Pls Help Potty Training 3.5 Yr Old

Hi C., This is typical of many little boys. He may not be ready. It is also a form of control. I agree it is annoying (I have 4 sons) You may have to let it go for a while and he will decide for himself. Does he know other boys his age who poop in the potty? You are right to not hold him on the seat, that could be harmful to the process. Some day you will look back on this. Each child trains in their own way. Even with experience it is touch and go. I am glad I am done with this stage, I even trained my grand children. (girls are easier) Grandma Mary

get RID OF THE PULL UPS.. they are just like diapers in every way except they pull up. kids start to depend on them. try undies... also when does he poop.. morning noon or night... if it's noon... after lunch .. let him wander the house with shorts only on.. no undies.. or try just a t shirt.. and no pants at all.. he won't like this.. so he will feel he has use the potty. don;t give in by putting pants on.. usually in 3 days time he will be trained.. good luck

Hi, I was in the exact same situation a few months ago. My son was 3 1/2 and still using a pull up every morning to go poop. Otherwise he was fine, peed in the potty and wore underwear for sleeping...never any accidents. I had tried several times already to try to get him to use the potty and it didn't work so I will have to say if he isn't ready mentally, he probably won't do it. What I did was pile all his pull ups in the bathroom so he could see how many we had and told him when these are gone, there are no more pullups. (We probably had about 3 wks of pullups left.) I think I told him that they weren't making his size anymore or something like that and he believed me. I also put up a potty chart (even though I had already tried that) for sticket rewards. First I made him go to the bathroom when he was going to poopy in his pullup, he was very routine and would poop every morning after his milk so I think that made it easier. After a week of pooping in the bathroom in the pullup I told him he had to sit on the potty. Just sit there for awhile, as long as he stayed there he would get a reward. Not proud of this but I ended up cutting up twizzlers and marshmellows into small pieces and I would give him little pieces as he sat on the potty. It kept him happy and on the potty much longer. He still pooped in his pullup until the very last one. Then we had some accidents for a few days but I had already decided to deal with the mess if it would make this work. I made him help clean up the mess even though it often made more of a mess. We always put it in the big potty and flushed it. I showed him his dirty clothes and put them in the wash. First he would sit on the potty but I think he had trouble trying to figure out how to poop sitting down. He normally stood in the pullup but after a few days of trial and error, he got it! He has been accident free since and can recognize when he has to go now. It is amazing once he got it but I definitely think he was ready for it this time. He still uses the little potty and doesn't want to use the big one but I am fine with that for now. At least I don't have to change pullups anymore. He will be 4 in one month and we have a 7 month old girl as well. I don't give him treats for it anymore but he did get a lot of twizzlers for awhile there! Hope this helps, good luck and be patient!

Hey C.,
In reading your post I thought I was reading one of mine....LOL....My daughter just turned 3 in April...In December we started the potty training process and she has been fully "pee" potty trained ever since...but the pooping...forget it....she refuses and will only go in a pullup...I feel the same as you...you dont want to discourage, because I did that once, told her we had no more pullups, and she held it in for 2 days....but then again you dont want them to think that going in a pull up is ok.....if you get any info that ends up working for you can you please pass along??? I feel like Im going to be buying pullups til she is 10 LOL
Meg

I went thru the same thing with my son when he was the same age. Finally I got rid of all diapers and pull ups. I gave them to a friend. Then when I noticed he was acting like he had to go I put him on the potty and told him to stay there until he either went or got married because he was a big boy and I was tired of cleaning him up. He sat there for over an hour. But he finally went! And he has been trained ever since! I don't think he had more than 3 or 4 accidents in his life. And he was not traumatized either. Too many mom's think if they lay down the law about something it will effect their child forever. Most times the kid usually has no memory of it after a day or two! It's the constant reminders of what happened by the mother or father that keep the memory going in the child's head.

Hi C.,
When my son was fully trained on peepee but not poop, we took him on his uncle's boat. All the way there, we talked about how Uncle Marty is the captain and everyone has to do exactly what he says on the boat. When we got there, he gave the safety talk and handed out life preservers. After that, he added, "Everyone on my boat has to go poop in the potty." My son went down to the head, pooped in the potty, and never looked back. That's all it took. See if you can find a situation like that for your son where a close friend or relative that he knows, but carries way more authority than you for whatever reason, can make a demand of him. Sounds crazy, but it worked like a charm.

Dear Mom,

The only thing that I can suggest is pushing him to sit on the potty not the toilet, because he can relax his bum muscles LOL, and just not letting him get up til there is a poop in the potty, I would try adn time his poops,

See when they usually come out.

And Offer him a little encouragement, ( I let my kids have a sip of my milky coffee. its warm and sweet and coffee is a natural laxative.Stimulates the bowels)

I know many moms would disagree with that but, it works for me.

Also Oatmeal, and aloe juice , prune juice would work the same.

When he sits on the potty it should be in the bathroom,
Go in there, and have him sit, close over the door let him have a few minutes of privacy, wait outside the door and encourage him by making the push out a poop noise LOL,
Tell him to push it out, promise him whatever he wants,
bribe him, negotiate,but keep him on the potty.

If he still won't go, go in there and sit and take a pee and poop on the big potty,

Eventually He will poop, it may take a few days of pushing, but if you keep at it he will poop.

Good luck

M

Hi C.. I went through this with both of my sons.. They trained great for pee, but would not poop on the potty. wanted a diaper to poop in.. I tried not giving in to that and it became such a power struggle. they both would hold it for days and cry because they were in so much pain. I talked to our pediatrician and she said not to worry about. put the diaper on and let them poop in it. they will eventually go on the potty.. so I stopped power struggling and within a couple of months he pooped on the potty by himself!!! it has never been an issue again.. the same thing with my second son, except I didn't do the power struggles with him I just let it go. it worked and now it's not a problem with either of them.. so, my advice is to let it go for a while. keep him in underwear and when he has to poop, he will tell you. put the pull up on him and don't make a big deal about it. he WILL use the potty eventually!!! good luck!

My daughter also refused to go on the potty and she wouldn't tell me when she had to go and would just squat and hide behind a chair and poop in her panties (she always had poopy balls - so it wan't too messy). Anyway - on her 3rd birthday I had her hand the whole day and wouldn't let her squat to poop - I would take her to the toile. After the third time squatting I put her on the toilet and told her she will not get off till she poops. She cried - that her butt hurt - her legs hurt - said I was a mean Mommy but I didn't waiver.....finally after about 20 minutes she pooped! She has not gone in her pants since that day....My little one goes on the potty now too and everytime she poops she would get a little piece of chocolate (it's been almost a month and she only gets one now if she rmembers) which is not always anymore. Anyway - GOOD LUCK

3 things we did for our son:
-- used the real commode -- he sat backward, facing the tank.
-- told him to listen for the "plop" sound of poo hitting the water. At first, he came into the bathroom with my husband or I to listen for our plop (is this personal or what?!?).
-- had a ritual of saying, "Bye-bye pee-pee/poo-poo, see you next time!" as kids have that weird psychological thing of separating from anything they view as part of themselves. The "see you next time" seemed to overcome that -- a trick I learned from another Mamasource mom!

And, at daycare, his teacher said it was just figuring out the right bribe -- for our son, it turned out to be 2 skittles! We never would have figured that out -- but rewards at home were less the focus, the plop and farewell were enough fun for us all....

I would say that when he is ready to poop in the potty, he will start to do it, but I personally don't believe in pushing them. Life goes by too fast as it is and if he's not ready, then let him do it on his own pace. My son took a little while to potty train but started peeing on the potty willfully at 3 years and 1 month and he would wear undies all day. Sometimes he would ask for a diaper to poop in and sometimes he would go in his undies. Nevertheless he eventually started pooping in the potty on his own, as he did with peeing. When he pooped on the potty, he would get a lot of praise at how big he was getting! You know your child best and I am sure once he's ready, you will know. In my experience once he did start doing it, he didn't want the diapers anymore. By the way, if you are going to continue to let him go in pullups, I agree with the other mom that you should just use diapers, as they are easier to clean up and cheaper!!! Good luck in whatever you decide!!!

I just read all the posts and it seems everyone that had a problem waited until the child was 3 or more. I wonder why they waited so long. I trained many, many kids and always when they were 2. Two's love being independent and doing big kid things. By the time they are 3 they have learn that they have power over food and the toilet and love the power struggle.
But that doesnt help you now, hopefully you will train your baby at 2. I guess now the best way is to ignore him and put him in diapers. Explain to him he has to wear diapers, because he refuses to use the toilet and let it go at that.

Hi! We went through the same thing. He was two months shy of his fourth b'day before he got the pee part, and it wasn't much longer before I heard him call from the bathroom, "Mom, can you wipe me?" Huh?! Well, that was easy. I would imagine if you just let him go at his own pace for a little bit longer, he'll get it. Good luck!

I have a question..Is he dry over night? IF so, There is no reason to have a pullup (diaper) on him for naps.

In my opinion, Pullups are the worst thing ever invented. I had trouble with my 14 year old daughter and her potty training because she wore under pants with me and then when she was with grandma during the day, she had pull ups.. They are diapers! They consider them diapers!

Take them away from him. It may mean some extra cleaning for you.. but its worth it to get him trained. I put a pad under my children when they napped so that the mattress wouldnt get wet...and washed their sheets more often if necessary.

If you take the pull ups away, he will have no choice but to go in the potty. My daughter did.

I didnt even use them with my oldest son (17 now) or my youngest daughter (7 years old) and I did not have that issue.

Hope that helps..

W. in Watkins Glen
Mom to 3 kids
Korey-Mikel James 17
Whitney Nicole 14
Andrea Leigh 7

Your little one is testing your patience and resolve.

You don't want to stress him out but is it better for you to be stressed out by him in this matter? I don't believe it is. He will have to learn how to deal with stress and pressure in life. He will need to try to find balance between what he has to do versus what he wants to do. You are playing your role in helping him navigate through the balance between his emotions and his will.

Often in life we have to do things we don't want to but have to do. It is not cruel of mean for you to insist he use the potty or toilet for his solid wastes as well as the liquid ones.

Be consistent with him having to use the potty for solids. Be loving and firm but maintain your ground. It is good for him to have you be diligent and insistant about what he needs to do.

It may be helpful for some of the men in his life to help him see the importance of using the potty.

Perhaps there is an older kid in your life that would be willing to help you child too. My niece was critical to helping finish off my son's toilet training experience. She was nine at the time and my son was three. It took one week but she insisted he use the toilet. Sat him up there, told him to go and he went.

Amazing he would go for her but not for me or any of the other adults in the house. My son is now 14 (soon to be 15) and my neice is 20. She still bosses him around and he still listens to her for the most part.

It really does take a village.

Hang in there. Your daughter should be easier to train. Girls don't like being wet or soiled while boys could generally care less. Hope this was helpful to you.

Hi C.,
IT is nice to know that I am not alone, my son is also 3 1/2 (11-22-05) and does the exact same thing. He will go get the pull up and asks me to put it on. I stopped trying to get him on the toilet it was stressing us both out. I figure just like that magical day when he peed on the toilet this will come too. So don't stress. this will happen. Good luck and I am sure we are not the only 2 moms out there with this issue.
D.

Hi My name is Z. I'm a mother of 4 kids ,5,4,2&half yrs old twins. The only thing that helped me was bribing. Get a big see through containter fill it up with silly things for Dollar store.See if this aproach will work I've so many things with my kids you can't imagine this was a winner. look at it this way you since he knows what's expected of him & he still gives such a hard time . Maybe consider cutting some sweets os things he likes . For example if he like outside walking or going to the park or you shoose whatever it may be it has to be something he loves. Don't give it to him & tell him i'm doing this because u're not going to the potty. good luck . Just be constant with it don't give up it'll come & plus i'm very tough with mine .I do exactly what i say . So they know making mommy crazy is not on option.At his age he should know what big boyz do & then make me proud of it whenever he'll do it even accidently, so if any q's i'm here bye

Hi C.,
At least he's telling you that he has to and not hiding it. If he's not comfortable yet, I would let him know that he can have a diaper for poop IF and only if he sits on the toilet or potty while he does it. Then diaper him and let him sit on the toilet or potty .Pants are optional, if he wants to keep them on, let him and then graduate to diaper only and once he's feeling more comfortable, he can go on the toilet without anything. Letting him poop in a diaper that you can take on and off is going to be much less work for you than having him step in and out of a pullup full of poop (and diapers are cheaper). Good luck