A.S.
The sitting and doing homework thing... That doesn't say ADD (necessarily) to me. But the only accomplishing one of two simple tasks DOES!
No one wants to sit and do homework.
I just got done trying to help my 7 1/2 yr old stepson with his homework and am quite concerned. He seems to be having trouble focusing for any length of time. He moaned and groaned through most of it and I feel like the work was not hard for him, he just doesn't like sitting there and doing it. His Mom just moved back to this state, so he has not been a big part of our lives, but now we have him 2 nights a week and every other weekend. He is a great kid. Fun, energetic, kind. He can get quite down on himself, very negative very easily and apparently has been that way for a long time. I know his mom is very loving and so that is not an issue. Anybody have any experience with ADD or a child who has difficulty focusing? I noticed this week that if I ask him to do things, I often have to ask more than once. And if I ask for something that takes two steps, usually only the first is completed. Tonight I asked him to put his homework in his folder and then in his backpack. Only the first step got done until I reminded him. Am I expecting too much or should I be concerned that this is an issue that needs to be looked in to?
Thanks,
L.
The sitting and doing homework thing... That doesn't say ADD (necessarily) to me. But the only accomplishing one of two simple tasks DOES!
No one wants to sit and do homework.
Don't be too quick too label him as ADD/ADHD. His diet will affect his focus. So does he get protein at each meal (that you can see)? Is he allergic to anything (ie dyes in food, milk products, chemical allergies to cleaning products used in the home)?
Also, maybe he isn't in the right grade. I noticed early on that my son needed an extra year. Hartland Schools (at that time) had a Junior 1st grade, which is an interim between kindergarten and first grade and we took advantage of that for my son. It wasn't because he isn't smart, just not mature enough. So maybe that is the case for your stepson.
Michigan needs to up the cut off date for kids to start school.
Also, his parents are divorced and that, I'm sure, has an affect on him.
Hope this helps.
Changing and controling the diet can help young children focus better. Cut out refined sugar, replace food made with while flour with whole wheat flour (since wholes flour is easily metabolized into sugar) and avoid food containing food dyes--particularly red dye. Try it for a few weeks and see if it helps.
When did mom move him back? It takes a while to adjust to new surroundings and new rules of different houses.
It's taken my daughter almost this whole school year and we moved here in July. Same mom, same dad, same routine, different state, and 8th move for her.
Try setting the timer for 15 minutes and have him do watever he can in that time. Then give him a run break, let him go outside, oh wait you're in MI, you're snowbound, do you have cabin fever yet?
If it isn't too cold send him out to make a snowman.
Have him play the Wii sports if you have one.
Give him time to just be 7.
Then do another 15 minutes of homework .
Have him eat a protein snack, peanut butter is good.
Another 15 minutes and another break. Dinner?
Then he finishes up. Have him do his homework in the room you are in, kitchen or dining room.
This sounds a lot like my 10 yr old daughter who is going to be tested for adhd, not add. She is not over-active or too hyper which is more how kids with adhd are, i have heard. Maybe talk with his mom about getting him tested if it's a major concern? i definitely can relate to the having to ask 2, 3, 4, or even 5 times to get something done! They have a preliminary test that can be given at school i think its called the SNAP test or something and the parent fills it out and so does the teacher.
Your husband should speak to his mother, and discuss an evaluation for him if this behavior is a problem for him with his mother, and at school. If he has issues with school, he should have a school based evaluation, but also he should have a private evaluation by either a Developmental Pediatrician, or a Neuropsycholgist, with a Board Certified Child Psychiatrst provideing medical treatment.
Your description could also indidcate an Occupational therapy issue, sometimes, the skills it takes to carry out multi step directions are due to attention, and sometimes they are a sequencing issue that is dealt with in Occupational Therapy. It can also be both, as OT issues are frequently comorbid with ADHD of all types. If he has difficutly with fine motor, espeically handwriting, he should have an OT evaluation. A speech and langague evalution is usually a good idea as these issues are also related.
His father and mother should get a full evaluation, and a treatment plan for him that includes medical and theraputic intervention.
M.
Break anything you want him to do, including homework into small chunks of time, (10-15 minutes). Praise him when he focuses for that length of time and/or finishes a task. Let him have a break of about the same amount of time; set a timer, ant then bring him back if more needs to be done. Let him have some free time right after school; say about 30-60 minutes to unwind. Again, set a timer and he can watch/listen for the timer. Remember that when he was with his mom, there may have been different expectations or none at all. Children, however, can learn to function in multiple settings. They do everyday in school and most do well.
For starers, I beleve that the ADD/ADHD thing is WAY over diagnosed. MOST kids that age do not have the focus we adults would prefer they have. I really don't know anyone my age who just loved to sit and do homework as a kid. Boys that age are pretty antsy anyway. All "chores" have a beginning and an end. The result of following all the steps is completed homework, or a clean room or whatever the chore might be. Natural and logical consequences...if he was reminded to put it in his backpack and he did not put it there, the consequence is he doesn't hand in his homework ontime because it didn't make it to school possibly resulting in a bad grade( he might not really care about the grade) or loss of priviledges at home. Too many parents would run it to school and enable the child to be irresponsible. He is old enough to get his stuff to his backpack. The important part is to inform him what you expect and inspect what you expect (follow through) Starting something like this CAN be fun too...."wow sweetie, you are 7...such a big guy. This is what is expected of big guys like you...." Keep it positive and consistent. Hope this helps!
My 7 1/2 year old daughter was just diagnosed with ADD. I am a special ed provider in the schools so I recognized the signs awhile ago and just kind of monitored them for a while. This year she was all over the board with her grades, couldn't sit still long enough to do homework unless the house was completely quite, never could carry out 2 or 3 step directions, got frustrated very easily and hated reading. I brought this up with her Dr. and she sent her for an evaluation. Sure enough she had the lowest score possible for attention. My recommendation would be to go with your gut feeling. Talk to your husband and your step son's mom and see about taking him to the doctor. You may also want to talk with his teachers and see what they think. My experience through both with my daughter and in my job is that sometimes teachers have a harder time identifing ADD then ADHD because the students are usually well behaved and try hard they just can't get their brain to focus. You may also want to ask your son to focus on something, like a worksheet, for a minute and then after a minute ask him about everything he heard or saw when he was suppose to be doing the worksheet.
My daughter brought home a worksheet she did in school and she had gotten 100% WRONGE. When I asked her what was going on when she was working on that sheet she told me who got up to sharpen their pencils, who got up for a kleenex, what classes went for a bathroom break, and what class was on their way to the library! That was the final straw for me.
I know it has made a HUGE difference in my daughter's life. We choose to start her on meds and the first day of being on the meds she came home with the biggest smile and said "mom those meds make me so smart!" Of course I explained that she was always smart its just that her brain needs a little help to stay focused just like mommy's thyroid needs a little help to keep her energized. Oh and the nice thing about my daughter's meds is that she only needs to take them when she goes to school. So she doesn't take them on weekends, days off or during the summer which I like.
Good Luck and if you have any questions feel free to contact me.
Is his mom willing to have him evaluated for ADD or ADHD? Sounds like he has it. I'd avoid sugar and food coloring and other additives as much as you can because those will make him worse. Be patient and help him write down what he needs to do and take everything in small bites. He's probably very smart so he can take charge of this more and more as he gets older.
My stepdaughter is the same way and she doesn't have ADD or ADHD. She doesn't want to do her work because "It's boring" or "I want to play with my toys." She'll moan and groan too. If I ask her to do something she either doesn't listen or she does half of it.
The reason I know she does NOT have ADD or ADHD is if we raise the threat such as: "clean your room or you're not going over to your friend's house" or "get your homework done or you're not going to cheerleading" then all of a sudden she can do it! And she does it perfectly.
We do watch the amount of sugar she eats as well as the amount of TV and video games she watches/plays. That does help.
My SD is a wonderfully energetic girl with many amazing qualities. Working or doing something that's "boring" is not in her personality. Some day when she wants something bad enough she'll figure out on her own that it takes work. Until then, I guess it's positive reinforcement and the occasional "threat!"
Pretty typical for this age. My son is 7 and he is the same way. My daughter who is now 20 was the same way. They are both very intelligent children. My middle son was not like this. I'm not saying that he is not intelligent but he does not have the same personality as the other two. He is more of a slug and waits for things to come to him.
My 7 year old is the one that I deal with most. I have even mentioned the lack of attention to his teacher and he says it is perfectly normal. I just do things that help him focus and eventually he will do take over and do it himself. I set timers, I give him consequences (clean the front room and then vacuum and then you can get on the computer) and I just remind him to sit still and do his homework. I would say that he needs to get things done and feel confident in himself and then the negativity will go away. I think this may be another age phase.