Picky Eater - Philadelphia,PA

Sneek the good stuff in... My daughter is Vegan...
There is so many organic and healthy food that taste great but have bunches of vitamins in them... Try Soy cheese pizza I use(Tofutti) the cheese they have is good for grilled cheese, has a lot of soy protein... Also, make her soy shakes get a flavored soy (sweet) add a bannana and some blueberries... Potassium/antioxident...
N.

Hi K.- I know it sounds harsh- but the pediatrician is right! She's not going to starve because she missed a meal! Try to offer one thing that you know she likes- so she'll at least eat something- but only put a small amount on her plate. Then give her other things that you'd like her to eat along with it.
I know with my kids that persistence is the key. I may have to put something on their plates 20 times before they will try it.
I never make meal time a struggle. Sometimes I think it's a battle of wills with kids- you trying to get them to eat and them fighting. If you take away the fight then she'll probably start to eat! Just don't argue- be very matter of fact- "I'm sorry if you don't want to try these delicious magic greenbeans that I made for you- but this is what is for lunch. If you don't want to eat it you don't have to but I am not making anything else." And leave it at that. If she won't eat- let her leave the table. She'll eventually get hungry and eat.
Good luck!
-S.

I agree with the doctor. If she's hungry enough she'll eat whatever you put in front of her long before she starves to death.

well, your ped. is right. if you think about it, it's not like you'll starve her on an ongoing basis - she'll get hungry enough for something (anything!) else pretty quickly. she WILL be cranky, she WILL be a nightmare and you WILL have to not only tolerate it but you CANNOT cave! good luck!

DEAR K., I WOULDN'T WORRY TOO MUCH. I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY OLDEST SON WHO IS NOW 10. I INTRODUCED HIM TO DIFFERENT THINGS LITTLE BY LITTLE, ALSO IF YOU LET HER HELP YOU PREPARE THE MEAL SHE MAY BE MORE WILLING TO EAT IT. I FOUND THIS WORKED GREAT WITH MY SON. IF HE MADE IT HE WOULD EAT IT. TRY THIS AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT WENT. SINCERELY, S.

We too have a picky eater... and have followed exactly what your granddaughter's doctor told you. If my son won't eat, the meal gets put in the fridge until he is hungry... when he gets hungry enough, he will eat what was prepared (and, now, he even says thank you for the food too). Good luck!

Have you thought about feeding her Pediasure or Ensure? It has worked for my sister-in-law since her son is a picky eater.

As harsh as it sounds, your doctor is probably right on the money. Make your daughter a plate of whatever the rest of the family is having and let her know that this is all there is for dinner. Tell her that she does not have to eat it but she will get nothing else. If she sees the rest of you enjoying yor dinner, then she will be more willing to try new things when she is hungry. The hard part is sticking to it. Children have a way of making us feel guilty for not giving them what they want. Sooner or later, she will come around and start eating what everyone else is eating. If she is stubborn, you can even try giving the rest of the family desert, something you know that she enjoys, and not allow her to have any of it until she eats what is in front of her. I know it sounds cruel to take this approach but it does work and...trust me...your daughter will not starve.

Something else to think about, this phase of picky eating will not last forever. You do need to encourage her to eat other things. If you allow her to continue to only eat certain things, she will stay a picky eater to an extent into her adulthood. I have two teenage children and they were both picky eaters. My son grew out of it after a short period of time. My daughter was not so easy. I used the method that your doctor gave you and it worked like a charm. You are giving her vitamins so she should be ok.

My 4 year old son eat just like your granddaughter. If I were you, the first thing I would do is find a new doctor. She is only 5 years old. She needs any good food in her, she is growing! My doctor told me give my son, 4 years old, "things you know he will eat but at around age 7 then try to make him eat what everyone else is eating. Don't cook things you know for a fact he will not eat." You know how it feels when you have to eat something you don't like too. Try to feed everyone a commonly liked meal. Easier said than done. LOL

To help with the lack of good food she isn't eating try Pedisure for kids. It's a good supplement. It comes in several differant flaveors. Pricy but worth it. Also, try smoothies and yogurt. If she likes meat balls, add chopped spinach or anything else you chop up and sneak in. I found if my son sees me eatting something he will normally not eat, I will wait until he is intresed in what item. Then I ask him if he wants to try it. Most often than not he will try it. Try brown rice with butter, pepperonie, bananas. Even try Baby Food jar fruits. It works for my son. I feel any fruit getting into him weather it's adult fruit or baby food fruit it's still fruit. Good Luck and try not to worry to much. My husband was the same as your grand daughter and our son and he ended up being 6 foot 4 and 260lbs.

I sort of agree with the doctor. Continuing the current pattern will not promote healthy eating habits. Maybe you can insist that she eats a small portion of something healthier, and if she eats that then she can have half of a cheese sandwich, etc. She may need to experience hunger to motivate her, but eventually she'll eat it. You'll have to be strong, as I'm sure she'll give you a good fight.

Hi, K..
At lunch i wouldn't make an issue of it unless you are having a big organized unch were everyone is having the same thing. Let her have what she wants at that meal, and then at dinner insist she eats at east a bite of everything you put on her plate. This is what I do with my three (almost 4) year old son and he has recenty decided he likes pork loin, shredded chicken cooked with orange juice and terriyaki sauce, and both mashed and scalloped potatos. If he won't try it, he doesn't get anything else that night and if he does say he's hungry then I offer the same food again. Maybe she'll like the next days food better. My doctor has said it may take upto 10 separate introdutions to a new flavor to get the child to like it, but it does seem to work. I've noticed that it works better when I cook for everyone with more child frendly flavors. Less spice, and more fruit flavors. I let him dip meats in applesauce and he loves that. If he tries what I ask him to and really can't stnd it then I will make him something else, but It hasn't happened recenty. I find it very hard to do, but it has made a difference for us. Good luck and just keep trying.
D.

HI K.,
I HAVE TWO BOYS AT TWO VERY DIFFERENT PHASES IN LIFE AND HAVE FOUND THAT I JUST HAD TO BE CONSISTENT. MY 3 YEAR OLD REFUSES TO TRY ANYTHING NEW AND AFTER TRYING A MILLION THINGS, I FOUND THAT THE BEST THING WAS TO WORK WITH HIM RATHER THAN AGAINST HIM. I EXPLAINED THAT WE WERE GOING TO TRY SOMETHING NEW AND WHEN IT WAS TIME TO COOK, WE WOULD TALK ABOUT WHAT STUFF TASTED LIKE, I WOULD LET HIM SAMPLE IT WHILE MAKING IT, AND MOST OF THE TIME HE SAID HE DIDN'T LIKE IT, BUT I LET HIM KNOW I WAS PROUD OF HIM FOR TRYING IT. HE WAS SO EAGER TO PLEASE HE JUST KEPT ON, NOW I DON'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE GETTING HIM TO TRY NEW THINGS. HE LOOKS FORWARD TO IT....WE NOW HAVE A GAME OF WHICH STUFF HE HASN'T TRIED. BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS FOR US, YOU ARE IN CHARGE AND NEED TO MAKE SOME KIND OF RULE AND STICK TO IT...AS A SIDE NOTE, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STARVE HER, INSIST ON PUTTING OTHER THINGS ON HER FOOD, YOU CAN PUT TOPPINGS ON HER PIZZA,ADD THINGS TO HER SANDWICHES, USE A HEALTHIER BREAD IF YOU'RE NOT ALREADY. GOOD LUCK..

Wow, find a new doctor! Absolutely let her eat whatever within reason. Within reason being: not ONLY sweets and candy. Seriously, what you mention that she's eating is not a particularly unhealthy diet. It may be a little unbalanced right now, but studies have shown that if you put out every kind of food group in front of children and let them choose what to eat, over the course of a month - guess what? They pick a healthy diet! It may be a whole week of only beans, but it all balances out. Our bodies tell us what we need to eat and obviously, she is in a growth spurt right now and needing extra calcium. Just a note, though: never overlook the chance to teach her about how to eat healthy, what sweets in moderation means and how important it is to stay healthy! Barb

My suggestion, make the rule that she has to try what you are eating, but if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to have it. I really do not suggest making her special meals, because then she will start to expect it. My nephiew was like that when he was little, and my sister spent years making two dinners.Now he only eats certain things. When he is here, I use that rule, and he will at least try what i have. it may work for you.

Assuming that there are no allergies at work here, where certain foods make her feel bad, and there are no sensory aversions where certain textures are unappealing, then there is no reason to live on that limited a diet. While all kids go through their picky eater stage, it is very often an issue of asserting control. If you set yourself up for a power struggle, this stage will last much longer than it needs to.

My advice would be to give her something she enjoys for two of the meals each day, and give her something new to try for the third. Either she eats the new food, or she doesn't. You can even offer a choice of two things outside of her comfort zone, and let her choose which to try, if it is hard to just put something in front of her. Once she tries something a few times, if she truly dislikes it, then don't force that food on her.

We are hardline in my house with food issues. I won't make you something I know you really dislike. But, that said, I make one meal, you eat or you don't. My son eats like a champ, reasonably anything but peas and broccoli, which he has disliked in all forms from baby food jars till now.

I think your Dr. is right...I have a son who is a picky eater and I will refuse to be his short order cook. My fiancee who has two grown children did it for one of his step children and hated it. He made her eat what everyone else ate.
I decided I would do the same for my son. He is 3 1/2. If he is not eating. I feed him or my fiancee does until he realizes that the new food actually is good and eats it on his own.
For example he wouldn't eat chicken if it looked different than a chicken nugget...but realized that it tasted just as good. If we never made him try it, he would never know.
We just push him up to the table with a plate of what we are eating and start feeding him if he doesn't eat on his own. he usually finishes on his own. And he is quickly improving.

You can't let your kids run you. If they think they have the upper hand, they will do all sorts of things that drive you nuts.

I come from a family of 4 girls and being the oldest, I had to help care for my 2 youngest sisters. We always had to help my parents. Kids these days seem to have it pretty easy.
I have cousins who grew up at the same time I did and had no responsibility. They have no skills, can't cook, sew, etc...
Mind boggling.

Does your doctor have any children? I have 9 of them ages 22 months to 17 years and they all went through their "picky" stages. It doesn't last forever. We went through the hotdog phase, the grilled cheese or just cheese sandwich phase and also the peanut butter sandwich phase. I supplemented with a Flintstone vitamin a day and my children are healthy children with now healthy appetites. I am not a physician but I have been a mommy for a long time. Good luck to you!

My daughter is also a very picky eater with a very limited diet.

I recently read a book called coping with a picky eater. Here's a link from Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0684837722/sr=8-1/qid=11...

It basically said the same thing that her doctor is saying, but went into great detail about why that is the best approach. And the author said not to force the child to eat anything. Let them be excused when they say they are finished and leave it at that.

I was skeptical, but I had tried EVERYTHING else humanly possible, so I went with this. For three weeks my daughter ate nothing but a bowl of rice krispies in the morning and half a cup of yogurt at lunch. Not a thing for dinner. She lost two pounds and would complain about being hungry, but still wouldn't eat anything.

But after three weeks she really started to turn around. She still doesn't always eat everything, but is trying a lot more. Like tonight she tried a strawberry-spinach salad with a vinigarette dressing. She only ate two leaves but hey, I'll take it!

I feel a lot less stressed now that I don't have to make special meals for her every night, and I am not bribing and forcing her to eat foods she doesn't like.

Hi K.,

My Name is R. I have the same problem only diffrence is my doughter is 15 yr old. And she is Very Very picky Her foods are the same and I will add on some othere food wait not food JUNK food that seems to be the next thing she will eat. She won't eat a roast,porkchop unless it's bone less,steak. She'll eat hot dogs,hambugers,chicken nuckets,chicken finger's. But that is once in a blue moon. I am trying to get her to eat a balence meal but that is like pulling teeth. And the funny thing her doc. say's that's fine of what she is eating that is a teenager for you. And that made me mad and that didn't help out at all. And it's the same doc we have for the house hold.

K.,

Hi there, I hope this site is helping. I was upset that someone with so much experience would suggest you take away her choices. I mean life is not black and white. Maybe look deeper into what she doesn't like about the foods that are presented. Are they fresh, canned. I've noticed ,and can most certainly identify, with how kids are sensitive to the quality of food. I remember relishing in the veggies at my grandparents and great grandfathers houses but was dissatisfied with them anywhere else, and it was because canned or fresh they were from the thier back yard and carefully grown and harvested at the right time by hand. I know why, now that I'm older. I too have trouble with my son who's five. He prefers the same foods as your grandaughter and is disappointed in many others. From experience I say definately have her taste a tiny bit of things she doesn't want and combine and modify the arrangment of the old stand-by For example: Jacob always eats the grilled (usually cheddar) cheese with organic creamy tomato soup (it's totally different than non-organic) loves chick peas plain or as humus, black olives, and sweet potatoes with cinimon and organic butter (which is also completely different and better). If you offer her any fruits be sure they're fresh cut, peeled, and small because small usually means better more appealing taste and closer to natural. I agree with Barb G. exept add to "sweets in moderation" with "whole and natural ingredient". Just use whole foods in the foods she likes, it's not difficult in these times. Sugar is actually nutritious in it's simplest form. Where as white refined, even some brands of brown sugar and molasess can make your body very unbalanced. (One reason why kids get sick and loose calcium when they have refined sugar in thier diets.) And by the way, what was the name of that doctor?

S. P.

Oh - organic carrots taste way different and better too. :) Hey, this thing about the natural (original form) foods is a big deal with taste for kids.

K.-

I have to be honest...I am a bit shocked at what the doctor advised you. Is this a pediatrician? Or, a general practicioner (spelling?)? My son is 5 and also a VERY picky eater. He only eats chicken if it's not breaded or has skin on it, pizza, spagetti but can't have chunky sauce. Hmm...that truly might be it right now. Doesn't eat anything with cheese on it. He does have some sensory issues and that is part of why he is so picky. If the food has a certain texture that he doesn't like, he won't go near it and will get sick if forced to eat it. HIS pediatrician said to basically feed him what I know he is going to eat. For about two months straight, I sent in two slices of pizza every day to school. Can you imagine? But, it was either that or him not eat for 8-10 hours!!!! My son also take a vitamin so the doctor isn't really worried about that part of it. Now, I do know that if I know he likes pizza and I offer him that and he doesn't eat it...not to keep offering him other things. Offer him one thing I know he might not like, if that doesn't work, offer him one thing I know he does. If he still doesn't want to eat, then he will when he gets hungry enough. That's been what I was told to do and what I've been doing.

I haven't had a chance to see how others responded, but I hope you have gotten some good advise and some support. I guess as long as your grand-daughter isn't losing weight, there isn't too much concern. But, if she's not gaining either....

Good Luck!!!

Thank god I never had this problem with either of my children. My sister, however would tell you a different story. My nephew was a very picky eater when he was younger. My sister would give him a little of what she was eating. He had to take at least 3 bites. If he decided he still didn't like it, then she would give him his usual meal. Another suggestion would be to let her help you decide on and prepare your meals. She might be more apt to taste what she has created and it's a really great way to bond. Although my daughter was never picky, she always loved to cook with me and still does (she's 8 now). Good luck. PS - My mother is also a crossing guard -- 4th precinct, Suffolk County PD.

In another few weeks she'll be wanting totally different foods. Kids eating habits change all the time. I would offer what your serving and make her at least taste it but don't let her starve. As long as she's getting something in her tummy that's all that matters in my opinion. You may try letting her help you prepare the meal. They always want to eat what they helped to make. Good luck. P.

I know that it sounds awful...but your doc is right. If you don't force her to try new things she never will. She won't starve..she'll eat when she's hungry. And she is old enough to understand what you are telling her. It's not like she's 1 and doesn't know. I'd make her a plate tonight, whatever your eating. If she doesn't eat it, let her know that she will be getting the same thing for breakfast, and lunch tomorrow and so on until she eats what's put infront of her. The sooner you get her through this the better it will be for you. Again, she won't starve.

My son was the same way. We did what your doctor told you and sure enugh 3 months later he eats everything!!