Possible Speech Delay in 2 Year Old Son, What to Do While Waiting for Diagnosis?

He's only 2, he's has many years ahead of him. I think you are over analyzing his abilities at this young tender age. My grandson is now 4 and went through a similar stage. He now says hi to everyone he comes in contact with, quite the opposite of how he was. Now we have to teach him not to talk with strangers and all that goes with that. He just may take a bit longer than other kids to come out of his shell. Once he's around other kids enough he will open up and be just like them. Be patient you'll see.
S.

Call your local Early Childhood Intervention!!!!! They will come to you, do a free evaluation, and it doesn't hurt anything to have it done! It's great that you're taking the initiative to get him evaluated!!!

My ODS has a speech delay and is in ST now. He is almost 3.5 years. Starting when he was 18 months, I expressed my concerns to his pedi, only to be told "he will catch up". Others (on here, as well as other forums, and also friends) also told me not to worry, and that he would catch up, that he's a boy, and boys talk later. blah.blah.blah.... Everyone said to wait til he turned 2.5 years. So regretfully, I ingnored my gut and listened to everyone else. Guess what? Things didn't change. His dr still told me not to worry. So I finally called ECI on my own (you don't need a referral) and scheduled an appt. The speech pathologist knew immediately he needed ST, and that he had a severe delay, as soon as she walked in the door. I don't believe in regrets (really, what's the point?). But this is one thing I do regret, not following my gut and getting him help sooner.

He's now in ST twice a week with our school district, and though he's greatly improved, he still has a ways to go. He was almost 3 before he started ST. If he had started sooner, then he probably wouldn't be in ST now. Some older kids don't like playing with him once they hear him talk, b/c they think he's a "baby" (although some kids are very sweet to him). But it hurts me to see him get ignored when he just wants to play just b/c they can't understand him. This aspect has only gotten worse as he's gotten older, since he's old enough that people expect to be able to understand him. I have to translate nearly everything he says still. He takes it pretty good, but how do you explain to a 3 y/o that kids don't want to play with him b/c they don't understand him? There is more to speech delays than just the speech part. There are social aspects, as well as a level of frustration (on his part, and ours) when we can't understand what he's trying to tell us.

I share all this with you b/c of all those who say "he's fine"... Maybe he is, but maybe he's not. It doesn't hurt anyone to get the eval done. The *worst* they can do is tell you he's fine. You're his mommy and know him best. Follow your gut. You're doing an awesome job, mama!!

And I wanted to add that my son did/does understand everything we tell him. He has great cognitive skills, as well as fine and gross motor skills. But he has a severe atriculation delay, which has caused an expressive language delay.

Someone has already suggested calling the San Andreas Regional Center. Their number is ###-###-####. Ask for early intervention and tell them you need to have an evaluation done for your son. They will come out fairly quickly, within 2 weeks or so, and do an assessment and let you know what they think. It is all free. I am a nanny for a little boy who is now 2 yrs 4 months. We had him evaluated when he was a year old because he was not talking hardly at all, only 4-5 words. He has been in speech therapy every since and is now doing fairly well.

Some of the responses said just wait and he will grow out of it and he'll be fine. My question to the parents of the little boy I nanny for was why would you want to take a chance or risk for your child when you can get early intervention and then be sure there will probably not be a problem when he gets to be 3-4 years old. They have not been sorry we got him into speech therapy.

Hope this helps. Just listen to your heart and your gut. No one knows your son like you do and if you feel it is okay to wait and not get any help now, then wait. But if you feel like it is something to do to at least get him evaluated by professionals, then do it. You have nothing to lose.

In my view, the biggest danger is stigmatizing your son and having him end up labeled.

My son didn't say more than "mama" and "dada" until after he was three years old. We taught him sign language from about 6 months old. He signed his first full sentence at 18 months old ("More cheese, please, mama"). He had no problems understanding what we said and responded as best he could with signing.

Between ages 12 months and 40 months, I was subjected to intense pressures from family to get my son "diagnosed". We homeschool, so I didn't worry about day care taking him away and giving him to the government. I resisted the pressures and continued teaching my son sign language and talking and singing to him. I took him to regular get-togethers at a local moms' group so he could play with other children, but he mostly did parallel play.

My patience was vindicated. Within six months, my son was saying words like "Euoplocephalus" and "Pachycephalosaurus" (he liked dinosaurs); by age 4 he was reading! I often get compliments about my son's vocabulary and have ever since he was 40 months old.

Several other moms I've known have had their boys go through a similar development schedule. I think the pressure for boys to speak early is just unfair and unhealthy. Different children develop different abilities at different rates.

One thing I noticed was very strongly correlated with language development was fine motor skills. The better control of his fingers my son had during signing, the better his tongue served him in speaking. I predicted to family members (who were pressuring me at the time) when I noticed improvement in the dexterity of my son's signing that he would very soon begin saying more than "mama" and "dada", and I was proved right later that same day.

So take heart, your descriptions of your son could have been describing my son at a later age (your son's ahead of where mine was at the same age). My 7-year-old son's now reading Steinbeck and Shakespeare, calculating squares and cubed roots, and has an active social life. No labeling, special treatment or pharmaceuticals needed; just lots of love, exposure to mental and social stimuli, fearless defense of your son's developing in his own time, and patience.

I understand just what you are going thru! I have a 2.5yr old boy, who was talking until he was 18 month old. Not sure what caused it, (it was after his 15 month immunizations- but that is a whole different discussion) but he completely stopped talking- not another word or sound for at least 6 months! Then he started just making a deep gutteral sound in his throat when he wanted something and pointing. But his whole body would tense and his eyes would get very intense so you could tell he knew what he wanted to say, just was unable to get the words out. I worked with him all day, every day, and retaught him mom, dad, nana, pop pop, etc. Meanwhile, I called in early intervention. They evaluated him, and at 24 months he was at 36 months in everything but articulation. So we now have someone come out to the house once a week to work with him. In all honesty, I don't think it does a whole lot of good- but it does keep track of the progress that I have made with him all week. She plays with him for an hour, and I get all my laundry folded and put away. ;)
I read to my son daily as you do. I also only let him watch educational, teaching movies: Your baby can read, and the Leapfrog videos- have been very helpful. He could do the phonics of the alphabet with in 2-3 weeks! He can now sound out words in a book with me, and he has with in the past 2 weeks started putting words together. "look, daddys truck", "in mommas car", "I eat cereal", etc. So I think he will be fine, just maybe a late talker. I also make sure that I make the need for him to talk. I make him ask for something even if I know what he wants! Sometimes I think he knows how and just doesn't want to talk yet. But one day, I suspect he is going to wake up and be talking in sentences! He never sings with me, and the other day I stepped out of the bathroom while he was taking a bath, and I heard him singing entire sentences of a song I always sing to him in the car!
I also think that it is only around 3 that children actually start interacting with their playing. Prior to that they play more next to each other. My son has just started playing with 2 cars or toys and having them interact with each other (make believe play) so I think that is something you should make sure that he does as well. At 3, if the speech therapist recommends, he will go for therapy with a group of other children his age and older, and I think that will help him more then the one on ones are. And most important to remember is that everyone progresses and learns on their own time table. My hubby didn't talk till he was 3, and I was reading when I was 3. But if there is a problem, you want to intervene early on as speech and reading delays if left 'untreated' can lead to learning problems later. So either way, by working with him you are doing the right thing! Good job momma and you are not alone!
HUGS
B.

Your son speaks WAAAAAY more than my brilliant little guy did a t 2. My son didn't try to say a single word until he was over 2 1/2. At almost 3, he talks all the time with better pronunciation and sophisticated phrases and ideas than most. Many boys in my family didn't talk at all at 2. My two closest friend's sons didn't talk until almost 3. It's a ridiculous milestone that is different for every child. I never paid attention to it because I could tell my son understood everything and had no issues.
If your son just turned 2, he is NOT AT ALL delayed.

While he may have some delay you are certainly do all the right things now by encouraging him, reading to him, etc. Make sure that you respond to him with more words. For example if he says "mooo" for a cow say "that's right! That's a cow". In our house, learning and language skills are an everyday thing that we incorporate into our daily conversations and routines. When I make my daughter a snack I ask her to pick between 2 colored plates. That way she is making choices, working on colors, being verbal, etc.

You might also try sign language with him. Crazy as it sounds it might actually get him using the words. i started signing with my daughter at around 8 months and instead of her using the sign when she couldn't say the word she actually started using the word at the same time she learned the sign. So she would sign and say it at the same time basically. I really like the Signing Time series. Very easy to follow, has music, etc We also look up any signs on-line that we want to use that weren't on the video. It was really fun for my kids and @ 2.5 she still will break out with a sign while talking to me at times.

no you are not alone my oldest was delayed in speech and so is my 2 yr old. i think waiting till april is not good but it wouldnt hurt at the same time. I am going to suggest getting ahold of eci and get his speech started. he doesnt have to say what he wants and in some cases cant yet. make him look at you and say the word slowly. ex when you tell him chair put an empahsisi on the ch of the word. this is what they will be doing with him in speech but say the word slowly. if you say ball emphasis the b in the word.
make him look at you when you talk to him.

if it comes out close go ahead and give it to him so he doesnt get fustrated. if he says acker for cracker give him a cracker. otherwise you will just fustrate him. if he does say acker tell him good boy in an excited voice. and repeat to him yes you can have a cracker. while he is playing tell him what he is doing. if he is putting a ball in the tub tell him that. the more he hears them the more he will try. I have a 2 yr old who is hard of hearing. I have noticed the more I make him look at me when i talk to him the more he tries. it doesnt come out right but if he tries to say it i reward him wether its right or wrong. the more excited I get the more excited he gets. we practiced the word sit for 30 min one day. he would say it and i would say it back.

this was his reward. it was a game to him but he was learning. he is now slowly changing from babble to kinda words. they are never right but since he is hard of hearing I will take what I can get for now. With my son I sign and talk at the same time if he cant say it sometimes he signs it. the words that are going to be hard for him your son is the words that have a compound start such as chair, that, what, wheel, this,spagetti, and words that have a compound constanant start. when they are in speech they make them watch their mouth so they will copy them. this is how my oldest son was done.

I have noticed since I make the baby look at me his attempts have gone up. but none are really understandable and if he is scared of the word coming out wrong he signs it. take all the little steps he gets. and make a very big issue of it and keep reading to him a lot. my son cant hear from the back so the making him look at me has made a world of diffrence when I talk to him. I also have a low voice and raise my voice more often and tap him on the shoulder to get his attention. but definately call eci. the sooner the better.

relax mom he may be a little delayed but he smokes mine. my son cant do 2 words together except whats that. he doesnt say his name but he can sign it. he doesnt say mine but he signs it. mine says less than 30 words. and only about 4 of them are clear. they all learn at their own pace and some kids are just lazy and dont want to talk cause they dont have to. this sounds more like your son. if you give him milk tell him milk while making it. and say would you like some more milk when he ask for it. while fixing it keep repeating milk to him. he will pick up more than you expect.

Since you live in Santa Clara County, you should contact the San Andreas Regional Center and ask for an "in take evaluation". They can get you in touch with Early Start programs, etc. These are free. (state agency) http://www.sarc.org/
300 Orchard City Drive, Suite 170
Campbell, CA 95008
Tel: ###-###-####
Fax: ###-###-####

I also recommend Parents Helping Parents in San Jose -- www.php.com
You can ask the people at php about the San Andreas Regional Center -- they will know all about them!

Hours
Monday through Friday 9am - 5pm.
The Librarian is in Monday through Friday 10 am - 4 pm.

Location

Parents Helping Parents
Sobrato Center For Nonprofits-San Jose
1400 Parkmoor Avenue Suite 100
San Jose, CA 95126

Phone number ###-###-####

CA State Toll Free ###-###-####

Once your son is 3, the local school district will provide programs for him, if he qualifies. Early intervention is the way to go -- much better than waiting seeing if he catches up.

Good Luck!

I was a preschool special education administrator in my former job... first it is very difficult to schedule evaluations b/c there are very few people qualified to do a thorough language evaluation on a child so young. My first recommendation is to keep calling on a weekly basis to see if there have been cancellations (happens all the time). Let the secretary know that you have some flexibility and that you would like to be called (even last minute) if a slot opens sooner.

Children with expressive delays tend to be shy and reserved b/c other children (and adults) are impatient. If he can't express himself verbally, kids may not wait around for him to find the right words.

Having said that, Early Intervention is very powerful and very effective. I'm not saying that it's an overnight cure, but if your son qualifies for speech services or any other services you will likely see improvements quickly.

You went through your pediatrician/insurance, but did you call the county? All counties have some form of Early Intervention services. If you have not already reached out to EI in your county, please do so immediately. They will help you monitor your son's progress and make sure he gets supports as long as he needs them!

Good luck and relax a little- you are doing the right things and he will get the help if he needs it!

When my grandson was 18 months old he was not speaking and my daughter was able to qualify him for some early intervention. She went to an 8 week class which taught her how to relate to her son in a way that promoted his speech. As I recall some things were; get down on the child's level when speaking to him. Make eye contact. Let him lead the conversation even if he just shows you a toy. Say something about the toy like "I see you have a red truck." If he names things by their sounds just use the correct name of the object when you echo him. None of it was complicated so maybe the place that is going to do the evaluation can give you a list. If not, get in touch with a speech therapist and ask for suggestions.You can even e-mail me back and I will ask my daughter for more stuff. It sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things already. But don't let lay people tell you not to worry. I once asked a therapist why moms and grandmoms say "oh, don't worry, he's a boy." and therapists freak out when kids don't talk on time. She said that not every child who talks late needs speech therapy, but every child who needs speech therapy was a late talker. Also, if your son talks at home but not at school you might think about Selective Mutism. It's an anxiety disorder that requires some special treatment. My son had this. You sound like a good mom and I'm sure things will work out for you and your little boy.

If your son at 18 months had 10 words that he uses regularly then it sounds like he's doing pretty good to me. We are fostering an 18 month old who qualified for early intervention (birth to 3 program) with a severe language delay. Here's what got him to a severe language delay:
1. NO words at all
2. Limited understanding of what you are saying
3. Does not follow simple directions (go get your shoes)
4. No gesturing for what he wants

He was in a bad home, so most of this is the product of his environment, but to me that's what a severe speech delay is. Birth to 3 is an awesome program, so if your son qualifies then it will help a lot.

As for the not saying his name. I dont think that it's that he doesn't know his name (unless he doesn't respond to his name when you call him), maybe it's just hard for him to say. I know when I was a child my mom couldn't get me to say my name (I would say "ME" because I didn't like saying my name). Overall, I would say it's nothing to be worried about.

I have been where you are. There is no danger in stygmatizing your son, as someone said, but there is danger in not getting someting identified out of fear of what it is. Stygma is in the eyes of those who are uniformed about developmental issues, and arises out of fear. Do not fear. He will be the same little boy if you help him as he was before you did, and you can help him. I can think of nothing worse than to delay or avoid intervetnion or identification out of the fear of being stygmatized by those around him, because failure to intervene will result in a much worse stygma than a terrific adult who once had speech therapy or more interventions that nobody knows about, which is quite likely. What you should beware of is anecdotal descriptions of kids who were just like your son, got no help, and are in gifted programs, are brain surgeons, rocket scietntists, etc...that may be true, but for every child who had a miracle, there are children like mine, who are miracles because they got the help they needed when they needed it, and that child and mine look just like yours does at this age. You would be taking a bet that your situation is not like mine, and the price is way to big if lose.

So, here is my suggestion. First thing, stop trying to identify things that he can do that will elimate a diagnosis. It does not work that way at all. There is not one particular thing that kids can do that will mean that they don't have a particular developmental delay, and you have enough red flags to go ahead with an evaluation with a Developmental Pediatrician without any qualification. That will take a long time too, so make the appointment now.

Call around to other speech therapists, and see if you can get him in sooner in the mean time, and start therapy for the speech issues that you see, and do not depend on the speech therapist to diagnose a global issue, many speech therapists can be very wrong about what they think the real issue is, and they are nto qualified to diagnose anything other than a speech issue.

Call ECI in your state, and get an appointment with them. You can locate the early childhood intervention program by calling your county's board of Developmental Disablities, they will know who to contact and what your state calls this program. They will come to you, and evaluate him, and provide therapy if he needs it free of charge. Do not depend on them to diagnose him or to provide all the therapy he needs. They are there to help him be functional, and you want more than that. When he turns three, contact your school district, and continue with state services through them, but again, always suplement with as much private service as you can afford. Both of these are federally funded state run programs in every state, and you can learn about advocacy for these programs at www.wrightslaw.com. Once he gets into the school district program, it is important that you learn to advocate.

You are not alone by any means. The biggest lesson is, never wait on develpment, and get as much intervention as you can, as early as you can. Know that even if you get a diagnosis, it may change, because development is a moving target, so be flexible, and continue to focus on intervention for the issues you see, and not what to call his condition. Learn about all his evaluation data from the wrightslaw site, you will be much better prepared if you understand how to read and interpret the data. And, keep your chin up. There was nothing you did to cause this, it happens. Stay on the standard path, it is not flashy, but it does produce results, you will likely hear about food and supplement or detox related "cures" and they are a waste of your time. Be healthy, and go forward with standard care.

M.

It is a myth that boys have slower development than girls. The developmental milestones are the same for both genders, and waiting on an evaluation because of this thought could be devistating to any child.

While it certainly won't hurt to get a diagnoses, I also suspect he's fine. He's much more verbal than many kids I have personally known at that age. Many of the men in my husbands family were speech delayed including my nephew who didn't say a SINGLE word until age three. When he did start, he immediately started using sentences. He's now a very bright 10 year old. I think doctors are pushing early intervention now to make sure they do catch the few who need it, but as a consequence are worrying many many other parents needlessly. Its a trade-off, and one that is probably worth it, its just hard to be on the worrying end.

It sounds like you are doing good things with your son. The only thing I'd add is to ask him lots and lots of questions in your day to day life, e.g., do you want your red shirt or your blue shirt? grapes or oranges? Let him show you if he won't say it, as he'll still be conversing. However, don't assume his speech delay is because of you or your environment. Kids just develop on their own time table. I have two boys, and a language-rich house full of songs, stories, questions. My first son has always been advanced with anything related to language: speaking at 8 months, multi-word sentences at 18 months, reading before 3. My second son (now 19 months) has just *barely* met each milestone, and in fact, it depends whose milestone you use. My pediatrician is pretty relaxed about her milestones, so we have not been sent to ECI, however, I have friends whose children are at the same age & level as my younger son who have been sent to ECI. Sometimes I get worried about his development, but mostly I think he's fine. I'll just keep talking to him and keep watching him, and hopefully he'll blossom in his own time.

Oh, and I'd just add that I think the day care teachers' concern about him playing by himself is way off base. Kids at this age DON'T usually play together ... they play in parallel. If you've seen that he's interested in other kids, and interested in adults, then I wouldn't worry about the social interaction.

Good luck!

While having him "tested" is good... The final result will be by 4 he'll be chattering your ear off!

Boys are more visual than girls and talk later... Some boys are quieter than others... My 2 boys (6 and almost 4) were both the same way... They expressed themselves thru motions and sounds until they were over 3... Then one day they started talking away full sentences... And there is no stopping them. Its like they were storing all those words that we could get them to say once or twice in a vault and they decided to open that vault door all the way...

This made me cry. I agonized about my son's language from about 1 1/2 yrs to 3 1/2. I had parts of my family telling me there was something wrong. Other parts were telling me not to get him evaluated because they'd just diagnose him autistic and he would forever be labeled. A co-worker/ teacher/speech pathologist told me he very well would be autistic. Others told me not to worry. Finally, after an awkward talk with my best friend, I took him to the doctor. The doctor told me he could use help in articulation only but yes, he needed help. Of course the help wasnt covered by insurance and it costs $75 per hour. So when I was 9 months pregnant I took him to an evaluation done by the board of education. They discovered the same thing: he needed help in articulation. But since there are more severe problems and not much funding, he would not get services. They told me to put him in pre-school and if it didn't improve by the time he was 4, come again. Well, this was in May and school wasn't until Sept. So I sat with him every morning and we did "sounds". I printed out speech therapist's worksheets and we did 4 pages. He would have to try to repeat after me. It was frustrating. I bribed him with allowing him to play X Box immediately afterwards. It worked. Also, in NY, if the teacher says the child's language inhibits social life, it is possible they can get services.