Picky Eating

Any pediatrician will tell you that it's totally safe to make one meal and tell him "eat it or starve". You shouldn't have to cater to his pickiness and it will only get worse if you continue to make separate meals every time he doesn't like what you want. He will quickly learn to eat what is put in front of him and be glad for it!

Hi S.,
Sorry about that,
You can try Juice Plus. They have gummies that are like fruit snacks but are full of fruits and veggies. There is a website, www.juiceplus.com I give them to my 3 and a half year old because he doesn't eat very many fruits and almost no veggies. Hope it helps. Good Luck, C.

The book "how to get your kid to eat...but not too much" by Ellyn Satter is a great book on the food relationship between parents and kids. It addresses picky eating. My son has other food issues but I think the advice on picky eating is to always put bread on their plate so if they won't eat anything else they at least have that - but you are not supposed to be a short order cook.
Good luck!

Girl, I could have written your post, except my kid is even pickier!!!!
I try the "take 3 bites" rule, but it's miserable for everyone. He hates stuff without ever trying it. If anyone has some good ways, let me know.
I tried the Seinfeldian "slip puree veggies into the foods they like" trick, but while he did't notice a change of taste, he noticed the texture was different. UGH!

The American Academy of Pediatrics has a great book on nutrition and it has a great quote that I will mess up but it goes something like this:

Children will not starve if the miss one or two meals, although parents will treat them as if they will.

i Was raised by parents who would cook me what I wanted for dinner when I didn't like what they were making and they made me (and my sisters) the pickiest eaters in the world. The only thing that saved me was marrying a foodie!

the rule in our house (and my son is 2.5) is you have to try one small bite of everything and if you don't want to eat it then you don't eat but there is nothing else. We always make sure there is at least one thing he will eat, bread, noddle, veggie etc, but that's it. The only exception we made was when he was a little younger and not eating any meat we would cook him tofu in whatever manner our meat was cooked so that he could get some protein. We also have one day a week (usually Friday) where he can pick anything he wants for dinner. My husband limits it to "dinner" food but I will make him eggs or waffles.

You are not a short order cook and life is hard enough with our cooking two meals. By not giving in you will be teaching him about balanced meals and how to be gracious to a host by trying something and politely declining. Which will be good for his future.

My son is very picky as well, though he's quite a bit younger (my son is three). What works for us though is to limit the amount we give him of food he really likes, and have it on reserve and after he's eaten something he should (veggies, fruit, etc.) But since your son's a bit older, that may not be the best method. Have you talked with your doctor about it? Maybe he has a food sensitivity so certain foods are affecting his digestive system and he's embarrassed about it? I had a hard time with preservatives most of my life, and limiting them make me feel a lot better. Oh, I also find that when allergies are really bad food just doesn't taste, so I stick with what I know is really good and filling. Does he have allergies?

Maybe he wants to be involved in the process - so taking him to the store with you to pick out foods he'd like to eat and have healthy, vitamin fortified snacks on hand.

But all in all, listen to your instincts. If you feel like he's not getting what he needs, research as much as you can so you can make solid decisions. I'm sure there are some other related posts that would help. Good luck!

Perhaps it is a texture thing with the meat...some kids can not tolerate certain textures in their mouths. It is an oral sensory issue. i would talk with a O.T. Some kids it is a behavior problem (testing of wills) with other kids, they have issues and would rather starve than eat certain foods.

My son wont eat kid food either but has been doing well trying NEW things for me. I make a GREAT chicken nugget with sweet corn meal (gluten free) coating and my son loves them. I'm not a nugget eater but I actually like these too.

I also have fixed chicken (where I shred it) and add BBQ sauce to it and he loves that.

If he likes pasta get the Bertolli dinners. They have lots of differnt mixtures in the pasta and my son will eat ALL of those even though he is kinda picky.....

Try making cheese quesadillas.. Very easy with flour tortillas and cheese. You can sneak some meat of some kind in there. My son really likes these too.

My son is 6 so they sound kinda similar in age and appetite.

Let us know what you find....

I used to teach pre-school and we cooked EVERY day, except for field trip days. We learned to SMELL things - particularly spices, etc. We ALWAYS took a "courtesy bite" just to try it. If they didn't like it, that was fine, but at LEAST try it. Don't make a big deal out of it one way or another, just KEEP encouraging him to TRY TRY TRY.

I had girls who initially held their nose and wouldn't try things. We just kept talking about it and asking them to try and they watched other kids try and LIKE IT. They were then encouraged by them. We also talked about WHY eating those foods were important. And yes......a THREE YEAR OLD CAN begin to understand the WHY of good nutrition. You just have to present it on THEIR level. At the end of the school year, NONE of these girls had that problem any more.

One mother even told me that she was amazed at what her child would try. She said that she now tries ANYTHING she puts in front of her and that her daughter, now 4, was also continually encouraging her 2 year old little brother to try new things. We always said, "It's so much fun to try new things. When you don't try, you miss out."

There are MANY simple ways to encourage that. When at the grocery, let HIM pick out something NEW from the produce section and TRY FIXING IT TOGETHER. My roommate's 5 year old & I experimented with taffy this past weekend. It was FUN to try something new. She LLLLLLLLOVES helping and now thinks she's Rachel Ray!

Let them choose the vegetable or fruit rather than just put it in front of them. Let them start making choices NOW. They will carry that with them throughout life. I know.......I have kids that I had in preschool who STILL make choices based on what I taught them in preschool.

They knew what proteins, fats and carbs were......good and bad and WHY their bodies needed each of them. ANY TIME you present something, attach the WHY behind it. EVERYONE is much more apt to apply something that they know the WHY behind it rather than...."just because I said so".

If you don't know.......LEARN! Find out what nutrients are in peas, green beans, broccoli and HOW your body utilizes those nutrients. Needed for eyesight, immune system (keeping you from getting sick, strong bones, etc.) THEY ARE NOT TOO YOUNG TO START! You might both learn something. It can be good for BOTH of you!!

I've been teaching Abbie since she was two. She has WWWAAAY more knowledge about nutrition than most adults!!! THANK GOD!

This is not even remotely unusual. I think kids grow out of the picky eating normally if you don't make a huge deal about it, nor overindulge it. I had a double challenge because my husband liked everything spicy and my kid didn't like that so I had to cook things slightly differently for them both. My kid wouldn't eat meat for quite a while until I discovered he liked it only very tender! So I did try to buy him the tender cuts of beef and was careful how I prepared his food. I guess what I'm saying is I tried to pay attention to his likes and dislikes, just like I would my own, but I also served him more or less what we were eating. I would serve a small portion on his plate of things he hadn't grown to like yet and insist that he try it. Eventually their tastes change as they get older. He's grown out of it now and eats just about anything. (including spicy food!)

Oh Sister do I have some GREAT suggestions for you! I have a 2 year old who is going through a phase were I was pretty sure he was gonna starve because he was not eating well. My mother bought me 2 books that I SWEAR by. The first is DECEPTIVELY DELICIOUS by Jessica Seinfeld and the other is THE SNEAKY CHEF: SIMPLE STRATEGIES FOR HIDING HEALTHY FOODS IN KID'S FAVORITE MEALS By Missy Chase Lapine.

The premise of both of them is get a food processor and make it your best friend. You can trick kids into eating pretty much anything. You can puree meats if you want. You could also do beans, tofu. There are lots of different ways to get that protein in there. Also, if you got say a sports protein mix and mixed it with some milk. Those are LOADED with protein.

If you can, give these books a try. They have made a HUGE difference for our family. Even my husband is eating his veggies better. Because he doesn't know he's eating them (SHHHH!)

The other thing I'd do is go with your husband on this one. I know it is tough to watch them not eat. But kids have a built in ability to tell how much food they need. We just have to honor that. Make sure he takes X amount of bites of everything (to be determined by you, of course)just to get the flavors of different foods into his system. He may develop a taste for new foods if you keep at it. I think if you stick to your guns and say "this is the food you get" you are telling him YOU are in charge. By making him another meal. That is A) more time consuming for you, and B) teaching him that this is acceptable. You don't make a separate meal for your husband do you? Why should your son be any different? Best of wishes to you. Happy pureeing!

He sounds normal to me, besides "kid" friendly foods aren't exactly the healthiest!

My kids get choices for breakfast and lunch. Each containing a fruit and veggie(for lunch). Dinner is what I cook. (I do let them pick veggies for the family or a meal that they may like to eat) There is not fight or argument. Either you eat or not, that is your choice. You sit at the table with the family and no dessert if you do not at least try everything on your plate. Dessert is not always something sugary...sometimes their favorite fruit, jello, pudding..you know. My oldest did not eat dinner for over a year. She now eats pretty much everything we give her..at least her small bite in order to earn her dessert. She loves asperagus tops, broccoli....it took lots of repeated exposure and of course we eat those things too.

Good luck...we started off with the getting mad and dinner being a nightmare...now it is what it is...eat or don't eat..it is your choice.

I have one of those myself and he is 7 also. I have tried it all trust me. He had an emergency visit to the hosp. for a skull fracture from a auto accident and they found him malnurtioned. His weight was right on track and I am a nurse so I was really caught off gaurd by this. We had to get nuritions shakes to get him in the save zone, which was another habit to break because he loved the added sugar to his diet. Mine too loves his pasta. I contacted the school and talked with the lunch ladies and found he is not so picky at school but he still does not eat everything on his trays. They notify me if he takes a not eating spell and I try to cook to counter act what he has passed up on at school. It's work trust me. Once a week we have mac and cheese and spagitti is a weds. night regular. I bribe him to eat using desserts I know he loves or with mac and cheese the next night for dinner but only if he cleans his plate. He gets a small spoonful of everything i cook and this includes the things he does not like also. Example he hates cooked carrots he gets one small piece on his plate and he has to eat that before he gets seconds of anything or dessert. Boy does he get mad but he finally started to give in and is eating the yucky foods. I try to fix something really gross with the mac and cheese meals. Like spinach. I hate spinach but I eat one bite to teach him you have to eat it even if you don't like it. The secret to this is only give him a small spoon of mac and cheese to start with. My son loves it so much he eats the yucky bite first then asks for more mac and cheese before he even starts to eat it. lol Last night we had cube steak, baked potato and peas. He ate everything but his meat which was about 1 1/2 oz. very small. I caught him stuffing his mouth full and then saying " I have to pee" and got up to go. My response was FREEZE!!! Chew what you have in your mouth then you can go. Of course I got the crossed legs, tears and bouncing around. I just said you can't go until you chew and swallow what you have in your mouth. He did. We have gone through to much in the mouth and having to spit it out or he would choke ordeal. I fixed that one too. I started saving a small amount of his meat in the kitchen so the poor soul would have something to eat if he did put to much in his mouth. I would hate for him to starve you know. I also Killed all fast food visits the day I brought him home from the hospital. Deal is its a treat not your right to eat fast food when YOU want it. You must clean your plate all week long even at school to get Mc D's on Friday. He usually can't do it but he is getting better at trying. Bribery is your best friend trust me. US IT!!! He has to eat everything you serve wheither he likes it or not. I have heard many times- your the meanest mommy in the world, I hate you, and even I wish I was not your son. I hurts but at least you know he is healthy and that in it's self is what is important. About a month ago this same child realized he loves chinese spagitti (chop sui) lol fooled him.lol. Hold your ground and he will come around when he realizes the tears and pucking fears go un-noticed. May the Force be With You!!! lol

my best advice is to check out the Love n Logic parenting methodology: http://www.loveandlogic.com/pages/rules.html

Second, it's important for your child to eat, but it's also important that he understand good nutrition and why his body needs what it needs. He needs to feel like you are in charge. We always have fresh fruits like apples oranges and bananas available for the kids to eat whenever they want and carrots are good too. You should serve what you're going to serve and allow him the natural consequence of choosing not to eat it. You could let him know that if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it but the only other choices are fruits and veggi's or left overs. He's testing to see who's more patient. He must not have been hungry very much. If he goes a day with out food, I guarantee he will eat something, and a day or two without food isn't going to hurt him as long as he gets lots of water. Check out Love n Logic, it's really great practical, loving, natural consequence parenting philosophy. I have loved using it in our house.

My daughter will be picky a lot, mostly with her veggis and so I will offer the entire family a treat (small one, like one small cookie) for anyone who finished their veggis. 9 times out of 10 it works, although she pouts and refuses for a while, eventually (with enough patience) she will do it and be happy to get her cookie. We have to be happy and matter of fact about the consequence of eating or not eating her veggis and repeat ourselves a lot. Do not give in, or you're sunk, consistency is the key, if you give in once your son will be stubborn longer and longer in the hopes that you will eventually give in. Breaking that habit is more painful for the parent than the child.

hope this helps!

I have the same problem with my 5yr. old. I will ask him alot of times what he wants for dinner and then I'll cook accordingly (I make sure that I make at least one thing I know he'll eat and he can have as much as he wants). I try(it doesn't always work) to tell him he has to take at least one bite of everything else, because they might taste different this time and he might like them. This way I know he's not going hungry. Hope this helps.

My 4 year old son is picky too and while I have found and tried to cajole for some time am currently in a phase where I've given up the fight. It's just too stressful.

There are a couple of staples that I have for him that I will give him as a default. There are some Barilla noodles called Barilla Plus that I like because they mix the flour with legume flours which ups the protein and offers other nutritional benefits. They aren't at Whole Foods (I can't figure that out) but are at Jewel, Dominicks and recently in that jumbo size at Costco.

Also, I'll make my son a "morning milkshake" every could of days. I put in a handful of frozen blueberries, half a banana, chocolate ricemilk and yogurt and blend it. For extra appeal I'll put in a small scoop of ice cream. I see your son doesn't like ice cream but maybe the rest would work.

I'm hoping my kid will grow out of it!

J.

In my opinion, your son is actually much better off than most kids! It seems like he is mostly interested in the healthiest types of food, so I'd imagine he's getting plenty. My nephew does not eat a lot of food in the course of a day. He does like meat...but mostly the kinds of things your son likes. I've had more than one dr. tell me that if kids are truly hungry, they will eat. If not, and your force them, then you are just teaching them emotional eating...which is what most of us have problems with later on!

I always taught my kids to try anything new...especially at someone else's house. Also, get him involved in fixing the foods he likes. As long as he eats some fruits and veggeis, I'd say he's probably doing fine.

Honestly, do you want him eating those junkie foods?

You can try stepping up your grocery budget. Try all beef kosher hotdogs, or giller sausages. Frozen chicken nuggets, pasta with cheese on it (mac 'n cheese), and deli meat. You could look into switching your own eat habits so when dinner comes around you all are eating things he will eat as well. Looks like a hearty vegetarian diet would work, a meat can be added for you and your husband, like chicken or a roast, but there will be plenty for your boy to eat. Start collecting cookbooks, once you find a meal your boy likes make a note of it.

Good luck.