My son is 3.5 and has been pee-trained for a year now. He has always refused to poop in the toilet and we respected his need for time and backed way off which is why he's still not poop-trained. he's in underwear all day and asks for a pull-up to poop every night. We tried giving him rewards for sitting on the toilet (he can sit there for hours watching the ipad) and offered candy or big toy rewards for actually pooping but he says he doesn't want the toys or candy. Just recently he started pretending to poop in the toilet and going to target for his reward during playtime and has a ball with this and he always says he'll poop in the toilet when he's big like me and my husband. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I didn't want to push when he was younger but now i feel like maybe he needs me to push him. the question is how much? Any suggestions? He's not scared of the toilet as he sits there for awhile. TIA!
take away the pull up...you are only giving in to his non pooping habit. he has pooped on his terms so now it's time for your terms!! my son pooped once in his underwear and that's all it took!!!
Here's a site to help, it has excellent advice for potty training refusers.
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm
My guy was a master poop holder, candy and toys did nothing for him. Yet the "power incentive" literally had him running to the potty to poop in a little over a day and he was completely trained at 26 months. Find your son's power incentive to motivate him to cooperate, like Beenthere said, something he can't do if he isn't big enough to poop in the potty. Be it a toy, a DVD, or a video game, it's something you retain ownership of, and he earns 30-60 minutes of use of it when he voluntarily poops on the toilet. Your son's pull-ups have become his "no need to use the potty" crutch, so if you want him to continue to poop in them there's a plan using them to poop on the potty outlined for that. We never used them, just cloth trainers, then "cool" underwear, so I can't vouch for that plan's success.
As you said, your son's not scared. He's refusing. Give him the nudge he needs to do it, it's not pushing. You say he'll sit for hours watching the iPad, that could be your power incentive, he earns time on it by pooping in the toilet. I'm guessing it could be a big motivator :)
Get rid of the pull up!!!!!
I suggest that you back off. There is no time table for when a child should be poop trained. Continue to set him on the toilet periodically but stop talking about poop with him. He's have a good time fooling you now. lol He's smart. He'll figure it out on his own. You want him to poop because he needs to poop and not because he gets a toy, after all. That's not to say that a bit of rewards doesn't help some kids. It's just not working with yours.
I would stop giving him a pull up in which to poop. I suggest that a couple of times with an uncomfortable poopy shorts will be a good incentive to do it in the toilet.
My first took forever! Finally we were at church when he had to go. He was having fun and didn't want to leave. He knew if he did in his pull up, we would go home. It wasn't worth it so he went in the potty. He got a toy. He got another toy for going in the potty all week. He never looked back.
There has to be some play time he values enough to go. Something he can't do if he is not big enough to poop in the potty. Just matter of fact. Not bribing. Not controlling.
I do not have suggestions just wanted you to know my 3.5 year old son is the same way. He's only been pee trained for about 4-5 months because he just did not care to go in the potty (would just go in his underwear even if standing NEXT to the potty. LOL My son will go in his diaper (he asks for one) or he will hold it for DAYS. So now we know the signs (he's bending over in pain!!) and even if we put him on the potty, he'll still hold it. So for now we're letting him do it in the diaper...and not making a big deal about it. He knows in order to go to preschool he has to be able to go on his own (next August). So we'll see!!
