Poppa's Got a New Momma!

If it looks like this lady is going to be around, it might be worth it to try to have a good relationship with her if your husband is going to be a father to the son. Having a good relationship with someone doesn't mean you approve of what they're doing, but if he is in your son's life, then she will be too. It's better if everyone can get along so there's no stress. SHE didn't break up your family, your husband did. With that type, if that woman weren't around, he'd've found someone else. And if he did it to you, he'll do it to her, too.

Hi i did end up going through family court with my husband because of his actions i couldnt take it no more and my 2 girls are not allowed any of his girlfriends its been amlost 4 yrs now hes had 4 girlfriends i did try with girl number one and girl number two i did for the visitations and he didnt bother or he just brought them back to me or they wanted to come home too me ...Well 3rd girlie he upped and moved outta state and he brought me back in cause he wanted his kids to go down there with THEM every holiday aNd 2 weeks in the summer well THe judge laughed at him and the order states that he needs to develope a relationship with his children and there is no one else to be around his children when he has them but him he got 1 weekend a month and must tell me where he is and a phone number and he had to give me 48 hrs notice too but he never bothered at all seeing the girls plus he wasnt allowed to leave erie county either now hes back in buffalo and he dont really bother either maybe he will see them one day a month take them out to dinner but that is his choice all he has to do is call and if he would like to do something with them i have no problem cause my girls cant be around his MENTAL cases so i suggest i would go through family court and give him what u think is good if he chooses not to bother then ya dont bother but hes not bothering now so i wouldnt stress over it dont call him dont bother him he will have a big regret one day stay strong if you would like to chat or i can help ya out just email me at ____@____.com....and like someone else said Single moms make the best dads i do agree 100 percent :)

Meet in a public place - a park etc. and stay near by. If things ever get bad - there is a program of supervised visits - keep track of times and dates he pops up, all phone calls etc. and speak to some one at the warm line or look up online.
Always trust your instincts - I will tell you that you will be unable to keep the other woman away legally unless there is a good reason.
What does your custody contract say - if you don't have one do yourself a favor and get one- there are special sessions on custody issues through legal; aid that have real and competent lawyors to help - I've been to them and it helped alot. My X was doing drugs with my 4 yr old in the house with his new girlfriend...
Take good care of yourself and your kids!
DOn't give up!

This is my second marriage. My children are to a previous marriage. I know your son is still small but the most important this is to remember to not bad mouth your husband in front of your child. They grow up to make presumptions theirselves. I would not try to force your husband to come see your son. Your son knows who is close to him and who is not. Single moms make the best dads.

Dear T.,

You do what your heart tells you to do. If you do not want your son to be influenced by the lifestyle his Father has chosen then you let him know and you keep your son from it. I am a Christian also and I agree with you 100%. The enemy will use every situation and have you doubting if you are doing the right thing. You have a boy child who will grow to be someone's husband one day and boys are very influenced by the male in their lives. You have to be the strong one here because your Son can not help himself and neither can his Father. Leave him to the Lord. Keep the Faith and lean on his heavenly Father not his eartly one.

Hi. i dont know what kind of help i can be but if you want some advice from a different perspective, here it is. I know the type your talking about, the lieing, cant stand to be around kind. I have the same problem exsept im on the other side. Im married and my husband has a 5 year old that i just adore and his mother will not this child know his half sister or me. I know what its like. I dont see a reason to leave the woman out of the picture because the father dosent know how to tell the truth. I might sugest supervised visits for now untill you can get to know the woman better, you might be surprized as to how well it could go. And just remember that she isnt trying to take your place as his mother, no one can do that. Caleb will know who his mother is. You can still teach him ur christian beliefs as he grows, and strengthins his relationship with not only you and his father but with the other women. If it is the father that is telling her somthing different, i dont see why she wouldnt be allowed to spend a little time with the child with the father. Sounds like to me its the father you need to worry bout, not the woman. This is just my side, cause i know what its like to be on the other side. Talk to her, you never know.

you need to go to family court and get the visitation restrictions set since they are not married.
Please make sure you are doing this for the safety/well-being of the child and not just because you don't want this new woman in his life (or your child's). Can create a BUNCH of problems for your child if te push and pull between your husband is evident....they pick up on it.

I know the type...I am divorcing after 17 years of marriage with three wonderful children. It does not matter what ages they are, they still need to live by the examples we set. My children's father left because of an affair, and parades this woman before his kids on a semi-regular basis. My children are old enough to formulate their own opinions, and they do not care to be around her; yet my ex seems to keep on trying to put her in this "friend" position. It is a fine line to walk, but if you feel you are right, you stick to it. No matter what age a child is they need structure, consistency and good moral examples. Stick to your convictions... ask your lawyer, the judge, the law guardian, anyone with authority to step in an prevent this exposure if you truly feel it is wrong.

there is a great book called 'why does he do that'

T.,
I am really sorry. This kind of thing is really sucky. My best friend is going through this stuff. rather then assume I would guess tho there is no custody decision?
I know this is really hard and you don't have to let him go to their house OR meet this woman if the court hasn't required it. If 'daddy' doesn't want to see him that is his issue. You love on your baby and hold him tight. If dad wants to be in the picture, make it be on YOUR terms, where you want it and when it works.
It is possible to let him go to their house but teach him that you believe their behavior is NOT OK! I am with you on that, it isn't. If he isn't pushing to see him there is no reason to make it work for him too. wait til he requests it, but get a plan in place now for the possibility.
I pray you are able to find something that works for all of you--H., ____@____.com