Please, Advice Needed for a 7Yr Old 2Nd Grader.

Hey M. ~
This may seem VERY simple-minded but my daughter has had some behavioral issues in school as well, and I find that more than half the time she is "dared" by other kids to do or say things. She is also in 2nd grade but is 8 yrs old. When you ask him why he does things, what is his response? Sadly, kids will do ANYTHING to fit in even at this young age. If that is a road you have not gone down, perhaps it is worth a look. As far as his ADHD I can understand that you don't want to disclose this to his school, but if they knew perhaps they could come up with a program that would work for him. Sometimes ADHD kids just require that little extra and it really helps them get on the right path. Best of luck.
~ L.

I think you answered your own question when you said you're keeping his ADHD a secret from the school. They're treating him like he has no issues and expecting him to behave as such. It's not fair to your son and it's not fair to the teachers. You really need to be open and honest so you have good communication with the school. You're just setting your son up for failure. If he feels you're ashamed of his diagnosis or he needs to keep quiet about it, he'll never accept it himself and live in denial without getting the help he actually needs. I have to say you may have your personal reasons, but all you're doing is harming your son. Tell the school he has ADHD, get an IEP so he gets the help he needs. If he needs to go on meds, then go on meds. As a mother, your top priority is to help your kids succeed. ADHD is not a "discipline problem", he needs more than just time outs or whatever else you've tried.
My 9 year old son is high-functioning autistic, has ADHD, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, OCD, Anxiety Disorder and Mood Disorders and is a very successful 3rd grader because his teachers and I are on the same page and in constant communication about how he'll best benefit from his school environment. You should try it.

M.,
What to do- well I am not a big fan of public school for many reasons. In most cases children are expected to sit in their seats all day long and be quiet. A child with ADHD or any child for that matter is asking alot. Kids need to get up and move around, especially boys. He might need to be warned ahead of time before things change in the classroom- like going from one subject to the next so he can allow himself to transition. Visit my blog:http://healthyhouse4u.blogspot.com/

I have my own story with my son and there is a reference in that blog for the out of sync child. Great book I also would like to recommend reading "Raising the Spirited child" There is alot of great information that will guide you with helping your son.

I don't blame you for keeping your sons ADHD quiet, however they might be better able to understand your child's behavior if they know. In most cases remember that teachers are not trained in ADHD or special needs children in a regular class setting. Going with an IEP would put your child into the special ed program and I strongly advise you check it out thourghly before going that route. It all depends on the district you live in.. Hope this helps, C.

This sounds like my six year old before we started ADHD treatment for him. I tried everything besides medication as well, and I wish I could tell you different, but after three years of trying, medication was the only thing that's given us a positive result. I don't know if your son is medicated or not, but I would definitely consult your doctor to see if behavioral therapy or medication might be right for him.

Hi M.,
This was like reading my own story, it breaks my heart. I have an 11 yr old ADHD son in the 6th grade, It has been a nightmare with school, meds (which I took him off of meds), I dont know why you dont talk to the teacher about his ADHD but I'll be willing to bet she already knows. But thats ok, you do what you feel is best for your son, I have seen the recomendations for getting an IEP, I got my son on one and it is wonderful for his learning, and his self esteme, I'm having problems as we speek with my son and his resource teacher, it is like they just rub each other the wrong way, and I dont know what to say because I know my son can be exausting, Anyway, what I'd like to recomend you check into is something that has been such a miracle in my life with my son, it doesnt take away his ADHD or his problems, but it helps me to know what to do in those heart breaking, frusturating, exausting (or what ever)situations we are faced with when it comes to children (any child, not just ADHD but has worked great for his ADHD) and that's a program called "Parenting with Love and Logic", there's Parenting toddlers, children and teens (It even works on my boyfriend) actually I think it just works on me, it has keept head clear, and actually made me excited for my son to make mistakes, because there concept is "Have your child learn from as many mistakes while the price tag is still small" so now when he makes a mistake, I think "Oh yea, another oppurtunity for him to learn for when he grows up and is out in the real world". I could go on and on forever with it because I know what its like to have such a broken heart seeing my son struggle so bad in school, whether its his social life, grades, coping skills, or what ever, and how Love and Logic has helped our family. Im always posting stories to other moms about my experiance before and after, the web site is http://www.loveandlogic.com or for articles to read online http://www.loveandlogic.com/articles.html and just check it out and see if its something that might work for you, there's a ton of info on there web site, there's a story you can listen to somewhere too. I've been studying L&L for over 4 years and have bought tons of litrature, Its been worth every penny. Good luck to you and your darling son.

M..... Curious why do you keep it disclosed from the school? reason being my son is also severe ADHD and struggles with severe opositional behavior.it's been very helpful for the teachers to know of his condition so they can work with him more on a one to one level.
please write back..
S.

That sounds so difficult M.. My son is 11 and does not have ADHD but is so affected by teachers. I would definitely try to change teachers if that is an option. My son has an ornery one right now and he is sensitive and it brings him down so much - it drives me crazy. I wish some teachers just wouldn't teach.
It may sound weird but like one other person said, ADHD can be caused by food allergies. I have found that my son is allergic to corn (which is in everything!!) and when he has a lot of it like today - I allowed him a natural cereal but it had corn in it - he was sooo hyper!! I was shocked at the difference in him. He isn't really hyper all the time but maybe a bit on edge sometimes and when he is off of it completely, I'm amazed at how calm he is.
Good luck to you. I don't know if the not disclosing thing is about meds but I hate giving children meds and would only do it as a last resort. Not to say it is a bad choice for others, just not my choice. I hope you find "your" right answers!!

That sounds so frustrating, mabey his body and mind is re-acting in this way to something in his environment or something physical that you don't know about.
HIS BEHAVIOR COULD BE CONSIDERED AN ALLERGIC REACTION.
You could try to use an alternative method called NAET Nambudripad's Allergy Elimination Techniques. Like; Old Chinese methods, kinesiology, acupuncture/ acupressure, nutritional management, and a specific type of spinal manipulative procedure from chiropractic to accomplish ALLERGY ELIMINATION. You can learn more about it at http://www.naet.com . You can contact Kimberly Wagstaff, RN, NAET Certified in Allergy and Pain Relief. ####-###-#### or email ____@____.com KINESIOLOGY WILL HELP YOU TO KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM COULD BE STEMMING FROM. Just take some time to talk to her. She is very nice and respectful. She could help you find someone in your area for you to go to.

Hi M.,

You would help him more by being honest with the school and teachers, so they can work at his level. If he start falling (misbehaving, kids with ADHD are not usually getting the best grades) behind now it only going to get harder for him. If you don't want him on meds then discuss with the doctor, teacher and school about other alternatives. He may need a IEP (Individual Education Program, I think is what its called) I have worked as a special ed para and kid with ADHD, ADD usually need extra attention. Not all kids in special ed look like they belong there(they are not all "retarded"), most of them look "normal" but just need help apart from the regular class. Sometime it Autism, or dislexsia (not sure how to spell it) Maybe check into moving him to a different teacher, or school even. If you ignore behavioral problem (or any kind) they are not going to get better by themselves, only worse. Again, I repeat talk to the teacher, and doctors and whoever else and get him help before its get worse.