Hey moms,
I am really struggling with one family I have in my care. The mother is not responsive to anything I say, or she simply has an excuse for everything. She has a 12 month old and he is so far behind. I finally convinced dad to seek services for him. They had him evaluated and he is about 6 months behind. Now mom is wanting him to receive his services here, during the day, when I am with the other children. I explained to her that I can not take time away from the other children to sit with him and the specialist. Now they are wanting him to try and cach up, and mom is basically throwing it in my lap. I have tried telling her it is a team effort, but she just tells me do what I need to do here and she will do what she wants to do at home. I feel helpless. He is so far behind. He is not walking, hates playing outside, because I won't hold him; he just wants me to sit and hold him lately. I know mom does this a lot at home in the evening. I even have a hard time getting him to take his bottle, because I won't sit and hold him like mommy. I know I am rambling, but I have had it today. I don't know what to do. This little guy needs help, but it seems as though we take one step forwaard and two steps back. I feel like I am fighting an up hill battle with this mother. I can not help him here and then he goes home and she does nothing. Any advice would be great.
Thanks,
J..
I agree with everyone else - you can't take this on! However, I would hope that whatever agency evaluated him for services would be very persistent with the parents in getting a schedule set... and if the parents tell them contact you, you could then explain to the therapist or caseworker what the situation is. I think they would be more realistic about what's possible & appropriate than his parents!
I would flat out refuse. I'd just tell her that you're not equipt for that type of service, nor can you take time away from your other children to handle his special case. during your daycare hours. I would just say no, and if she still insists, ask her for the number of the specialist that will be assisting so you can discuss options with her yourself.
Hi J.
you may need to tell this family they need to find new daycare. If you are still willing to watch him I would try to do what you can to help him but nothing you wouldn't do if he did not have special needs. If is parents do not work with him and help him to cathch up they can be turned in for child negletic. I hope you find some answers.I will pray for you:) T.
You really need to say NO I can't take away from the other children. If she needs to she can pick him up take him to therapy or have someone she knows do this or She can go some place else. They can check with other services and daycare providers to find the right place for the their child.
I have two cousins who worked and made a schedule between the grandparents and themselves on what day who could take them to therapy.
I am lucky to be able to be at home so I have been taking my boy to speech for three years now.
I wonder why the dr's did not push for an evaluation. They should of notice if he was going. I would wonder to if he has been giving all his shoots?
As much as you want to help this child the parents need to step up. It takes more than just the therapy visit you have homework (you could call it) to do in order to help the child.
Best of luck
It's your responsibility to do daycare not rehabilitation or physical therapy. Just like it wouldn't be your responsibility to take one of your daycare children to a doctors appt.
Tell her by law you can't do it, your repsonsible for "X" amount of other children and you can't do that.
Can you get her some info on social services in your area that would help? Then just tell her you cannot care for him any longer. She won't change, and you can't save him. Your responsibility is to your own family, and you can't let her do what she's doing to them even by just stressing you out this way. Just say No.
You don't clearly explain how the mother is not responsive, but I think it pretty odd that parents who just discovered their child has a developmental problem are insisting on leaving their child in the hands of someone who isn't licensed to care for special needs children. Even if there will be a specialist. You don't have the facilities or licensing for this.
Something just isn't adding up here. There is probably more than meets the eye. For sure, I agree with you that she is not being very up front with you about what's at issue with her son. I think its pretty odd that this mother is so insistent that you help her son, even though she supposedly sought out a professional evaluation. If the evaluation did indeed show that the boy is significantly developmentally behind as you describe, why didn't these same people suggest what the next course of action be? Wouldn't it be fair to guess that the people they went to for this evaluation would also suggest where this family should or could go to get further intervention and/or therapy? Considering the child is 6 months behind, wouldn't they have suggested a program that would address the needs of this child? Or is this delay something he'll grow out of and she's just trying to manipulate the situation to her benefit?
I do agree with others posts. If this child really does have special neeeds and you are not equipped or licensed to deal with that, then the obviously solution would be for you to tell them they need to seek appropriate daycare. Perhaps you could help them by tapping into some of your contacts and resources and pehaps put them in touch with a program or someone who specializes in special needs children.
If possible I would contact those who gave the diognosis or child services and let them know that the parents are not providing for the childs needs.
They need to research whether he is behind because of his own make up or because "failure to thrive" due to his home environment.
This is a case for professionals in child services both with investigation and with "treatment".
Ive been teaching an autistic boy at church for the past 3 yrs.
Good Luck, I know how hard it is to see young ones get the short end of the stick.
