I feel as if my four year old could be having panic attacks or anxiety attacks because if something upsets her or if she gets even just a little bit hurt she cries so hard she cannot breathe. For example, she was playing around doing spins and twirls and all of a sudden she lost her balance and fell and hit her knee on the tile floor. I expected her to say "Ouch!" or something and cry because I knew it probably hurt however she started crying so hard she couldn't catch a breath. I felt as if I needed to sit down on the floor with her so I did to calm her down. I looked her in the eyes to tell her to take deep breaths and everything is fine, she had only just hit her knee. She was able to calm down after about 5 minutes and then I was trying to wipe her tears and snot away with a tissue and she began flailing her body, screaming, rolling around on the floor and she hit the floor a few times. We sat on the floor together and she ended up calming down on her own. It was about an hour past her usual nap time however she has missed naps before and was fine. She has done this many times before, everything will be fine and then all of a sudden she will throw herself on the ground and flail her body around.
My question is can 4 year olds suffer from panic attacks or anxiety? Is that even what my child could be going through? Are these "episodes" or "attacks" or whatever they are just a result of being tired? Could it be a reaction to extra sugar, chemicals in food, or unnatural food dyes (I know Red 40 is linked to behavioral problems in children)? And finally how can I help my child?
I am asking because I really am concerned for her mental health because her birth mother suffered and still does to my knowledge from panic attacks and anxiety. Is that something that is passed down?
Yes but this does not sound like a panic attack to me.
I know some kids who are incredible smart but do not process pain typically and have complete melt downs. Could be she has a hard time processing it or is very sensitive or it could be all behavioral.
For what it's worth - I do not give my kids attention when they are having melt downs or tantrums - even my special needs kids. They must go to their room to have a tantrum or meltdown.
Of course kids can have anxiety attacks or panic attacks. I'm not an expert, but this doesn't sound like one. It sounds more like she's tired and /or wants attention.
Wow, she gets LOTS of attention for this. She's never going to stop as long as you help her continue making a big deal out of it.
Know how I stopped this in one of my visiting grand kids? I looked over across the room and saw no blood or gashes. I looked the kiddo and said you are okay. Then I turned around and went into another room.
She'll only cry so hard and if she can't breathe she'll pass out and start breathing on her own. I wouldn't leave her unsupervised like go outside while this is happening but in another room where I could listen closely to her.
You are encouraging her to do this. Giving her attention, sitting with her trying to manage her temper tantrum...you need to stop.
If you know she is not seriously injured then just look at her next time and tell her she is fine and to take a deep breath. You gave her an awful lot of attention for acting like this. That probably, in her mind, just reinforced this behavior.
Enroll her in drama school. She will probably be awesome, as are my girls😉
If there's no blood or broken bones, hand her an ice cube in a wash cloth, let her rub her boo boo till she feels better and let her go back to playing.
I use to live in fear when our son was learning to walk - his legs were all bruised up - you'd think the kid was being abused.
He'd walk, run, hit a wall, bounce off and fall down, then laugh and do it again.
Let her cry and flail.
You're paying too much attention to the drama and it builds in a feedback loop - the more attention you pay it, the more dramatic it gets and the longer it goes on.
When we were growing up we had all sorts of scraped knees and elbows.
We'd run home, pick the gravel out (usually after falling off a bike), wash it up, Mom put on the Bactine, bandage it up - and we'd be right back outside in 5 to 10 minutes.
The fact that her flailing actions (with screaming and rolling around) occurred 5 minutes after the initial injury tells me that she's likely overreacting for the attention. I think she's probably a very sensitive child but I also think she's getting too much attention from you. She's got to learn to self-soothe here, and how to pick up and move on.
Yes, kids can have panic attacks and anxiety, but I think they are usually before the stressful situation, not afterwards. I'd put one of those ice packs in the freezer and tell her to get it herself, or send her to her room for a few minutes to calm herself down. Tell her you'll be happy to see her when she feels better.
Obviously, if there's blood involved or a serious sprain, then you attend to her. Even so, a bandaid is often enough.
Sometimes a fall really does hurt, even if it isn't serious. So it's possible it really did hurt. Also, yes, missing a nap can cause a serious meltdown over something small. So either or both of those could have been the problem.
Honestly, this is not uncommon behavior for a 4 year old, especially a "no nap" 4 year old who's used to napping.
I agree that saying, "Oh no! You bumped your knee! That must really hurt," is a great first step. Her knee did hurt, and when you say that, she knows you feel her pain and understand. Now she'll be able to accept it when you say, "Just give it a minute. You're going to be just fine," because she will be just fine. The pain won't last, and it's good to remind her that in a minute she really will be just fine.
It's not always easy to be the calm, tough mommy. But that's what she really needs, and that's what's going to serve her best in the long run.
Try mirroring her. "Ouch, it really hurts when you hit your knee." Say this before you begin telling her she will be okay. Keep your words of reassurance short and sweet. Like three sentences. Then just give her some hugs and kisses, but don't overdo it. Then let her take her time to cry or regroup if she needs to.
This doesn't sound like anxiety or a panic attack.
My daughter does suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. She is 15, however, and they didn't start this young. What we have been told is that if she passes out, it's like the body hits a "restart" button. Not really dangerous, but very scary to watch. One thing you can do if she is having trouble breathing, is give her a paper lunch sack to put around her mouth and breath in and out of. Encourage slow deep breaths if she will cooperate. That, and yes what the others said about not too much attention too. Model calm and even tones. Talk to her about what she is feeling, "anger, frustration, disappointment, etc" Help her to name and identify her feelings rather than tell her "stop it" "it's fine" or "you are OK" She is sensitive, her feelings are valid. Validating feelings is key to emotionally wired kids.
I completely agree with Marda. "Too much" worry or attention during a child's meltdown can easily reinforce that the child might be seriously hurt, or could encourage some children to begin seeking attention this way.
Her reaction sounds pretty common to me, especially in a child who is tired or hungry. I doubt that this is panic you're describing (though you might be feeling a touch of that while she's flailing). It could be simply disappointment, frustration and/or rage that she fell, maybe even a touch of embarrassment – she wanted to be graceful like a ballerina, and fell like a clown. That might feel pretty "unfair" to her and children can be sticklers for fairness.
But kids can experience anxiety and panic attacks, and a tendency is more than likely inherited. We've got more than our share in my extended family. As a starting point, I'd have a chat with her pediatrician about behavior that concerns you.
The best teacher for this will also cause her some pain (emotional). When her peers notice her reactions, they will shy away and point fingers.
That will hurt you both.
Start now by giving less attention to her when she has a tantrum. Go in the other room and busy yourself. Yes, she will cry louder and you will feel terrible, but you are doing her a better service than her peers will.
Good luck
I agree. This is not a panic attack. Crying so hard to gasp is not serious. Be sympathetic and let her know she's ok. When you go to her side and continue to pay attention she feels like this is serious or mom wouldn't rush to console me.
I've seen too many kids to count cry like this. I suggest crying hard is usually more of a physiological reaction than an emotional. I suggest her initial reaction is spontaneous because it hurt and startled her. Yes, perhaps, had a flash of fear. Her gasp scared you and her continued crying was probably a reaction to your concern.
yes mental illness is often heritable. but you are an example to her and can demonstrate good behavior.. I would not give extra attention to these episodes or they might continue just for the extra attention.
some times.. kids go through times when they need extra sleep.. or an earlier nap.. some kids always fall apart if they are a bit overtired.. you many have to be extra cautious about her getting proper rest and a balanced diet.. with meals served on time..
