Over Scheduled- Husband Not Helping- How Do I Be in 3 Places at Once Every Satur

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I am a military spouse and this is how we do it.
"Hi how are you I am Margie, Oh you live by me, let's carpool."
You have to do what you have to do and when your hubby is not home for months at a time you use your girlfriends and girl aquaintances.
Just be sure to always return favors.
Women like to feel needed. Someone will help out.

Do you know a responsible teen in your area that you can pay to help out on Saturday mornings? If not then I say stick with local sports and try to car pool with parents you can trust. Soccer club is not a must but daddy getting much needed rest is. I know what others are saying that they are his kids too, but if he is tired and these activities are not a must then I could understand his exhaustion and wanting to sleep in. If he is not spending time with his children for the rest of the weekend then I say you have a problem. Sleeping late on Saturdays to catch up on sleep or not being involved with your children are two different issues. Only you know if that is an issue and needs to be addressed. Hiring a high school student is not that costly and can help you take the burden off.

Your husband's work schedule is demanding and only you know if the weekend job is necessary. I will assume that you need the money and that he really needs to work. And, therefore, I would honor his need to have one morning off a week. The best you can do is look out at the whole schedule for the spring and ask him to consider helping on the 2 or so Saturdays where the conflicts are more direct, and frame them as "your time with the kids."
Otherwise, I think you really have to ask for carpooling help. Or, discuss with your husband that you need to hire a sitter to help with Saturday morning driving and errands. If he's working so much, part of the cost of that is childcare, and in your case it's chauffering.
Finally, you asked for scheduling advice, but I am wondering when you guys get any good family time. Does he work sunday too?

You may have to bite the bullet and ask a team mates parents for help. Maybe offering gas money...? Most parents will totally sympathize with you and your scheduling dilemma. I would hope that your kid's team mates may live near you? I know it's hard to ask for help, but you may have to--to keep your sanity. I guess you don't have family that can help? I feel for you and
your gasoline bill.

J., life is what it is. We can make the best of it or we can be angry. Your husband is working how many hours/week? If my math is correct he's working 75 hours/5 day week and then he works on Saturday too. He's working as much as 2 people would work. I think it's unreasonable to expect him to be taxi on Sat morning. And if he enjoys the Sat job he deserves to have it.

I suspect that your problem is much more serious than getting help driving the kids to activities. Does he need to work all those hours, in order to support the family? Does he agree that the kids should be involved in these activities. Have the two of you sat down, discussed your goals for the family and made plans together? It sounds to me that the two of you are not working together to have the family that you want. If he has to work that many hours you may have to change your expectations for the family.

If your husband doesn't need to work that many hours, why is he doing it? Sounds like it's possible getting your marriage on track is more important than keeping your kids in activities. If he has to work all those hours then he deserves kudos for doing it and not criticism because he isn't able to provide the activities for the kids that you decided to put into activities.

I do think it's unreasonable to expect him to help you. Because he is working this many hours any activities at home have to be managed by you. You can ask for help from other moms whose children are also involved or from friends and family or you can stop some of the activities. I do not see how you can handle all of that and wonder how you'd handle it even with someone helping with the driving.

Both of my grandkids were in soccer last spring. Even with me helping my daughter and son-in-law with getting them there and back they decided to drop it this year. The kids didn't mind at all.

I think that we keep our kids too active sometimes and don't give them a chance to be kids with time to use their imaginations and to learn how to entertain themselves. It's very important for everyone to be comfortable with themselves. Kids need time to rest, to relax, to experiment with different activities that are not so structured. Because your children are young, all of them are involved in one way or another with the others' activities. Do they really want this?

Are you having any family time with the kids outside of these activities? When do they get their homework done? When do they have play dates or play casually with friends? When do you have time for yourself? Is your home calm and safe in it's feeling or is it more like chaos? Do your children feel secure or are they on the run trying to keep up.

There are alot more things more important than providing kids with structured activities.

As for asking to car pool with other parents. When is it OK to ask other mom's? As Margie M. said, you just start talking with the other Mom's. Talk with them long enough to get a sense about trusting them. Ask the coach about the mom you're considering asking. I, too, would not feel comfortable asking someone I didn't know. But you don't have much of a choice. If continuing the soccer is important, spend time getting to know someone. Ask about their driving record and insurance. Watch how they relate with their child and the other children. Ask the coach what he knows about the family. Call the Soccer Association and ask about her.

If it were me, I'd change the plan. Perhaps one kid could be in soccer this season, the other in a different sport during a different season. Does the 4yo LOVE ballet? I don't understand what you mean by be lost? If the recital is soon, I'd keep her in it but consider dropping that afterwards. Four is still young. She can take ballet when the older kids are older.

It is just a fact of life that we cannot do everything we'd like to do. It's important for your children to know that. And it's even more important for them to have parent's who get along and an organized, calm, and nurturing home life. I don't see how you can have that given the circumstances that you're in.

Perhaps you're trying to be super mom. In today's society we expect parents to drive kids all over for activities. It doesn't have to be that way. We can slow down and smell the roses. I suggest you'll even be happier if you can find a way out of this rat race. I wish you well, as you think about this and make a decision.

I'm sure your husband wants to sleep in, but do you get to? Bottom line, having kids especially now a days with all their activities usually takes more then one set of hands. If you dont know the other parents well enough to suggest car pool, what are you supposed to do? Is there someone in the family that could help out? But also dont be surprised at how other parents may be willing to help out. Offer a little gas money or to return the favor is possible. Or just tell your husband that sometimes, he's gonna have to help SORRY! You're only one person. And this stuff is important to your kids! Soon enough they'll be out on their own, and he'll have plenty of time to sleep in!

If you cannot put together carpools, I agree with hiring a college or high school student to take one or a couple of your children to their events and then have this person drop them off with you somewhere or have this person take them to your house and make lunch..

It is a shame your husband is missing out on watching his children play. It is his loss, but imagine how the kids would feel if they ever stopped to think about it?

This is the only time they will be this age..

You can't be in 3 places at the same time time. Can't say I'd push hubby in this since he does seem to be doing his part as far as providing for his family. I would recruit others to help. either grandparents, aunts etc. that could use this time for a little bonding with your kids & make it a special thing for them, beg other parents to feel for you & pitch hit & just hope they aren't wackos, or hire someone. Now I would probably keep the ballet since she's only going once a week & it is her only thing, but would your son or daughter be interested in doing something else? perhaps then the schedule could be less hectic. There is the option of letting coach know which kid won't make their game that Sat. & then next sat. have the other kid miss. best of luck...

You don't mention any other family. Is this an option? I work night shift and often have rely on others if my schedule and my sons sport schedules don't work out. It's heartbreaking to miss just his so I totally get where you are. I'm a single mom, so relying on others has become a necessity at times.
I have found that grandparents, aunts and uncles that are more than willing to help out when asked if you explain the situation. I also have really good friends (my personal friends) that aren't on any of his teams that have helped out in a major pinch.
I wish you the best of luck!

Seems obvious to me that you have 3 options:
1. Hubby commits to the 10:30 ballet every Saturday
2. Schedule less activities if you can't do it.
3. Set up a car pool plan with parents you know and trust. I disagree with the poster who suggested "My name is Mary, let's carpool!" Too many wackos out there to ask just anyone....