Please Help: Bringing My Daughter to the School I Teach At. Good/Bad?

Just to let you know it can be a great thing. My daughter has two kids and she had the oldest in her school for grade school and now the 7 yr old is heading into 2nd grade. Her oldest is 15 and at the high school in that district. I never heard of any problems and her 15 yr. old knew so many of the teachers in the district that going into middle and high school was so much easier for her. She is an honors student and very popular, well rounded, etc. Nothing negative that I ever heard of all these years.

My son is not yet in school but I fully intend to have him attend the same elementary school I teach at. Several of the teachers I know, who have children, keep most of their comments to themselves until parent-teacher conferences. I intend to follow this. Unless I have a serious concern, I am going to make every effort to not stand in the way with my child's teacher. I think it will be more beneficial that I know the parents of friends, and know the day-to-day routine, as you mentioned.

My sister is a teacher, and her kids attend the private school where she teaches. They all love it, especially since if she has to stay late or something they can hang out and play instead of being in the care of someone else. The teachers and my sister have been pretty good about boundaries, especially since as a teacher my sister knows how it feels. And if anything happens, my sister is right there to deal with it (like strep throat or something) rather than having to make her child wait across town for her to come. It works out really well.

My 9th grade algebra teacher's daughter not only attended our school, but was in my algebra class. I don't think there was a problem with the other teachers, as both the teacher and the daughter were well liked by just about everyone. That mother and daughter had a very special relationship. It was beautiful.

But, I thought I should tell you how it was for the rest of us. That girl wasn't exactly a social outcast, but we did have mixed feelings about whether to feel sorry for her or be jealous of her. She was perceived as having a 'special' social position. We were a bit envious because we felt she got better help with her homework and her mother would automatically know and understand situations at school that stressed her. We also felt that other teachers would likely show her favor because her mother was their colleague. But, being in high school, we felt she was a bit smothered and didn't have a chance to get away with anything. As a parent, that sounds like more of a reason to want to be present, but as a teen it feels like you don't have a chance to make your social mistakes without the whole family knowing about it. I do remember the girl being an excellent student. But, I don't remember her having many friends on campus. She was a bit more quiet and reserved, but that could have just been her nature. She did not seem unhappy at all. She and her brother were excellent students and managed to get through high school without getting involved in much of the risky behaviors so common at that age. They were more focussed and seemed to be personally confident. Of couse, I'm talking about the 1970's. Kids can be quite a bit more harsh today if their jealousies are aroused.

All-in-all, I would think that it is possible that it would be a great advantage for you to take your daughter to the school where you work, especially because it is grade school and not high school. But, I would recommend that, like my algebra teacher did, you talk with her and draw very clear boundaries. Let her know that, at school you are not just her mom. (I never detected the teacher's daughter receiving any special attention. They were very disciplined about that.) Remind her that when you are at work you have a responsibility to be absolutely fair with all the students and everyone who works there and with all the parents. Let her know that it is an honor to serve the students at the school and that you do your job with devotion, just as you are a devoted mother. Help her understand that she will need to show you the same respect at school that she shows the other teachers. A young child who is having a problem and knows that Mom is just down the hall will feel naturally inclined to want you to come and help. She needs to understand that there are other people there and she can ask them for help and that, unless it is an emergency, you will help her after school just like all the other moms. Let her know that having you there is a special privilege and that she does not want the other children to feel bad because they don't have their mother at school. Give her phrases you want her to be able to use when needed, such as, "When we're at school, my mom is just another teacher. And, after school she's just my mom. We made that deal and we're sticking to it." You can let her know that the one real advantage she has is that the two of you get to have two different kinds of relationship - a family relationship and a working relationship.

I needed to homeschool my son for a few years. We started in second grade. At first, it was difficult for him to show me the respect he would his teacher and just do the assignments handed to him without trying to negotiate. I would remind him that he was in school and I was his teacher. One day he told me that it was hard for him to remember that and that I should wear a picture of his 1st grade teacher when we were in school so he could remember. You might want to choose a sticker, or a pin, or a button, or something you could wear when you are 'the teacher', so as to help her distinguish the difference with a visual cue.

I can say that, in your circumstance, I would most likely bring my child to the school where I work. Best of luck to you both!

maybe you should let someone in your family watch them!! lol I think you are doing the right thing by letting her go with you. she is not going to know that she is not with the kids! she will be fine which ever you pick. if she is anything like her aunt it would be good that she is with you! but hopefully she won't be. it will all work out! love you all!! miss you

I vote for your neighborhood school to help build a sense of community for your daughter. Most moms work & are still able to be "hands-on" with their children's education. It all comes down to one word: communication.

If the lines of communication are kept open, then everyone will benefit. By allowing your daughter to attend school with the neighbor kids, you will expand your horizons & find other close-by families...who hopefully will be like-minded. It really sounds like you need to learn to "let go" & allow your daughter to blossom in the garden where you planted her. All KG parents go thru this....let her bloom.

well I'm not a teacher but I did go to school with several kids who's mom also was a teacher. but the difference was it was a small country school where few of the kids were neighbors at all. I can tell you it made it easier when he wanted to know if he could do something like bring a friend home.

ultimately I really don't think that it would be a big deal about not going to school with the neighborhood kids. I may turn out for the better to since you already know most of the famlies that she would go to school with. Also look at it this way at least you would be able to see her more often and be able to step in when there are issues with teachers a lot easier than if she went to a different school. To me I think it is the best choice to have her with you in the same school.

I think it is a great idea to send her to your school. As a teacher you have an understanding of what her teacher is dealing with, and you will also have a parents perspective. You will have a chance to be more involved in her education and you will be able to spend a little extra time with her(the ride to and from school). I am from a small town with only a few schools and I had several friends whose moms were teachers and they never seem to have any complaints about being in reach of their moms.

I'm not a teacher, but I understand your concerns as a working mom. If I were in your shoes, I would definitely bring her to the same school you are in. I can see your concerns about the relationships between her and the staff and the other kids, but I think it's not as big a deal in elementary school. As far as the kids, those that age still want their parents around, so the other kids will think it's cool. For the teachers, I can't say. How do you feel about teaching the children of your colleagues? Is it easier because you know they have their kid's best educational interests at heart? Or more difficult? As long as you try to limit interfering with her teacher's techniques, I think you'll be ok. Good luck!

I have 2 friends who are teachers with children. One of them lives in the district where her children go, so no decision there. However, she told me that if she were working in a different district, her children would go to their home's district. My other friend teaches in a school other than their home's district. Her children go to their home's district. In both cases, these women explained their children need to develop friendships in their own neighborbood, and doing that through school is easiest and has more of a wide-spread development.

I am not a teacher, but I do believe that is the choice I would make, as well. I want my children to know the kids in our area, and develop friends who are more accessable. Good luck to you.

I am not a teacher at a school but my son and i had a bad year last year due partly to the fact that his teacher had a daughter in the same grade he was in and of course she was his teacher and her daughter was in the otheer 4th grade class. A lot of the girls would have sleepovers with her daughter so she knew them well and didn't want them to disslike her daughter so if one told a lie she would automaticly believe them and not give the other child which on a more than a few occasions was my child to explain his side. A few of the other mothers of boys including myself thought she was showing favoritism to the students because of her daughter. If you can keep these thing seperate then i would send her to your school if not it might not be such a bad thing for her to spread her wings on her own. good luck

I sub part-time and have been at my son's school a lot more than the others. I didn't have any problems with him having me there. He would wave to me in the hall and smile but didn't get out of line or do anything different than he would normally do if I wasn't there. Most of the teachers there have their kids in the same school and they do fine. They do their jobs and their kids go to school just like everyone else. When I was in the teachers lounge, I didn't talk about my son unless another teacher asked if I had any kids in the school then they may say something about how polite he is and stuff like that but we usually didn't discuss much about anything about what goes on at school as far as our kids went.

I didn't notice any other students having favoritism because of their parents working in the same school. You just have to have boundaries set with your daughter and let her know that while she is at school she needs to follow the rules and she can't come to you until school is out unless it is an emergency and even then I don't think they would send her to you.. they would have another student or teacher come and get you..probably the principle or office worker so they would be able to cover your class while you leave. As long as you don't have your child in the same class, I don't think you would ever have a problem with being in the same school as your kids. My SIL had all 4 of their kids in the same school and the kids didn't seem to have a problem. She did her job and they did theirs. I don't think any of them were in her class which is good because she probably would have been harder on her own kids than the rest of the class. I know a lot of teachers that have kids in the same school and they don't seem to have any problems.

Good Morning A., Sorry I am not a teacher, but I think it is a wonderful idea.
Seems to me there are more Pro's then Con's in this situation.
My favorite teacher in HS had all three of her daughters in her English Lit class when they got to HS. All 3 have teaching degree's, 2 are still teaching, the other teaches Music at home.

You wouldn't need to adjust your schedule or plan for drop off and pick up after school. You would know if she has extra things after school and not have to wiggle time.

She could have the best of both worlds, in the friends department, those at school and those in the neighborhood.

I am sure you will figure out what is best for all of you.

God Bless you, Congratulations to you with the new baby
K. Nana of 5
PS You sound like ONE aWOWsome mama!!

Where are you located and what school do you work for? What times do you need her to be transported?

I would definitely take my child to the school I worked in as long as it was a good school. I am a teacher as well (not currently teaching...staying home with my son). Unfortunately, I have taught in a few schools that I would not have my son in. They just didn't have a great environment. If you feel comfortable with your school, I think it is a good choice. It will give you the chance to be involved in a way that you would not be able to otherwise. I understand about how you feel regarding the relationship with her teacher. When it comes down to it - even the parents I had who were involved to the extent it sometimes felt like too much, I would prefer over the parents who I knew took no interest or involvement in things at school. I'm sure that it will work out well for you both. Good Luck!

Hi A. -
I'm not a teacher myself, but my sister went through this decision also for this year. Her oldest is also gonna be in kindergarten this year :) She finally choose to have him go to school at the school dictated by his house. I believe her main reasons were for him to be able to go to school with the neighborhood kids, and also, to give him something of his own (his own school). Either decision is going to be awesome for your family!!!
Good luck!

I would advise you to have your daughter in the same school where you teach, at least, for awhile. I was a teacher but didn't get my teaching degree until after my daughter started school. I went back to college when she started kindergarten and did my student teaching when she was in the third grade and started teaching when she was in the 4th grade. Her 3 best years in school were kindergarten, 4th grade and 7th grade. Her kindergarten teacher had taught for years and I was good friends with the teacher's son and daughter-in-law and that teacher had known my brother when he was in elementary school. My daughter has the same personality as my brother and I was able to tell her teacher that and the teacher knew exactly the best way to teach my daughter. When she was in 4th grade, she had the teacher that I had done my student teaching with the year before. I had great respect for that teacher and we were able to communicate well and she knew me well enough to know what I expected from my daughter and between the teacher and I we were able to have her at a challenging level of learning without pushing her to frustration. During that 4th grade year, I was teaching in a different district that did not give it's teacher's the option of having their children attend unless the they lived in the district. Had I had that option I would have put my daughter in the district where I was teaching. Right before my daughter's 7th grade year, I took a teaching job in a small district and we moved to that district. I ended up being the 7th & 8th grade teacher in this small K-8 district and my daughter was one of my 7th grade students. In the beginning I had some concerns but it worked out well. My daughter had both good and bad experiences that year because she was the teacher's daughter but I feel that the good outweighed the bad.
Your daughter will get to know the neighborhood children as one other responder mentioned. Your daughter going to the school where you teach is no different than if you chose to send her to a private school. You have an opportunity that a lot of working mothers don't have. Take advantage of it to be more involved in your child's life for the next few years. She is still young and will benefit from the security that Mom is close by and available if an emergency arises. You don't have to hover just because you are working in the same building.
My daughter has told me that she liked having me as her 7th grade teacher even though she couldn't pull the wool over my eyes when it came to her teacher and her parent communicating that year.
I highly recommend that you have your daughter attend the school where you teach. But it is your daughter and ultimately your decision. Good luck.

hi A., im not a teacher but i know a couple of them that take their children to the school they work at. we live in a small town and one of the teachers here has two children that both attend the school. they live in another town small but larger than this one. both teachers do very well with their children in the same school as them. the one that lives out of town has one that i believe will be going into kindergarten this yr and she has always brought her to school. the nice thing about having your child in the same school as you is that if the child needs you right then and there you are only a few doors down or in the same building. they wont have to try and call you if there is a problem they can just take your child to your classroom or have you come to her. like i said im not a teacher but i think its a good idea. it keeps you close especially if you dont know anyone at the other school or anyone in your neighborhood. hope this helps, god bless R. pardee

I think it would be good to have your daughter attend the school where you teach, for you to be able to be more closely involved in her education and be more familiar with her friends and their families. Your daughter will still have friendships in your neighborhood and it would be no different than a friend on your block attending a private/parochial school.
I'm a substitute teacher at the school in our district (rural 2A in KS) which is K-12. Our daughters have both graduated, but I really appreciated being able to be closely involved in their education and knowing all the kids & their families. Being a coworker with their teachers made it possible to have more communication with them about our daughters and their progress (or lack thereof.)
When we lived in another district and I had a different job, I was just another parent at their school and it was much more impersonal even though I made every effort to be involved & was always a room mother in their classes.
One of the things I like most about our school is its strong sense of community and family, which I think is due to having parents and students all working together. When many of the faculty & staff are also parents/grandparents of students in the school I think it raises expectations and performance of students and teachers alike. The school becomes the proverbial village raising its children instead of being a detached entity where we send our children.

Grandma D.

I suppose it could go either way, but I worked at the schools my children went to as a noon duty/substitute teacher when they were in grade school/middle school and it wasn't a problem for us. I liked being able to keep an eye on them and be involved in what they were learning and my oldest daughter's 5th grade teacher sure appreciated the help when I came in to volunteer between work shifts as a noon duty. I even helped out in the library sometimes.

A.-

I am not currently teaching but do have a teaching certificate and a daughter so I felt compelled to respond!! If it were up to me, I would first consult with your husband. How does he feel on this issue? Second, I would think about whether or not you feel that it's important for her to go to school with kids from your neighborhood (ie: has she already established friendships locally that would flourish at her school even when away from you?).

Then after doing those two things, I would still probably make the same decision!! I would bring my daughter to the school I work at.....ALWAYS!!!! If given the opportunity, I would jump at it. Not only because you will work in the same location she's going to school, but because you will be able to take/pick her up and it will give you more time together. I always said I would love to teach in my kid's school. I didn't even know there were schools out there that would let you have your option!!! That being said, the friendships she establishes will be with kids away from your home...how far is the drive? Are and your husband committed to driving her further for playdates? And think about when she's out of elementary school. She will have to transfer back to your local school. But if you aren't worried about thta now, I'd bring her with you to your school! At least for Kindergarten and maybe 1st grade.

I went to the high school that my dad taught at and really enjoyed it. It was a brand new school to me (I had gone to the neighborhood jr high) and it gave me a sense of security knowing he was there. Your daughter can still be involved with the neighborhood kids after school and on the weekends. I say try it; you can always switch her next year if it doesn't work for your family

Hi A.,

I am a school nurse and have chosen to work at my girls' school. I was concerned regarding my youngest because she was in kindergarten last year as well. What I can tell you, though, is that I think she actually forgot I was in the building. I had absolutely no problems with her wanting to come to me etc., and when both of my girls see me in the hallway, they light up like little candles. They really love it when I walk up to them and give them a big ol' smooch! I treasure this time because it won't be long when they will be "embarrassed" with me doing that. (My oldest was in 2nd grade last year.) I also have the opportunity to eat lunch with them whenever I want.

As far as problems with the staff, there really were none. My youngest's K teacher prefers not to have volunteers in her classroom, so I kept my distance, but she knew she could count on my help if needed. My oldest's teacher, however, always loved when I could help out.

My youngest is a bit of a spit-fire, and I spoke to her K teacher about this. I told her that I did not expect any preferential treatment and to do what needed to be done to keep her on track, and she did. (My oldest has never had behavior issues.)

I love working in the school because you do get to know the kids and their families, and to be quite honest, there are just some folks you would prefer your kids to be around, and this is an easy way to figure that gobbly goop out. I understand your concern about her not going to school with the neighborhood kids, but if you think about it, during the school year, they are not home to play anyway. While school is out during the summer and she makes friends, because you are also home, that's when you will get to know your neighbors. As she gets older, she may decide she would like to switch schools to be with her neighborhood kids. Right now, though, at least as young as she is, I don't think she really understands that some of her neighbor friends don't go to her school. There would be no guarantee that she would be in the same classroom with her neighbors anyway, so as far is she is concerned right now, they might as well be on another planet anyway.

You also get to really know the teachers. In my school, we cannot request a specific teacher assignment, but we can certainly inform the principal of teachers you do not want your child to have. If I had not been working there, chances are, my youngest would have gotten a teacher that she would have clashed with and with me not knowing what I know, I would have thought that teacher was phenomenal. It wasn't that the teacher is a bad teacher, because she is not, but I just know my child, and their personalities would not have worked well together. You just don't know things like that if you don't work with the teachers every day.

Finally, I don't know about your area, but we only have one elementary school in our school district. We've had some whacky weather, though. There have been times that other school districts were out due to inclimate weather, and our's was not. If I were at a different school, I would have to worry about childcare if my school was in session. Also, my girls just come to the nurse's office before and after school, so I don't have to worry about buses or after-school childcare.

In a nutshell, I wouldn't have it any other way. If I worked in a school 10 miles away and could bring my girls with me, I would. When they get older and express different opinions on this, then I will revisit that idea. Right now, I make that decision for them, and they accept it as is.

I wish you the best of luck. Either way, your child will be fine.

Take care,

J.

I have observed several coworkers where I teach, who had brought their children with them to school. All regretted doing so. Some of their comments were: You never have a moment of peace, the kids are with you before school, after school, etc. You can't even make a copy without your child being there. Also, they can't always relate to the kids in your neighborhood since they don't go to school with them. Almost like removing them from their peers.
Yes, it's handy as far as not worrying about the bus, latch-key or before school coverage, but in the long run I have never heard a parent who was glad that they brought their child to the school that they taught at.
Bottom line is: don't do it!