Please Help with My 2 Year Old!!!

for one, hun it sounds like your punishment is not working for him, so try something different like taking toys away. My friend tried everything in the book with her 8 year old and just discovered, (with my help) being iscolated to his room with nothing to do after homework is complete works for him, he does good until she lets him out.

here are a few suggestions

taking toys/movies away: have HIM box/bag them up while you're watching him, then take them and hide them somewhere up high where he cannot easily find them (a cabinet in the kitchen that is normally used for storage) then when he DESERVE'S you give them back

chores: what ever chores he has to do, he does by himself, (with supervision of course)

i've found the harder the dicipline the quicker the kids will act right. he maybe only 2 but i have done stuff like this with my daughter, to this day if i take toys away or movies, i make her go get it and bring it to me (has a bigger effect). i've been known to be "mean" with my dicipline, but it works and my mom used a lot of what i do with my daughter, and well, i have to say she is a GOOD kid...sometimes my husband has to remind me if i'm being "blind" to her wrong doings because i'm so used to not having to dicipline her very hard.

maybe post rules around the house, and a dicipline/reward chart so your kiddo can "see" what he is doing, that works well too

There's so much going on in your request. For starters, it is entirely possible that your son is not comfortable, and has been so uncomfortable for so long he really doesn't know what normal is. And an uncomfortable toddler-through-adult person will not be as cheerful, patient, or capable as one who is physically doing okay. (I have chronic pain issues, and have to make a conscious, adult effort to be calm and civilized on an hourly basis).

If his diarrhea is the result of some sensitivity (lactose or gluten intolerance, for example), that can definitely affect his mood and mental functioning, too. Many kids with ADHD, autism-spectrum disorders, etc., also experience food or chemical intolerances, and their behavior and cognitive capacities can improve remarkably once those issues are brought under control.

Two or three are awfully young to be working on academics, and there's a very real risk of discouraging a child's love of learning by trying to get them to "learn" reading, writing, counting or other subjects before the needed brain development has happened. And even if he "can" count, he may be (understandably) annoyed or bored with being drilled when he'd rather be playing in an age-appropriate way. Play is the single most important waking activity for pre-schoolers to engage in.

On the anger, scolding cars, is he imitating behavior he's seen from adults? Yelling and finger-shaking are common in 2-3 year-olds, and it's usually copying what they see as acceptable/desirable/effective behavior in grownups. Kids are great imitators, and learn more quickly that way than by verbal instruction (especially if the words don't match the pictures).

Time-outs, or any other form of correction, simply don't work equally well for all kids. An approach that has been almost miraculous for a number of young parents I've recommended it to has been the Emotion Coaching found in books like Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman. You can also google that term for lots of useful information. (Here's one good link to get you started: http://www.education.com/reference/article/important-pare... .) This sounds to many parents like it will "take too much time," but with a little creative application and consistency, it saves enormous amounts of time and parental energy. Not to mention tears and rage from frustrated children trying to find their way past parental restrictions and punishments.

And then there's my all-time favorite parenting book, the practical and effective How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. Every family I know who uses this book gets great results, sometimes turning around some genuinely frightening behavior and attitudes in one or more "problem" children. I'm on my third re-reading, and use the techniques all the time with my 4.5yo grandson. They work brillliantly.

You have written a lot of different things here and don't have a distinct question on what you need help with, so I would say start there -- get clear about your expectations and focus on what really needs to change. The counting and repetition of numbers is just NOT important right now, he's very young and has plenty of time to get that down. Even if you think it's part of the larger issue, don't let learning become a power struggle, it should be fun and playful at his age. His temper and following rules are want you want under control, but be clear in your head about what's appropriate to expect of a 2-year-old. They will absolutely not have solid self-control, and your job is to model good behavior for him and set him on the path of getting it under control. It could take a couple years, so get your patience ready and take a lot of deep breaths. I do think having a great older kid makes it hard to face newer bad behaviors you aren't used to, but nothing that you've written about is shocking to me. Even the pencil remark makes sense -- little ones have big feelings and they don't know how to express them properly, so they often go extreme and pick words that reflect how strong they feel. He was clearly MAD about the power struggle and wanted you to know it. It's OK, as long as you can stay calm and show him how to handle anger and frustration. Like freaking out about trying to cross the street -- the frustration is normal, he just needs to learn how to manage it. You may need to try different things with him, if time outs don't work, try something else, it's not the answer for everyone. Maybe a reward chart or jar where he can accrue good points to use toward something meaningful for him (ice cream, movie, etc) but he would lose points too for misbehaving. And meanwhile teach him alternatives to being rough -- show him deep breaths, counting to 10, ways to calm down and make a good choice.

As for the diarrhea, you could look into probiotics or fiber gummies, and definitely consider seeing a gastroenterologist -- even though your doctor isn't worried, if you are then seek another opinion.

Good luck and stay calm, it's going to be OK!

First, the diarrhea thing concerns me. Is he potty trained? Believe it or not diarrhea can sometimes be a symptom of an impacted bowel. Sometimes when a child holds his bowel movements they can get impacted bowels. I would seek out the advise of another doctor. After all, how would you feel if you had diarrhea all the time? I know it might make me want to stab someone.
I would not try to figure out who told your son that sharp objects can hurt. It may be as simple as he heard your older son talking about a boy scout project. It has been my experience that boys will make a weapon out of anything even broccoli.
Catch your child doing something good and tell him, "I like the way you are ...." Stay calm, he may be trying to find his place in the family and is using power struggles to get attention. If time outs are not working stop using them. However, I have a feeling it is not a "time out" failure but a consistency issue. I would suggest one hard and fast rule to start out with such as no hurting. If your child hurts himself or anyone else with words or deeds, put him in a two minute time out. It should be in a consistent, boring place. Try using a carpet square and take the carpet with you when you are out and about.
When talking to your child(ren) less is best. Do not give a dissertation when a two word answer will suffice.
Make sure you set aside time for your little guy. Try putting some books on tape. This can be a great tool to use when the baby comes. If your child wants you to read him a book and you are busy with the baby you can tell him to get out the tape recorder and listen to the book. Make sure to tell him that, "right now it is the baby's turn and you will have a turn soon." Be sure to offer him a turn when you are finished with the baby. He may say he doesn't want a turn anymore. That's fine, but assure him he can have a turn again. Pick out a special gift that the baby can give to your sons. If your children come to the hospital to visit, have a photo of you and your boys on your dresser. Do not force your child(ren) to kiss, hold etc. the new baby. This can and most likely will have the opposite effect you are looking for.

I hope this helps and good luck.