Perfect 18 Month Old Sleepers Turned Non-sleeping 20 Month Olds!!!

Updated on March 24, 2009
B.M. asks from Laredo, TX
12 answers

I could really use some advice! I have 20 month old identical twin girls. A couple of months ago one of them climbed out of their crib... so we converted to toddler beds. They have been great sleepers up until the time change! We would eat, bathe, play an hour, read books, brush teeth, they would climb into their beds and within 10 minutes they would be asleep! But now, at least 2 months after having the toddler beds they have started climbing out of bed after we leave the room and playing. I have taken everything out of their room and they still do it. We have put them back into bed over and over and over and they continue to get up. They also do this during nap time. In fact they have stopped napping because they will still be awake after 2 hours so I let them out of their room because it feels cruel to just trap them in there for longer than that if they are not asleep. They aren't ever upset during these "non-sleep" times, but they have become much moodier because of the lack of sleep during the day! Tonight we put them down at 8:30 ( which is a normal time for them)and they finally were asleep at 10! Sometimes we can get them to sleep by patting their backs and rubbing their heads, but we really do not want them to get into that habit. Please help! I really am at a loss! Please help me get my good sleepers and happy baby girls back! Is it the time change? Their age? A phase? Any suggestions????

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So What Happened?

I wish it would have been as easy as they weren't getting enough exercise, but we are almost always out playing, climbing, running, swinging, etc. But it has helped to keep putting them back in bed. I haven't gotten to the point where I can leave the room to do this because they feed off each other. (Separate rooms is just not an option) So I sit in their room with a book and put them back in bed and make them stay lying down. (They like to pop their heads up and say stuff like "mama" "baby" "hello"...) I do this until they are almost asleep for bed and nap. This process is taking anywhere between 20 minutes and an hour. Tonight will be the third night, so wish us luck! :) Thank you so much for the helpful advice.

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S.S.

answers from Houston on

When this happened to us...It must be a phase because all 4 of my kids did it at one time or another. I would sit in the room in a corner with a little light and read. That way I could see what was going on but I pretended to ignore them. If they did get up I would just have to look up from my book and they would lay right down. They normally would start going to sleep by theirselves in a week or so. With the first one I had tried the lay down with them in bed and allways fell asleep and would wake up with a stiff neck...thats how I came up with the reading quietly in a corner!!

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K.N.

answers from Austin on

I have triplets that are now 5, I can;t remember how we adjusted the time. It seems like we kept them up later and night, so they would nap the next day. I think you need to separate them-mine nap to this day, but they are all in their own room-that's what helped the most. Sometimes they don't sleep, but I make it mandatory that they have at least 1 hour of time by themselves. Those days when they were little were rough! My mind is a fog the first 2 years. Hope this helps!

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U.

answers from San Antonio on

Keep doing what you are doing. Stay consistant and they will conform eventually. My son did this, too, but he figured it out after a while. I'm sure he'll go through some other sleep avoiding phase. It seems like it isn't working, but if you stay consistant with your expectations and keep returning them to bed, eventually they will give up.

Or you will. :)

Good luck.

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K.K.

answers from Killeen on

I have twins who share a room as well. I have read your other responses and while I agree with some of their responses, I don't think they really deal with what is going on here.

1) Yes, the time change does have an effect on your child's bedtime routine. While you are able to adjust, your 20 month old twins have no idea, and their internal clocks certainly do not understand the concept of leaping forward and falling back twice a year... So, until they are a few years older, when our clocks change, they will take a week or two to adjust...

2) As far as them getting up and playing when you put them to bed. This is much like when the began climbing out of their crib. You put them into toddler beds so that they wouldn't fall trying to climb out of the crib and hurt themselves. But now they have discovered "hey, we can get up all by ourselves!!!" so they do.

In order to resolve this all you need is consistency. With one child it usually only takes 3 or 4 nights and naps, but because there are twins who feed off each other being in the same room it will take a bit longer to sing in, you may be in for one to two weeks, but if you are consistent, the following will pay off, I promise.

When you put them down for a nap/bed time you tell them to stay in bed and go to sleep. As soon as you hear signs of them getting up, you go in and put them firmly back to bed and tell them no it is nap/bed time and they need to get their rest, stay in bed and go to sleep.

At nap time keep it up until they either go to sleep or have been there as long as their nap time usually is. At bed time keep it up until they go to sleep. It is tiring and frustrating, but it WILL pay off, and your kids will go back to their normal routine.

I would also suggest making sure they do something that uses up their energy close to time for nap or bedtime whether it is a running free out back or coordinated excercises with mom or playing something like simon says or redlight/green light (which are great, by the way, for teaching them to listen for specific signals from you or others, or to stop on command).

Good Luck...and remember, this too shall pass, and your girls will give you hugs and kisses and you will forget all about how tough the bed time thing was!!! ;-)

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A.S.

answers from Houston on

I had a friend that this happened to. She just started putting her little girl down an hour earlier...so maybe you can just adjust the time. So, if you normally put them to bed at 8:30, try 7 since it took them 1 1/2 hours to go to sleep. Then,if you see they go to bed at 8:00, then the next night try putting them down at 7:30. Hopefully they will get the sleep they need and you can eventually work them up to their usual bedtime!

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P.S.

answers from Houston on

When my son started getting out of bed he got a few chances - first a warning, second his blankie (or something) taken away, third a spanking (which was really a swat on his thigh). I know many don't agree with spanking but it worked for us - we have never had problems with him staying in bed during bed transitions, time changes, vacations, etc. and he knows he is still the most beloved kid in the world. He's the happiest kid when he gets his sleep so I have to make sure he sleeps b/c we really don't enjoy each other's company when one or both of us are sleepy and cranky and isn't that the point of having kids - to be able to enjoy them and not spend all our time in unneccesary conflict? Well, all these suggestions are great and I hope one of them works for you. Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Austin on

Mine older one went through this as well (but with screaming and crying), and it was a matter of staying consistant and not giving up. We also had the same trouble when the boys were 2 and 4. We kept putting them to bed earlier and when they were going to bed as 6:30 (because they would talk and stay awake until 9) they seemed to finally get it. They now go to bed at 7:30 and are asleep by 8:15 or so. Having them in the same room is hard. Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Beaumont on

A little advice about naptime--don't give it up! Even if they don't always sleep, some quiet "down time" every afternoon gives MOM a nuch needed break. Maybe you could add in a few picture books for them to "read" while they're having their rest time. I did this with my kids every afternoon during the summer--like my mom had done--the rule was, stay on your bed, you don't have to sleep, but you have to be quiet enough that someone else might if they're sleepy. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

We had this problem also with our son. We ended up being "hall monitors". We sat outside his bedroom door and waited for him to go to sleep. He couldn't see us so when he tried to get out we told him "get back in that bed". We read the entire bible but finally he got the message that it was bed time and to go to sleep. Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

Try adjusting their sleep time gradually --15 minute increments until they have gotten used to the time change. Make certain they are getting enough exercise! Two hours in their bedroom is way too long to be in there if they are not sleeping. Take them outside and enjoy this beautiful weather. My oldest child phased out naps completely before she was two and I tried everything. My other two didn't phase out their naps completely until they were 3 1/2. Every child is individual--no matter what all the books say. If you keep them active and they are able to use up their energy, then I think your problems will be resolved. Good Luck!

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L.S.

answers from Odessa on

I don't have a whole lot of good advice here, but the time change affected my one year old in a similar way. She would take naps and bedtime pretty much at the same time every day and now it's been anything goes. Truly, I personally have never had any of my children on a real sleep or feeding schedule, and now my 9 and 13 year old are really good about going to bed when they are sleepy whether it's 9 o clock or midnight. They don't seem to see the need to push themselves to stay up like some of the other kids their age, so maybe the more relaxed approach when they were babies did something good for them. Also, if I am just dead tired and can't stay up with the baby, I will go ahead and put her in bed with me, at least until she is asleep enough to transfer her to her own bed. She seems to snuggle right down and fall asleep when I do that.

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L.B.

answers from Austin on

B.,
Have you considered either placing them in separate areas to sleep OR having their bed times offset so one is asleep when the other is put in to sleep?
"We would eat, bathe, play an hour, read books, brush teeth, they would climb into their beds and within 10 minutes they would be asleep!" My niece reports a slightly different order of events: play an hour, eat, bathe and brush teeth, take for a walk, read books, bed. She said the bath followed by a walk in a wagon or stroller followed by books really quieted the children.
I wish you well.
A little about me: I'm an about to be grandmother.

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