Pint Sized Packrats

Oh yes. My ex's son is that way.

My own boys have been taught from a very young age that if it's broken beyond repair, we throw it away. When it's not used, beautiful, or loved, we throw it away.

We don't just keep stuff to keep it.

But my ex's son would keep every little thing. I finally realized that the only way past this is to allow him to keep a few things, but throw out most of them while he's gone.

For the school papers, you might try allowing them to save ONE school paper per month, and then at the end of the year, they can go through those and save the very best of the lot (say 4 at the most, unless it's actual artwork like pottery).

For the art projects, perhaps you could allow an "art box." Once the art box is full and they want to add to it, they have to throw out stuff to make room. Only what fits in the art box stays.

Best of luck!

This was my sister. My mother would not allow us to keep broken toys or toys that were missing too many parts. Period. This was a non negotiable.

As for letting go of books or toys, my mom learned to grab the toys that outgrown, ignored or forgotten. She would keep them for a month or so. If they were asked for, she'd suddenly "find it" and return the item. The other things were donated. Mom did not sneak them out of the house, she told my sister. It usually resulted in tears, but my mom was firm.

School papers were the worst! My sister would hide those suckers everywhere. I remember my mother finding a huge garbage sack stuffed full of school papers. She was a hoarder at age 8! So my mother came up with a system. All school papers went into a basket. At the end of the week, my sister had to go through and toss some of the papers. At the end of the month, my mom would let her choose 10 to keep. They then went into a hanging file folder (milk crate style). At the end of the school year, they went through it again.

And the junk wasn't really allowed. My mom gave my sister a basket to put that sort of stuff. If it didn't fit in the basket, something had to go.

My sister was like this for a long time. I remember that in her first apartment she even kept a broken boom box given to her in middle school, because it was a nice keepsake of that person. We were worried about her. But when she moved out, she slowly started to realize she didn't need to keep every little thing. She's still a little more sentimental than the rest of us, but she no longer keeps every scrap of paper or sentimental item.

My daughter struggled with this for a while. We talked to her about it and actually showed her the show "Hoarders", since I enjoy it as a guilty pleasure. Now she understands why you can't keep everything. She often asks me to take a picture of something before we recycle it or give it away. She loves having her room neat and clean and we're finding less and less "treasures" under her bed and dresser. I go through her clothes and straighten up her closet often. We also have a special art folder for her, a temporary art bin for things she might recycle and a treasure box for long-term storage in the garage. These things really help her understand that she can keep some things that are really special from her childhood, but not everything.

For things they might turn into art projects, I'd give it a time limit. If they will use it within a month, then hold on to it. I just told my kids that they need to say goodbye to a similar item by the end of the school year (a lego diorama for school). Plenty of time to enjoy it and then we'll take a picture and dismantle it. She has been fine with these time limits. And as long as she has some control over those decisions it has been fine.

My son has the same tendencies. He doesn't want to let go of anything that has a pleasant memory wrapped up in it - "But mom, I LOVED that when I was little!" In his case, I've discovered that it helps if I give his outgrown stuff to people he knows. He enjoyed packing up his toddler books for his younger cousin, and has been willing to give outgrown toys to our church nursery because he knows the little kids who play with them. Sharing that way makes him happy. Donating his things and not knowing where they went does not.

As for school artwork and such, each of my kids has their own memory box (one of those long boxes that you can slide under a bed, intended for clothing storage) in which they can keep things like that. They have to make decisions about what goes and what stays, because the memory box is the only place where things like that are allowed to be.

I have managed to convince him that toys are not forever things, and that broken toys have to be thrown out. It was a hard sell.

Good luck.

Our youngest has those natural inclinations, and it's especially difficult for him and for the rest of us because my husband, oldest son, and I are all exceptionally neat, organized, and clutter-free. This tends to make our youngest (8yo) feel like he doesn't fit in, and I hate that. We've struggled through some issues.

Here is what HAS worked. If I know that something truly is important to him, I don't mess with it. He has to keep it put away whenever he isn't using it (whatever "it" is), but I don't ever suggest getting rid of it. As for other things that tend to pile up, toys and such, we go through them together, making "keep," "donate," and "trash" piles. We volunteer at our church regularly throughout the summer, helping those in need, so he has a clear understanding of those less fortunate than we are, so he is willing to give away toys he hasn't played with in awhile. I just have to start the process. We do this every season, so four times a year. After we've made the piles, he goes with me to take them to the church to donate, or to the trash if the toys are to much of a mess to give away. It's a good experience for him each time.

As for school projects and art creations, he can put whatever he wants on the fridge, or on a bulletin board, but it can't be over-crowded. If it's full and he wants to put something up, then he must choose something to take down and throw it away before he can put something up. I take pictures of big school projects and save them on a file on my computer. I don't print them out. He also has a camera, so he takes pictures of creations he loves. This has worked very well for us.

As for art supplies, well, that's something we do have tons of. Our oldest son is almost 15, and we've learned that kids do TONS of projects. I'm a teacher, too, so I need supplies from time to time as well, although I prefer computer projects. We have a cabinet in the kitchen dedicated to storing art supplies. Both boys know they can go there anytime they need/want to work on an art project. I don't allow them to save scrap paper, though. They must recycle that.

The only thing we still struggle with as far as our youngest is concerned (with clutter) is what to do with all of the Legos. I swear our house is being taken over by Legos! I love that he is so into Legos; it inspires such creativity, but OMG, there are so many Legos in my house! We have them fairly well contained on bookcases and in containers in his room. He takes them out and brings them into the living room to play with them every single day (he wants to be where we are, and I love that), but he is good about putting them away. He's getting more Legos for Christmas, though, and I don't know where we will put them. I'm sure we'll figure it out, but wow, there are a lot of Legos.

Sorry this got so long. I hope it helps some. :)

I haven't read the other responses, but my daughter is 5, and is much the same way. Even when I use the approach of her getting new things because we got money selling the old things, she doesn't bite. She has a friend who will happily get rid of old stuff to get new stuff, but not her. She also wants to save every drawing, every piece of paper she's ever made a mark on, etc.

My approach with her has been to just get rid of stuff when she is not around - she doesn't even notice. But if you don't think that will work with your kids, than you need to give them the means to keep things organized. And also a deadline - if stuff for art projects is not used within a certain number of days, it gets tossed. Stuff from school gets tossed after 1 week unless it's something that you personally decide to keep. No new toys or books until they decide to sell or donate the old ones - including birthdays and Christmas!

I guess it depends on the age of the child - but you approach the problem by not telling them! They are children, you are the adult. If they are holding on to that much stuff, they probably won't notice things missing in small doses. I do this with my kids all the time. I do a sweep of the house when they are not around, and donate and throw things out.

And if they do notice, that is okay too. Treat it as a learning experience. Explain that you are going to donate toys and books to kids less fortunate. Have them pick out a certain amount of toys each month/year they then can give away. Don't make it an option.

My daughter. I have had to clean her room while she was at school. didn't even seem to miss anything but had she seen it when I was cleaning, she would cry and have an all out tantrum. My son is so bad right now I can't even get in his room to kiss him goodnight. I've had it! I beg and plead and still nothing happens. Starting today, while they were at school, I started cleaning rooms. I will spend one hour a day in each child's room. Once they are clean, I will go in everyday and pick up whatever is on the floor. Can't be too important if they leave it on the floor to be stepped on and broken. Perhaps it sounds harsh but I've tried so many other ways and this is my last resort.

Pack rats today... The reality Show Hoarders Tomorrow.. Stop them now..

I have an almost grown son with 4 bookcases full of books and a kindle.

When my kids were younger I would have to let things hide for a while and then they "disappeared".

My kids never saved for an art project....I did and still do! I have my own art chest of drawers.
You can take a picture of some stuff or scan it and save it.

Not as yet, as our DS is only 2, and hasn't shown any such proclivity. I would however handle it by instituting some whole house rules.

1. cull, discard broken, unused, unwanted,items.
2. a place for everything and everything in its place.
3. further reduce multiples (only 1 box of crayons in use at any given time).
4. if it isn't put away by x time, it must not be wanted/ cared for/ respected enough to be kept.
5. implement even exchanges. if the limit you've imposed is 10 craft supplies, no more get to be purchased/ kept/ acquired until there are less than 10 in the caddy.
6. abide by the rules yourself.

make sure that there isn't some unmet emotional need/ need for recognition, need for individuality, need for attention that is undermining this packrat behavior. if so, be sure to tend to that need, so that your young packrat doesn't have his/her sense of self undermined in your purging process.

good luck to you and yours,
F. B.