Paci Dilemma

S.:
I would wait until she gets over the croup. My son was 3 years old when we were finally able to get him off his pacifier.
P. S

Hey S.
I am a mother of 2 kids a boy 4 1/2 and girl 3(next month) - we went thru the same thing. Only my daughter did not hage croup. SHe just happened to get a cold when we were taking her paci away at 23 months. I wanted to take it away before her 2nd b-day...but low and behold she happened to get sick the week I was trying to take it away from her. So her birthday is in October. We decided to wait until December at Christmas time and we were planning to give it to Santa at the mall...but she was terrified to go and see santa...so instead...we told her that we would leave it out for Santa on the fireplace with some milk and cookies. Santa would see the milk and cookies and he would also see her paci and he would know to deliver it that night to a little bitty baby who needed one. And Santa would bring her lots and lots of toys and put them under the tree for her while she was sleeping - since she was such a big girl now and not sleeping with her paci.

With my son...it was different - we were able to take it gradually at his nap time and when he no longer needed it at nap time. We took it from him at bedtime. It is much easier taking things from boys (for some reason) than girls. Girls are so much more sensitive than boys. Hope you find something that works great for you. Good luck.

K. , 28
Stay at home mom of 2 - with in home daycare.

You've got to love those Paci's!! I would highly recommend letting her have the paci while she is sick. The croup is a difficult thing to deal with. I have heard of people cutting the paci a little each day. If you're really ready and since she did so well at first maybe you could just give it a few weeks and try again. Maybe she will have forgotten the whole episode from this time.

IMO, taking something away quickly she is attached to can be traumatic. I'd stick with starting with rules. Paci stays on the bed. If you want it, you must sit on the bed. Then only when sleeping, and let her wean herself from it. It is probably confusing to her why you are taking it away, you are the one who has always given it to her. I am a firm believer in SLOW SLOW transisitioning for children. As adults I don't think we understand how much we teach children something, only to make them unlearn it as toddlers.

She will be fine to have that paci until she is a bit older. There is no magical age for anything, just our own expectations of ourselves and our children according to friends and family. It's not the sucking itself that causes teeth to end up protruding; it's the way it's sucked. I learned that from my daughter's orthodontist. She sucked her thumb and nothing we did seemed to stop it until she was nearly four years old. The dentist/orthodontist told me then that the desire to suck on a paci or a thumb is not harmful, and protruding teeth has more to do with tongue thrusting than with sucking. If the child is a tongue thruster (pushing with her tongue against the back of her front teeth whenever she swallows), the child will have trouble with her teeth and using a paci has little to nothing to do with it. The paci is merely a comfort and should not be ripped away from the child merely for the sake of how it looks to others. My niece used a paci til she was four years old and had no teeth problems from it whatsoever, gave it up on her own and now is a well-adjusted, happy adult. If you do throw it out anyway now, replace it with something else to comfort her, a blankie or stuffed animal. Fill the comfort void, in other words. But I see no reason to take it away from her just yet. She's obviously not ready to give it up. No harm in that. Save your tough love for more important issues that, I promise you, will arise over the course of the next many years.

I'd let her keep it, at least for a few more months, or you will look very inconsistent. You will lose credibility if you take it away and then give it back and then take it away soon after.

I have fraternal twins and I tried to take their pappy away from them when they were 12 months old, but had to renig on that decision since at the same time I was weening them from a bottle to sippy cups. At 18 months old I tried again but this time through another suggestion was taking ALL the passy's and throwing them away except for one. (I actually kept two for each child so a total of 4) but every week you take a pair of scissors and clip just a little from the tip till there is basically nothing left which usually it doesn't even get to that point because most kids don't want to have anything to do with it once it's been sliced and diced on. I think I had to cut them like twice. Both of my twins would take them and put them in their mouth and take it back out and inspect it. Then it would get thrown down on the floor. Eventually it got to the point where they paid no attention to it whatsoever and I could throw every single one left in my house. It worked like a charm for me, but your child maybe different. I have heard of this technique several times since my twins were born and everyone seems to have been sucessful. Hey! it's worth a try it won't hurt her any! Best of Luck! God Bless!

Washing with a little antibacterial soap and hot water should be enough. My son took his (paaPaa) until he was 3 years old. His teeth are fine and generally the only people it bothered was old poots. I hated people jerking it out of his mouth. SO, He on his own, decided to carry extras. At the age of three he was really into GI Joes and wanted a helicopter for them. We slipped the helper at the mall a note explainning our situation.
Imagine our little ones suprise when Santa said" Leave me all your paci's and I will leave you a GI Joe helicopter".
He placed all of them under the tree and that was the end of that. Good Luck.

I would just let her have it; she will eventually give it up, and the cost is worth the benefit of her comfort, right? Good luck!

Just wait a bit. I don't think an illness is any time to try something new, especially if no one is getting any sleep! I personally don't see the big deal with any of the things toddlers cling to--the big deal is made by other people who make you feel guilty for letting your baby have what makes them happy. We lost the binkys at 6 months, but my daughter wouldn't give up her bottles until almost 2. She did both on her own. As long as your little one isn't walking around all day with a pacifier in her mouth, I see no harm in waiting a bit. You'll know when she's ready. I've heard a great suggestion for getting rid of them though (actually on here)--cut away teeny tiny pieces of the paci gradually so it eventually loses suction--kids will give it up on their own if it's "broken". Good luck--I hope your girl feels better soon!

I agree with the other ladies , taking away the paci while she was sick was a bad idea. She uses it for comfort so its like taking a teddy bear or blankie away while she is sick. Take it away in a few months and you may not have to actually take it away, try cutting the tips off of all of them and the nipples will collapse when she tries to suck on them, she may just throw them out her self, I did this with my son, cutting them off a little at a time, and one day I noticed he wasnt useing them when he went to sleep just holding it and I got rid of them then.

Hi S.,

First of all, I don't think you are bad for taking it while she was sick. We all learn as we go, and your thought was logical.

Second of all, if you have seen the Super Nanny show, you know that the Paci Fairy thing works every time...especially with little girls. I say, wait a month, and start talking about the paci fairy and how she need some pacifiers for the babies. Maybe take her somewhere and show her babies and talk about how the paci fairy brings all the babies pacifiers. (I am not a fan of lies, but, taking a paci is a difficult task). Then the Super Nanny has the little ones leave all of their pacifiers on the porch in a bag before they go to bed one night. I would really play this up. Have her peek out a couple of times to look for the fairy etc. Then, when she falls asleep watching for the fairy, sneak out there and make the porch look like SUPER FAIRYLICIOUS! Put glitter and balloons and all kinds of fairy stuff (I have two boys, so I am not good at the fairy stuff, but you get the picture). Leave her a fairy doll and a note thanking her for the pacifiers -- from the fairy of course. Then, I would have her take the fairy doll to bed instead of the paci as a reminder..."remember, we gave them away, but you can take your fairy doll to bed with you". TA--DA!

Hope it works!

I agree with some other posts - I would wait until she feels better and try again...

My now 2yo had a paci up until a few months ago and we were able to get rid of it by taking gradula steps (over about a month or so)...

We stopped giving it to him at nap time by allowing him to play until he tired and ready for a nap, then we would put him down without his paci and he wouldn't even notice most of the time because he was so tired(usually at 2-3pm).... he would sleep for a few hours, play again until bed time (8:30pm), and then we would let him have it for bed time - he would go all day without it... eventually he stopped even looking for it at bedtime so we did not offer it anymore (it was out of sight/out of mind for him). The one thing I had to be very careful of, was that he NEVER see one laying about the house otherwise we would divert right back to his wanting it....

Good Luck!!

I can only tell you what we did... My daughter had hers for naps and bedtime until she was about 3 years old. She just seemed in such a panic every time we broached the subject of doing away with it, that I'd put off dealing with it. Cutting it didn't work, by the way. One day we came back from a trip and I had trouble finding it... I told her we'd left it at the hotel. We had no others in the house, so short of going to the store (which is not an option that occured to her) there was no way to give in. She got upset for a minute but was really FINE. I think her knowing there was no way to make me cave, because I just didn't have one... made all the difference. I with I'd taken a firmer stand sooner! She asked about it a couple of nights, but that was it. I couldn't believe it!

I would wait until she is well, and just be done with it. Get rid of them all, no giving in. Everyone is different, but I just couldn't see my daughter voluntarily giving them away to the paci fairy or anything like that at the time.

Also a good idea to make sure she has some other kind of comfort object for bed, blankie or an animal perhaps? Or if she doesn't maybe she could pick something out in preparation for giving up her paci. Good luck!

Hi S.,

I would not worry about the paci unless she takes it all day. My son still had his paci at 2 1/2ish for nap and nighttime. It is not causing her any harm right now. I hd given my son a choice in June No more paci or No more diaper and he choose the paci and now we are working on potty training. He just turned three.
Relax and don't worry

She's sick. Don't take her comfort away from her now. You can wait a little longer. It won't hurt her. My paci baby is now 28 years old. She used her paci until she was 2-1/2.

I hate to be the one to say this but when my daughter was younger I just threw them all in the trash. She learned to get over it. Yes she cried. I told her they were broken and couldn't be fixed. Sounds like you want her to have it. It's called tough love. She won't remember it in a few months that she even used it. Sorry to sound so harsh. You control the paci not her. You will also save her teeth by throwing them away. Again sorry for sounding harsh but that's what it takes some times to be a mom. I would also like to add that if you give in now you will give in time and again. She will know that with a little crying, you will give it back which means she runs your house and you do not. I understand she is sick but that is no reason to give in. Sorry again

HI S.,
My son is also 21 months, and still has his paci- my other 2 boys never took one so this is new for me- BUT I would say NOT to take it away from her while she is sick - she needs comfort right now and that obviously gives her comfort- also- when you do take it away- THats IT - don't have them around, don't let her see one again - or you'll never get it done. Friends of mine suggested when you are ready to take it away- cut in in half first, then a little more the next night and a little more the next till it's gone- they don't get the same satisfaction from it . Most of the people I know waited until thier kids were 2 or 2 1/2 to to take it away completely. Also- only have it at sleeping times- my sons paci's stay in his bed until he's ready to sleep. I hope she gets better soon- I know how hard it is to have a sick little one- try saline in her nose and liquid elderberry ( I use Sambucol -found at whole foods or health food stores) also try Vicks or the baby safe type (little colds maybe?) baby rub- put it on her chest and wipe some on the bottom of her foot before she goes to sleep- this helps them to breathe a little better.
Good LUck!
Nikki

my thought is that we as parents get these poor little ones hooked on the paci's to comfort them at birth and then want to yank it away. it is a tramatic thing for them. My almost 2 year old still has her's but only at nap and night time. it stays in her bed and she knows that is the only time she can have it. i plan on waiting until she's a bit older and can understand and is willing to give it up. i know she won't have it until she's 5 so i don't stress. she went from having it whenever she wanted to only nap and night time. that was also a slow transition but gradually we got there. if it makes your daughter feel better while she's not well to have it then i wouldn't deny her of it. hang in there i know it's difficult when they are stuffy.

I would never take a comfort item away from a sick child! Let her keep the pacifier for sleep if she likes it. It's not hurting anyone or anything, so I would wait until she's well and hasn't had any type of new situation or trauma recently before getting rid of the pacifier. My pediatrician said it's not a big deal before 3 anyway. I have a 2 year old son who is getting a new brother in a month, and I am not even approaching taking paci until after Christmas/first of the year. He only gets it for sleep and in the car.

I agree with the go with the flow suggestion-especially when she is sick. It will happen in time. I think we put WAY too much emphasis on time frames these days(no bottle after 12 months, no paci after 12 months, no diapers, ect.). When I was a kid, we were all walking around with bottles until we were 2 or 3 and my brother wasn't potty trained until 3 1/2 and guess what-we are all fine! If she were 14 and wanted a paci and to still sleep in your bed, that would be another story. Don't stress and just do whatever you can to help her feel better right now.
Good luck!

I had a hard time with my 11 year old and her paci, most people fussed about her still having it at age 4, but her doctor always told me not to worry she would but it down, when she was ready, sure enough, she brought it to me one day, after she had bit the nipple into, and told me she was throwing it away, i made sure she understood that there would be no more, she was ok with that, threw it in the trash and has never asked for it again...

My friend had to cut the ends on her boys' pacifiers to get them to give it up. Might help to clip it.

fortuantely I never had this problem because my daughter WOULD NOT take one and my son gave his up on his own before he was 1. I definitely wouldn't try to take it away while she is sick. As for how to get rid of it, I have heard a lot of people have success with the paci fairy. Gather all the pacis together for the fairy to give to the babies and she will leave a new toy in its place. If I had to take one away this is how I would do it.

every child is different, I don't know if doing it during an illness is a good idea only because she is overwhelmed trying to recover. I'd say so you gave in you both need sleep and both of you can handle this situation once she is feeling a bit better or recovered. Age is different for everyone too as when to take this step. I like what super nanny did on her show once for a 4 yr old to give up her paci...she took a jar and had the little girl gather up all the paci's then she told her a story about a fair that takes them to new babies so they will have one (the old hand it down theory) then she had the little girl go with her and put the paci's in an large envelope and into the mail box it went that night before bed. She of course took the envelope out and that morning the super nanny put feathers in and around the mailbox for the girl to find, mean while the super nanny also put a little bear in the mailbox for her to find with a note of thanks from the paci fairy I think she also put some of that confetti around too. It was really cute and the little girl thought she was helping some other babies giving her paci's to the paci fairy. Well, I bet if you wait a few months since a few months can make the world of difference in developmental learning and understanding then tell her a story the same of close and do something special for her to give them up....it can be a special achievement for her with her mom's help.

I did something close with my boys and it was really nice and all the while them being just a bit older by a few months. They could understand what we were doing and why and that it was helping someone else...they got something small as a thank you.

I wouldn't take anything away while a child is sick. I would just wait until she is better. (We took our daughter's paci away at 2yo.)