Pink Shoes and Boys

Updated on August 04, 2011
J.M. asks from Chesapeake, VA
27 answers

My 2 boys, ages 4 1/2 and 3, need slippers for their Montessori classrooms. Looking online, they both saw pink shoes and said they wanted them. My first instinct was to tell them "no'. I try not to stereotype at all (girls can do this, boys can't do that, etc) but I am worried about their friends making fun of them (mostly the older boy). I am open to all suggestions and input...for right now, I just told them We have to see if any are available. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all of your input. I spoke to their teachers today about my concerns...they didn't think it would be an issue at all, but they said if it was, they would use it as an opportunity to teach acceptance and tolerance and kindness. I love the Montessori approach! Anyway, I told the boys on the way home today that all colors were available, and they said "yeah, we can get pink!". We are ordering our pink shoes tonight:). And I thought with all boys I would never see pink! Thanks everyone! Jennifer S., my oldest son said all the girls will love his shoes now lol

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

I think that when they get to school and see that the other boys are mostly wearing colored shoes that are not pink, they'll want different ones. I would not get them pink slippers...just go with boys slippers.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm all for not banning gender-specific toys for boys OR girls, but, to tell you the truth, I would not set up my son for that kind of potential ridicule.

ETA: There's a big difference between a grown man wearing a pink tie or oxford shirt and an almost 5 year old wearing pink fuzzy slippers to school.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

i say let them have them...pink isn't just for girls!!!

My dad, hubby and several of my male friends wear pink!!!

1 mom found this helpful

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

I am all for keeping my kids open to things outside of the norm but I would probably keep looking with my boys at other slippers before I bought pink. I am sure each of them has their own love, i.e., cars, bugs, etc. Maybe you can just redirect them.

I guess if my sons were older and understood what they could potentially be up against I wouldn't think twice. Wear pink all you want, but as a little guy, they have no concept of what is what in the social arena and could really be hurt by others at such a tender age.

5 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

The 80's are back. Pink is on boys EVERYWHERE. Hot pink. Pastel. Sparkly unicorn in the sky making rainbows for the world pink. Men's dress shirts, teen's shirts and pants and laces and shoes Your boys have unintentionally just become very fashion forward. ((I'm not, i just have a fashion photographer as a close friend and live a few blocks from a middle school, highschool, and university.)) The Pink Panther is out with a vengeance. Think Pink.

Here, btw, is one of the CUTEST phrases I've ever heard out of a toddler mouth. A little boy with hair down to his waist whose parents are pals. All 3 of us (his parents and me) BURST out laughing, which then cemented the phrase forever (first time they'd heard it either). He's 9 now and he still shrugs and says it, and has for years. Although the lisp is gone.

"I'm secure in my mathculinity."

4 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

I guess I'm probably in the minority but I would say don't do it. I have raised one to maturity and have 3 to go. They have enough to worry about without added pressure of adding pink to the mix at this tender stage.

3 moms found this helpful

C.D.

answers from Columbia on

I coach soccerand this summer we played in a league with 16-19 year olds (my son is 14 but played up) and the hot trend for soccer cleats for the guys was pink and lavender. One of the boys we saw even had a hot pink sports bag to match his hot pink and purple shoes! Apparently these are the most expensive shoes at the sporting goods store right now. Go figure. My son didn't want them, but I saw a lot of guys wearing them and the only ones doing any teasing were the girls.
One year my son had a pink and black batting glove and I was worried what people would say, but I let it be his choice. A few great hits later no one had a single bad thing to say. He thought it looked cool so I let it ride. The next year he picked something different. He is a masculine boy and felt confident enough in himself to wear what he wanted.
I would do with the slippers the same thing I would do with anything else. Show them lots of choices with different styes and colors and then let them choose. They may find something else they like better and they may not. But either way, the color of their slippers isn't a determining factor in the manliness. It's just a color they like today.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is 5. His favorite color is pink. All last year he took a HOT pink and zebra striped backpack to school. No one made fun of him. In fact I was there when some other BOYS said they likes his backpack. I have heard ONE kid tell him pink is a girl color when my 5yo told him his favorite color was pink and my son said "no it's not it is my favorite color". Let your kids be who they are...it is just a color.

L.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

There might be teasing, although I imagine preschoolers are unlikely to tease about such a thing, but the 5-6 year olds might. However, I think this would be handled really well in a montessori classroom where there is so much focus on grace and courtesy and kindness. I suggest letting them pick, and dealing with the fallout later if there is even. Let them know you support their feelings and creativity and taste... if anyone is going to inhibit them, it shouldn't start with you.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Naples on

I say let them have the pink shoes.
Have you ever noticed how it's just fine for girls to play with boy's toys...wear boyish clothes....blue stuff....etc....but it's considered unacceptable for the opposite to occur?
Or why names that were traditionally boy's names, often become girls names (ie. Shannon...Dana...many many others), but NEVER the other way around?
It seems harmless enough...but if you really think about it, it's because anything Feminine is regarded as less valuable, in our culture/society.
We teach our boys it's shameful to identify with anything feminine...and by extension - we are teaching them WE are shameful. (their mothers).
It's very sad.
Let him have the pink shoes - send a message that "girl stuff" and therefore women are just fine - rather than sending the message that we are shameful.
My opinion.

1 mom found this helpful

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

As a teacher, here is my no holds barred, honest answer: Only buy them if your kids are wll liked enough to pull it off. The most popular boy in class could easily get away with it and even get compliments! The least popular boy in class will be teased to no end and have to hear about it the rest of the year, maybe even longer.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Roanoke on

I say go for it. I work at the Hot Topic in my mall, and today had a little boy come in looking at a penguin book bag that his mother was at first just determined not to buy because it was on the girls side of the store. We had it over there because our alcove where the rest of the bookbags were was full, and it was a unisex book bag. His mom was worried about him being picked on. If it was a pink shirt or pants I could see it as being a big deal, but not shoes. That and kids grow fast :) they'll have them only long enough to make sure you can't return them to the store then they'll need a bigger size :P

1 mom found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I thought I'd share some info related to the answers given by A.B. and Margie M.

For anyone who wants to read about the little study conducted by 20/20 (that Margie M. mentioned) here's the link: http://abcnews.go.com/US/gender-roles-young-boys-pink-blu...

A.B.'s answer reminds me of a Smithsonian article that was published a few months ago, called "When Did Girls Start Wearing Pink?" written by Jeanne Maglaty for the April 08, 2011 issue of Smithsonian.com

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/When-Did-Girls...

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

Props to you for raising two kids today that don't yet know at ages 4 1/2 and 3 that "only girls wear pink". I wish my kids weren't so brainwashed by marketing yet. I say let them wear pink. They may come back and want a different color and it may be b/c someone made fun of them, but really your job is to help them deal with issues like that, not avoid them at all costs. The other kids may surprise you to, I find it is usually the adults that say things and won't let it go, kids are pretty flexible.

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L.F.

answers from Norfolk on

I have a 5 yo boy and just to be on the safe side, I wouldn't buy him things that are "girls" colors simply because I don't want him to be teased and I'm seeing even at this age, that can happen.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I see guys in pink all the time, but I don't know if it will be an issue at their age. I would probably ask my husband what he thought about it. I tend to think it won't be a problem bc they aren't like frilly or anything. One thing about kids is they associate things more with gender. Like Barbie is girly and spiderman is boyish. Although, they both play with both. My 4 year old boy is on the couch watching strawberry shortcake as I type ;) Good luck!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It does not matter, who wears pink.
Men or women, boys or girls.
So what.

My Husband wears pink, and looks darn good in it.
I have seen boys in pink and pink shoes, it looks pretty cool.
Its nice.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

When I met my husband in college he wore pink converse most days (and he did throughout high school) AND he rode this big burly pink mountain bike! He was trying to prove that a color should not have a gender stereotype. silly guy. I loved it! Our son loved pink when he was age 3-5 and a half. It was his favorite color and would tell anyone who asked. I heard an older boy say something to him once and he adamantly defended himself. I am guessing it depends on your son's personalities. Will they be upset or cry if teased? Or are they the type to say, So What!!!! like my son is. Do what you are comfortable doing.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Our 41/2 year old has proclaimed pink to be his favorite color. This weekend he did not fall victim to his older sister and her best friend who still love to play in the pretend play box of clothes. He usually ends up going around the whole weekend in dresses and goofy hair because it amuses them. He giggles right along with them.

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son is 5 1/2, and he loves pink.

C.A.

answers from New York on

If you feel that uncomfortable about it, tell them that they don't have their size and that they need to pick out something else. I think that you did the right thing about seeing if they are available. Your right they will get picked on for the pink shoes. Kids can be mean and say things that will hurt. You will just end up buying new ones anyway.
I had that happen to me but in reverse. My 3yr old daughter LOVES Mater from the movie cars. She wanted a set of PJ's and a woman looked at me and said they are for boys don't you think? First of all she likes Mater, second they are PJ's and will be worn at home so who cares. If she wanted them for her school I would have talked her into something else but they were for home so I got them for her.
They are young and won't know that you told a little white lie. When you look for slippers make sure to type in BOYS SLIPPERS and that is all that will come up. Good Luck!

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

One of those 20/20 shows just did a little experiment with bright pink shirts in a preschool setting, 4-6 yo's. Out of 7 boys or so, 2 picked the bright pink shirts, there were enough to go around. THe other boys did not tease them. All the kids were on a hidden camera.
Buy them the slippers.

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J.S.

answers from Tampa on

Have you seen the shirts the older boys in high school are wearing these days? They are bright pink, and say "real men wear pink" I have no idea where they came from, meaning what store, etc...... but they are everywhere. (my guess is probably hollister, abercrombie, etc. since ANYTHING sold at those stors is deemed "cool" to the older kids) I would let your sons wear the pink shoes, and see what happens. My 10 yr old son wanted to take dance classes for a LONG time, so I finally gave in and put him in dance. HIs favorite class is ballet. He LOVES it, and his friends think it's cool. He loves it because he says all the "cute girls" are at dance class. LOL! Smart little boy!

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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

And here all this time I thought I was the only one whose son loved pink. It is his absolute favorite color. He is 4 1/2 and loves pink and sparkly just as much as he loves Spiderman. My two daycare kids, brother and sister 5 and 3 are VERY gender specific in things. Everything pink is for girls and everything blue is for boys. Quite frequently I have to explain that the toys, cups, etc, regardless of color are for everybody. That said, although it may seem hypocritical, I let my son pick whatever he wants but I do steer him away from "girlish" clothing just to make life easier. When shoe shopping when he starts looking longingly at pink shoes I don't necessarily say no, but I really "sell" the boys shoes "look at these! I bet you could run really fast in them!" If it's something to be used strictly at home, I let it go.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

When my son was in preschool they dress up clothes which included red sequined, sparkly "dorothy" slippers. One day he went to class and changed into those and everyone, including the teachers, thought that they were his shoes. All the little boys wanted to wear them. They all wanted a pair.

At this age I don't think other kids will make fun of them. From my experience, when they get to be in kinder and 1st grade that stuff starts...

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with what you've said, i.e. your first instinct, trying to avoid stereotypes, and the possibility of kids making fun of them. I would tell a little white lie and just say the company is out of their size(s).

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Let them have the pink shoes. Don't overprotect them.

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