Parents Late Picking up Thier Kid from School.

Does her teacher stand with her untill the parent comes? At the elementary schools my kids have gone to the teachers themselves have to hand over the children to the bus or the parent or person whom the child leaves with.

I would contact the teacher and the office.
I would absolutely take her to the other waiting area, why she hasn't been there all this time I dont' now. She is the school's responsibility until the parent's get there.

You need to take her to the main office b/c the school is responsible for her until someone picks her up. More importantly, there's a good chance that the school is keeping an eye on the situation and they need to know that she's being "forgotten".

I would suggest that the next time you see her waiting, you walk her inside and ask for a minute of the principal or AP's time. Give them a brief run-down of what you have observed (not what you have heard) and that this isn't the first, second or third time this has happened. They have the "authority" to do something about it, so let them be the bad guys!

Report it to someone - principal or social services... It's for the child's own good. I think you can do it anonymously. Good luck - poor little thing

You need to let the school take care of this. I know you feel sad for her but I am confident that the school has a policy of what happens when they have a chronically late pick up situation. By you stepping into help, you are actually hindering the process of this getting fix.

You're being nice, but you should let her go to the area with the other kids who are awaiting pick up and let the school deal with it. At our elementary schools, we have aftercare programs. If a child isn't enrolled in aftercare, they will keep them in there until the parent(s) can be found. The parents then have to pay for that day of aftercare. If it becomes a chronic problem, the school administration and counselors will deal with it -and that's who should deal with it. If she asks you or your daughter about waiting with you, just tell her you have to leave in order to go somewhere. The school needs to know about this problem! The parents are basically using you right now to catch their slack. Don't let them get away with it anymore!

I would follow your husband's advice. You really don't want to get involved in this. Since it happens so frequently I would start handing her over to the office, which you still really shouldn't have to do personally b/c I would assume someone would still notice her if she hasn't been picked up in a timely manner. Just give her a hug and wave good bye and have your kid tell her she'll see her tomorrow...then leave. There should be staff members on duty to make sure all kids are picked up/accounted for. I don't think you're going to get on anyone's bad side but you can't just take charge of their daughter either. Soon it will turn into a situation where they are consciously taking advantage of you and that puts you in an even worse position.

Listen to your husband... just take her to the office. I know it will be hard for you because I can tell you are a very caring parent. You would want someone to do the same if it was your child. Since it happens 1/2 the time, don't let it be your problem. Her parents will take you for granted and expect you to do this. Get yourself out of the equation. If the little girl gives you those eyes, tell her you need to be somewhere and that the school will make sure she gets home.

As long as her Mom feels she can get away with picking her up late, she has no incentive to make the effort to be on time. The next time, take the little girl's hand and walk her to the office, explaining that the school office will help get in touch with her Mom from now on if she is late. You and your daughter can still be sweet and friendly to her each day, just don't take on the calling and waiting around role. Maybe speak with the school office beforehand to let them know how many times you have been helping by calling and waiting. Perhaps they can help the child get in to an after school program for working parents. I think you can get taken advantage of for a long time if you don't gently transfer over to the office.

If you are concerned the child's parents are neglectful report them to CPS, child protective services and express your concerns. This way it is done anonymously and the living situation will be looked into.

It sounds like the school has a plan if they have an area for parent pick up. Does a teacher stay in that area until all kids are picked up? If yes, then you need to direct the little girl to that area and be about your business. If no, then I would take her to the office. Your only other choice is to do this every day indefinitely.

As you mentioned, the school has procedures in place for these types of situations. Unfortunately, the damage has been done and now it will be very difficult to be undone. The child should not be waiting with you and your daughter. She should be waiting with the group of children and teachers. There's nothing wrong with letting the girls spend some time together chatting after school, but the school should not be releasing this child to you, and you should not be taking on this responsibility.

I would simply pick up your child, chat a minute or two with the friend, and then tell her, "I'm sorry but we have an appointment and need to leave now, you'll have to wait with the other kids."

How old is the little girl? I think your husband's idea is good -- the school needs to be aware of what is going on as she is on school property past school hours. I would be worried for her and would take her to the office; they'll then begin monitoring the situation.

How old is this child?

At my daughter's school, if a parent is late... the child goes to the school office and tells them. The office then calls the parent.
Or the child tells their Teacher.
The Teacher then calls the parent.

Yes, TAKE the child to the school office.
Tell them, it is habitual.. that the parents are late.
Tell them it is 'anonymous' but you just want to let them know.

Let the school, deal with it.

As hard as it is to see her wait by hersel-you are enabling her parents to be late. Go into the office and tell whomever is there that you have to run and to please keep a special lookout for the little girl because her parents are often late and you aren't able to wait with her.

Personally my heart breaks for neglected children who have not so great parents. I also feel bad that if they get reported what will happen to the little girl. However, somethings you can't fix and I would just tell her to go wait inside from now on until her parents are there. Its hard enough dealing with our lives but to take on a burden of another family is stressful. The school can deal with the parents and the parents can deal with the consequences.

I used to work at an elementary school.

I think even though you feel bad for this little girl because her parents are so irresponsible. Unfortunately, the little girl needs to be waiting with the teachers and other school workers. The school needs to be aware that the little girls parents are not following through with their responsibility.

The school needs to know, as it is right now, you are permitting their bad behavior (mush like a mom who keeps bailing out a son that keeps getting in trouble for forgetting homework and has mom drive up to drop it off so it won't be late). They need a kick in the pants. You can take her to the office and tell the office that you forgot your cell and her parents have not yet come for her again. It takes the blame off of you but at the same time lets the school know what is going down.

Of course you will get a stern talking to for "hiding" this problem from them for so long. You can still stay with her in the office.

While it's great you're staying with the girl, you should have only had to do that a couple of times. You're enabling the parents in their behavior.

What I love about my kids school is that a teacher is there with the class until every child is accounted for. If parents haven't showed up after so long, the child is taken to the office and they start calling numbers in the childs packet. A child is never just left alone. It did happen once recently, quite by accident. I usually have so many little ones milling around me that the teacher miscounted and thinking each child had been collected she left as well and I had an extra one. The mom was late that day too and I had to call her. But she literally lived just down the street and it was the ONLY time she was ever late like that (she's very pregnant) and the teacher felt horrible she missed a child which probably wouldn't have happened anyway if she hadn't been in with my horde. :)

I'm concerned that your school doesn't have a policy of the teacher ensuring that either each child has been collected or that the child is in a safe place while waiting. Are there adults supervising the children in the area for the parent pickup? If you see the girl alone again, you really need to take her to the office and let them know. It's happened enough that' it should no longer be your responsibility. It's time for the school to get involved.

Well in Texas when this happens CPS is called. My nephew lived across the street from the school at the time but still was not able to walk home yet. My BIL was able to walk meet him at the crosswalk (recovering from major back surgery) at the time but one day he started new medications and fell asleep; I am the back up. They called me, this was the first time btw, and said if I can not come pick him up with in 20 min then I could meet him at the CPS office. I was 30 min away, on my way to work and I told them this and that I would be there asap. About 10 min later I got a call that my BIL had gotten him so I turned around and went into work. I agree and disagree with the policy ... the case you described is probably why this rule was put into place to begin with.

Can you just call the school office or go in and talk to somone in the office another time to let them know that the parents aren't always there to pick her up? That way you wouldn't have to walk her to the office (and she wouldn't tell her parents it was you). Hopefully they could have a teacher or someone else out there to keep an eye on her and they could take her inside if she isn't picked up on time. That way the parents don't know that you got involved at all - they just think the teacher saw her sitting out there and took her inside. If the teachers see you sitting out there waiting with her all the time they may think that you have some kind of arrangement with her parents for you to wait with her.

You need to take her to the office b/c if the school sees a pattern and they suspect neglect (which is what is happening) then they will call the proper authorities and this child will get the help she needs and/or the parents will get the intervention they need.

I would give a simple explanation to the child that do to a commitment you are no longer able to wait for her. OR I would tell her teacher that you have been waiting with her and that you no longer are able to do that and then leave it in her hands. So kind of you to watch over her...

The school absolutely must know about it every time the girl is left waiting. The school should call the parents -- not because you don't want to, but because having the school do it creates a record of the parents' repeated lateness. Eventually the school should, if the administration is even halfway awake, inform the parents they cannot be late consistently like that. You of course can stilll stay around to be sure she's OK, if you choose, but be sure the school is keeping up with every incident officially.

You may not be aware of it but I'd bet the girl's teacher and the school may already know that there are issues in this home and with these parents, based on classroom things you wouldn't see.

If you know the school counselor and are confident the counselor can be told things in confidence and not identify you, you could talk privately to the counselor and say parents suspect these parents are using drugs. You don't have enough to go to police but you can speak to a counselor and say, is this enough to go to Child Protective Services with?

You are an attentive, caring adult, and you are doing beautifully by this child.

Here's my question for you: Why is she hanging out with you guys instead of being in the parent pick-up area ALREADY? At my kids' school, there are 2 locations that kids go after school. Either to the bus lines (supervised by teachers or other school staff) or to the parent pick up lines out in front of the school (also supervised by school staff). If they are not escorted to one of these 2 locations, they go to the cafeteria for "after school care" where they are tended by prior arrangement only (and extra costs to the parents). If a child's parent does not arrive to pick them up in a "timely" manner, the kids are taken to the office, where they sit until a parent arrives. While they wait, the school secretary gets their names written down and then proceeds to contact a parent by telephone.

So how is this little girl not already IN the parent pick up area? How is she away from there and with you and your child in another area? That needs to stop. Does the school think that YOU are picking her up and taking her home? I don't understand how/why you are staying with her... where? She should be in the parent pick up area, not with you. Then you don't have to notify anyone. The school will BE aware and I'm sure has a protocol to follow already in place.

She needs to go to the office. It is their responsibility to keep track of the students and the parents. You are interfering with, the school looking out for the safety of the child. Is her teacher not out there watching her? Because the teacher should be taking her to the office. If her parents do smoke weed and are consistently late CPS needs to be called. Unless you want to be the one responsible for this than you need to inform the school about what is happening.

How sad for the child! She must feel embarrassed and lonely a lot of the time. I'm guessing these children wait outside of the school for rides and pick-ups, otherwise the teacher would take her to the office if the parents were late. Have you talked to the teacher about it quietly? Maybe the teacher can ask the girl to wait at the office for her ride and tell the parents, if asked, that he/she didn't want the girl getting cold. Then the office can take care of it from there and note how late these parents are in getting their daughter. I know you don't want to get on their "bad side", but would you feel comfortable talking to one of the parents at some point and just telling him/her that the girl was worried because she was alone at the school and although you wish you could stay with her every day like you have, your schedule's getting crazy and you just can't stay? I just feel so sorry for this little girl!

It seems to me that you are keeping her parents from getting the natural consequences of not picking her up.

I would make it a point to tell on them. I would specifically tell the teacher that you are having to call them because they forget her and that she is standing there alone for extended periods of time. That way if they call child welfare on the parents for not taking care of their child it is the school the parents will be mad at and not you.

The girl is on school property and therefore is in a safe place. I would notify the teacher at the door or in the office that no one had picked up the child. Then leave. The teachers can keep an eye out and see if the parents come get her on time. It takes the responsibility off you and back on to the school where it should be.

Another option is to offer to transport this child to and from school. If they give you gas money then you are lucky. But there is no way of knowing if they will even remember to be home. Then what will you do? Take her home with you and when they come to get her they come in and then they start thinking your families are friends.

I would defiantly let the front office know. Let the school contact the parents. This way you will not get on the little girl's parents "bad side". You are an amazing person and mother for caring so much and staying with the little girl, but it isn't your responsibility. Just make sure she is safe and the school is aware of the situation.

The office (I might even venture to say the principal) needs to know this is happening. Take her to the office when they are super late and let her wait there. You can still wait with her, but the frequent tardiness needs to be on record just in case there is a bigger issue later. The school is ultimately responsible for that little girl until she's handed off to her parents - the people in the office need to know where she is.

While you have already had many responses to this issue, I would like to add and stress that more than anything, the school needs to be made aware of this little girl's situation. It is SO sad, and unfortunate, and I understand you feeling bad for her and wanting to help her - but the biggest way you can help is by getting the school involved. If her parents are negligent, the school would be able to do more to help than you. I think walking her to the waiting area is your best bet in helping her out. What a tough situation for this poor little girl. Good luck.

Since this seems to be a chronic problem, you need to let the school deal with it. Otherwise, you could be the one stuck with reporting them to DES (if it goes that far). I can tell that you really care about this little girl, but at the same time you don't want to get involved in that mess, so please make the teachers aware of the problem. You and your daughter could wait at parent pick-up with her until it is time for the teacher to go, at which time the teacher would take her in to the office. That way she has a friend to wait with her, but it is the school dealing with the problem and not you.

You're right, this is not your problem. If you decide to stay with this girl, the parents will have no reason to be on time. This is a matter for the teachers (who may also see you with her) or the office.

In my opinion, I would get CPS involved or a cop involved. They smoke weed and forget about her. They seem neglectful. I would be scared something is going on behind closed doors.

And just because you stop staying with her doesn't mean her parents will show up on time. They probably get high and forget they have to pick her up or something. I understand people saying her parents should learn consequences of it, but what if that consequence was someone kidnapping and hurting this girl? My mom was almost kidnapped because her mom was FIVE minutes late (this guy was watching her and got out of his truck and started coming towards her when her mom pulled up). You need to talk to the school or talk to a cop. Just in my experience, I don't give a dern who you are if your neglecting your child or getting high while you have a child I'm going to get someone involved because children come first always. Good for you for waiting with her, but you need to get some authority involved. I am kind of confused why the school releases the girl to someone who isn't her parent.... doesn't that lead to abductions? (if it's not someone with good intentions you know).
I am paranoid as you can tell, but please get someone like a cop or cps involved to see if this issue digs deeper... a lot of times these things mean bigger things at home.

I would start walking over to the parent pick up with her. Just tell her you fell like waiting with everyone else just to do something different.

That way the teachers have a heads up as to what is going on.

I commend you for caring so much, but that is the school's responsibility. If the parents are not there by the time that you get there, then she should go to the school office and wait for the parents there. When the school sees that the parents are late all the time, they will talk to the parents and look into the situation. You are giving them an excuse to be late and they should be more responsible. Talk to the teacher and the teacher should wait or have the girl wait in parent pickup, then the school personnel will walk her to the office. If the parents or the girl ask, just say you are busy and you have to run.

As a teacher myself, you need to let the school know about this situation. It is the school's responsibility to take care of kids who are left on campus after school for whatever reason. The school is prepared to take care of situations like this and if something happened to her and they didn't know about it, it could be very bad for you and for the school (think big time lawsuits here). Please, please, please, make the school aware of this situation, for her sake and for yours. You can still feel bad for her and sympathize but it's not your responsibility but the school's to make sure she gets picked up, unless you are authorized by her parents to be a person who is in charge of her and make sure she gets home (which I'm betting you are not). By the way, you and the school can get into a lot of trouble for that as well. Please tell the school and take her to the proper waiting place, you can probably still go with her and wait with her, but also make the principal aware of this situation so they can take care of it properly.