Please Explain - Occoquan,VA

You aren't wrong for thinking this, but I am guessing this woman doesn't know how to be happy with herself so she's running around looking for temporary solutions to long term problems. Having all those children with so many fathers is probably because she is trying to find someone to love her and doesn't know what that really looks like. I feel sorry for her children, because they may not know what it looks like either. I would imagine it feels hopeless for the kids as well as the mom. What a sad situation for them all.

I just don't understand why people think its okay to party like teenagers when they have kids. I'm not judging. I just don't get it and want to scream GROW UP already!! Those parties are a distant memory. I taught a little boy with a mom like her. The multiple dads were long gone. It was so sad and frustrating. This woman is despicable. I just hope the kids grow up to be productive, successful individuals in spite of their reckless, selfish mom.
I believe things happen for a reason and you are aware of this for a reason. It may be the gossip around town but someone needs to step up and watch out for the kids. That may be just asking who babysits for her like someone else said. Hopefully a responsible adult is taking care of them. Thank you for caring.

As a person who has actually been in Foster Care, I say think long and hard before reporting this to the authorities.

Do you know for certain the kids are left alone? Are they truly being neglected OR is your contempt for her lifestyle coloring your judgment?

You state that she hasn't worked in a long time...so does that mean that she is home taking care of her kids all week and lets loose on the weekends?

~No, I personally do not agree with this lifestyle and am not this type of person...I grew out of my "Partying" stage at 19...WAY before I even had my kids...but that does NOT give me THE RIGHT to judge others!

There's a terrific poster I've seen of a huge, sinking ocean liner. The text underneath reads, "Some people's whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others." I've learned, slowly and painfully, that I can't condemn a person for what they don't understand, blame them for the apparent lack of good parenting they received, or teach them what is right.

I have played a lot of "Ain't It Awful!" in my life, and caused myself a lot of grief worrying about what "should" be, but is not. Arguing with reality makes me a loser, every time. If I see a situation that I HAVE some chance of changing, I will do my best. But most situations are realisitcally beyond my reach. What I CAN change is myself, so I work on me. That's a lifetime's work right there. And who knows who might be accidentally influenced by my efforts?

I have old classmates (single and married) whose Facebook updates are always about partying, bar hopping, weekend trips, ect... and I'm always thinking, Where are those poor kids? I love my kids so much that I actually enjoy spending our weekends and evenings with them, most of the time. I feel horrible that those people are choosing beer and bars over their kids, it is so sad!

I will never understand this kind of mother. We never even go to dinner without atleast one of our 3 kids(servers love us..lol) I hate leaving them. How do you leave 5 kids? How does a single mom have the money to go out period? My husband makes pretty good money and we can't afford nights on the town on a regular basis and I could find a million other things to spend my money on. I wouldn't say anything to her she is not going to change her ways. Her kids may be better off without her unless a 12yo is watching them. Maybe try to find out who is watching her kids in a sly kind of way. You could always ask her who she uses as a babysitter like you might need one. What would calling the police do? Foster care can be awful. All the kids may be split up. Is she abusing them or neglecting them other than going out all the time? It's hard to watch someone make bad choices and not say somehting and knowing if you do speak up it won't do any good. I go through this with my sister all the time over other issues and keeping my mouth shut has the same effect as speaking up.

Are the kids in an immediate danger? If not then it's none of your concern. Do I agree with it? NO, but it's not your life to live. If you have the address you can call the police on a night you know she is out for a wellness check saying you think 5 young children are home unatended can you please check in on them?

If this woman is going out clubbing, and leaving 4 children, one of which is a newborn, in the care of a TWELVE year old, she should be reported! That is most certainly neglect. A 12yo doesn't have the maturity to handle any # of situations that could come up. WTH?!! A crying newborn can be hard enough for an adult to handle- but a 12 yo? What if someone broke in, or if there was a fire? A 12yo shouldn't be responsible for the lives of those children. I hope this woman isn't "medicating" those children so they'll sleep when she' out partying! That sometimes happens.
Even if you suspect these children are being left w/ the 12 yo, those poor kids have no real voice- please report it.

If you are worried about the welfare of her kids, call child services. Otherwise I would stay out. She will be the one to deal with the reprocusions (spelling) of having non productive adults....then again sounds like she is not ..hence the saying "the apple doesnt fall too far from the tree"
I agree with you...I dont think she should be out partying, but I am non confrontational. However I would intervine if I thought those kids were home by themselves.

If you think the children may be being left home alone, you can call. Laws vary on who can be a caregiver and for whom and for how long.

I think "parents" like that need to get themselves some permanent birth control. Five kids, she's 29 and one might be 12? That means she got pregnant with him when she was 16 or 17. There are deep issues there. Maybe since she lost her teen/young 20 years when most people do the party thing she clings to them every chance she gets.

I know the situation sucks, I have experienced this also. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do, and If you are that concerned, do what Kristina said and call the police when you think she is out. I am not sure what the age for babysitting is where you are, but you can always have the police take care of it.

No it's not right. But there's nothing you can do about it, unless they are abused.

This reminds me of one of the most thought-provoking movies I've ever seen. Everyone watch "Gone Baby Gone" with Ben Affleck. Wow. What a movie.

Wonderinghow you know this person and hoping she is not your friend. I wouldn't say anything b/c I doubt she would listen. I would just avoid her.

Oh-and I hope us taxpayers are not supporting this lifestyle.

I hate to say it but I think you should report her. I'm not taking that lightly but it sounds like those children could be in harm's way. If there is more to the situation and the children are fine, let CPS clear her and that's that. Either way, at least you will know you didn't sit by idly while those children were neglected.

Everyone lives their lives the way they want to. Of course I don't agree with the multiple children with different fathers, partying all w/e etc. But that's the way she lives. I'm sure your not the first one that wanted to ring her neck for being that way she is, but what can you do. A person like that isn't ready nor wants to hear what you or anyone has to say. She stubborn and selfish.

It's shocking. I'm nauseous just thinking about those poor children.