What are your favorite parenting books? I have read "Siblings without Rivalry" and "How to Talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk". But I have been increasingly frustrated with my kids' behavior lately and am in need of a new tactic that will work for me. I know I yell at them a lot and I need to work on that, so any suggestions would be very helpful! Thanks!
Scream-free parenting, it's for adults :)
Re-read those books and apply them vigorously. I found that when my daughter would act up in a negative way it was because I started slacking on the methods.
Jim Fay's Love and Logic!! I have used it as a parent and teacher. I recommend all of his books and the workshops too. He is a wonderful speaker and they help you learn the techniques by role playing and such. The are solid strategies that kids can use all of their lives and helps you keep your sanity without having to resort to yelling over them. Good luck!
www.loveandlogic.com .They are also on facebook.
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I really love LOVE and LOGIC. If you just try a few of their techniques they really do work. They have books at the library, seminars, DVDs, etc. I went to a free seminar at a church near my house tonight and it was excellent.
My fave is Shepherding a Child's Heart. It teaches you to trace the behavior back to the heart.
There is a Psychologist named Dan Peterson out of Naperville. He specializes in helping Parents & Children. He holds Parent workshops too. My friend went to his workshop it was 4 hours long & only $79 a couple. She & her Husband said the workshop was great. She was able to give cenarios & ask questions about her own child. I believe he teaches from a book called The Nurtured Heart Approach. He also does one on one counseling & accepts insurance too.
I plan on taking the class as well.
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I also like Love and Logic. I find it fits well with the "How to Talk" books. Sometimes no matter what, kids are just trying and frustrating!
Save the money on another book and just stop yelling at them. They tune you out when you yell and it just brings you down to their level.
You have already read two really good books...just reread and apply.
Try some positive reinforcement with rewards. Do some team building type exercises like playing some games together as a family.
My kids had a doosey of a morning and then later in the afternoon they were all playing together and laughing. I really try to praise them up and down when they are being good. Sometimes when I see them being good I tell them, "It is time to celebrate....let's go have a treat! You guys deserve a sweet treat from all those sweet and nice things you are doing with eachother."
Good luck and best wishes. Kids are going to quarrel and argue. I don't think there is one book out there that will give you the magic phrase to stop all these normal childish behaviors. Keep cool and keep calm. Model how to act when you are frustrated and at your boiling point. Be creative and start up some positive reinforcement for good behavior.
Considering your children's ages, I'd say 1-2-3 Magic. Very simple. Sometimes I still do this with my difficult 9 year old and he stops and does what I say cause he knows he won't like what's coming next. I don't have to resort to it often but it's very effective. Good luck!
The best book I've read about parenting and behavior is Love and Logic!
One of my favorites is:
http://www.amazon.com/Making-Children-Without-Losing-Your...
However I think also consider the reasons behind the frustration. It's the end of summer, kids are bored, maybe you're stressed getting school supplies and new wardrobes ready. Give it a few weeks when everyone is settled in the new routine, maybe things will settle down. I agree finding a structured behavioral support system that you stick to is a must, and the beginning of a school year is a great time to do it. Just don't beat yourself up about needing a whole new technique, when it's just a time of transition you need to grow through.
Also this summer my DH and I have been trying "alone time" for our boys. During this time they don't have to share/fight. They each get to pick a toy and a play space (basement, playroom) and have uninterrupted time to spend. They always end up playing much better afterwards. In addition, my DH and I spend uninterrupted on-on-one time with each one once a month. So every other weekend they get to do something fun with either just mom or just dad. It has really helped our whole family bond.
I like all of the "Love and Logic" books..google it! good luck
I liked Harvey Karp's "Happiest Toddler on the Block".
