Okay, this whole idea of "my friends have one, how come I can't?" is going to be ongoing their whole childhood life.
So, you have to get used to, that, AND staying on course with your own rules/wishes/ideas about how you raise YOUR child.
And just say, NO.
Tell your son, he is not a sheep. He is his own person. If he just follows along with what all the other kids have and do, then how is that logical? Its really not common sense. He has to think for himself. Not just by what he sees other kids doing or having.
I tell my kids that. I have been teaching them that since they were Toddlers.
They are 6 and 10 now, and they really don't get into the whole vicious cycle of "well my friends have it, so I want it too.." copy cat thinking.
If my kids say they want something... I tell them "Why?" "Does your friends have it? How come?" "You are not that person, you are you. How important is it, that you have that? Why?" "What are you needing it for" "Is it REALLY a need, or you just want it but you don't know why?" "Is it just something that is neat for a moment, but after you don't even care if you have it or not?" I make them, think THROUGH the process, of what it is they want. And why.
I also tell them, that everyone has a budget, and some things are important and some are not.
Per a "phone," my daughter is 10. Many of her classmates have phones. They go to after school care etc. So it is needed for them.
My kids, I pick them up after school. I take them everywhere too. If they are out with friends or at a play date, THEY speak up if they have to call me and they ASK the Mom or Host or another friend "can I use your phone to call my Mom?" and they call me. Even if they do not, have a phone. Because, everyone else they are with, has a cell phone. Whether that is another friend, or another Mom, or even their Teacher.
When my daughter goes to Middle School next year, we are thinking of getting her a phone. She IS very responsible. And not impulsive. And is very careful per personal information and safety. She is just that way, and we teach her. So we can trust, her. BUT my daughter KNOWS, that the reason we are thinking of getting her a cell phone is: NOT because all her friends have one... BUT BECAUSE, we feel she is by then, needing it, and IS responsible enough. It is because WE feel, she will need one in Middle School. Not because of what her peers are doing. It is OUR decision. Not her's and not because we are just caving in. She does NOT ask us for a phone. She knows, that when WE feel she is ready, we will let her have one.
That is the difference. My daughter knows, us and herself and what our thoughts are, about it. And never is our rationale, because of just doing what all her other friends are doing.
When my 10 year old daughter, tells me about what her friends have and do (per phones and online), I TALK about it with her. But my daughter knows, that those kids are just doing whatever, and their parents don't really monitor them. She even tells me that. And when other kids ask her for her (our) phone number, she says "No. I don't give out our number unless my Mom says I can. You have to ask my Mom." I TEACH my daughter, that this is PRIVATE personal, information. Not to be given out to just anyone.
Once a kid has a phone, you have to be REAL careful, about who they give their phone number to. Because, once they give a phone number to someone else or some other kid, THAT kid will then give their phone number to someone else. And then on and on. And before you know it, lots of people/kids, that you don't even know, will have your child's phone number.
I say this because, I SEE it happen, and my daughter tells me. And then, that is when trouble occurs. ie: prank calls, mean messages and voice-mails etc. And this happens as well, with e-mail addresses if kids have one. They give it out to anyone. And then pretty soon, people you don't even know, has your or your child's e-mail address, too.
Again, I see this happening. I am at my kids' school where I work and volunteer at.
So there are MANY aspects to this, that you have to think about.
And if your child is not careful or mature, then I would not get him a phone.