Parent Abused by 17 Yr Old Son

Please don't be afraid to call the police if you are in fear of him. They have knowledge of programs and what type of help he may need. I am sorry that you are going through this.

Go to http://www.empoweringparents.com/category-Abusive-And-Vio...
It's ok to call the police. There's a lot of good advice at empoweringparents.com

He needs more than just a psychiatrist, you need a program for him that has a combination of a least a psychiatrist and a counseling and if possible case management too. If he is dealing with OCD and Bipolar then these are usually chronic problems and he needs to have supports in place for when he turns 18 and you are no longer making decisions on his behalf. If he is really out of control and violent then you can call 911 for police assistance (they can get him taken to a hospital for a 3 day hold but only if he is violent or otherwise showing clear signs of mental illness). In that case he may be in an acute psychiatric unit for a short while and they can assess his behavior, medications, what services are needed, etc. You can also try calling your state's child protective services and they will at least know what you need to do to find appropriate services. I was a case manager in NJ and we saw all types of behavior and mental health issues in children and teens. We knew the services in the community and could also provide some kinds of services through our agency as well. Good luck with your son and don't be afraid to get family counseling or counseling for yourself if need the support. It can be very stressful to deal with and/or care for a mentally ill family member.

I think if he is out of control and you are in fear of physical harm, you should call 9-1-1.
Do you think there are drugs involved? Does he take his medication regularly?
It also sounds like he might need a new therapist.
Good luck & God Bless.

I strongly suggest you invest some time and energy exploring a process called Non-Violent Communication. You can google this term for websites that will offer books and classes, and give explanations of the process. It's a wonderful tool to use in difficult relationships, even if only one person uses it.

Non-Violent Communication teaches you how to talk to your son compassionately and respectfully. In the sort of relationship you are describing, that probably isn't happening much. Using this process, you can help him identify and understand his own needs, some of which are apparently going unmet. You can learn how to make clear and unbiased observations that will support, rather than undermine, further communication. At the same time, you learn how you can state YOUR needs gently and clearly, so that the other person can hear them without feeling attacked or overwhelmed.

Non-Violent Communication is a win-win process. My husband and I have both learned to use it, and it's remarkably effective in a number of relationships with difficult family members, and in occasional disagreements or conflicts outside the family, as well. It does take some work and study, but it sounds like you have little to lose, and a lot to gain. My best to you.

First - he needs a new psychiatrist.
Second - he has no right to treat you that way. You need to set rules and consequences.
If he yells at you, walk away. If he screams at you because you say no - do NOT give in. (I have to wonder if you gave in when he was little...) If you get worried that he will hurt you, call 911. Let them help you. They know of programs and places for him and you to get help.
Contact the school and his guidance counselor. Let them help you.
Being sad isn't going to help anyone. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get yourself some help.
LBC

I didn't read through the other posts, but I am a mother of 2 like your son. they have moved out now & are 20yrs old. I have a hard time with them even today. If you can get him into a program something like Teen Challenge this is the first way I would go. I found out about it to late. It is Christian based. It is a year & a half program. They are a drug free program as well. Which seems to me would be ok because your sons meds are helping him anyway. The program teaches him self control, self discipline & self respect as well as many other things. I went through this for years 7 hated it. I don't get along well with either son, but one is better than the other & we can tolerate each other little bits at a time. THe other one we can barely talk on the phone. You have tried for 17yrs to get this child help right? Well if you are asking here today for help yet again then what else have you got to lose? When he turns 18 he has the choose to go, right now to can make him go, but the program does want the child to really make the choose. Talk to your son & tell him this is the only way to go, if he doesn't want to go tell him you will get him into a mental hospital then instead. Tuff Love. Be tuff now or you may lose your son forever. Hugs from a mom that has been through it & still going through it.

He needs a new therapist! He may also need to go to a treatment facility for a period of time. Try and get him all of the help you can while he is 17, because once he turns 18 there is no turning back! Good luck! :)

Go to www.empoweringparents.com for tons of excellent resources and help for dealing with out of control children. The info on the website is free. They have a program called The Total Transformation that is available for sale that gives you techniquest for dealing with such a situation. However, there are so many good articles and information on the site for free that you will get a good idea of how to handle just about any situation you can imagine. Consider it a life rope! With the program, you can have access to a toll free number that you can call to talk with a trained counselor when you are in the midst of a situation or if you just need a sounding board. I found it to be well worth the investment when we were dealing with our two older adopted sons who had serious issues. And, I also appreciated that I didn't have to burden my friends and family who often didn't understand or have the solutions I needed to deal with the issues. I wish you well.

Maybe this will be of some help to you..
http://parentingmethods.suite101.com/article.cfm/parent_a...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, and I hope and pray it will get better for you.

Hi, I know of so many who had normal life after getting on nutritional supplements. I will be happy to connect you with other moms who had great result. Let me know.

I pray he will get effective help for his issues.

Love and Blessings!
A.

I don't have any advice. Looks like you"ve gotten lots of good advice from all of the Mommas.
I just want you to hang in there, get some help for both of you, turn it over to God and BE STRONG!
I know it's hard to like you Son right now even though you love him so much.
You and your family will be in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to that will just listen, let know. Anytime... Remember you have friends out there.
Once he has gotten help, Life will be good again.
No person can curse what GOD has blessed.

God bless you and your family...

###-###-#### national association for mentally ill. They have a group for the bi polar and a family group at the same time. Also the bi polar Hotline 18662608000. My husband is bi polar. These are resources I just found. The Hotline has mobile therapists.

You are me a year ago. First, you cannot legally boot him out until he is 18 as you are legally responsible for him and everything he does until then. Second there are places that can help - try Salvation Army Casa by Bachman Lake (they also have a nice facility/shelter where he can stay)....and they have counseling for you both for free....you can get a mental health warrant if he is not taking his meds or is a danger to you or himself but they are difficult to get and the hospital they take him to is not always any good....what about school? how is he doing there? I have no answers as I had to get my son out of my house when he turned 18 but I do know of alot of places that might help you....

I would advise putting him out for your own safety. But if he is on meds there is clearly a problem. You have to care enough to at least put him somewhere else for help/treatment and keep yourself safe. If he threatens you and you do nothing he will continue to disrespect you.
My brother is bipolar and did those things to my mom off and on. He wasn't diagnosed til he really went off and was about 20 years old. I'm not jus talking, you see.
Take care of yourself and respect yourself enough to not put up with your childs disrespect, even in illness.

My heart goes out to you. We went through a similar situation when my son was 17. There is a great book called Boundaries with Your Adult Children by Allison Botchke (may be spelled wrong). It really helped me gain perspective that was helpful. If your son chooses behaviors that wind him up on the street, it may be the best thing that happens to him. They have to learn that there are consequences to their behavior. The world will not negotiate on that. Stand firm so he learns this sooner rather than later. You are not bound to your current psychiatrist. If he/she isn't providing the feedback and support you need, find a new one. They are service providers just like everyone else. I'd encourage you to join a support group as well. It's helpful to talk to other parents who are dealing with the same thing and some who are further down the road. You'll discover you are not alone. There are others who have come through this and give you helpful ideas and support.

My goodness! I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It must be very hard and very upsetting too because that's your baby. I'm a young mom of a 3 yr old son & know that this would hurt me so much. I'm also sorry for the horrible things some of the responders have said to you. Tough love is one thing but some of these responses were just plain mean. People don't understand when they aren't going through it. I like the idea of switching therapists & also the Christian program (Teen Challenge) that deals with this as one person mentioned. God is able to heal your relationship with your son & change his heart & his mind. Prayer changes things. I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but the Bible teaches that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. I'm praying for your situation. Just keep the Faith & know that this too shall pass. My sister's ex was bi-polar and his temper flared big time. Also a friend of mine was VERY bi-polar and it was a true challenge to our friendship because she would change in an instant. So I do know a little of what it must be like for you. Your in my thoughts and prayers. =)