I just want to vent. I'm so tired of my 7 year old son being so picky and not caring about eating. At times he just does not care to eat. Much of the time he says he is not hungry. It drives me totally bonkers! He is a super active kid and should be famished at meal times. Today there is no school so I thought, I'll just wait till he is hungry. He wanted no breakfast ...now it is 11am. Almost lunch time! He has been up since 7:30am and we have been playing. I made muffins and later I made french toast. He is not hungry he says. He wants to go play at a friend's house and I just told him he needs to eat something first. He is now upstairs yelling down how he is not hungry. This is nuts. Does anyone out there have a similar aged child who is like this? And yes, there are times when he eats great...but it is inconsistent and it is quite maddening. I'm not very patient today bc my husband has been out of town for 2 weeks so right now I'm feeling ready to make him stay in his room till he is ready to eat. I'm so sick of this.
You all are right - it is totally a power struggle. The thing is he is hungry and he gets low blood sugar which makes him be a big grouch and really makes him even more stubborn. It's just so annoying bc this happens over and over with him. I don't ever make him eat but I know if he does not eat something he will all of a sudden hit a wall and have horrible behavior. He does not just mellowly wait till the next meal and then eat...he has melt downs and is rude and yells and we all have to suffer his moods. (Even if he is sent to his room, I still have to hear him yelling in there). If he didn't eat breakfast and then was happy till lunchtime that would be fine with me - I can understand not being a breakfast person. No, he NEEDS to eat something at some point! He becomes unbearable. I just had to vent about it. He is not allowed to snack on stuff till the next meal if he does not eat. He knows that rule. Anyway - today he sulked in his room till almost 1 and then he came down and ate what was sitting at the table for him. He was all cheery and sweet after that and I just allowed him to go to his friend's house to play. This is not just about breakfast either - he will do this at any meal! He does not always do it...but he does it enough to drive me nuts. This stubbornness runs in my husband's family - they all joke about it.
Since skipping meals isn't an option, give him 2 things to choose from. Be adamant, 'You either eat cereal or scrambled eggs, but you HAVE to pick and eat one.' Ask him to make a list of things he WILL eat, then incorporate those foods into meals, 'How can you say you don't like lasagna? You said you like cheese and pasta, both of those are in this'.
Also, talk to his pediatrician, I'm sure they'll have suggestions :)
Hang in there!!
I'm sorry, I don't see why this is an issue? If he's not hungry then he can wait until the next meal is served.
My youngest has NEVER been a breakfast eater, and it used to drive me crazy because after all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! I finally realized that forcing her to eat something in the morning actually made her feel worse, not better (stomach aches any time she eats before 10 am.)
He's not going to starve to death, and this just seems like a hassle you could avoid. Again, ask yourself, why is this an issue? It doesn't have to be :)
Whatever you do don't give in - he'll see that he's won this battle over control. I think that might be more what it is. At 7, can you use logic/science to explain to him that his body needs energy/calories? Does he hear you talk about weight-loss, and maybe he fears getting fat?
I wouldn't let my son go to his friend's house no matter how much I might want a break, unless he ate a small meal at least - a half a sandwich and an apple or something like that. Stay strong woman! Call and vent to your husband if you can. Perhaps he needs to tell your son over the phone that he must obey his mom.
@ Rachel - love the idea. I have always tried to give my non-picky eater 3.5 yr old son two choices with everything he does "Mom clip your nails or Dad clip your nails" or "Peas or Broccili" or "bath or shower."
Why does he have to eat? Do you think he'll starve himself?
If my kid says she doesn't want to eat, she doesn't eat. She also doesn't get snacks or juice or anything (she can have water) until the next meal. At that meal, she'll either eat because she's hungry or skip the meal again. I wouldn't be worried unless she went a full day with no food or liquid besides water. She's never gone more than half a day without eating, so I guess my questions back to you are:
If you allow him to make the choice not to eat, can you make sure he doesn't get any food elsewhere?
How long has he gone without eating or drinking anything at all? If it's less than a day, consider letting him see the consequences of not eating and letting him make the choice to eat.
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I have an almost 7 year old who is rarely "hungry" to the point that he loses weight at times. I know that there is already a natural consequence to not eating, but your son needs to learn that he feels better (and will be healthier) if he eats regularly.
We put up a sticker chart. At first, our son got to go to the dollar store (He is addicted to the dollar store!) when he got a small number of stickers on the chart, with stickers as the reward for eating at mealtime. The number of stickers has gradually gotten bigger, and eventually we got rid of the chart altogether as it was no longer necessary. The point is that sometimes kids need some external motivation, along with positive praise, to develop good habits. Hopefully, this will help you to end the power struggle. (I know it worked for us!)
P.S. We also put up a sticker chart for our younger son, which really helped motivate our almost 7 year old to get his stickers so he could go with his brother!
Let him miss a few meals....don't refuse to let him drink anything because he needs to stay hydrated but if he doesn't eat he doesn't eat. If he skips a meal but says he's hungry...don't feed him until the next meal. Eventually he'll get the message that he can't control the situation.
