Please Tell Me This Is Just a Phase! 2 Year Old Boy

Updated on February 14, 2011
A.B. asks from Wichita, KS
11 answers

Hi moms. I really need your help. My son, Aden, will be 2 in may. He is nothing like my first, so i don't know what to do. He is getting into everything. He pulls drawers out and climbs into the hall closet, kitchen sink. Pulls toys over and climbs on them. He figured out how to take the child door knobs apart, as well as the fridge, and stove lock. Ya he goes into the kitchen every 5 minutes to pull something out of the fridge. Or pulls the oven door down and climbs on that. Baby gates are a no go. He just climbs over them. We can't have him in a crib or a pack and play, he just climbs out. We can not do anything for even 5 minutes without having to tell him no, or pull him down from somewhere. Even worse he falls off things all the time. Nearly giving us a heart attack everytime. HELP!!!!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

It's a phase. A phase that will hopefully carry all the way through to an amazing wrestling or gymnastics scholarship : )

It sounds like a) he needs more space to get some of that energy out and b) more consequences for doing things that are really against the rules.

Good luck.

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A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My son was like that! It takes lots and lots and lots of discipline. Yes, we made sure he got lots exercise and had plenty to keep him busy but it is just his nature. He is mostly over it now but every few months he will try this behavior on again.
Meanwhile the three most helpful childproofing items that saved my sanity were: Tot Locks, slide bolts (Placed up high on the front door, pantry, and linen closet), and replacing our interior door handles with exterior door handles (ones with lock and key) this way I locked the rooms we weren't using at the time and limited where he could go. We also put some of our furniture away and picked up stuff through craigslist and goodwill that we could modify any way we needed. Good Luck!

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N.R.

answers from Chicago on

Just a phase, but watch out cause it sounds like he'll be trouble when he's older too :)

boys will be boys,, huh?

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I wonder if he needs more intense stimulation ... it sounds like he is bored and is looking for some entertainment. Is he in day care or a daily play group of some sort? To me, he sounds understimulated.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My developmental psych prof made a declaration I have found to be largely if not completely true:

There are 2 types of babies/children; Lump Babies & Adventurers.

Lump Babies are the (often sunny disposition, but not always) children who wait to have the world come to them. The stay where you put them to greater or lesser degree, they play with what you give them, they wait to be approached by others completely confident that others will approach them. These are the kids that do "independent play" from a young age, and parents can use things like playpens, babygates, coloring books, blocks, a specific drawer that is "theirs" etc., to keep them occupied. She estimates that about 2/3s to 3/4s of babies fall into the 'lump' category. And in all her experience (40 years of working with children clinically & in research & her own children) is of the opinion that Lumps are born... NOT "created" by parents, although most parents claim the credit for them. (She says she, too, claimed credit for her first 2 children... until she had her third and realized NOPE! Personality is not created by parenting).

Adventurers do NOT wait for the world to come to them... but seek it out, often at full speed. They climb, crawl, run, and generally attack the world. Parents CANNOT leave them to "play independently" but instead need to keep eyes on them at all times to prevent disaster... or just get used to disaster. If a child who is an adventurer is *afraid* of climbing (happens), they instead develop TREMENDOUS lungs... absolutely demanding to be let out/ picked up/ and are generally inconsolable. These are the children who will scream for HOURS if confined in some place they are afraid to climb from, but are immediately happy the moment they are "let loose on the world".

((The names, btw, are intentionally "backwards". Both are accurately descriptive, but any sane parent wants the 'lump' which sounds awful, and while 'adventure' sounds sexy and all... it's really an exercise in preventing accidental suicide in the child's case and intentional in the parents' case... because it's several years of NEVER having a break unless you have someone else take care of them from time to time.))

Like I said, I've found her statement to be amazingly true. (Both in my own child and in several dozen other children I've cared for, and several hundred I've observed.).

It's soooooo not parenting... just personality.

Personally, not only having an 'adventure baby', but also who turned out to be an ADHD kiddo (he could run 3 miles by the age of 2 without stopping, take a 10 minute break, and be going again at full speed for another couple hours)... I got him hooked on video games at the age of 2, and got him into 'outside classes' at about the same time (like gymnastics).

The video games were AMAZING. Oh. My. God. An actual HOUR of peace while I knew his bum was safely glued to a chair. I made the mistake of having them be educational video games (www.starfall.com) which meant he was reading fluently by 3 (creating a whole other depth of 'accidental suicide watch'... toddlers take warning labels like directions, they really have no impulse control at that age... nor discrimination; Enquirer has as much value to them as the NYT). But we all make out mistakes. Outside classes were phenom, because YEP! someone else had him for an hour of huge grinned running excitement.

My son needed CONSTANT supervision until about age 5. I can't even count the number of "things" I did to feed that insatiable curiosity of his. But that's what it came down to. If I wanted him to stay halfway safe... he needed THINGS to explore. And a lot of them. The computer was my favorite tool, but anything complex could keep him absorbed for at least a little while before he was the streak of lightening determined to make it to Madagascar by lunchtime or bust.

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K.C.

answers from Kansas City on

just wanted to say i'm there with you. my son is 17 mo and my first two were nothing like this. He gets into EVERYTHING. I'm learning how to hide stuff, what to let slide (I do a lot more of this with him than I did with his sisters) and what is important and I make sure he knows it. One thing that my son likes is putting things out that aren't so toy-ish for him to use (we've got a big box of rocks in our living room)... wish I were more help.
K.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

currently in my daycare, I have an "explorer" & an "investigator". The explorer has to be pulled off of the tops of the furniture, out of cabinets, & has to be kept away from unlocked doors. He explores every square inch of my home.....never, ever throwing fits or tantrums when pulled away from things. He simply has to "see for himself" what's out there! & this happens every single day until after naptime....& that's when he can finally settle in & actually play with toys. It's sad to watch this daily process....knowing that if he could just settle down, then he'd learn so much more academically. But, I will say, that his speech is phenomenal - at 18 months, he's saying sentences & they're almost always understood!

My "investigator" is a whole different breed. He's a lump as Riley J described! He will sit & play FOREVER with the same toy....turning it this way & that way, flipping it, trying it on his head/foot/over another toy....endlessly! He is bright, he's quite capable of more physical activity.... but is (as his Mom says) quite obsessive when it comes to HIS stuff. He also is lacking in speech, still relying on grunts when trying to communicate. At 17 months, he can say "mom" & that's it! Mechanically, he is very adept. Socially, he's very backwards....he would scream repeatedly/incessantly (until about 2 months ago) - whenever I moved in the room, if someone came in, or if someone would talk/look at him. & in case all of you Moms are worried.....NO, he's not autistic! He simply would prefer to scream at us over interacting on any level other than his own. As bad as this sounds, he is popping out of this insecure world he was living in & is thriving in interaction with others. The trick was getting Mom to understand that holding him ALL OF THE TIME & not allowing his siblings to interact with him was detrimental to his development. Now that Mom is on board, I am hopeful for a speedy path to social skills!

All this said, I do believe that there are "investigators & explorers", "lumps & adventurers". The key to coping with these diverse personalities is to identify their strengths & weaknesses.....& provide what they need individually to succeed & thrive! Find what's lacking or what would be the next step in development......& run with it. Make it fun & you'll all be happier!

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

This is one of those occasions where you have to baby proof the entire house it sounds. I would enforce the command of "NO" somehow so you can say it and he'll do it. When he starts the climbing, which puts him in danger, it is your job to prevent that from happening. This is where I cross my line in the sand and say a meaningful, attention getting swat with a harsh "NO!" gets the best attention.... and then place him in his room for a minute or two and talk to him and tell him why he cant do these dangerous things. Sounds like you need more trips to some kiddie land places and let him get his climbing out and make sure it's considered a "no no" at home and at other peoples homes.
They do have fridge locks and oven locks too that you can use. I'm not sure if you are a renter but when tenants let their kids break the oven doors here, they have to pay for a new one and they arent cheap. The fact that he could get severely burned should be your main concern tho.
Little boys are so active, I had one that was a climber too. It only took him a second to get on top of the refrigerator so I totally know what you are going through.

M.3.

answers from St. Louis on

My son is the same way. Its exhausting. He is 2.5 now, hes doing a lot better. He has been keeping himself busy lately without getting into trouble! THANK GOD!! Dont get me wrong, hes still a handful, but it has gotten a lot better. Nothing worked for us either, climbed out of crib, pack n play, over the gate and he gets the child locks off too. I had to turn his doorknob around and lock it until he falls alseep at night, otherwise he would NEVER stay in there and sleep! Oy! Hes crazy!

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hmmmmm. Sounds like this is just who Aden is. A real go getter!

He may calm down a bit when his language improves. In the meantime get some help. This guy probably needs to be watch every waking moment to prevent the falls. Hire some teens for after school to give you a break.....even when you are home. Keep lots of safe stuff out for him. Get rid of all tip over furniture. Consider creating a dutch door with a handle he can't turn for his room.

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

LOL, It is a phase but I think you are getting a little extra with such a smart and active child. All kids go through it to some degree or another. I have a picture of my daughter on a shelf of the bookcase. She had cleared out all the books and climbed in while I was in the bathroom and she was an easy baby! Your little guy sounds like some kids I know, LOTS of fun but LOTS of work as they explore and learn both what they can do and what they should do. Hang in there and you will need to watch him as much as possible. I even used to plan potty breaks around nap times or if someone was stopping by when I watched a little boy of similar temprement. I also had a drawer in the kitchen that was the lowest and had things in it just for my daughter. She could take everything out of there and climb in there. With redirection she knew it was hers. That's what it takes a lot of repeated direction (Phew!) Got your running shoes on? :-). Take care and have as much fun as possible. You may want to do things like Anchor dressers to the wall, (think earthquake proof) Seriously, there are specific products to help you and maybe different door knobs since he has figured those out.

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