PARENTS Of Girl/boy Twins in School - Together or Not?

If one were dominant and the other a follower, I could see separating them so the follower could learn to be herself out from her sisters shadow and so they could develop a separate set of friends. As long as they are both doing well together they might as well stay together.

I can't answer this from a twin perspective, but my brother and I were 14 months apart and went to a one-room school for a number of years and were in class together (K-2 and then again 7/8). I really liked having him around--granted we're not twins, but I thought it might be a useful bit of information.

I dont have twins, but my husband is a twin and his mom had to fight to keep them together since the schools think they need to be split up. The twins nowadays will always advocate for keeping kids together. Especially in your case, when they are already doing great, why mess that up?

My husband's cousin has a set of boy/boy twins and she allowed the school to let her split the boys up. Now they have a ton of problems, trouble concentrating in school, etc, that they didnt have before they were split up.

My suggestion is always to keep the kids together. Eventually, due to the way classes are in middle/high school, they will split up, but there's no reason to force it unless they ask for it.

I have a twin brother. We were in the same K class. My brother was dependent on me and looked to me for approval to answer questions, play, etc. So, for first grade my mom split us up. I think it was a good move for both of us. For one thing, my brother needed to gain some independence. And I needed to not feel like a lesser student. I did well in school, but had to work at it, whereas learning came naturally to my brother. While we weren't outwardly competitive, if I had to be a daily witness to how well my brother did and how easily he picked up on concepts I would have been a miserable child. Being in a different class allowed me to accept that I was my own person and I learned differently than him. I was happy for how well he did and I was happy for how well I did. I really don't think either one of us would have flourished if we were together. And I think that it helped us (or at least me) in high school also. By that time I gained enough confidence in my academic abilities to not be bothered by the comments from those oh-so-funny male high school teachers who would poke fun at students for their differences/inadequacies/unique qualities. There were a few who periodically reminded me in a number of ways that my brother had out-performed me on a test. As if I didn't know that. LOL!

Obviously, each set of twins is unique and you have to look at your own kids to determine what is best for them. I understand wanting to do what is most convenient for you, but doing was is best for the kids academically, socially, emotionally is how I would make the decision if faced with it.

I have 3 year old identical twins and based on everything that I've read and other twin parents I've spoken to, the decision to split them up should be totally case-by-case. In your case, as they are b/g, neither is dominant and they are not unusually socially reliant on each other, then I would just keep them in the same classroom.

Honestly, most of the twin parents I know (about 6 or 7 with school aged kids) have kept their kids together until about 1st grade or so. Only one set of twins (b/g) have had to be split up due to conflict/dominance issues.

I have 4 children. My oldest is a boy, followed 2 years later with boy/girl twins followed three years later with a girl. The twins were together in kindergarten and I was of the mind that they could be together in school because of the different genders, etc. However, when I would pick them up from school one would excitedly tell a story of something that happened in the classroom that day and the other would say, "I was going to tell mom that!" So I thought it was a good idea for them to have separate worlds to experience initially. They remained separated until 5 grade when I asked them to be put together because in our elementary, 5 grade was notorious for volumes of homework. I needed them on the same page with the older also starting Junoir High. It worked beautifully! We had a discussion in advance that any family diagreements had to be handled at home not during school, but it never came up. They are now sophmores in high school and are very close. All in all a fantastic experience!
Good Luck,
D.

I am keeping my boy /girl twins together for at least until 1st grade. They started preschool in the fall . It is a school where all kids play together for the the first forty mins (ages 3-6) Then they separate into groups for art,language,science etc. At first they were separating my kids and at the teacher conference a month later they told us our son 's speech was a little delayed. We noticed him struggling after he started school and was separated. We had them keep them together in groups after that. My son became more confident and his speech improved.The funny thing is at home he is the leader. At school my daughter is so much more social. She plays with anyone where my son is timid about approaching others. It helps him to know she is there. It was too hard to separate them when that's all they have known since birth. Most moms I know choose to keep them together for at least the first few years until they are ready. Good luck!

My b/b twins started pre-k this year and while I was reluctant to separate them, for many of the reasons you stated including convenience, the fact that they do a good job of playing independently etc, I was convinced to allow them to be in different classes. I'm so glad we did. Since it's only for a couple hours a day, they still have plenty of time together, but have really blossomed and enjoyed making their own friends. In fact, they don't much like it when they both get invited to the same party or play date as they so very much like having something that is theirs alone. Each has been able to develop areas of their personality that I wasn't even aware were not being stimulated when they're together. And they really enjoy comparing what they each did in class and sharing what they've learned with each other. It has been the best thing for all of us. I'm not thrilled with the extra social secretary/driver level, but it's not that awful.

I have b/g twins that I kept together the first year of preschool and separated the 2nd year because I felt I had a better chance of changing my mind with the preschool should it not work out. For us, it was a great decision. Mine also were very independent of each other and didn't rely on each other under 'normal' circumstances. However, I did find that they would come to each others rescue in social situations and this was hampering social development in my son. And the surprise in separating them, thinking it was for my son, was the social development my daughter also needed to gain confidence when she no longer had her brother to fall back on. They are finishing kindergarten this year and have loved having their own classes. They talk about it all the time. It's also been helpful as they've made some of their own friends. I've had to work a little harder when it comes to volunteering, but I still believe it's been worth it. They do 'keep score' which drives me nuts!! But we've managed and I do feel it's also helped to to learn that just because they are twins, does not mean everything is equal.

My response doesn't help from the standpoint of keeping them together, but it is another b/g experience. Good luck. You know them best so you're in the best position to make this decision. And chances are, either way, they will continue to develop and do great so there is no 'wrong' decision.

I have boy/girl twins and while I'm new at the school thing (Mine have only been on preschool for going on 4 weeks right now) - they are together.

I was a little worried when the teacher told me they would be together -- but from what she has told me, they do play on their own - but also have each other there for "comfort" if needed.

Since they started school a few weeks ago, they've really started playing with each other more...noticing each other.... of course, bugging each other...which just warms my heart!

I have B/G twins in fourth grade. I kept them together until 3rd grade and they were fine. It made things way easier on me and them. I seperated them this year and hated everything about it. I also volunteer a lot and had to pick & choose this year what classroom for what event....It was awful and did bother my daughter when I wasn't in her class. I also noticed that even though they are in same grade one of my twins had a ton of more homework than the other and at this age it felt very un-fair and my child with all the homework did not understand why. I would def. keep them together, I will be putting mine back together fo 5th grade.

I have girl/girl twins in 2nd grade. They have always been together, and we are again accessing this for next year. They are independent at school. They have there own friends as well as shared friends. One is more social, and one is more focused and responsile with her school work. They do not cling to each other at school, and actually tend to be seperate.

For the same reasons as you I would like to keep them together. The teachers tend to have different homework, and different fieldtrips, so it would be less of a hassle. Of course, if they expressed an interest in seperating, or their being together affected their school work or social skills, I would seperate them.

Good luck with your decision, and just access the situation each year.

L.

I would say ask them. If they are as you say, ask if they would rather be in the same class or separate. If they the same, the keep them together. I'm sure there will come a day when they may not want to be together in the same class.......but until them, let them judge, unless an issue comes up that tells you it needs to be otherwise.

I do not have twins. However, I just thought that I would pass it along that in my school district (54-Schaumburg) you do not have a choice. District policy is that after Kindergarten, twins are automatically separated into different classes.

My sis has twin boys she has never thought of seperating them apart from each other.In some schools there are 2 class rooms per grade level will they be able to attend the same school but get different teachers?I personally would never seperate my kids twins or not apart one going to this school the other to another school.

I have twin boys who are in pre-k this year and I chose to separate them....not going to lie, parties are kind of tough to bounce back and forth but I think the separation has been great for them. They each get in the car glad to see each other and enjoy talking about their days, what they did, what their teachers said, friends said, etc. My boys are always together except for Tuesdays and Thursdays 9-2:00. I think even twins need a break from each other, it allows them to be defined as separate individuals, not one half of a whole. I went to high school with two twin girls that were in class together from kindergarten all the way through high school. Frankly, everyone saw them as pretty weird because they seemed to be unable to function without each other. That was twenty years ago that we all graduated and I am now friends with both on facebook...it's obvious nothing has changed, they seem to be still glued at the hip with very little life outside of each other. My MIL is a twin and although she does see her twin a lot, they are capable to living separate lives and not depend on each other like the one's I mentioned above. Obviously, that's what I want for my boys one day so we will definitely continue to separate them for their school years.

There are several sets of twins on our block and they all go to the same school. In fact, I don't think I know any twins that don't go to the same school.

i would keep them together if you're ok with it just want to warn yopu about something: if your kids are competitive with each other that will cause problems and distruption. i kept my twins (G/G) together at age 3, homeschooled age 4, and together for kindergarten. kindergarten is when we had problems. if the teacher would ask on to answer a question and not immediately afterwards call the other one, huge problems would erupt. the twin who didn't get called right away would make a scene as she felt shortchanged. my girls compete for my affection. that is it. or at least i thought that was it. they're both top of the class, and even that is not enough. they want to be the one being called first always. so fir first grade i am splitting them up. that is the only reason. otherwise, they're not attached to the hip, have different interests and got close to different kids. but the competition became a problem. good luck