Poor Baby

Updated on April 22, 2011
A.L. asks from El Dorado Hills, CA
16 answers

I have a 5 month old (who is my fourth). He sleeps pretty good during the day but at night he sleeps horrible! He wakes up every hour and the only way for him to go back to sleep is for me to nurse him. Its not that he wants to get up and play. He wakes up and doesn't know how to go back to sleep. I was so sleep deprived that on Monday I decided it was time to have him Cry It Out. We put him in the office around 10pm and don't get him until 6am (this is what my doctor told me to do). The first few nights went ok but last night he cried a lot. I figured he would have caught on by now (4th night). I feel horrible letting him cry but I NEED sleep. When we did this with my other 3 kids, they were sleeping through the night by day 5 or 6. Should I continue the cry it out or bring him back in our room and feed him on demand again? I don't want to mess him up from the 4 days of the sleep training but I don't want him in there crting all night. Advice???

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H.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same problem. He is what they call a "trained night feeder". If you google it there are some great links on how to resolve the issue. It will take a couple of weeks. Here is a link

http://www.scribd.com/doc/3297957/Trained-Night-Feeder

Good luck! It will get better!

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

put breastmilk in a bottle and let him continue sleep training. I personally would mix cereal with the breastmilk also only at night. also does she have ear infection? that may be bothering her at night. A blankie or paci might help too.

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J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

you cant seriously leave a 5 month old for 8 hours, while you sleep. Babies get frantic, fast, and need to know you will come and soothe them! Thats a long time, for someone so little. I would feed him on demand, its growth spurt time at this age, and the frequency and need for feeds constantly changes. Please, dont leave the little guy all alone like that. My daughter, fussed and needed night feeds at this age, and sometimes still does. She sleeps in her crib beside me, and now, at 13 months, usually goes back to sleep, simply by shushing, from me, without my needing to even get up. She just wants reassurance that Im there. I still nurse her before bed, but until shes drowsy, we put her down awake. We swaddled her till 10 months. But no CIO. It is too hard on them, and you as the mom.

6 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I think it would be way easier on both of you to get up and nurse for a bit. I'm pretty certain that I wouldnt be able to sleep if I could hear my baby crying all night. And then when they finally quiet down you probably feel you have to go check on them and if for some reason they are still awake and see you, yikes, it starts the crying process all over again.
5 months is pretty little. Maybe less napping during the day would help. Sounds like he's kind of turned around a bit.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Cry it out is not recommended for children under 6 months of age. There have been studies done that show that cry it out is actually harmful to the baby. It raises their blood pressure to dangerous levels.

I have used cry it out, but only after my kids were well over a year.

My solution is to co-sleep. Pull him in bed with you and when he fusses, nurse him. You can lie down, he can latch on and you can both go to sleep. After a few nights, you probably won't even wake up. I co-slept and nursed on demand with both of my girls. I would fall asleep with my shirt on and would wake up with it hiked up and a baby latched on. :) It was the ONLY way I got any sleep when my kids were little.

I just can't imagine being a little baby and being used to the comfort of my mommy, then suddenly being put in a room by myself to cry. He doesn't understand what's going on. Babies at that age don't understand object permanence. They think if you leave, you're not coming back. Ever. They get scared. That's why they cry.

6 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Austin on

I could never let my babies CIO. For me it didn't seem right being so little and having to already learn how IMO to be a grown up to console themselves. Also, sleeping through the night means approximately 5-6 hours not 8 hours. What if he's going through a growth spurt and is hungry? At 6 months our Pedi told me that it was okay for me to be selfish and let my LO CIO.That statement alone made me realize that that wasn't the kind of parent I wanted to be.

Now for others I hear it works great. You "train" your babies and everyone's happy so you should keep it up. I would make sure he's not hungry though... just in case.

I don't mean to disparage... just heard another story about children with a bad Mom (25 year old prostitute, leaving her 5, 3, & 2 year old at home by themselves and 1 month old twins in a car while she "works").. not saying you are like that (not at all) - but it's making me feel extra sensitive about babies thus my initial comments. Good luck though and hugs - lack of sleep really sucks sometimes.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from Austin on

You put him in the office for 8 hours and never checked on him? I am sorry but that is neglect. He is 5 months old. He is been on this Earth for a total of 5 months! He can't talk, he can't walk, he can't get out of bed if he needs something. You are his security and his food source and his most loved person. I am 34 and I would not want someone to lock me in a room by myself for 8 hours with no hope of someone coming to get me if I need something. I have a baby that just turned a year old. She has never slept through the night. She goes to sleep in her crib and then when she wakes up in the middle of the night I bring her to bed with me and she nurses when she needs to. I sleep through it. I have not had a full 8 hour night sleep since before I got pregnant. I would be happy with 5 hours straight but its just not happening right now and I will not let her CIO. Bring your baby to your bed and let him nurse and you can both sleep that way.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

With three other kids in the house, I suspect that the only time baby is getting your undivided attention is in the night. It makes sense that he would wake up just for the quiet Mom time and the uninterrupted nursing time he needs.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I really can't believe you put your baby in a room for eight hours and not check on him. You can really sleep then?? I couldn't. Heck, my 17 year old daughter woke up at 3:30 last night and my mommy radar went off. Your other three kids did not sleep through the night by day 5 or 6, read your old posts. Please bring him back in your room and see if you can get him to sleep less during the day. Mothers with four little kids are expected to be sleep deprived.

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! On your new baby!!!

He might be sleeping too much during the day.

My second son couldn't sleep for more than 2 hours a night because we found out later that his ear tubes were NOT fully developed (he was born 4 weeks early and had pneumonia and stopped breathing), once we had tubes put in his ears - he slept the night through was a TOTALLY changed baby!!!

I could NOT do the CIO method - I just can't do that. I have let kids cry for a few minutes - but not longer than 5. Babies have NO concept of time.

Babies cry because they need SOMETHING - express your milk - give it to him in a bottle to make sure he's getting enough. It's TOTALLY possible that since you are sleep deprived, you are not making enough heavy milk and he's totally hungry.

At 5 months - he SHOULD be able to sleep at least 4 to 6 hours without waking. I would try expressing/pumping the milk to see how much he gets and go from there.

In the mean time - get sleep WHENEVER you can!!

2 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Well, im no good for advice but I know how u feel. I was exhausted with one lil one (my kids are ten yrs apart) so I can't imagine. I personally probably brought the no sleep on my self bc my daughter as well wasn't a good sleeper and she wanted to be held so I did. She is now 4 and still wont sleep by herself. Its a catch 22. I wouldn't leave him alone for that amount of time, if I were you I would bring him back with you and try again when he is alittle older. Then take the advice I didn't and stick to your guns. YOUR ok mama! Just take a deep breath

1 mom found this helpful

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

At 5 mos he should have a nap schedule during the day. Is he sleeping too much during the day or is there a chance he has an ear infection or something? My last baby did this and I got up 2-3 times a night to nurse him till age 9 mos. If he got up MORE often than 2-3 times, I would ignore those times...but I did not refuse to feed him all night long. I kept his normally scheduled feedings until 9 mos then dropped 1 at a time until he was done nursing at night and slept all the way through (around 10 mos). He did not, however, sleep in our room at that age -- he was in his own room at 3 mos by himself. I think every hour is TOO MUCH, he needs to learn to self-soothe. We also set a limit on the crying -- anything over 25 minutes, I went to him....that was my breaking point. Good luck! I know it is tough!

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

if you do go in a get him you don't have to nurse him back to sleep, try other methods. Swaddling, singing, taking a walk around the house, holding him. He'll wake up less and less. But perhaps he is going through a growth spurt and he needs one more additional feel. Try not to feed him until 3 or 4 in the morning ... or wait at least 4 hours-5 hours in the middle of the night to feed. But see if you can just hold him and rock him back to sleep. He has to get used to the idea that nighttime is not feeding time. Maybe he is scared... can you get a nightlight or something? Try different things. You do not need to feed on demand, sometimes all they want is a little attention or to be burped or soothed. Calm him down and let him know it is night night time. Does he take a pacifier? He is only 5 months old. Maybe he does need to eat more at night because that is what he is used to. You'll have to try making it longer and longer between feeds. Just because they wake up doesn't mean you have to "feed" or soothe with the nursing you don't have to be a pacifier. ;) Good luck!!

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

This is a tough question because there are people that feel strongly both ways. You have to do what you are comfortable with and what works for your baby and your family. I did CIO with both my boys at 9 months. It only took 3-4 nights. If I was in your situation, I would probably give in and bring him back to my room and try again in a few weeks.

A.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I personally think he's old enough for the CIO thing but I've never heard of it taking more than 3 nights so I don't know. It's hard to listen to your baby cry and NOT go help them!
We did CIO with my 1st daughter and it took 2 nights, !st night she cried for an hour the 2 nd night was 20 min and that was all! Thankfully with my others they all slept thru the night on their own at a VERY young age!

Sorry I'm not much help! Maybe ask your dr how many nights to go before you give in.....

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe he's sleeping too much during the day? He should have one morning nap (about an hour) and a two-hour nap in the afternoon. Have you started cereal? I think it's normal that he would feed at least once during the night. Especially if he is exclusively breast-feeding. Is he staying on the breast long enough (30 minutes) to get the hind milk?

Remember, every baby is different and has different needs. He'll be grown up soon enough.

Good luck.

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