Please Help, Any Suggestions!!!

S.,

First of all, I LOVE www.flylady.net . It is a great website that will help you get organized and keep things clean without getting overwhelmed.

Regarding your hubby, I wouldn't demand that he pick up after himself. He is an adult and may resent being spoken to like that. I would just ask nicely and explain a few specific things he could do to help you out. Don't nag him but be sure to thank him whenever he does any of it. If he sees you working hard/ making an effort and if you treat him with respect he is much more likely to help you out.

In a way it's nice that your hubby is not a total neat freak. That is much less pressure on you if he doesn't need things to be perfect all the time (:

Good luck!

Your 4 year old does understand clean up, they are just choosing not to do it. I agree with teh pp that metioned bins with labels. I also agree that your husband definitley isn;t setting a very good example for your kids. Good luck.

Short of hiring a cleaning lady, I would start demanding that your hubby clean up his act and start contributing to the housework. You are not his mother and don't need to pick up after a grown man. Second, I would stop excepting lame excuses from your 4 year old about not knowing how to clean up after herself. You are her mother and can teach her that it is important to show respect for your belongings and put them away. I run a daycare with four kids all under age 3 and expect them to clean up after themselves. Start speaking up S. and let the family know you are not their maid.

My daughter was 4 years old and my son was 1 when we started to look for a new home. She was VERY much into the pink & white stage of life - BARBIES! I hated them. When a realtor would call I would find my daughter in the middle of a tornado mess, with toys all over. It was overwhelming for me and it became too overwhelming for her. She became my "little tornado". I realized that I was giving her so much to play with at one time. I began to limit just what she could play with and packed a lot of it away, taking out something new, every few weeks, just to rotate some of her toys (those that didn't get any kind of interest, were moved out). I provided colored bins to keep it from being a disaster-one color bin for Barbie clothes - another for accessories, etc..... I would also limit the rooms that she could play in, with her toys. She could bring a couple in another room but she had to remove them if she wanted to play with them in the room, again, soon. Let her know the basic rules and reward her if she follows them..."I'll tell you what....if you clean up , every day... you may have a snack after you clean up..." something small. Then you can tell her that she is doing a good job and keep the positive reinforcement going. Little steps.

Same with my husband. He is a wonderful cook but, there are days that he can turn our kitchen up-side down in a very short time. Rather than have the conversation in the heat of the moment, talk to him before the misstep occurs. "Dear....you do this when you cook. Can you please try to keep the kitchen cleaner, maybe loading the dishes while you go along.....etc...." I make sure the dish washer is empty before he even begins. He has gotten better but the habit isn't broken and may never be. However...if I don't "comment" that I appreciate that he has cleaned up the kitchen...I've defeated my purpose. It's what works in my house!

I can't stand going on these rants with my family but I have found that, if I break the problem down in little steps, it's so much easier. Every other week, I still whisk through my kid's rooms and make sure they have stayed pretty organized, removing things that just don't serve a purpose or don't need to be in there. I bring it in my storage room downstairs. If it is not missed for about a month, it goes to Amvets. My kids know I do this (13 & 10) and if it was something that they really wanted to keep, they would have a say-so in keeping it. I just may keep it in the storage room for a little longer or tuck it in the attic if they ever want to "move out" with it. Good luck.

Yes!! I can relate!! I have a three month old and don't have time for anything!!! By the time I do maintenance-I have no extra time for anything else, and my place is so far gone!!
We're trying to move so I have to clean up. I bit the bullet and hired help-I believe it is wroth the money one time (hopefully!). I hired Organize Now-2 woman are in the midst of helping and it does help! Or have a helping party where you delegate jobs to family and friends and then you order a pizza and play games, maybe.
Flylady does help, if you are on track, though, and have time.
For my older son's toy, I pt all the little pieces of each toy together and the rule is one toy out at a time-the rest stay in the closet. Or place in bins in another-rotate toys. I have my son pick some of hi favorites then the rest are packed up and shipped off!

If you would like to watch each other's kids while we get stuff done, please let me know!
Good luck-I wish you the best!

Hi S.- I totally hear you! I live with 3 males... Our house was for sale, so I had to get into some form of routine. I banned all toys to the basement, outside, or one room. In the family room, it was limited and stayed inside a cabinet. With their tornado moments, my oldest(4) gets rewarded for picking up. He doesn't always do it. We go on special "mommy" dates and make a HUGE deal when he's picked up. I am a fan of laundry baskets, after I fold clothes anything that goes up also goes into the baskets. I am a huge fan of baskets, label them, mail, junk, school, names of each family member, etc...I try my best to at least get stuff into the right rooms. Just know it won't all get done unless your superwoman or hire help. Tell yourself it's ok, give yourself a break. Do the best you can. If you can afford to hire help, even a teenager would make you feel better. Instead of hiring a cleaner, I hire a babysitter and clean myself, it's much cheaper. Also, do take out as a treat to yourself so you can take a break from kitchen duties once in a while. Also, eat on paper plates from time to time. As for your husband, there's no excuse. You work too, it's not fair to put all the household work on you! (I have the same issue- but I let him off most of the time, because his commute is horrible). Good luck! Hope this helped!

i found that my kids who are 4 and 6yo couldn't find most of their toys without taking everything out of the toybox....and then they were overwhelmed by the mess they had made in doing so. so i got those little cubbie cubes that you can find pretty reasonably priced at target. you can buy the bins that slide in the cubes and label them or for smaller children maybe print out some pictures of what needs to be kept in them. they easily find what they want and know where it goes when they are done. as for your husband, i would just maybe talk to him about you being overwhelmed and ask that he help out by just placing his things in a specific space where he can sort through things at his convenience, but somewhere that it is out of sight and out of the way. good luck