When you throw a party and someone in the hosting family has food allergies, do you serve all allergy-friendly food in your home?
For example, we have egg allergies in our house so I make all egg-free foods. For parties I serve veggie tray and fruit tray, chips and dips that don't contain eggs. For the meal I serve salads that don't contain eggs. However, if I make something that would contain eggs, I use the egg-free substitute. For potato salad I make it with Veganaise, an egg-free mayo substitute. Desserts are hard to make without eggs, but I do use substitutes so egg-free cookies and cakes are on the menu. I figure it's my home, my party, my food choice, right?
I don't ask that the food allergy be accommodated at OTHER people's parties, often we bring our own egg-free dessert or eat ahead of time.
My mom thinks I'm being insensitive to my guests by "forcing" them to eat foods without eggs. We don't notice a difference in taste, but we're used to an egg-free menu. There are subtle taste differences, but I've never had a complaint. Often I'll get asked how I made the cookies so moist and delicious! She thinks I should make the food with eggs, and then serve a different portion (or meal) to the person with egg allergies.
I think that is how that person lives ALL THE TIME. Always having limited choices at parties and at restaurants, always bringing their own food and always being careful. I feel a party thrown at their own house should be "safe."
What do you do with food allergies?
Your house = your food.
Mom can stay home and eat eggs by herself if eggs are that important to her.
My daughter, like another post, has a peanut allergy.
We have to deal with the allergy so much outside of the home that I feel whatever is in your house should be safe. I don't ever want my daughter to have to question the food in our house or not be able to eat something that her siblings are eating or worry about cross-contamination.
Our allergist said the majority of exposures to allergens come from friends and family who just "don't get it." Such as the grandmother who says "Oh, I'm sure just one bite won't hurt..." Or someone setting out a bowl of mixed nuts thinking it's safe because they picked the peanuts out.
Your house, your party, your food choices.
I agree more with your than your mom. Although I can kinda see her viewpoint.
At the same time though YOU are throwing the party. So I'd assume anyone attending said party knows about your eating habits and allergies. So they probably won't care or even notice the "Special" menu.
And hey If someone coming to YOUR party doesn't like what's on the menu, they can bring something of their own.
I think you're right, your party should be safe for your family.
Our neighbor kid can't eat milk. So he can't eat pizza. His mom will however order pizza for his birthday parties. The cake is made his special way.
I would just keep doing what you are doing and if mom wants to bring something for herself, that should be okay too.
I agree with you. It's your house, you can serve what works for you.
I have family members with celiac's disease (severe intolerance to gluten) and I would never expect them to bake break or make wheat pasta for us! I also have a son with a peanut allergy and I never bring peanuts into our home. I would never make peanut butter cookies and then tell him he couldn't have any.
Jessica
My daughter has an anaphylactic peanut allergy and the rule in our home is NO PEANUTS...period. Everyone who comes to our home knows that they are not allowed (yes I said allowed) to bring even a wrapped candy bar in their purse that contains peanuts. My daughter is 2 years old and into everything. Not to mention, that if I were to make, say PB & J sandwiches for all the other kids, but not give her one, there is still the factor of cross-contamination. I'm not sure if an egg allergy is the same, but that is just not a risk I'm willing to take. Simply put, it is your home, and when you throw a party, your guests will either eat what you choose to serve, or they'll learn to fill up before coming over. Food allergies can be and often are deadly, and someone who doesn't live with one on a daily basis (either personally or through a child) can not fully comprehend the magnitude of the potential risks. Stick to you guns on this one :)
I think you are doing just fine.
If you were a vegetarian, would your mom think that you should cook meat? While I realize that one is a choice and the other is an allergy, its still your house and your rules.
My youngest has an allergy to peanuts. I don't make anything that has nuts in it. People who come to our house know that he is allergic and don't bring nuts into our home.
I agree with you though...your house, your family should feel that they can eat anything they want.
I am deathly allergic to fish/seafood and it isn't allowed in our house. That means my assistants cannot bring tuna salad for lunch and friends have had to leave shrimp pasta leftovers at restaurants. As an added precaution, I have refused to allow friends and family to touch my daughter until they wash their hands and banned kisses on her until they've brushed their teeth after eating seafood, just so I don't pick anything up off her skin. When dealing with allergies, you have to do what keeps you safe.
I see nothing wrong with how you're choosing to throw your parties and plan your menus.
When we take our kids places, we take our own snacks, our own milk, etc. so we don't impose on the other people.
We try to accommodate the kids in daycare when bringing in cookies, etc. if there's a known food allergy. I try to be really considerate so all people can participate and enjoy themselves.
If I invited someone to a party that was vegetarian, I'd make sure there was enough for them to have to fill themselves. Vegan - I'd probably be more inclined to let them accommodate themselves.
In 10 years in the pharmaceutical industry, taking lunches to offices to be able to talk to the doctors, I heard some crazy things. One office in a very small, rural town would tell us to find out of a restaurant cooked in olive oil because 1 of the 22 people who worked there was allergic. My feeling is that if I were the one to have that allergy, I'd make sure to have a frozen meal, a can of soup or something as a back up just in case. However, I always tried to accommodate people, if possible. One doctor was allergic to Mayo, so I always made sure to bring him a meal without mayo or to ask for mayo on the side for the people who wanted to add it.
I, personally, believe that if you are the one affected and need the accommodation, you may also have to accept that you won't be able to eat/attend certain functions accordingly. I certainly had to during chemo when I had no immune system and had to politely decline invitations so I didn't catch a cold and die.
Good luck - hope that helps.
I think it is fine that way you don't have to worry about eggs in any of the foods in your house. If you have leftovers, no point in trying to remember if it has eggs when you pull it back out. It sounds like everyone else is enjoying the egg free food and you are serving plenty. I vote for staying egg free in your home and I'm sure guests don't mind and many probably enjoy trying something slightly different if they even notice.
I agree with you 1000% My House / My Rules / My Recipes :)
I have 2 SILs who are Vegetarians (I is actually Vegan) and I make a point of having 1 or 2 things for them but other than that - they bring their own. I also ask that people let them go first at buffets so there is no cross "contamination" by accident. No one has ever said anything (except my FILs new wife who is already a pita lol).
Anyways, you are doing the right thing and your Mom is WRONG
I agree with "Your party, your choice of foods".I think you handle it well. If the eggless food is being eaten at your parties, sounds like there is no problem and your guests are not leaving hungry and unhappy. If you have a lot of something left after a party, that might be a sign not to serve that particular thing again. If your Mom is attending one of your parites and really wants something with eggs, maybe she could make that something and bring it herself. Then you'd need to possibly put a little sign next to it that says
" allergy alert: contains eggs" . My 22 Month son is allergic to eggs as well, but only raw.Cooked are ok. He's on antihistamine 24/7 anyway because he has quite a few allergies---only some of which we've been able to identify.
I would keep doing what you are doing, it is your house and in my opinion it does not taste different (and it does not really matter if it does, safe food is best).
Oh and thanks for mentioning Veganaise... I am sensitive to eggs and mayo has been off the list for years because I always feel sick after having it on a sandwich, I never even thought or knew there was a substitute.
I agree with you completely. If you are throwing the party, you have the right to serve only food that the people in your home can eat. My son is allergic to dairy, eggs and most nuts. At his party a few weeks ago, the menu was 100% free of all allergens. We didn't get a single complaint and, in fact, got many compliments. I've been asked SO MANY times for the recipe for his cake, usually from people who can eat dairy and eggs.
I think your mom is wrong and she should be more sensitive to the needs of YOUR family, not your guests. As long as your guests have enough food to eat that they aren't hungry, no one will care or notice that eggs are missing.
That's like saying you should serve meat if you were a vegetarian. That's ludicrous! Your house, your rules.
