It's my day for questions.....
So, my 12 year old (who is generally quite responsible) wants to walk from school to the mall (.5 miles through a residential neighborhood) hang with about 4 friends (all who I know and are well behaved) and then she and one friend will walk home.
Here's the kicker...... it's 3.8 miles from the mall to our house!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our town is safe. The mall is in a safe neighborhood. We live in a safe neighborhood. She will be walking on "main" / semi-busy streets (4 lane divided streets, speed limit is 35 - 40 with frequent stop lights), but there is a sidewalk that is a good distance from the street - probably 25 feet and there is landscaping between the street and the sidewalk. She will have to cross side streets that feed onto the busy street - but the side streets aren't really busy. Although one is the entrance to a Wal-mart strip center (3 entrances - each side and one middle.... but all have stop lights).
She has an iPhone and also knows the way - it's basically 3 streets - the street the mall is on / turn onto another Main Street / turn into our subdivision.
1. Sure, it's not dangerous. The sidewalk is far enough from the street so she won't get hit. The streets are busy enough that she won't get kidnapped in broad daylight (and if she does, there will be witnesses).
2. Call her 12 year old bluff - let her walk but be ready for the call when the realize how exhausted they are going to be.
3. Are you insane? What kind of parent lets their 12 year old walk that far?
Just curious what you would do........
When I was 12 i used to walk around town with friends. I would ride my bike to their house from her house walk or ride bikes about 2 miles easily, then hang out downtown and go to the shops and meet up with other friends. If its a safe area and she will never be alone I see no harm no foul.
If she was 16 would you be asking. My husband and I just had this conversation the other day given the three girls that were kidnapped. A 16 yr. old can be grabbed as easily as a 12 year old. That is not the question sorry.
I would let her. Sounds safe. However, I wonder if they realize how long of a walk that is! I was raised In NYC so we walked that length from when we could walk. Is she used to walking that distance?
Good luck and kudos to you for giving her some space!
i'd let 'em do it, but as you say, be prepared to pick them up. 4 miles isn't all that far.
maybe it is today. i dunno. i used to walk about 7 miles to my riding school if the bus schedule didn't mesh.
but i'm glad to see that you are at least thinking about letting an older pre-teen act independently and responsibly.
khairete
S.
I say let her go since you say she is responsible. You would be surprised how far a teen or tween for that matter, can walk when talking to friends. The miles will pass quickly. Just ask that she call you when she leaves the mall so you know when she is headed home. That is what I do for my 14 yr olds.
I would let her do it but don't be surprised if she doesn't call you. I have found the "high" of responsibility gives them super human powers. :)
Why risk it? The simplest thing can turn out to be more than we bargained for. Especially these days!
The Amber alert was created because Amber was kidnapped while riding a bike in a storage area she was not suppose to be in. Her and her brother had rode their bikes by themselves around the block a ton of times. But she decided to go off on her own. A man on a terrace observed the abduction and called the cops immediately. Even described the car. She is still dead. When I was a kid I'd walk farther and went more places. I can't tell you how many times one of my friends told their parents they were going one place and ended up in another. Or can't count how many times one of our shy friends went along with my crazy friend to do stuff that she would never do on her own.
As long as it was safe and time limits were clear, not out after dark.
Call her bluff.
#1
Let us know how the adventure goes! I wouldn't even be worried about the mileage. Be there when they get home with some ice cold lemonade and snacks so the giggly girls can tell you all about their big journey.
Honestly? I stopped reading when I got to "our town is safe". Really? Cuz I think bad people have cars and can drive into "safe" neighborhoods. Good luck with your decision.
#1 for me. When I was this age, I walked distances that long, and longer, almost every week. I remember walking 6 miles once to get home from a "swimming hole" that we used to frequent during the summer. I would ask her to call you before she leaves the mall so that you know approx when to expect her home. Its good that you trust her. If you didn't, she would probably do it anyway, just behind your back instead of with your permission .... or at least that was the case with most of my friends when we were teens!
My friends and I used to walk further than that on a regular basis... I lived out on a farm surrounded by woods so it was just us hiking through the woods and down the country roads for hours with a WALKY-TALKY to call my dad on if anything happened! Lol
Fun times :)
Let her walk and when the inevitable phone call comes, tell her she is walking. Kids need exercise. There is no reason she can't walk less than 4 miles. If she can't, she needs to get more exercise! My 11 year old is riding her bike to and from school which is about 3 miles away. She doesn't have the luxury of protected sidewalks.
Giver your girl some freedom and encourage her to walk as many places as possible. It's the best form of exercise!
If she's with a group and knows the proper procedures for calling you if she gets tired, what to do if someone tries to do anything to her she doesn't want (like scream, or drop like a sack of potatoes), I don't see why not. I did similar things as a kid and no one ever approached me, and it's doubtful anyone would if they are in a group. If she's tired from the walk, lesson learned, natural consequences.
Given the area you've described, I say call her bluff .... In our area, this wouldn't event be close to possible.
Let her go for it. But wouldn't it be a lot easier for her to do it on her bike?
LOL I seem like one of the FEW people that would just say no. Sorry. It doesn't matter how safe "everything" is. I mean......I don't know. Better safe than sorry.
Nope, I wouldn't allow it...
I am glad that she is willing to walk. During "Amber's" day, cell phones were not in existence.
Love the idea, but that's a really long walk! That would be the only reason I'd say no.
When I was that age, I loved doing things like this. Parents just gave kids a whole lot more freedom in the 80s. I have fun memories being on my own with friends at the mall.
Alone? No, in a group, yes.
It's not really that far, although if they have never done it it might seem never ending, and you may get a call lol
Ask for regular calls, and periodically along the route, that way you have a good idea of when to expect here and approximately how long it takes her and her friends (for future reference).
Let her walk from school to the mall, but pick her up from the mall when it's time to go home. Pick the friend up too so she doesn't feel like the only one whose mom won't let her walk.
I say let her but let her know that it's a long walk and she might not want to do it. Maybe just offer to pick her and her friend up so they don't have to walk so far. Don't make it sound like you don't trust her more like "geez that's a long walk, wouldn't you rather have a ride? I can come pick you up."
WAlk from school to the mall..OK...walk home? nope....does she walk to and from school? probably not....
