Perspective

Yes, my husband has been battling a brain tumor for the last three years. Right now he is winning :)
A change of perspective is an understatement!

And my brother's FIL is recovering from a subarachnoid hemorrhage ~ a lot of people don't get that chance.

Everyday I read something - or see it on the news - and appreciate my healthy children, my stable life, my suburban home and my solid, though typical, husband.

Just the past couple of months have brought:
- my cousins neice (just under 3) died of tuberculosis brought on my chemo treatments
- my mother's best friend (and a dear dear women) died of Leukemia after going in remission - she was barely 50
- my friend from college had her little boy die from e.coli poisoning - he was 18 months

Everytime I think my little problems or annoyances are getting to be too much to bear I just think about this and thank whatever god there is for my safe, healthy, wonderful life.

Nothing this dramatic, but yes.

Last week we were getting ready to take our son to a specialist for an eval, which I had only hours earlier discovered that the cost was going to be $100+ more than we'd thought. (We are on a tight budget.) I was pretty upset about it until Talk of the Nation came on with a focus on families living with children who are terminally ill.

Boy, my problems got back down to size real quick. After that, gratitude was all I could conjure up.

I recently learned about a co-worker's son who was recently diagnosed with an inoperable tumor. Chemo starts soon. The child is 5. Definite perspective... Live each moment, celebrate each day, and BE there (wherever you are!). Hard to do I know. I wish the best for your friend and her family. Take Good Care

Denise, my MIL has advanced stage Alzheimers. We still have our dinners and celebrations, with her in the room with us. It does give us a different perspective.

What we need to do more than anything else, though, in my view, is to remember this perspective when it comes to people OUTSIDE of our lives. To care about other peoples' plights everyday. To talk about them with respect and dignity. To not make fun of them or denigrate them when they are "a bit of trouble".

That, to me, is the measure of someone who has this perspective. Someone who cares about others who aren't in their own family. Sadly, there are those who don't, and that's the way of the world.

Dawn

Two years ago my Grandma.. my best friend... got more sick and we knew she wasn't going to pull out of it this time on December 10th. She passed away on December 15. Her funeral was on December 20th.

Being it happened so close to Christmas ( as Im sure it would have close to any other "family" holiday) it really brough home the importance of family. Christmas was a very sad O. that year, the presents that were/ weren't bought didn't really matter. What did was every O. sitting around talking, laughing,crying, sharing stories and being together and loving O. another. It showed my family that no dollar amount can compair to the love of family.

I hope you find that silver lining!

Yes, when we lost our first baby at 6 1/2 months old. Everything most moms and wives worried about never affected me. I was able to handle subsequent motherhood with ease, love and enjoyment.

Be strong for your friend. Enjoy the days you have with her.

My husband passed out on October 15th, 2009. We had a four year old and a 5 month old. He went to the bathroom before work and came out and his face was blue-green. He coughed a bit and I said I will take you to the er. Somewhere in all this, I called 911 because he was fading in and out. We got the the hospital and founf out he had diabeltes, and then we found out he had several blood clots in his legs and a few in his chest/lungs and if it had been just a tiny bit over he would have died. Scared us all. His mothe rflew in and he was in ICU. It makes you realize that things are important that you take for granted. He could have died, I could have been a widow and my children, especally the baby would not remember her faher. Life is short and we take for granted the smallest things

I do not need to say much to you on this. You know what I have been through.

There is ALWAYS a silver lining, you just need to be patient and wait for it to show itself. Have faith that there is work being done behind the scenes here, that no O. is in control of.

Sunny days have never been so beautiful. Cold air never look so inviting.

Everything I do from the simple things like breathing, to the hard stuff like being a mom and wife, is so much more enjoyable, just knowing I am alive to be going through it.

I went from being a self centered person. too living for others as the only thing I have to do. Cause it is. and it will be this way until it is my time to finally take my last curtain call.

Be strong for her. She is going to need to be allowed to be scared for a bit. Staring mortality down is a very intimidating thing. she may go through periods when she does not want anyone around. Do not listen to her. Be there. Even if she does not see you. Be there to help the family. Cook. Clean. run her errands when she is not feeling up to it.

When she pulls through to the other side of this, you guys will be strong. she will realize you didnt abandon her at her worst. And for that she will forever be thankful for you.

The reason those things no longer feel important(and I have been dealing with my fair share of these new odd emotions right now, because I am so excited just to be here with my family the holidays themselves do not seem as important)is because they really do not matter when it comes right down to it. Those are just days we have given ourselves to celebrate. You can have Thanksgiving any time you want to and the True meaning of Christmas is not about the prefect gifts. They are merely just times we need to reflect back on the ones we loves and be thankful they are with us.

Fighting for ones life is not something we think about having to do, until we are in the middle of it. Then it feels like the world and everything in it is closing in around you. Push it back and make her see she is strong enough to pull through this. This maybe the nasty chapter in her life she was not wanting to write. But she will get through. You will get through.

I LOVE YOU LADY! YOU KNOW THIS.

You are a great person and I know you will offer your friend the Love and Support she is going to be needing.

I met my husband on a blind date in july of 06 his mother had cancer that sept 06, my husband and i were engaged early nov 6 my parents sold there house i grew up in and they owned to move to a different city three hours away in dec of 06.(some where between the summer and my parents move i moved into an appartment). Jan of 07 I moved in with my husband and his roomate took over my old appartment.feb of 07 my mil moved in with us until her husband could finish teaching his school year. march of 07 we were married, april 07 i was preggerw with my first, aug 07 my mil moved in with her husband in the same town we are in. she went down hill very quickly after moving out and passed away in dec of 07, my boss closed the doors to her business (my job) at the end of dec 07 ,my son was born jan of 08. life was insane and horrible O. thing after another sadness filled our lives. it dented our relationships across the board. things like turkey dinner are still important as we dont know what is going to be around the corner and we want to enjoy life. the perfect gift is wonderful because next year they might not be here, where we go on christmas or thanks giving is still of great value as we dont know what is going to happen to us and we should spend our time with those we love and truly care about. the small stuff like a perfect gift for a teacher you barely know anything about not so improtant but the gift that will light up grandmas face priceless! btw all the crazyness that we went though makes us not fight about little things. i see couples getting into tiffs and leaving the house to stay in a hotel and think its so childish. i see women getting angery at there husbands for not getting them a purse or thing they wanted and want to shake them and tell them to grow up. some times i am slightly jelly of them as they still can be crazy over little things and must have had a very easy life if THAT is what they are stressing over. much love for you and your friend durring this time.

Recently we had a local orthodontist die in a plane crash, a young father of 2 die from luekemia and many many more bad things happening to everyone around us. I am grateful for my heath and the fact that I am here today taking care of my family. So sorry to hear about your friend.

Thanks for this great question! It's always nice to get a little perspective. I have been hearing about a lot of people with health problems lately, and a friend of mine has a child with a life-threatening illness. When it comes down to it, if you are heatlhy and your loved ones and children are healthy, that's all that matters. You can have all the money and possessions in the world, but if you don't have your health, you have nothing.

Yes. My husband's job loss. Made me thankful for being a cash only family with enough savings to keep us up and running.

My brother just had neck surgery and two metal plates put in his neck. I'm THANKFUL that he came out good - no great - and is already regaining feeling in his arms and hands.

I'm thankful to my girl friend's sister in law - who is a friend of mine - who has battled Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma for over 20 years and has remained cancer free!! She's a wonderful W.!!