Picky 3 Year Old Not Gaining Weight

Updated on January 06, 2011
L.B. asks from Walbridge, OH
5 answers

So both of my kids are little and both of them are picky....The youngest used to eat anything I put in front of him I was so excited!! then over the summer he started refusing everything but cookies. He even held out for 2 days-just nibbling on things here and there until he got something sweat! I try not to be a short order cook, but the only thing he seems interested in is Pizza and Spaghetti and the oldest throws up when he eats anything with tomato sauce. Now...since the youngest is getting taller and not getting heavier (50th% in height and dropped from 25th in weight to the 5th)...I am now officially a short order cook!!!
We've been keeping left overs for him while I cook up whatever is for dinner. If he doesn't eat, we give him that. The only fruit he gets is the occasional bowl of applesauce. No milk, no veggies.....It's very frustrating. Spaghetti will be easy enough to start hiding purees of veggies, but I'm still at my wits end. My oldest started drinking milk and eating every fruit and veggie in sight after starting a daycare program...monkey see monkey do, but the Dr. wants me to wait until flu season is over to try that. One good bug and it could be devastating for him.
Any tips or suggestions for a frustrated Mom?

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So What Happened?

My atttitude has always been that I'm not going to worry about it...my hubby and I were very small kids too. The oldest had the same problem at this age, so I hadn't put much though into it since he now eats so well-not a lot, but good foods. Now the Dr. is making a big deal about it. I'm finding that it's more a battle of the wills than anything else. We could barter and bribe the oldest, but this one just sees it as a challenge. He wants to win! Last night we didn't offer him anything to eat. He begged for dinner:). Progress! Also, he's a grazer, so leaving things out that he might not otherwise try might work. I just have to figure out what to do with the dog!! THanks for all of the suggestions.

More Answers

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Big mistake being a short order cook. I would put dinner out for all family
members and not him. He can sit and watch you eat. Ignore him. He
might just decide to eat like everyone else. Worth a shot. Has worked
for friends in the past.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Light and fussy eating is SO common in this age group it could be considered normal. My grandson for awhile was 75th percentile for height and 10th for weight, so we watched him closely and coaxed him to eat as much/often as possible. There were a lot of flavors and textures he simply did not like, and all the research I did during that period suggested that the extreme pickiness is probably a survival mechanism that keeps toddlers from eating toxic things. Getting a child to eat "yuck" foods during that phase (which can last a couple of years) is considered by some developmental researchers to be roughly equivalent to handing an adult a dish of eyeballs, ants and weeds and expecting them to eat it.

While he was super-skinny, my grandboy also had a round of had-foot-mouth disease and a tummy bug or two, and lost weight alarmingly each time, but when he was well he would catch up again. He's now 5, his tastes have broadened, his appetite is sporadic but often pretty good, he eats (mostly) an excellent diet. Broccoli has become a favorite food. And he's healthy, energetic, and still quite slender.

It's so easy to worry and so hard not to, but most toddlers will make it through the "lean" and picky years just fine, L.. When you think about the seriously restricted diets children subsist on successfully in less-privileged areas of the world, it becomes obvious that our expectations here are pretty high. I'm in no way knocking good nutrition and balanced diets, but it does seem true, observing the culture at large, that probably a majority of toddlers go through a period in which they only eat a few foods.

What often works well in this age group is to allow healthy grazing throughout the day so the child can actually eat when hungry. Sometimes those little appetites fade quickly when the child is distracted by play or tiredness. Setting out a small plate of sliced cucumbers and yogurt dip, ants on a log, apple, orange or melon wedges, squares of omelet, french toast or pancake, with toothpicks or a cocktail fork to make spearing food amusing, can encourage the child to notice how his body feels and experiment with a new flavor now and then. "Parties" to which his favorite toys are invited can be compelling, too.

Try not to let your anxieties show too much. Children find this confusing at best, and a cause to resist at worst. Your child's willingness to try new foods will increase in a year or so, and watching you prepare and enjoy a variety of foods will have a more positive effect on him than insisting he eat what you prepare. Meanwhile, maybe you can invent a cookie recipe that contains spinach and squash…

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

There is something called "Food Neophobia."
It was on ABC news. Interesting.
Here is the link on it:
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/Recipes/extremely-picky-e...

Will your son drink "Pediasure?" It is a 'meal' drink for kids... that has vitamins in it as well as Protein and fiber. It is commonly used for picky kids.... or who need to gain weight etc. Try that or ask your Pediatrician about it. It tastes like a milkshake. They have different flavors... vanilla, chocolate etc.

Main thing is he eats.
But as you said, he will only eat 'sweet' foods.
Wow and he even held out for 2 days, huh? Not eating????

Will he eat/drink Smoothies???? That is healthy, 'sweet' and has fiber in it. You can also add in peanut butter, for protein, and milk.

What about soups??? If you make it from scratch, that is healthy too....

What else does your Pediatrician suggest???

My son is a super picky eater. But, he is healthy, grows like a weed and has always been, despite his picky eating, in the upper 95th-97th percentiles. And we don't feed him junk, nor have it in the house.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my daughter is tall and very thin... 7% for weight and 60% for height.. her bmi is 12... (we just went to the dr)

I have 2 kids and I am not a short order cook..no time for that.. Basicly I do not worry about what they eat or do not eat.. somehow it balances out.. My husband started out trying to coax/encourage/threaten/punish my daughter for eating/not eating.. we finally agreed to stop the nonsense.. as the quickest way to have a food issue in a child is to make a big deal about what they eat or do not eat.. so we simply ignore her eating habits..

Lately my duaghter has been giving me a hard time about drinking milk.. (she says it tastes funny, she doesnt like milk...etc) but then the next day she drinks it fine.. I just talked to her teacher at school and she drinks milk fine at school no problem..so my daughter is just playing a game with me about milk..KIds will play games with eating and food if it gets a reaction from mom ..

My kids almost always eat breakfast... (waffles, pancakes, toast or oatmeal )

They usually eat lunch... (hot dogs, peanut butter and jelly, spaghetti Os..)

They eat dinner sometimes.. If it is something that they like... pizza and spaghetti... hamburgers.. etc..

This is a very normal eating pattern for kids.. for some reason kids dont eat dinner.. I dont worry about it.. somehow they get enough calories to grow. My daughter grew 2 inches and gained 3 pounds this year.. not alot.. but she did grow.. Your son will be fine...

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

Whatever you keep in the house they will go for but if there is a chance of something sweet they will always go after that. I stopped keeping cookies in the house and tried to pick out other things like granolas, muffins and I always offer them fruit/veg. As they have gotten older and they hear what the school says about nutrition there eating has improved. I notice they do get more sweets away from home now. I do give my kids supplements because I know they don't get enough fruits and vegetables based on the guidelines. Sometimes kids' bodies know what their body can't tolerate.. There are more kids who have food allergies/intolerances these days. My kids see4m to have issues with milk, wheat, chocolate and eggs. You may want to ask about that. Horizon has cute little individual packs of milk and chocolate milk that my kids love. It also is organic so I know it doesn't have hormones in it.My youngest is always in the 25 percentile and family ask me if I am feeding him enough. I know he is eating. He is just skinny and tall. His oldest brother was like that too and is now a healthy and normal 28 year old. He is not fat or skinny anymore. Just avoid empty calories. No pop and stay away from too carbs. I know my kids would eat carbs all day if I let them. Watch the crackers and pretzels.

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