Period - Saint Michael,MN

There is a book that American Girl came out with for girls that goes threw all of the changes with girls and explains things I think better than we as mothers do sometimes. The book is called The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls. I got this book for my daughter and it has made it so much easier to help explain things to her. I hope this will help!

I was so embarresed when my mom wanted to buy them for me too. I used to make my own by stapeling cardboard and toliet paper. I know way dumb that did not last long. When I would go to my aunts house I would always take some. She just needs to put them in the bathroom. One day at the grocery store I just threw them in the shopping cart with my mom.

I got my first period when i was 11. I hated pads but i knew i had to use them. Maybe try explaining to her how important it is to use the right products for the blood for sanitation purposes. It really sucks getting your period early and i'm sure she's feeling more than a little overwhelmed by it.

Maybe give her pantyliners? I always hated pads too. She's too young for tampons in my opinion.

With many preteen girls in my family, I've put a pretty little box (from Michael's craft store) in each of the bathrooms with a large variety of tampons and pads. Also in the box are simple instruction on how to use each product and proper disposal. The girls (and their friends) know that the box is in there and available for their use. They don't have to come to an adult with what some may see as embarassing. If there is a product that is well-liked I have the girls leave a note in the box to buy more.

The girls were introduced to the American Girl book, The Care & Keeping of You when they were 9ish and it is a book that is on our common bookshelf. It was extremely helpful.

Also, what is available at the school? My mother teaches at a small private school and have instituted the boxes in the girls' bathrooms. In place in each girls bathroom is a plastic filing box that has a variety of pads and tampons free to use/try. A letter is sent home to mothers periodically asking for donations, which are turned in through the school office. The boys are clueless as the girls become comfortable with going into the bathrooms and selecting products privately.

I don't think she is too young....I mean she is young but I was 11 when I got my period and I ways used a pad and then moved on to tampons once I was a little older. Her mother needs to sit down and talk to her about it. Ask her why she only wants to use toilet paper. She might just be nerves to have to use anything else. Her mom should just go and buy her some of the always ultra thin pads. they are more comfortable then some of those really thick ones. I think she just needs to have things explained to her more and let her know that her period may not be that heavy cause she is young and it just started but it could get heavier as she gets older and therefore she will need more than just toilet paper.

From your post it sounds to me like she may be afraid to use sanitary products for what ever reason. Her mother or some other women who is very close to her should sit down and find out what her thoughts are about her period and what she thinks might happen or be said about her if she uses sanitary products. They also may need to explain the reasons you need to use sanitary products. Good Luck

I started my period at 10 years old, back in 1987. It is actually very common/average to start at that age, nowadays. She is not too young to take care of her body properly, she is toilet trained, takes her own baths, gets dressed, does her hair, Right? No offense meant, BUT this should not be an optional thing, it is part of proper personal hygiene and growing up, she doesn't get away with gong to school without brushing her teeth or hair, does she - think of this the same way.

Her mom (or maybe it would be less embarrasing for the girl if an aunt or cousin or older friend) needs to tell her that toilet paper rolled up is just going to be a probelm/embarrassment sometime! Explain her how periods can suddenly get heavier as she grows, and she could leak through, or the TP could wiggle over and fall out of the leg of her undies and pants - talk about mortifying! Maybe tell her a personal story about a mishap with period and say how if she just uses pads, keeps some in her locker/purse/backpack, she can be prepared!

I can understand not wanting to use the granny pads like my mom gave me - like the postpartum ones from the hospital, or even tampons, they are tricky, and putting something inside can gross a girl out that young, not to mention hurt, even the slim ones. My mom bought th ehuge Kotex in the cardboard box back then, they were horrible, and I got so fed up with them, I asked her for some Always thins, she said if I wanted somehting "Fancy" i would have to buy it myself - so I took my allowance and did - and then SHE started using them, after taking one of mine!!!! So maybe she thinks whatever Mom uses is what she has to use and doesn't realize there are tiny, slim, thin, flexible versions out there, or is afraid she will have to go along to buy them, BUT there are so many better choices out there now for pads, they stick great and stay in place, they are so thin they almost feel like nothing but undies, and they make them so absorbant, she wouldn't have to change very often.

Someone should go out and buy her a variety of thin pads of different types/brands, and just discretely make them available to her. Like others said in a non-descript box in the bathroom or inside a drawer or basket, so not everyone sees them. Also, maybe buy her a purse or small makeup bag (to zip them in inside of her locker or backpack) to use at school at that time of the month to keep her own stuff in, so no-one else has to see her carying a pad or tampon to the bathroom.

Maybe her grandma or great grandma should explain to her how very nice and discrete and convienient these new products are, compared with wadded up rags, or the original disposables that had to be safety-pinned onto a "belt" to wear them! Here is actually a website dedicated to the history of menstrual products - we've come a long way baby!

Good Luck!

Jessie

I don't have much to add to what has already been said, other than this: If she is old enough to have her period, she is old enough to wear tampons. That's what they are designed for. If her body is mature enough to start her cycle, then it is mature enough to handle tampons. My Mom brought me the "slim regular" tampons to start with, and as I got older, and my flow got heavier, I moved up to regular tampons. I never had a problem with them. It took me a few tries to get it in right, and to figure out the best position for my body to be in when I inserted them, but my Mom left me alone to figure out what was best for me, and it worked out great for me. As soon as I tried tampons, I never went back to pads, except when it was doctor ordered (i.e. post-partum.)

She is probably feeling embarrassed because she is so young. I was thinking that she doesn't have to try to get a pad into the bathroom without beind noticed if and the toilet paper is already in there. Maybe you should tell her about it being sanitary to use a napkin and not as likely top leak through to her underwear or pants.

What a great question. It was such an issue for me at 12. I couldn't get a tampon in for years (and as stated in some posts, I believe it is kinda young for one, also). I used to do the same thing. But, I would wear a panty liner first and it would fill up and I'd make toilet paper squares over it, while at school. She is finding a way to cope and one day it won't work right. When this happens it will be a catalyst for her to change (I know). In all honesty, my flow is SO heavy I have to wear a super tampon, with a pad and STILL have had to use TP at times, when in a jam. I am guessing her flow is very light for this system to work. Good luck, hopefully you and your cousin can brain storm with all of the great suggestions and websites that everyone gave.

I think the mom needs to go to the store and buy her several kinds to try. Seems like a waste of money but she is probably insecure about pads and doesn't want people to know. I would stick with the thin ones. In my opinion she is to young for tampons. What if one day her period gets heavy and she bleeds threw the toilet paper and her pants. Then kids are going to tease her at school which will only make the period thing worse. My daughter just turned 11 and hasn't started her period yet but I have bought her several types of pads so when she does she can try out to see which she likes better.

I think she is embarrassed by it and doesn't know what to do with the pad or tampon after it's been used. I also think she doesn't want to have to carry one around all the time when she needs them or just in case. Her friends probably aren't dealing with this yet and she's just alone, confused, and embarrassed. Talk to her about discretely carrying them and how to dispose of them in a public bathroom. I was the first girl in my class to go through this and I was the same way. I didn't know what to do tp was easy and convenient and no one knew I had it. I even refused to tell my Mom about it. She figured it out doing laundry. She waited a few months to let me tell her and then realized I wasn't going to so threw pads at me and told me to use them next time. I really wished she would have shown me more how to and what to do with it.

There are a few websites designed for young girls to introduce them to tampons/having your period etc. This is one for tampax, but I am sure there are others :http://www.beinggirl.com/en_US/your-first-tampon.jsp?gcli...

It would be nice for her to become comfortable with herself and start learning to use the products. As she becomes older, toliet paper probably wont do the trick and embarrassement (like leaking through her pants at school) should not be the motivator for her to try some of these products. The websites look kind of fun and there are all kinds of products these days for young girls.

Sometimes your first few periods can be scary if your not aware that it is a natural thing.
However, there are places on the net to order kits to help mothers and daughters discuss periods. A good one that is put together by a pediatrician can be found here:
http://www.myfirstperiodkit.com/
The kit only costs $24.90 (cost + shipping totalled) it has a video that is to be watched together by mother and daughter and helps open up discussion. SHE ALSO DISCUSSES SPECIFICALLY WHY YOU NEED TO WEAR A PAD OR LINER. A pretty bag for period supplies, a bracelet for the daughter..
You can also go to:
www.always.com
They have a section for mom, and a section for girls. In the girls section there is also a question board and so much more!! And an area where they can order a sample kit. It normally comes with pads, liners, feminine wipes and tampons. These samples normally arrive in a plain brown box!! I ordered them for my daughter.
There are also good books to get that involve the whole subject of your period, boys, and other things. I bought my daughter a copy of Judy Blumes "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret". I told her whatever she had wanted to discuss in that book to come to me and ask about it!
All my best wishes to your cousin & her daughter!!
~M.

I don't think she is too young for tampons, depending on her activities. I always danced, so, I had no choice but to use tampons when I got my period. Used properly, they do nothing to disrupt things. If she hates to feeling of pads, tampons are probably the way to go. But, they have such thin pads now, in so many different varieties, I really think she probably has not found the right one for her. Have her mom buy her all the different kinds and try them, until she finds the one that she likes best. I find it hard to believe that wrapping toilet paper in her underwear is more comfortable than a thin pad that doesn't move around when stuck in her panties properly.

I remember being absolutely mortified to even discuss the topic of a "period" with ANYONE, especially my mom. I would be sobbing on the couch in writhing pain from cramps at 12 years of age and of course my mom would know what was going on. She'd just come out and ask me, "are you having your period" and I would squeak out "no" between the sobs, even though I was. I was horrified! I couldn't wrap my head around what was going on with my body and absolutely could not share it with my mother! I hated the idea of wearing pads, they were huge and would slide around (back then) and I thought for sure everyone knew I was wearing one! The thought of a tampon terrified me. I wasn't comfortable enough with my own body yet to attempt such a disturbing feet. I remember one day in the 6th grade, I decided I wasn't going to wear a pad, I was just going to wear three pairs of underwear and use a bunch of toilet paper, folded nicely, to maybe take the place of it! Wrong idea! About half way through the day and at least ten trips to the restroom (like that wasn't obvious), I felt something tickling my calf under my pants. What do you know? It was the tp that I had been using instead of a pad! I was mortified when I reached up my pant leg to find this and right in the middle of my math class!
I guess the bottom line is this: with time she will acclimate to her ever changing body and eventually she will realize that all women go through this and that is nothing to be ashamed of. She will probably use the tampons when she's ready, like I did. But I definitely think that a pad should not be negotiable!

I really like Stephanie's idea about providing a selection of products in the bathroom for her to try, in private.

I was incredibly embarrassed by getting my first periods (and I was 13). I didn't even tell my mother and tried using rolled up toilet paper, which of course meant I leaked through to my pants. Now there are so many better choices of thin pads and panty liners and slim tampons. (There is no "too young" for tampons, physically. And I HATED my period until I got up the nerve to ask my mother to try tampons).