"Poopy Butt", My 3 Year Olds Favorite Phrase

I just had to respond even though you have already received lots of good advice. I have a 3 year old boy who likes to say that stuff too and he isn't in daycare. He even goes as far as answering a request with "OK poopy." I had enough yesterday. I was continuously warning him that I would wash his mouth out with soap if he said it again (after all the niceties of "we don't talk like that in this house etc...) and I never had any follow through. Yesterday I didn't warn him. I just took him upstairs to the bathroom and stuck a little hotel bar of soap in his mouth and made him hold it there. All I could think of was Ralphie in "A Christmas Story" with that soap in his mouth. It seems to have cured the "potty mouth" He slipped up once last night and I just gave him a look and he realized what he had said. He hasn't said anything more. Hope this helps.

Tell your daughter firmly but calmly "We don't use that word in our family." Repeat this monotonously every time she says it, and if she tries to make a game of it tell her you are not interested in talking to her if she is going to use that word and get out of earshot (by putting her in timeout if you have to.) In itself this should be able to change your daughter's behavior. If you are satisfied with that, then you can just commiserate with your daughter that the kids at daycare aren't learning their manners as she is.

The daycare staff are responsible for setting the policies; it's not a universal ethic. If, however, a number of their clients request that policy change, they might want to consider it. Otherwise, it is your prerogative to find a daycare that reinforces your values. (If a daycare provider told me they were "not interested in telling the children what they can or cannot say," I would definitely take my kids somewhere else. But then, that's part of the reason I'm a SAHM ;))

Yes definately address the daycare, that provider should know better. My daycare would not tolerate that & she does speak to parents on these types of issues. If issue is not addressed you may need to find another daycare who is more responsible to address issus and be a team player with working with the parents. Remember you are paying for your child's care and part of that care is what they are exposed to.

I think the record speaks for itself. Find another daycare. Obviously their priorities and values are not yours, and they have no intentions of listening to what you have to say or to what your needs are. Save your daughter, and get out before anymore damage is done.

Here's what worked with us- our daughter started this type of thing right before she turned 3. Nothing worked (she also liked to bite).

We finally sat her down and told her if she did it again she was going to get vinegar. We had her taste a tiny, tiny bit so she'd know what she was in for. The next time it happened we followed through with about 1/4 tsp of it - and the "poop poop poop" phrase stopped immediately. We had a couple of times later where she'd get it half out, stop and realize what the consequence would be and that was it. It worked like a charm for biting, too.

Ditto on the advice from the other ladies. We had some potty talk with each of our girls after they started pre-school. We reminded her that this type of language was not acceptable in our family and that potty talk was reserved for the bathroom. After a few days of reminders, our policy escalated to "if you are going to use potty words than you need to go into the bathroom." After a few language related trips to the bathroom, the potty talk ended. BTW, we also got support from our preschool. I hope you are able to get your daycare to recognize it's responsibility to teaching respectful behavior, if not, move on! Good luck!

I could just as well cut and past exactly what Rebecca C said. I tell my kids "We do not use those words in our family" or "I don't like hearing those ugly words come out of your pretty mouth" or "Just because you hear it from (fill in the blank) doesn't mean you should say it"

It works most of the time.

Amen to the rest of the responses.

I worked in daycare. It is their job to socialize children not just wipe bottoms and noses.

I was suprised at what some parents let their kids say to them. I would tell the kids straight up - even in front of the parents. "I dont let children speak to their parents like that in front of me."

If they tried their dirty words on me I would say- If mom lets you say that then you save it for mom, I dont allow it. They conformed really well.

You say you stay home with your girls but one is in daycare. Maybe you are looking more for a playgroup type thing?

Check out your local churches. A friend of mine refered me to a Luthern Church here in Omaha that had a perfect play group.

Or maybe start your own mom run playgroup. Take turns having them at your houses. No one can drop kids off without being part of the group and taking their turn at having the kids at their own place.

Good Luck :)

I had to laugh out loud when I read your post. My son is 13 and recently started calling his sister "poopy butt". It drives us crazy. I think that's why he does it. It gets him attention. I'm not willing to ignore it though. Every time he says it. He gets reprimanded. I'm also going to send him all these posts so that he can see that he really is acting like a three year old. We tell him that, but he laughs us off.

Whether you change daycare or not, the kids go through stages, they challenge us to see if we really mean what we say or if they can wear us down. And unfortunately, the testing goes on and on. The other really great advice we've gotten is that we need to pick our battles carefully. If your daughter is really good in some ways, but has developed this terrible habit, make sure that the one bad thing doesn't overshadow all the other great things she does. She may just be looking for attention in a negative way and when you show her she can get BETTER attention by being a good girl, maybe her behavior will change. But you have to be consistent, too. 3 is a very tough age as I remember and your daughters' ages are close enough that there might be some ongoing competition.