially since you didn't do anything, he did. You can only regret something that you yourself actually did. Every time you think about this situation, tell yourself that he's the one that should have regrets, pity him and look around at how great your life is and how full it is of beautiful, deserving people that love you.

It is normal to have these feeling resurface. There are a lot of feelings that were surpressed when your ex first left you. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, acknowlege them, then move on. It doesn't mean you want your ex back, it just means that you were hurt and those hurts were very real to you. It is possible to be healed forever and it's okay to remember those hurts. You weren't expecting this so it kind of snuck up on you. You can "hide" this girl or even delete her as a friend. No harm, no foul... just moving on just like he did. Congratulations on your family! Good luck to you!

Dear R.,
Un-friend them on facebook.
I'm not trying to make light of your feelings, but you are pregnant and you might be feeling more emotional about this than you normally would.
It sounds like your ex betrayed you by leaving and this woman betrayed you by wanting to be "friends".
That's their drama now.
It doesn't have to be yours.
You know, the thing about first loves is that they often don't end up being your TRUE love. Statistically, it just doesn't usually work out as a forever thing, sad to say.
You have a new family now. You are happy. Your husband has given you things your first love wasn't capable of. You have gotten the better end of the deal!
Never doubt that.

To cheer you up, I will tell you about a friend request I got from a guy I went to high school with. He was a senior when I was a freshman. My parents knew him, he was the cousin of one of my best friends so he was very much part of my life. I hadn't heard from him in ages so I accepted him as a friend and didn't think anything of it until the next day when I wanted to send a personal message.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw his pictures that he posted.
He's 51 years old, spread eagle in a g-string holding a guitar because apparently he thinks he's a sex god rock star of some sort.
I am not a facebook expert, but I called a friend to ask how to get him deleted before any of my family members saw any of that and had a coronary.
I could not get him deleted fast enough!
Un-friend them. Go on with your happy life and try not to dwell.
Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing it even bothered you.

That's just my opinion.

Take care of yourself and your growing family.
Best wishes.

HI R.,

I write everything down as if writing a letter to the person that hurt me. I work on it and work on it and work on it until I think it says EXACTLY what I want to say and the tone I want to use. By the time I have perfected it, my anger or hurt has usually subsided and I don't sent it. I have a computer file full of things I wanted to say but thought better of sending them. (I have a lock on the computer as well so no one can just stumble across them if they're on my computer.)

This works as a cleansing for me. If you approach the subject with her you could end up hurting your present husband if he doesn't understand. If you do confront her it may make more awkwardness as well. You have to find a way to work through all types of frustrations. It will serve you well later, believe me!

God bless,

M.

What she did was mean spirited for sure. I hope you immediately edited her out of your Facebook friends.
I think what you're feeling is normal and it does not in any way diminish the love you have for your family. Acknowledge that you once loved this man, he betrayed you and he left. His loss. Sounds like you have truly moved on but this was a blindside. Best wishes!

Un-friend her on facebook so that you won't have to see the picture any longer. I think it is completely normal to have the surge of feelings that you are having. It must have been a shock to have seen the picture and discovered their relationship in that way. She doesn't deserve any sort of response from you.

Now, make a list of all of the wonderful things you love about your husband, little girl, and baby on the way. That will help you take the focus off of the picture and focus on all of the happiness in your life instead.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. It was very immature of her.

I agree100% with Karma I. I thought the same thing. That maybe when you brought your ex up to her it made her look him up. It was a year ago, totally possible. People post their in a relationship on Facebook even if the "relationship" started a week ago. You already closed that chapter. You have a wonderfu hubby, beautiful child and one on the way. Your ex might have been your FIRST love but your hubby is your TRUE love. I'd vote for true love over first love any day!!!

I think all the feelings you are having are okay, need to be felt for awhile - it's always a shock like that that flips some switches and if you can just let your brain work through it a little (but not let it take over) then that is okay. Sometimes it's little shocks like these that make us step back and realize that everything happens for a reason - and hopefully you can find a way to learn, grow and move on. And yes, I agree with everyone else - unfriend her, as you don't need constant reminders. Replace it with constant reminders of what you do have now.

.

of course you have all these feelings of anger now. he was your first love. i don't think we ever forget our first loves. you have moved on and now this happened, plus you're pregnant so your emotions are a little more than usual. unfriend her, and let it go. she probably got in touch later with him and now they're dating. but you're married. so they have a long way to go until they get to where you're at.

Delete her as a friend and forget about them. Look, I had a similar situation happen with my husbands ex-wife. I am a better person to respond to such childish behavior....and you are too! Forget it and enjoy your life you have. Do not write anything on her page or metion anything just delete from your friends list. It is really sad that "they" (he had to know she was friends with you) want to cause you pain and be imature. You have a wonderful family now go and give them your full attention. THEY deserve it! :)

I agree with mostly everyone who responded. Delete her and move forward with your happy life. It will only hurt for a bit and then time will help heal the pain (again). Good luck!

"un-friend" her and move on- seriously. I get it that you feel like she lied to you, but you are a happily married adult with children so seeing his face on your computer shouldn't change that.

Focus on your current relationship and let her worry about your ex.

Yes you need to un-friend her. I don't do Facebook so I don't know the correct terms. Anyway, before you can ever get passed and over it, you NEED to forgive them both. I don't mean you need to say anything to them but in your heart you need to forgive in order to get passed it. If you don't it will hang on to your heart forever.

I say its just your hormones. You are obiviously in love with your hubby and new life. So go with that. I would definitely delete this chic as my friend on facebook asap. Im just saying.

I would bite my tongue, send one last...best wishes to your "friend" and then delete her from your FB feed. No reason you should have to constantly have to see that, like you said..you are happy with your new life and wouldn't change a thing. Or if you don't even want to say anything, just delete...she'll figure it out.
Hope that helps.

Block her immediately, that way she has no access to your life to pass on to him too.
However long it took you to put him out of your mind the first time is probably how long it will take now.
When you are pregnant your hormones to make it harder to move on emotionally which might be good in a cleasing sort of way. This way you may feel more of a closure, especially if you do what one mom suggested, write down your thoughts until the pain and anger eases then toss them out.
If you just delete her and not block her she can still see your pics and wall and make contact.
She probably doesn't have a clue of your feelings as you say you are in a happy place in your life now so she might just be dumb and not knowing how insensitive she is to you. He was yours first.
Best let the past in the past, showing how this hurts cannot really be explained to your husband without him feeling hurt as well. so tell to work it out alone, sorry to say.

first of all block her. second of all remeber he is your ex for a reason and keep telling yourself all of his bad qualities. keep thinking he is her headache now not yours. my ex married one of my friends also. but she wasnt the reason we split up. BOY DO I FEEL SORRY FOR HER. shes very happy with him but I know what he is going to do to her. I DONT MISS THE DRAMA. the bitterness anger and hurt is part of healing. you will get over it in your own time. let yourself be these things you will get over him faster.

My first response is if she friended you a year ago and the picture showed up 2 days ago maybe she reconnected with him completely seperate of your actions of friending her. That is a long time to wait to be cruel. Also what most of us forget is we live in our world her actions may have nothing to do with you.You have been divorced from this man for 8 years, she probably assumes that any relationship she has with him is outside of you or your interests. If you do not want to see their faces end the the facebook connection. As far as how you feel, only you can overcome that. My suggestion focus on all the blessings you have a loving husband, one child with another on the way. Remember you divorced for a reason. Focus on the amazing things you have done with your life since. Be happy for him and her, hopefully they will be lucky enough to build a happy blessed life like your own. Holding on to anger and pain only damages you not them.