I know 3 is young to have the potty thing down pat. However, My 3 year old was doing so well both peeing and pooping in the potty. Until recently. She poops right in front of the potty or in her room. She also pees in front of the potty. I know she knows better. So I have been punishing her by taking away privileges like TV, friend time, and sugary treats. This has not helped. We have talked about it quietly and patiently. She says she wants to poop on the floor. I am pregnant and wonder if thats why? What do I do? I clean up poop every morning and it is a disgusting mess and very time consuming. Thanks.
Thanks everyone. I have decided to not punish her by taking away privileges since most people said that was a bad idea. I put the potty training seat in her bedroom and the last 2 mornings she has gone in that. So I would say things are much better for now. And if she does poop or pee outside the potty I will make her help clean it. Thanks again.
You need to make her clean it up. yes it will be messy but its the only way she will see that its not fun!
If she already knows how to use the potty, this is a control issue. You can't "make" her do it. All you can do is let her take responsibility for it. Fine, she wants to poop on the floor, she can clean it up--- no drama, just "wipe your butt, wash your panties, clean the floor." Next time, the same routine---"wipe your butt, wash your panties, clean the floor." It won't take long for her to realize that she's wasting time when she could be doing other things. This has to be her choice, and understanding consequences is a powerful lesson for children to learn. Good luck.
This is very normal. Not all 3 year olds are able to always control their bowels. She may be distracted or anxious about succeeding with the potty. And yes, your pregnancy could also be a factor.
She may feel a little nervous about the expectation of having to be "a big girl when the baby comes" and "I will not always be able to help you cause the baby will need lots of attention too". She is only 3. All of the changes sound huge and scary.
Please do not punish her. Instead give her a small break.Tell her since she seems to be having a lot of accidents, you are now going to remind her to go to the potty and each time you ask her, she needs to go and at least try.
Tell her you know she can do this, and if she needs you to be with her, she needs to come and get you. She is telling you she still needs her mommy.
I am sending you strength and patience.
Mine? She wants to poop and pee outside "like the dogs".
Rather than using a punishment, I would try to go back to potty training techniques and use positive reinforcement for the correct behavior. Scold her and make her help clean up, but keep that calm and low-key. Set up a reward for using the potty correctly and get excited when she does.
She is just testing the limits of your patience and trying out something new. This too shall pass.
I'm guessing that you and daddy talk about the coming baby often, not only to her but between yourselves. Regression (potty, food, sleep and other behaviors) is one of the most common responses little kids have to their understandable fear that your love and energy for her are being displaced.
If you punish her when she makes these sad little bids for you to care for her like a little baby, she will have her worst fears confirmed. You won't love her anymore like when she was a baby, because you now love the baby in your belly more. She will always have to behave in new and more demanding ways.
I suspect she is very, very anxious, and of course at 3, she can scarcely recognize what her emotional state is, much less communicate it to you in words. Thus the behavior.
Rather than punish or reward, at this point I would spend as much one-on-one time with my little person as I could, letting her know how important she is to me, finding opportunities to giggle and hug, having her help me in ways she enjoys, and take some of the expectation off the potty behaviors. I'd be very careful not to express disgust with her body functions, and I'd even consider asking her gently if she'd like to be in diapers again for a little while. Especially because, as you say, many kids are not fully trained at three.
This is delicate ground to navigate, for both of you. I can understand your strong wish to be done with potty messes, especially with a new baby coming. But many, many letters on this site (you can search Potty Training in the box at top of page) testify that once the moms took the pressure to succeed off their kids, sometimes even returning to diapers for awhile, the child had the chance to realize she'd rather be in panties, and re-trained quickly and easily.
My best to you and your daughter.
my 2yr old started training 3 days after i bought home my second child and did really well and a few months ago completely stopped doing all together and we ended up giving it a brake and starting over again and now he is doing much better. i do think that this because u are pregnant and she knows that she is not gonna be the baby any more try to include her in every thing to do with the baby and let her know she is apart of this too and if she starts pottying like a big girl then she can show her new sibling when its there turn or maybe give it a rest for a few weeks and try again kids dont like change all at once and she may feel left out with all the attention on you and the new little one coming
Why don't you go in there with her and make sure she doesn't hop off the seat...or that she actually gets on the seat. My daughter is also 3 and if she was pulling that I wouldn't step foot out of that bathroom until she was done and the toilet was flushed!
Hi L.,
How about trying having your daughter clean up the mess (with your supervision)? Good luck!
Cyndi
It could be becasue of the baby on the way. With mine, I talked to my older son about all the important things he was going to be able to teach our new baby. We talked about how big he was and how the baby would need our help. He was 18 months old, but was a big help and felt like a real big boy.
As for the poop on the floor, you have options..... you can make her clean it up (which may mean more work for you) ....you can put her back in pull ups and tell her that you thought she was ready for her beautiful big girl pants, but that she must still be too little because she is having so many accidents (no child wants to go back to diapers, so this may be an incentive)... or you can keep going like you are and get more frustrated. It sounds like a control issue and you have to make her decide which is more important.... having to clean up after herself, wearing a diaper, or going on the potty.
