Please Help

It sounds like since he was taken out of daycare and since he recently stayed with his Dad while you had surgery, that he is uncomfortable with the break in the routine. I read on a website that an afternoon nap for this age should be around 1:00pm. If your child is not ready for a nap at that time, it might be that he is too keyed up from playing. So, you might need to have some quiet time first so he is ready to go to sleep by 1:00pm. By taking a nap at 1:00pm instead of after 3:30pm, he might be ready to go to bed earlier than 11:00pm to midnight. You might also seek out the help of a neighbor or friend temporarily until he is back on a good routine. I know that you have not seen a reason to put him in his own room, but he might need it anyway. With the help of a neighbor or friend, they can stay with him in another room and try to help him take a nap, so you can get a nap in your own room until you heal from your surgery. It will take patience for both you and your son, but you both need your rest. I hope that all works out well for you.

I went through the exact same thing with mine in the same situation. First, keep in mind all the activities that they do in daycare. It may seem like a bit of organized chaos, sometimes it is, but there is a lot of structure too ( I used to work in day care) They have at least one section of playtime (hard playtime) where they go outside and go nuts for a while to get their running screamies out. Then, you have potty breaks (or daiper changes) this can take about an hour just to get through a class of 12. Then, you have circle time and inside play activities and lunch and nap and snack and more play time and more potty breaks and more circle time.... It's exhausting!! When I pulled my kids out, they were no longer getting all of the activities so they weren't worn out by lunch and thus weren't tired for a nap.
You have to wear him out. Play with him or find a way to get him to play "actively" by himself. Putting him in the back yard is great, but have him help you rake leaves or plant winter flowers. Help with the laundry, dishes, he's at a great age to start feeding the dog or cat by himself or practice sweeping. Target and Walmart have a section where they sell little things for kids like broom sets, vaccums (that really work) and house hold things. He needs to be mentally and physically stimulated throughout the day. Our grocery store has little itty bitty grocery baskets for kids (you can only fit like three things in there) but you would be suprised to see how tired he gets when he has to walk around by himself, behave, and load his own basket. Then, at home he helps put away, gets a snack and hears mom say "boy all that hard work has really wiped me out.... how about you?" And, being the big kid that he is, he will copy you and say "gee, you're right, I am pretty tired" and before you know it the naps will start back up!
Sometimes its really hard to keep them going at home. Don't stay in your jammies all day, get up, get dressed, eat and "go to work"!! Even if it's just a playdoh day.

I think you have had allot going on lately. He is probably confused, he quit going to day care, he had to stay with his dad 2 weeks straight, any child could have trouble adjusting. I would start out by letting him sleep 3 hours for his nap, that way he isn't overly tired when you want him to sleep. I would also talk it over with his father so you two can come up with a schedule that will be easy enough you can both follow it so your kiddo has the same structure no matter what house he is at. :) Lastly, I would just shower him with attention, because I think it sounds like he wants to spend every minute he can with mommy. :) I don't think training is the answer, do what feels right, and talk to him about how he feels.

Hey!

I've had lots of sleep issues with my oldest daughter. She's 3 now, and going down pretty well now. This is what works for me: Routine, routine, routine. And playing hardball. I close the door and let her scream when I have to. don't let the child have the upper hand in this nighttime waltz. It's still a lot of work. (I don't know what kind of surgery you had. I'm sure that's going to make everything more difficult.) I start talking about bedtime at dinnertime and prepping her. "After dinner, bath, books and night-night." We eat at 6. Baths at 7. Start reading books (three) at 7:45 and she's down between 8 and 8:30. Oh, yes, and two night-night songs. One standing up. One while she's in the bed. And we did a reward chart and she gets stickers everytime she has a good night-night. After 10, she gets a "surprise." (coloring book, etc.) The chart has recently fallen by the wayside and she's doing well. Though we still have rough ones once in awhile. Then, I keep it simple. No, it's bedtime. I'm not coming in again. Stay in bed or I'm closing the door. (She hates having the door closed and can't open it by herself). My youngest, I kiss good night and put her in the crib. (thank goodness!) Every child is different.

You know the old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" ?? Well also true for children. You can lead them to nap time but you can't make them sleep! However, you being the grown up can make him stay in bed and if he sleeps fine and if not he has to stay there and be quiet. Eventually he will sleep if he is tired and you'll get the rest you need. If you put him to bed at a reasonable time, wake him at a reasonable time, and lay him in his bed for at least an hour or two during the day. I liked the idea of a book or even a quiet toy during nap time. You can check on him quietly or with a monitor to be sure he is alright. Good luck, hope you feel better real soon

It's probably not popular opinion - I'd let him sleep when he slept, and sleep at the same time. Sometimes, especially with small kids, have serious problems falling asleep once they pass a certain exhaustion level - as evidenced by the crankiness and eye rubbing.

S.

He's at an age where he is growing out of needing naps... My daughter stopped napping at 2 & 1/2 and would then go to sleep for the night around 6:30 or 7 and sleep for about 12 hours.
Maybe he just doesn't want to nap anymore... maybe someone can come to your home and watch him while you rest from your surgery.
good luck

I have always had that problem with my children; I have two sets of twins. This is not a popular answer, but I have resorted to using rocking chairs to put my children to sleep; even with that they often do not go to sleep until 10:30 or 11. Just seems to be the way they are wired. You should put him down for a nap at say 12:30 anyway and at least require quiet time. Generally at that age I would stay with my children and/or even lay down with them to get them to go to sleep (and getting up once they finally drifted off). I would not let him have naps after 3:30, though or he will never go to sleep at night. You may want to be sure he has a full tummy, cut out fruit juice and sugars before nap time, make sure he gets exercise in the morning (tire him out) but turn it down and let him wind down before nap time. good luck I know it's hard; I have 4 like that ages 4 and under.

I've always been amazed at how little sleep my son gets compared to other children. One great remedy that I have used is a cup of warm milk with a teaspoon of honey and a drop of vanilla. I try and give it to him around 7:30ish and he'll be out no later than 8:30 (Praise God!) and I stick to a night schedule