Pacifier Dependence

Updated on June 03, 2010
A.L. asks from Placentia, CA
14 answers

I have a 2 month old who loves her pacifier. It wasn't a problem until a few days ago. Now if she falls asleep with it in she'll wake up and cry once it falls out. I have to constantly run and put it back in her mouth. Any suggestions as to what i should do? I don't want to take it away and try another method such as rocking her to sleep. I got caught in that trap with my first child and had to rock her till she was 2. I'm worried I'm going to have the same kind of dependence problem but with a paci. I just want her to know how to fall asleep and self soothe on her own. I thought about taking away the pacifier but then it's SO difficult to get her to sleep. Should i let her cry it out this young? Help!!!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

At 2 months, I think it's ok to use the pacifier. She's still so young. I wouldn't let her cry it out at this point. I have a 4 month old daughter who also could not fall asleep without it. I had the same concern you have. But she's already getting better. I still use it to help her settle down for sleep but I also put on white noise (rain sounds or hair dryer) which also helps calm her. Once she's settled down but not fully asleep, I pull the pacifier out of her mouth. If she fusses, I give it back to her until she is nearly asleep and I can pull it out. The rain sounds help soothe her into a deeper sleep. I let that play for about 20 minutes and she's usually out like a light at that point.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I think you are just going to have to suck it up (no pun intended) at this point unless you want to take it away from her. Until she's old enough to find it and pop it back in (my 9 month old just started doing this) you are the one who will have to find it for her. Maybe give her a few minutes to see if she'll calm down and fall back asleep without it, but you will have to find it if she won't calm down. Also be sure to have a few extra on hand right by her crib so you aren't searching for one in the dark when she does wake up!

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

There's a product online called a "binky buddy" - PLEASE NOTE - there is one that is very scary looking that looks like a child has been tied down...this is NOT that one.

I just looked it up and they have changed their name to "pacifier buddy", so check out www.pacifier.com. The paci attaches to this little soft cushiony thing that is about 2" wide and 5" long. You swaddle this in with the baby. It also works great in the carseat. My daughter loved using this, and the "buddy" was like a little lovey to her...until she discovered her thumb at 10 months. ;) Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think she is still too young. But, when it is approaching 3-4 months old, you can try to start a little training, like, let her use the paci to fall asleep, but, when she is about to fall asleep, take the paci out, she may cry many times, but, upon this training for few days, she will be fine. She is very young to adapt anything new. It worked with my first son, and rocking too. When he was almost 5 months old, I rocked him to sleep but, when he was about to sleep, I put him down. The training needs at least few days and you will have to run back and forth to conform the baby, or you may still need to take him back up and rock a little. But, again, when the baby is about to sleep, take the paci or put the baby down.

Hope it helps.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I agree with several other posters that this happens. You might also try another brand of paci. My son was having this problem with one brand, so we switched to a lighter-weight brand and that really helped. Sometime my mother suggested was once my son fell asleep, to actually take the paci away so that he wouldn't feel the sensation of the paci falling out. This sometimes worked. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

When she gets older and has motor skills and coordination, she will then be able to put it back in her mouth. Or you put several in her crib... so that they can 'find' one and then put it back in their mouth themselves.
But she cannot do that yet. She is so young.
Yes, that happens for now.
Or you just take it away.... and hopefully she will in time, fall asleep anyway. But in the meantime, yes, you have to go back and forth to put it back in their mouth. A baby this age doesn't even 'know' to hold it with their hands yet.
Some babies are just more oral and the paci self-soothes them. Babies even suck their fingers in-utero. Its just an instinct.

My son loved his binky too.

all the best,
Susan

K.R.

answers from Sherman on

my 3 month old also would wake up if put to bed with paci.
i now often hold her to put her to sleep, when the paci falls on its own and she doesnt wake up, i put her into her crib with out it.

Updated

my 3 month old also would wake up if put to bed with paci.
i now often hold her to put her to sleep, when the paci falls on its own and she doesnt wake up, i put her into her crib with out it.

Updated

my 3 month old also would wake up if put to bed with paci.
i now often hold her to put her to sleep, when the paci falls on its own and she doesnt wake up, i put her into her crib with out it.

Updated

my 3 month old also would wake up if put to bed with paci.
i now often hold her to put her to sleep, when the paci falls on its own and she doesnt wake up, i put her into her crib with out it.

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L.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had this same problem with my daughter, who is now 3 and (yes, don't judge!) still has a paci to sleep. At that young age she couldn't figure out how to keep it in her mouth while sleeping and we ended up constantly putting it back for her. I figure out after a little bit that if I just took the paci out myself once she was sound asleep, she didn't wake up startled when it fell out on it's own. It didn't work forever but it got us closer to the point where she could hold it in there with her hand. Since you can't do anything to keep it in there safely it's just one of those phases that has to pass unless you want to try to wean her. Don't worry though, if you can't bring yourself to get rid of paci the phase will pass soon. Hang in there. : )

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

There's a short period of time where you need to do this. Before you know it, she'll be rolling over easily and find one of the many pacifiers in her crib and promptly insert one into her mouth. It was a life saver for both my older children, and us, who loved it as babies and into toddlerhood. Getting them to give it up in their toddler years was tough, but that's another story. My doctor says babies totally need to suck and it' natural that a pacificer soothes her. I wouldn't fear the dependence. It's worth it while they're young and as babies, they need it.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Take it away, feed just before you put her down, rock a little more, wrap her securely...how many children who are two or three do you see walking around with their pacifier in the mouth...(not to mention some half-grown/half brained young adults who think its COOL to be sucking on a paciifier). Not a good for their gum/teeth formation....not a good dependency.

Blessings....

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K.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

What's wrong with rocking until 2? I miss my time rocking my baby girl (who is almost 3).

B.A.

answers from Saginaw on

Its up to you. My oldest daughter was just like this, we put it back in her mouth. She did this until she was old enough to do this on her own, when that happened I would throw extra's in the crib. My youngest never woke for it after it fell out. In my case, I'm glad I stuck with it, because I think a paci sure does help when cutting teeth.
You can either keep putting it back in until she does it on her own, or just work with putting her to sleep without it. Either way you will probably lose sleep right? Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would stay in the routine of letting her fall asleep with the pacifier that she likes. Maybe try the first few min`s (10-15) in the rocking chair with her along with some calming quiet songs or noises. Once she falls asleep, just make sure that she has fallen into a deep sleep. Before you put her into her crib or once she`s in the crib.. gently try to take her soother out.. if you feel like she doesn`t want to give it up and she`s still sucking quite hard on it leave it alone. but if she will let you take it out, then give it a try. You may find that she`s so relaxed because of the music etc that the last thing on her mind is her soother. This is what my husband and i have been doing with our little one who is 4 months and for us it works..keep in mind that every baby is different so what works for one, might not work for another baby .. you just gotta keep trying different things until you find something that works for all of you! =)

Updated

I would stay in the routine of letting her fall asleep with the pacifier that she likes. Maybe try the first few min`s (10-15) in the rocking chair with her along with some calming quiet songs or noises. Once she falls asleep, just make sure that she has fallen into a deep sleep. Before you put her into her crib or once she`s in the crib.. gently try to take her soother out.. if you feel like she doesn`t want to give it up and she`s still sucking quite hard on it leave it alone. but if she will let you take it out, then give it a try. You may find that she`s so relaxed because of the music etc that the last thing on her mind is her soother. This is what my husband and i have been doing with our little one who is 4 months and for us it works..keep in mind that every baby is different so what works for one, might not work for another baby .. you just gotta keep trying different things until you find something that works for all of you! =)

Updated

I would stay in the routine of letting her fall asleep with the pacifier that she likes. Maybe try the first few min`s (10-15) in the rocking chair with her along with some calming quiet songs or noises. Once she falls asleep, just make sure that she has fallen into a deep sleep. Before you put her into her crib or once she`s in the crib.. gently try to take her soother out.. if you feel like she doesn`t want to give it up and she`s still sucking quite hard on it leave it alone. but if she will let you take it out, then give it a try. You may find that she`s so relaxed because of the music etc that the last thing on her mind is her soother. This is what my husband and i have been doing with our little one who is 4 months and for us it works..keep in mind that every baby is different so what works for one, might not work for another baby .. you just gotta keep trying different things until you find something that works for all of you! =)

Updated

I dont think there`s anything wrong with letting her use her pacifier (she is just a baby and that`s her way of soothing herself).. the best thing to do is stay consistent!! If you try to take the soother away it will give he mixed messages.
Here is a few other things along with using the soother i would try:
I know you said that with your first child you rocked him or her too often but try rocking you little one for a much shorter period of time. Give or take about 10-15 min`s along with some sound therapy or lulleby.
Or try giving her a bath before she goes down for the night. If that`s what she`s used to (maybe she gets a bath during the day) every baby reacts differently.
When she`s in her crib and still wants to suck on her soother, the best thing to do is just leave her be. Although if she is willing to spit the soother she will on her own terms. You may find that when you put her into her crib and she`s in a deep sleep, that the soother might be the last thing she worries about. You just gotta do what`s best for all of you! I wouldn`t stress though.. some day when she`s older (2-3yrs) she will just give it up.
Hope all of this helps, it works for out 4 month old.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

She's developing trust vs mistrust at this stage of development. Just work through this until she can keep it in herself. I also like what the poster said about putting her down after she is asleep without it.

I miss rocking the kids to sleep, it was such a peaceful special time. I occasionally get to rock one of them to sleep but the routine of it is long gone.

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