Please Help - Buffalo,NY

Updated on December 09, 2013
M.M. asks from Buffalo, NY
14 answers

Please help! My 3.5 month old will not sleep during the day or at night. Last night he was up 10-12 times, practically every 45 minutes. We finally got him settled at 5:30 and he slept for 2 hours. He has now been awake for going on 7 hours. I have tried white noise, swaddling, rocking, wearing, swinging. The car is out because he hates the car seat too! I am out of ideas and at a loss on what to do. He has slept like this for the past four nights/days. I am losing my mind. He was checked on Tuesday at the doctor, no ear infection. I can't see that this is healthy for him, but I have no more ideas. Could something else be wrong with him. Can anyone help, please?

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So What Happened?

He is crying when he wakes.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know if this will help, but my dd used to fall asleep while in a front pack I wore. I would go about my business and the constant motion would put her to sleep.
How about a bath? that usually works if you have a night time routine that includes one.

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M.B.

answers from Reading on

Possible dairy protein intolerance. Sounds like my second daughter - she was up every 15 minutes when she did sleep and there were times when she was awake for 9 hours straight, just screaming. If you are breastfeeding, try cutting out all dairy and check ingredient labels because dairy is in a lot of things that you wouldn't expect. It will take about 2 weeks for the dairy to be completely out of your system so don't expect any improvement in the first few days. If you are using formula, try switching to a dairy free formula. Good luck!

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J.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi Maria,
My LO when he was that small...he also did not sleep for more than a few hours at a time....and usually he slept better if someone held him...

I know this is not what you want to hear. and I am sure your LO had different habits until now.

I guess I just wanted to share that the hardest part of being a mom for me is knowing that so much about my child is unpredictable....and what is good or habit for one...is not perhaps for another.

Try holding him a bit....then put him down....i know this can be cumbersome...especially when we are tired....I used to have a friend come and hold him in the day so I could rest....

and know...that this too shall pass

I hope this helps a bit to expand your portfolio of options as you sort this out. It will all be fine.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Maria,

is he screaming?
is he crying?
Or is he just awake?

He's 4 months old. It's possible that he is starting to teeth and is uncomfortable. Is he drooling more?

Stop trying so much stuff. Stick to ONE thing for at least a week. He might be getting TOO much stimulation.

He might be too hot.
The car seat? Check that the straps are not cutting into him. It could be too tight. They need to be snug but NOT tight. There's a difference. And if he sees you stressing over it? Putting him in and knows you are NOT comfortable? He will react to that as well. He will also react to YOUR stress.

If you are home with him during the day, can your husband take over for a few hours when he gets home so that you can take a nap? Go for a walk...something...YOU need a break too.

Ask a friend to come over and sit with you or even take over for a few hours so you can sleep.

If you are really in Buffalo, I'm sure it's too cold to put him in the stroller and go for a walk...so instead....get to the Mall. Yes. The Mall. You don't have to buy anything. You can walk around the mall...it's in doors...you will see people and he might be able to fall asleep.

You WILL get through this. The first year is the hardest year. Slow down. Ask for help from people you trust...ask for someone to come sit with you or him...you need a break too...

Good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Bloomington on

Since you mentioned he hates his car seat , it could be reflux. He could be uncomfortable & waking. Maybe try propping him up a bit & see if that helps.

1 mom found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

You don't really mention if he's upset or crying while he's awake.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's good you had his ears checked.
That was the first thing I thought of.
Could be teething pain or colic.
Monitor for symptoms and check his temperature often in case something is developing but hasn't been detected yet.
What about acid reflux?
Does he feel better laying down or when he's upright?
Is he breastfed or formula fed?
If breastfed have you changed anything in your diet (might he be reacting to something you ate if it came through into your milk)?
Does he eat and does it get better or worse after he eats?
I'd think about taking him back to the Dr to check for other possible sources of discomfort.
Does a warm bath help to settle him at all?
Keep checking him but if you are starting to feel at the end of your rope then you need to get a sitter for him so you can take breaks and get some rest.
Poor baby must be as exhausted as you are and he can't tell you what's hurting him.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

At 12 weeks, their sleeping becomes more like ours. This means you have to gradually teach your child how to fall asleep. The first essential ingredient is getting baby to bed before baby is overtired. Overtired babies will just cry and cry and cry, till exhausted. At that point, they pass out. But because they are overtired, they only sleep a short while. Sleep begets sleep.

Second, it's time to start a real routine. You need to set the stage for sleep, and then follow it consistently so baby knows what to expect. Our simple routine is: turn on noise machine, change diaper/put on sleep sack. Read a book, sing a song, go in crib. While teaching her to sleep, I would nurse to help get her sleepy. I would put her in her crib awake, and just keep on urging till drowsy, putting down, until she fell asleep.

What you haven't tried, it sounds like, is a quiet room. Babies can get over stimulated, so at nap time--and naps develop on a schedule at 3 months- you need to help baby relax by providing a quiet, mellow environment. This will mean lots of hours in a dark room singing, rocking baby. After a week, baby should be able to put baby to sleep with little help. It's a rough few weeks, but if you hang in there and don't start any bad habits, baby should learn how to self-sooth with very little crying. Pm me for more information if you want. It takes me 1-2week at this age to get my babies self-soothing. Now is when I introduce a transitional object too.

But really,what's going on is that your baby doesn't sleep out of necessity anymore. Newborns sleep when they need to, thus the phrase sleeping like a baby. At 12 weeks, their rhythms become like ours, so after a sleep cycle, they wake up --we do too every night, we just roll over and continue sleeping.

The first thing you should do is get a schedule doing. Wake baby at the same time every morning, and put down for a nap an hour and 15 minutes later, at the longest. This will help jump start a good routine.

I have to go now, but there is nothing wrong. You have an overtired baby that is asking to be helped to learn how to self-sooth.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

At around that age, our DS started crying non stop. We used Ferber. It worked for us. Ferber had the fringe benefit of stretching out the amount of time between feedings, so DS ate better and longer and was more full and better able to sleep.

Lean on someone, anyone to mind your child long enough for you to get 4-6 hours of sleep straight for a few days straight. You can go batty without it.

Best,
F. B.

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R..

answers from San Antonio on

Like 2KidMama my oldest was like this...it was like one day around six weeks old he just woke up and has (as we joke) never gone to sleep again.

I literally thought I would lose my mind from sleep deprivation I was up 72 hours with him once and started to hallucinate. No one understood because they had never hear of a child that did this, I think they thought I was exaggerating. I wasn't!!

He is wicked smart and an amazing artist (placed second in a state art contest at 7 yrs old...out of 60,000 entries). He is also a very sensitive soul, he feels things more and on a level that is hard for me to understand. Dr. Greenspan has a book on unusual personality type children and after I read that it gave me peace about him being a personality that is less than 1% of the population.

Anyways, back to your situation...my husband and I devised a plan to allow me some sleep. When my husband got home I went to bed and slept from 6pm until midnight...my husband handled him during those hours. Starting at midnight he was mine again until the next evening at 6pm when I went to bed. So at least I was guaranteed six hours of straight sleep. Oh and ferberizing/CIO didn't work on him either...well we got about a four hour window instead of 20 to 40 minutes...but never all night...now he is 9 and still wakes up multiple times, but he can mostly handle those himself (usually by coming and getting in bed with us...but at least we are sleeping). And he still wants someone to keep him company until he falls asleep.

My second started sleeping up to 8 hours a night at about six weeks old or younger. She falls asleep with in minutes of her head touching the pillow, and sleeps all night. They are night and day in the sleep department!!

Good luck!!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Babies this age wake up all night long. That's just what they do.....

I would think he'd sleep a little longer but he's supposed to be waking up to eat every few hours. Seriously, most baby's don't sleep all night until they're much much older. Getting 3-4 hours of sleep solid is a blessing to most parents of kiddo's this age.

It could also be a growth spurt, it could be his formula isn't agreeing with him, if he's breast fed it could be what you're eating, and more. He may be getting gassy from what he's taking in. My granddaughter ate broccoli one time, one time in her life, she was a young toddler, and she was up all night screaming. It gave her such bad gas! She has never tried it again.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Some babies are just like this. My first was like this. He would be up all night long...every hour or so. When he was 1 we did the cry it out method with him but it never worked. However it did teach him to sleep for 3 hours at a time which was a blessing after a year of being up constantly. He always had a hard time with sleep and going to sleep on his own. I think he finally became a really good sleeper about the time he started school. He finally could go to sleep without wanting us with him at age 7. My 2nd child was not like this at all. I will say that my son (my poor sleeper) has a very sensitive personality. Things bother him. He's a very strong willed and stubborn child...but he's also incredibly smart. When he was an infant (your son's age) he did make me lose my mind! I got no sleep for a year. Then very little sleep for the year after that. I had ZERO short term memory. I know he started teething early and it really, really bothered him. So that might have been one reason. I know he was and is extremely sensitive. I tried a million different things, talked to doctors, etc. Nothing worked except time.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Only thing I could think is possibly colic or gas? My first son had that BAD and as he'd cry or scream, he'd draw his little legs up (think frog legs). I tried every brand on earth but the one that worked the best, the fastest, the longest, was Tiny Tummies (Babies R Us or Walmart, maybe Walgreens but I can't remember for sure). I gave him the dose and he would just moan and suck on it, thank me with his eyes, and go to sleep. I'd also give him "warm" (warm for infants) baths to help ease him. He grew out of it, but Tiny Tummies was my best friend in those months. Also, perhaps one of those vibrating infant chairs, on the vibrate setting (a bouncer or whatever it's called?)---upon advice from a friend for my 2nd child (who didn't like the swing or carseat), I went on craigslist and bought a used one for $20. We used it until he grew out of it, and then sold it for $20 on craigslist again. That's all I an suggest. Hope it gets better fast, for both of you!

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Did he just get his vaccines on Tue. at his last visit? If so, thats your answer. he may not be feeling well after vaccines. Mine is going through the same thing. Hang in there. Have dad give a bottle (even if he is BF) to give yourself some sleep. Even if you don't cosleep, this may be a good time to sleep with him until he is feeling better. Baby is feeling extra needy.
Mine just had second round of vaccines this Tue. I finally gave in to 1ml of benedryl to help him sleep (he also had mucus making it hard for him to breath). That is not recommended by any Dr., to be clear. But yesterday I got desperate after he had not slept more than 10 min the whole day. It worked well and he finally got the nap he so desperately needed. Best of luck.

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